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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 6,465 views
Is Anybody Out There?
 

Chewy School Goodness

If I'm ever going to attend a four year school, I'm going to have to take a whole lot more math than just statistics. Do I try and get some of it done next year? Or do I try and keep the focus on the sciences I need for the radiology thing and not spread myself too thin?   I don't know. I'm back in obsessive mode regarding my classes. Obviously.   More:   Ooh! I just went through the new course catalog, and the genetics class I want to take has basic math and science prerequisites, which means I should be able to take it sometime in the next school year. But there's where I run into the problem I was chewing on up above- where do I fit it in?   They've also got several spanish classes that I'm now interested in looking at. (I was essentially forced into taking 3 years of it in high school because it was practical, so I never developed a love for the language, but I think I might be able to do that now.)   More:   How is it that I can obsess so much over future classes and yet be dreading tomorrow so much? There's no reason for it, either. I like all of them. In fact, this is probably my best quarter of instructors, and certainly one of my favourite classes, as far as people in it go. I'm going to fall apart when things start getting really difficult.
smallvoice

smallvoice

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

Spring Switch Witchery Alert!

Sign-ups are tentatively set for the 17th of this month, so if you want to play, be sure and start getting your questionaire ready! Just thought I'd give a head's up for those of you who don't stalk the swap forum like I do. I'll update with a reminder when the sign-ups are officially set.
smallvoice

smallvoice

5
Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Xiuhtecuhtli

Wet: mmmm....a lovely blend of refreshing citrus and warm florals Drying: yum, the smoke and incense appears. The further it dries the smoke fades and a beautiful musk appears. Dry: It reminds me so much of Pele, which I love, but a bit sexier.   I must get a bottle!   ETA: After a while it just went generic incense on me. But I'm thinking it would smell wonderful paired with Pele.
femmefatale

femmefatale

0
Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Isles of Demons

I think I really like this. It starts out a bit cologney at first, but as it dries it's a beautiful blend of warm musk and tropical flowers and greens. Not the soft tropical scent like in Pele, but something much richer and darker and deeper, like a jungle as opposed to island breeze. I think this would work well for both a man or woman. I'm going to try this a couple more times, but I think it might end up on my bottle list.   ETA: I think layering it w/Pele would work really nicely.
femmefatale

femmefatale

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

My thoughts on Pan's Labyrinth

I will be generous with the spoiler tags, for those who plan on seeing it. First, I'll do generalizations:   It is visually stunning. There's no denying that.   The cast is amazing. I need to watch more foreign films, because it cemented my belief that I just don't have an understanding of interpersonal relationships anywhere but where I've lived. In other words, not all the interactions translate into my sphere of understanding, if that makes any sense. It's like anger in anime always seems way, way overdramatic and over-done to me. . . which is a bit of a simplistic way of putting it, but that's all I can really say about it right now.   It isn't what I was expecting from the trailer I saw- but I read enough reviews to know it wasn't exactly what I was expecting anyway, but it still wasn't what I was expecting.   It seemed a little... scattered? Thematically, I mean. That could be my lack of understanding (as mentioned above) in part, but not wholly. And here is where I get into spoiler tags. Note: A lot of this is critical because I think a lot of the good has been advocated already, but I did really enjoy the experience.   Spoiler   I am probably in the minority here, and I realize that.   I was originally under the impression that it was a fantasy movie, sort of in the vein of Labyrinth, Willow or Legend. Then I was under the impression that it was a movie about blurring those lines between fantasy and reality. I'm left feeling like it wasn't a faerie tale, and it wasn't religious and it wasn't historical, and it sort of needed to define itself.   If it was a fable, it wasn't a good one, because the "moral of the story" kept changing- it could've been about faith, but the last test was to not have faith, so that's not it.   There were too many stories crammed into the movie, and they didn't feel cohesive to me. It sort of felt like they were all neglected; like they didn't have enough time to get to any of them completely.   I would've preferred more focus on the fantasy aspect, obviously. I would have been happy, though, if any one aspect had been central, rather than all of them seeming peripheral.   Also, looking at it from a historical standpoint- from what I understand, there were no good guys in that war, so I felt a little uncomfortable with how sympathetic the "outlaws" were made to be. (Isn't that essentially Stalin's camp?) I appreciate how unflinching and stark the film was about it, but it seemed like it was mis-represented a little bit, perhaps.   Finally, since I'm not in a place where I can coherently express myself, I have a teensy bone to pick.   That awesome, awesome scene for her second task? The guy with his eyes in his hands? That pissed me off. This chick crawls into the belly of a tree, with bugs crawling all over her, to look for some toad and feed some rocks to, just because the faun told her to. But when he makes it really clear that the one thing she can't do while she's in the second task is eat, she falters? It's not like she's starving. Her family is well taken care of on that front. And it's not like she's never read a faerie tale! She's obsessed with them! So she should freaking know better! But she still eats! That was so infuriating to me. At least there could have been some clever trap for her to walk into, but it was just straightforward. "Ho-hum. I think I'll pluck some dinner off this table where this freaky guy is sitting with his eyeballs on the plate... mmm." No. Not believable. That girl knows better. Anyway, I'm going to end this here. Heh.  
smallvoice

smallvoice

1
Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Pele

To be honest, my hopes weren't very high for this one. I've been finding that many florals do not like me.   Thankfully, I was wrong! I love ths one! It's such a beautiful, soft, refreshing floral. I wish it was stronger though, but it's kinda nice to just catch the scent now and then. It's almost flirty. I'm also thinking that this might layer nicely with some othr scents that need to be softened.   I have to get a bottle.
femmefatale

femmefatale

0
Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Le Fee Verte

hmmmm.....smells like a nice upscale perfume. Something like my mother used to wear, only a bit sweeter. I was a bit disappointed because in the bottle I got lots of lime-y??? goodness, but absolutely none on my skin. The vanilla musk comes out very nicely as it dries, along with the honey and something herbal. Also, a little powdery, but something there is keeping it from turning to complete powder on me. I'm glad I got to try it and most likely I'll keep the imp that was generously gifted to me, but I haven't yet decided on a bottle. I'll have to try it a couple more times. I'm also very interested to see how it will work in a locket.
femmefatale

femmefatale

0
Femme_Fatale's Blog
 

Tavern of Hell

Hubby just tried this since I was assuming it would be a very masculine scent. Happliy, I was wrong. I starts out very woodsy w/a hint of florals underneath. As it dries, the gardenia and orange blossom comes out. Luckily, not much of the ylang ylang since it tend to give me a headache. Underneath it all lurks a faint whiskey and a bit of tobacco.   I really love this and can't wait to see how it smells on me.
femmefatale

femmefatale

0
Ambitionless
 

Concerning the Title...

Ambition. It does'nt shame me to say that I have none. Aside from a general desire not to be a burden on anyone and to be a positive (or at least entertaining) influence in my community, I have no drive, no lofty goals, no metaphorical mountains to peak.   Naturally, it would be nice to be wealthy, or at least financially comfortable, but it's not a big priority in my life. As long as I can still afford BPAL every once in a while (and books, and the odd costume), I don't mind living paycheck to paycheck.   Don't get me wrong. I have passions in life. In these veins flows fiery dedication to certain pursuits. But there is nothing I could make a career out of. Or even successfully volunteer at.   I love to juggle (stage balls, chiffon scarves, pins, even torches), but though there have been phases in my life when I practiced consistently, I was never good enough to charge even a paltry fee at a children's birthday party. One certain-to-eventually-occur miscalculation with a flaming torch and WHOOSH, there goes little Billy's mass of cherubic curls.   Playing dress-up has always been one of my favorite past times, and was the only truly feminine element of my childhood. I was the proverbial tomboy. Even now that I'm a legal adult, I still spend hours of my leisure days floating around in frivolous knock-offs of Arwen gowns, reproductions of Anne Boleyn court gowns, saucy wench outfits, and feathered masks. But I can't draw, accessorize, or sew (and I've both attempted and studied all three), so costume designing is out.   Could I make an occupation out of testing BPAL oils? Wouldn't that be delicious? Although, to be skilled I'd have to study perfumery and train my nose to pick out specific notes. Scratch that. I'd rather just enjoy my own oils and enable all my friends.   The truth of the matter is, I'm a hedonist. To the core. I work to play, I don't play to work. Sensual pleasures obsess me, and the academic paths I follow don't lead to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, though they are rewarding in their own right. Still, I don't see a degree in my near future.   I see the value in saving the universe. Hey Beautiful, I recycle, reduce, and reuse. I donate to help natural habitats and to end world hunger. But I don't know what my purpose is, other than to delight in the simple pleasures, to look after myself and offer assistance to some others, to not step on any human or other creature (either figuratively or literally), to nourish my addictions to music, BPAL, Firefly and Serenity, and of course, making out with boyflames.   Mmm. Making out with boyflames.
Carmencita

Carmencita

0
Eoywin's Blog
 

Disney Honeymoon

We originally were going to go to Europe this year for our honeymoon... then realized how expensive it is to go to Europe (we are currently planning on Fall '09 for our European vacation).   Then we were going to go to Vegas Spring '07 for a mini-honeymoon, which I thought would be fun, but it was Todd who really wanted to go to Vegas.   At the end of July last year, Todd got very sick with a stomach bug, and he was sleeping in our guest bed because it was more comfortable (and closer to the ground / waste basket). We were in there, near the end of his sickness, and he, out of the blue, gave me the option of either going to Vegas or going to Disney World.   I didn't really have to think about it at all - DISNEY!!   Last time I was at Disney World I was 16 years old. My parents decided on a whim that we were going to go to Disney over Christmas. They decided like 2 months before hand, and we had an awesome time. I know that we went during the busiest week of the year, but there was only one ride we couldn't go on - The Little Mermaid ride in MGM. So, I'm dragging Todd on there, so I can say I finally went on it.   Anyway, I had been wanting to go back to Disney for a while. I really wanted to go as an adult with no kids, so we could do all the 'adult' like rides.   So we decided to go to Disney over our honeymoon. We will be there from Sept. 28 to Oct. 6th.   Of course, being the way I am, I am really excited, even though it's 8 months away. Todd thinks I'm crazy.   But I managed to tie sit him down, and we have a kind of plan of what we want to do each day. He also gave me free reign to pick out the places we are going to make reservations at, because he doesn't think it's necessary.   Of course, going to Disney for 8 days and staying at a moderate resort (we are staying onsite at the Port Orleans Riverside resort) is expensive. So, we planned on using our tax refund to fund the trip.   We did our taxes today and we are getting enough back to fund the whole trip!   So, I'm really looking forward to it. I hope the next 8 months fly by!
Eoywin

Eoywin

0
Forget Everything And Remember
 

We have kitten!

Our female cat was pregnant. Well, she still is, kind of, because she's still lumpy, but we have one kitten born! And she was a champ... I didn't even know she was in labor. My son woke me up by crashing through the bedroom door (not literally) and yelling, "Cleo's got a kitten!"   He's adorable, mostly gray with a little white. And he is Snowy's, so she named him Baxter.   I now have kitten smell on my hand, because he was born under the couch and that is not a safe place for him. And he smells like a newborn baby.   I SO want Beth to make Newborn Kitten BPAL.
Kitrona

Kitrona

1
Is Anybody Out There?
 

Are you a mermaid?

If not, your eyes cannot perceive my true words from here on out. They're written so only mermaids can read them, and the rest of the world will see mere drivel. Of course, the mermaids might only see drivel, but it will be true drivel and not the false stuff the rest of you are seeing. I'm evil that way.   Which one is sugared roses again? That's the twin I want. But now violet is sounding so lovely too!   After my insane couple of weeks, I finally got my switchee package out, and there's not even a nice note inside. It's hurried and short. I'm such a spaz.   But I have something cool coming and I'm really excited about that.   Tonight, my husband and I are going on a date. We're going to see Pan's Labyrinth, because my theatre decided to be awesome and show it here! (Instead of in Walla Walla, as I originally thought.) I shall bring tissues and report back about my experience. (I have been warned that I will be needing tissues.)   I love the latest Girls With Slingshots. (I think that's the one.) "I wish you'd just tell me to go bang some guy." "That's something you'll never hear a psychiatrist say. Also included are: 'I think the heroin is actually doing you some good!' and 'No wonder your mother never loved you.'"   I think I got a school loan. This means that we will possibly be able to fly out to visit my in laws over spring break, and see our new nephew. I am SO looking forward to that.   See how crazy I am? What the hell happened to the dark pit of despair? It's still there. It's just on the other end of the swing. Heh.
smallvoice

smallvoice

5
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

Dammit! Vanishing blog entries

This makes the second blog entry in a week that has disappeared into the ether. Last night's addition posted, then vanished overnight -- just like the last one that went *poof*   Is anyone else noticing this phenomenon, or am I just special in the riding-the-short-bus-to-school way??
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

2
Birdsongs
 

Wake up call!

So, the Sunday before last, Jason broke up with me. Two and a half years and we're done. I moved into the other room, but we still live in the same house. That's been interesting so far. I'm trying to resist the temptation to talk to him because whenever I do, I end up in my room sobbing my heart out. When I don't, I am beginning to have moments of okay here & there, and seeing how things can be better.   But.   Today I got to work and was told that the store where I've worked for the last six and a half years will be closing at the end of the month. I've got to decide what to do & where to go. I love that store. Everyone there is like a family. A family with 26 days left before everyone scatters to the winds. Plus now I can't check out books anymore. Do I transfer to another store & try to figure out new bus schedules? Do I use friend connections to get a job at Starbucks & maybe find a car with six weeks of severance pay? Do I try to find an office job in the area (because really I think I'd like one, maybe I could even work at a nearby Borders on the weekends & try to pay down my debt some)? Do I take this as a sign from the universe that I need a whole new beginning & should do something drastic like move to Boise (where my sister lives) & leave all my roots & beloved friends behind? (My father was in the Air Force - I never had roots or lived anywhere longer than three years before I moved up here for college. Plus, meeting new people is scary at any age, let alone now when there's no easy to to do it ...)   Feeling a little overwhelmed and panicky here ...
spanishviolet

spanishviolet

4
I will confess to you --
 

Blech.

I think this is just going to be a crappy weekend.   Let me preface this by saying that SAD is totally kicking my ass this winter, far worse than it has in years. That, and it's been a dreadful year in a lot of ways (between having to do hospice care for my grandmother, losing all my friends when I switched majors, relapsing back into my ED and not being able to lose weight fast enough and feeling hopeless for not knowing what the hell I'm doing with my life despite being at the age when I should have graduated). I'm miserable, lonely, always cold, isolated, withdrawn and desperately trying to hold it together.   Anyway. I'm going to be 23 on monday. I have no friends in this godforsaken state to go out with. Even my old friends that I see very rarely are too busy to even bother with me. There's nothing to do. I have no way to get money to go out and treat myself because Wells Fargo conveniently didn't send out my replacement debit card when mine expired at the end of January. It's absolutely freezing. My rent went up. The only good thing was that my mom and dad were going to take me out tomorrow night for Italian food and wine. Well, my dad has decided that he doesn't want to miss a chamber concert (seriously, they go every single weekend) so that's not happening. We can't do it on Sunday night because I have an 8am chemistry exam on monday so I can't drink that night. And to top it all off, I feel revoltingly fat and I still can't do anything about it as my achilles tendon is still sending shooting pains up my leg. I just want to scream.   And I know I'm being whiny and overreacting. I know it. That's why I'm bitching in a blog.   I'm just sick of feeling this isolated and unloved. I don't get what's wrong with me. I want friends in this state. I want a boyfriend who likes me and would surprise me with flowers on my birthday. I want to have my life together. I want to be sure that I'm doing the right thing. And I just don't know anything.
mermaidrage

mermaidrage

2
How difficult could it be?
 

A Beginner Knitter

so i bought stitch n bitch. so i completed the garter stitch scarf. i'm now on the 'ribbed for her pleasure' scarf. it's taking an age!   ok, so maybe i haven't been spending as much time on it as i should have, but the scarf needs to be 64" long.....so far it's 10" i never thought i'd get completely bored of a project before i finished it. does that happen to other people? am i just impatient?   i want to knit a sweater ffs!   and by the time i finish this scarf it'll be april and too warm to wear it.   *sigh*
Nemesister

Nemesister

7
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

...more GSSS stuff. Plus assorted nattering

D. has been accepted for the fellowship competition at OSU. Let the twitchy anticipation begin as the bidding war (hopefully) starts between the various schools.   He also finds the fact that I've named my ring mandrel "Mr. Poundy" to be extremely amusing.     Other than that, my chosen sister has talked me into a Shopping Accident at Gypsy Moon. I'm getting a pre-Raphaelite / Artistic style wrap jacket in bluish-grey silk velvet with tea-dyed lace trim.   I have no place to wear it, but it'll look fantastic with the black silk charmeuse blouse that she and D. already got me for my birthday. (It arrived the day before I had to leave, back in January. He couldn't wait until March to show it to me.)       Other than that, I'm seriously debating whether or not I'm going to do my usual Friday show today. Granted, the Cafe is only a couple of blocks away, but it means hauling stuff up there in sub-freezing temperatures and fresh snow, and hauling it back in sub-zero cold. One of two things is going to happen; either people are going to be stir-crazy beyond belief and come out in droves, or they're going to turn into hibernating bears. There's no telling which is going to happen until later, so I may just call the Cafe and ask whoever is tending bar what they think is going to be the most likely situation.   After all, if it's dead quiet, I'll just be hanging out on LJ and the Forum via my laptop, and I can do that just as easily from the comfort of my living room -- and not have to deal with their WiFi security system time-outs, or the blast of frigid air every time someone goes out to the patio for a cigarette.
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

3
RogueFeenix's Blog
 

Heal Over

The other post was just to exposing. Those that read it Thank you for the support. It means so much. It helps.   I keep thinking of a song called Heal Over by KT Tunstall. If you get a chance to hear it, it's beautiful. maybe I'll post the lyrics later or some other time.   Some quotes: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:If there is any reaction, both are transformed. Carl Jung   "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down." Mary Pickford   "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." James A. Baldwin   "Pretend, Pretend until one day you aren't pretending anymore and you'll see you can survive, that you had what you needed all along" Unknown   "I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve?.....I think I'm in the wrong building." Charles Schulz
RogueFeenix

RogueFeenix

1
Do you have a flag?
 

My grandparents' farm.

My mom is an elementary school teacher, and she's getting ready to retire at the end of this school year. Last year she bought her parents' farmhouse after my grandma died. She has many siblings, and although the land was divided up between them they weren't sure what to do about the house and buildings. A couple of my first cousins were interested in it, but they couldn't afford it. So, since my dad passed away a year and a half ago and my mom would like to live closer to her siblings (who are all in the same general area except one), she bought it.   Her original plan was to tear down the old chicken coop and the old barn that Grandpa built (they really needed to come down, and they're already gone now), and then tear down the old farmhouse and build a new house on the same site. When it was time to really make decisions about the house, though, she started thinking of all kinds of reasons why she didn't want to tear it down.   A couple of months ago she finally decided to stop talking about building a new house and just fix up the old one. By the time she's done, it probably will be more expensive than just building a new house. But it wouldn't be that house. The house she grew up in. She was the first child in the family who was born in the hospital instead of at home, so she wasn't technically born there, but her older sisters were. Grandma died in that house, too.   In the 1950s Grandpa added on a new kitchen and bathroom (before then they only had an outhouse) plus an extra upstairs bedroom. He built it himself, with timber he had cut down out back. He also built all the cabinetry in the kitchen and bathroom. Grandpa was a farmer, not a carpenter, but he built it. The wallpaper Grandma had hung in the 1950s was still there. There was some flooring in the upstairs that dated to the 1920s. That house had not changed one iota since before I was born, with the exception of new furniture in the living room and new carpet in the downstairs. That's it. My mom couldn't stand to think of tearing it down.   I'm glad she's fixing up the old house. I can't imagine that house not being there. Throughout my childhood we lived in four different houses, and my parents lived in several different places since I left home, but Grandma and Grandpa always lived in the same spot. The house my other grandparents lived in has already been torn down -- the people who bought it only wanted the riverfront property and wanted to put up a whole new house. So my only real "home" link any more is to that farm.   My grandparents moved into that house the day they got married in 1938 and never moved from it. Grandpa bought it from someone in his family -- his mother grew up on that same farm (different house at that time, but the same farm). That little plot of land there at the bend in the road with a creek running behind it and the best well water you've ever tasted in your life has been in my family since about 1850. The big red barn has my family's surname and the year 1891 etched into one of the doors. It was never a big farm -- only a few hundred acres -- and it was nothing fancy, but it was clean and well-kept.   My three sisters have no interest in living in the middle of nowhere on midwestern farmland, but I love that little 20 acres that is now my mom's. So my sisters and I kind of have an agreement that whenever that land gets passed on, it'll be mine to retire to. I told my mother than I have no problem putting a clause in my own will specifying that the land will be sold only to a descendant of my grandparents no matter what other offers may be. My ancestors have lived on that land for so long, it feels like it belongs to us -- even without the deed.   So many things in life change so fast... but some things need to stay the same.
filigree_shadow

filigree_shadow

5
Eoywin's Blog
 

My Sad Tale of Love

No - nothing is wrong with me and Todd, things are great with us.   Since there seems to be a lot of relationship troubles on the forum as of late, I thought I would share my sad tale of love.   I didn't date a lot in high school. In fact, I went on a total of two dates in high school, being my first date (so boooring! The guy was too shy) and the senior Prom (same guy as first date, but so much more fun because we went with a group).   I had one boyfriend my sophomore year of college, who I liked. He was madly in love with me, and when I realized I didn't love him at all, I broke it off with him.   It was in my junior year of college (I think) when I met Adam. And I fell head over heels in love with him, though looking back, I'm not sure why I did.   Our relationship had more downs than ups, especially at the end. We had to deal with both our moms getting cancer, his mom dying of cancer (mine did too, though it was after we had broke up). After his mom died, we moved in with his dad, which made things get really bad in our relationship, because a trailer with me, Adam, his dad and his dad's girlfriend/fiancee/wife made things really uncomfortable.   He couldn't deal with his mom's death because he didn't believe in any deity, and he started to be a real jerk, even though I bent over backwards to try and help him.   We moved out of the trailer, and into a house where Adam's friend, Ted, lived, but things didn't get any better, he just kept treating me worse and worse, until I broke up with him, and my parents came and got me (it was summertime, and I was still living in the town I went to college in).   I found out later that he was being a jerk on purpose, so I would be the one to break it off. Pussy...   But I loved him, madly, and it took me nearly a year to get over him. We were both in my ex best friend's wedding, and when I saw him, I realized that he wasn't a prize and I didn't have any feelings for him anymore.   Funnily enough, that wedding was the first time I saw Todd (though I didn't think of Todd in that way, since I knew he had a girlfriend who everyone thought he was going to marry )   I was single for about 2 years after I broke up with Adam, and it was the best thing for me. I had a lot going on during that time with my mom dying and having to move back home.   When Todd and I got together, it was very weird. Ex-best friend and I joked that it would be cool if Todd and I got married, because then our kids would be kinda related (Todd and xbf's husband are distant cousins).   My experience with Adam has made me appreciate Todd tons, because he's a great husband (most of the time ).
Eoywin

Eoywin

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

I'm here again.

My mood swings are seriously impressive. My anxiety is even worse. I missed school because of my anxiety today, and this is significant not because it's never happened before, but because I hadn't given up, and I wanted so badly to go, and I just couldn't. handle. it. I couldn't. There wasn't a single thing that was going to drag me out of this house. I couldn't write my paper that was due today, and I didn't get to do all the things that needed to be done TODAY. Not tomorrow. Right now. Hours ago. There were things that I needed to have done, and people, I just could not do them. I cannot convey the amount of frustration and despair I feel over this.   I really want to be a better person. I want to think that I am continuously improving, and that I am going to be strong enough to live like a normal person and get the education I want and make connections and be there for the people who need me, but I feel like I am stuck.   My mom has been sick for a long time now, and they've been trying to figure out what is wrong with her- loads of tests, and they've thought repeatedly that she has internal bleeding, but haven't found anything. So finally, instead of sending her back to the GI specialist, she went and saw a hematologist, who ordered her into the hospital to be watched, because her iron and her red (?) blood cell count was so low, and they did an iron infusion and finally sent her home, and now we wait to see if she starts producing the blood cells she needs, or if not, what else needs to be done.   So I'm a wreck, and she's taking care of me already- she went out and got my medicine for me today- and she has no business really being out and about, but that's just how it goes, and I wonder if I'll ever quit being a burden to her and be able to start taking care of her. In fact, I feel that way about most everyone in my life right now.   I shouldn't be feeling like this. And all I can do is stare at my switchee box that has yet to go out and feel hopeless about THAT, too. Is that not insane? Seriously, it's not like it is out of my control to drive to the post office and have it mailed out. But right about now, I'd like to sit in my very own padded cell and rock in the corner... and that sounds ridiculous and overdramatic in my head, so I can't imagine how it sounds out here, but I feel so freaking out of control, and then I'll come back here in a couple of hours and be appalled because of how overdramatic this is, but it is really how I feel right now, even if I don't feel this way later, and.... yeah. My head is really, really unhappy right now.
smallvoice

smallvoice

0
Eoywin's Blog
 

Sleet/Freezing Rain Day

Everyone is calling today a 'snow day' - but now there isn't any snow - it all was washed away by the 'wintery mix'!   This morning I get up, and look outside - there is a little bit of snow on Todd's but it didn't look icy, so I got dressed and went to work. The roads were fine.   Well, about an hour after I got to work, it started sleeting out, and kept sleeting. In my department, we were debating on what to do (my boss's mom and husband kept calling her, telling her to come home), all the higher ups started paging each other.   People who've been there longer than me (which is just about everyone), said that they were probably going to shut down because of the weather, which they did end up shutting the whole company down.   I nearly fell on my butt leaving work (it is darn icy out there), but the drive home wasn't too bad. I only slipped once, and that was when I was nearing home. The highway wasn't fun though, since semi's kept passing me.   So, it sucks because I only worked 2 hours today, but I'm glad I work for a company that puts the safety of their employees first.
Eoywin

Eoywin

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