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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
    • 6,606 views
 

Your going to be fine one day

my emotions are hard to make sense of. I'm hurt but wanting to heal and forgive and just alot of things. I want to be happy. And I keep listening to this song over and over. So I'm posting the lyrics. It is a song by KT Tunstall.   It isn't very difficult to see why You are the way you are Doesn't take a genius to realise That sometimes life is hard It's gonna take time But you'll just have to wait You're gonna be fine But in the meantime   Come over here lady Let me wipe your tears away Come a little nearer baby Coz you'll heal over Heal over Heal over someday   And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself That these feelings are in the past You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf Because pain's built to last Everybody sails alone But we can travel side by side Even if you fail You know that no one really minds Come over here lady   Don't hold on but don't let go I know it's so hard You've got to try to trust yourself I know it's so hard, so hard   Come over here lady Let me wipe your tears away Come a little nearer baby Coz you'll heal over, heal over, heal over someday

RogueFeenix

RogueFeenix

 

Open Letter to the People Who Applied for My Job

Dear Applicant,   Thank you for submitting your resume for the Gender Officer position in Afghanistan. There were several moderately qualified candidates and therefore, the selection was slightly difficult. I regret to inform you that you were not selected for the position due to one, or a combination of, the following:   1. You mentioned your “mental state” on your CV as “rural, urban, cosmopolitan”; 2. You sent me a long email after the phone interview explaining what you really meant to say during the interview, but just couldn’t; 3. Your writing sample included the phrase: “poverty has a women face” and/or “empowering the powerless through concretization”; 4. Your references told me how you “did not dress appropriately” when you worked in Kabul two years ago; 5. Your writing sample was 32 pages long, written in 2002, had eight annexes (including an ORGANOGRAM) and was over 1.5 MB; 6. Your writing sample had several misspellings and grammatical mistakes; 7. During the interview, you described your management style as “authoritative”.   Due to some, or all, of these reasons, we cannot extend an offer of employment to you at this time. Thank you for your interest.   Sincerely,   Confection

Confection

Confection

 

I blog, therefore I am

I am a word etymology geek, and of course, any sort of "where did that world come from?" question sends me off in search of its origins. In this case:   Webster's New Millennium™ Dictionary of English- Main Entry: blog Part of Speech: n Definition: an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page; also called [Weblog], [Web log] Example: Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author. Etymology: shortened form of Weblog Usage: blog, blogged, blogging v, blogger n   ______________________________   I admit, I was really down on blogging a couple of years ago, if only because the few blogs I'd run across were the most self-aggrandizing, nauseating pieces of crap I'd ever read. I realize now that the source I'd used to come across them led me to some very unsatisfying blogs. (A much different forum, I won't get into that right now, that's another entry in itself!)   Then I started reading political blogs, especially after watching a discussion on C-SPAN where a number of print media journalists were lamenting the demise of the newspaper as a source of true investigative journalism. The reason they most often cited for that demise was the proliferation of chain newspapers that functioned to reflect the views of the corporate ownership. One of the panelists was the woman who started the political humor-commentary blog Wonkette. Some of the more traditional print journalism panelists were dissing blogers because they lack the editorial control of journalistic ethics, and she retorted that when traditional journalism simply wouldn't look at the hard topics, investigate issues or print the controversial stories, blogs were stepping in to fill that void. And indeed, more and more serious journalists are running their own blogs these days, to the point that they're e-zines. I appreciate that a lot.   Since Wonkette is essentially a political humor blog, I started reading a few more general humor and commentary blogs, just because some of those people make me laugh like crazy. And my local newspaper makes me laugh, but only inadvertantly, and only because they are so hick and pathetic. Good blogs takes things to a higher denominator, and I feel like I'm actually a part of the world again.   So this brings me to writing in my own blog space, which I started mainly for the jollies of it. I saw it as writing practice, if nothing else -- I had no idea what I'd write about. But really, I tend to have a lot of stories. I see my life as an endless series of odd stories and observations, and I share the better ones. (Well, not all of them, but at least some of them.) Sometimes I get a little Zen or a little angsty, but that's human nature. And often, issues and problems take on a greater shape and clarity when one writes about them; the mere act of writing can help end the spinning-in-the-head that too often occurs if we just mull over things without setting them to print.   I think reading each other's stories gives perspective to our own stories. I have friends who know me well, who see me a lot, who have certain expectations of me, and who sometimes do not look at me with fresh eyes. (Not in that "fresh" way, for any of you perverts out there! Oh, oops, hold it...I'm the pervert! ) So many of you give me a fresh perspective, either from your own entries, or through comments on my blogs. Sometimes you are a realilty check that I just can't get from my friends. Hopefully now and then (when I'm not carrying on about underwear, high heels, BPAL or dreams of George Clooney), I give you a different perspective that might also serve as a reality check.   I think our reasons for blogging are as varied and nuanced as we are, and it only adds to the tapestry of our lives. All of you make my life so much more interesting, and for that I am most thankful.

valentina

valentina

 

Lady Macbeth

I was really looking forward to trying this, but unfortunately it *really* didn't work on me. Nice sweet berries but mixed with something really sharp smelling. I ended up with a bad headache and had to wash it off. I'm thinking maybe currants don't like me?

femmefatale

femmefatale

 

What's in a blog?

Andrabell's recent blog entry made me think about why I like to write blogs -- I started replying to her blog and then I realized that was WAY too much for a comment so I'm transferring it over here.   ----------------------------------------------------   Here's why I write personal stuff in blogs and LJ: I'm extremely indecisive and I like to talk through things with other people, in case they have ideas or points that I just haven't thought of. Or maybe they can see possible outcomes of decisions that I haven't considered. Or maybe sometimes I just want to hear "Yeah, you're on the right track."   The thing is, I just don't have very many real friends. Except for my three sisters and my husband, I have a total of three friends. One of them is a male drinking-buddy type that I see once every few months, one of them is a super-busy role model type (also male) that I talk to about my plans and ambitions, and the other one is so wrapped up in her own self and her own problems that mainly our friendship consists of her calling me and me listening to her. As far as "girlfriends" go, I am extremely lacking. I haven't chatted on the phone or in person with anyone about my own problems/issues in months. Literally.   In real life it's hard for me to make friends. I don't seem to have much in common with most women I meet, and men usually have wives or girlfriends who disapprove of them hanging out with me. I'm extremely introverted, and I'm a housewife who leaves the house twice a week to go to class (plus running errands and stuff like that). Even if I did make friends easily, I don't have much opportunity to meet anyone. The women I've met through the forums and LJ have pretty much become my "real life" friends.   I was watching the movie Tombstone yesterday, and in it a guy asks Doc Holliday why he puts his life on the line for Wyatt Earp. Doc says it's because Wyatt is his friend. The guy says "Hell, I've got lots of friends." Doc says: "I don't."   I guess most people have a network of friends they can call up and talk to whenever they want. I don't.

filigree_shadow

filigree_shadow

 

Chewy School Goodness

If I'm ever going to attend a four year school, I'm going to have to take a whole lot more math than just statistics. Do I try and get some of it done next year? Or do I try and keep the focus on the sciences I need for the radiology thing and not spread myself too thin?   I don't know. I'm back in obsessive mode regarding my classes. Obviously.   More:   Ooh! I just went through the new course catalog, and the genetics class I want to take has basic math and science prerequisites, which means I should be able to take it sometime in the next school year. But there's where I run into the problem I was chewing on up above- where do I fit it in?   They've also got several spanish classes that I'm now interested in looking at. (I was essentially forced into taking 3 years of it in high school because it was practical, so I never developed a love for the language, but I think I might be able to do that now.)   More:   How is it that I can obsess so much over future classes and yet be dreading tomorrow so much? There's no reason for it, either. I like all of them. In fact, this is probably my best quarter of instructors, and certainly one of my favourite classes, as far as people in it go. I'm going to fall apart when things start getting really difficult.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

Spring Switch Witchery Alert!

Sign-ups are tentatively set for the 17th of this month, so if you want to play, be sure and start getting your questionaire ready! Just thought I'd give a head's up for those of you who don't stalk the swap forum like I do. I'll update with a reminder when the sign-ups are officially set.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

Xiuhtecuhtli

Wet: mmmm....a lovely blend of refreshing citrus and warm florals Drying: yum, the smoke and incense appears. The further it dries the smoke fades and a beautiful musk appears. Dry: It reminds me so much of Pele, which I love, but a bit sexier.   I must get a bottle!   ETA: After a while it just went generic incense on me. But I'm thinking it would smell wonderful paired with Pele.

femmefatale

femmefatale

 

Isles of Demons

I think I really like this. It starts out a bit cologney at first, but as it dries it's a beautiful blend of warm musk and tropical flowers and greens. Not the soft tropical scent like in Pele, but something much richer and darker and deeper, like a jungle as opposed to island breeze. I think this would work well for both a man or woman. I'm going to try this a couple more times, but I think it might end up on my bottle list.   ETA: I think layering it w/Pele would work really nicely.

femmefatale

femmefatale

 

My thoughts on Pan's Labyrinth

I will be generous with the spoiler tags, for those who plan on seeing it. First, I'll do generalizations:   It is visually stunning. There's no denying that.   The cast is amazing. I need to watch more foreign films, because it cemented my belief that I just don't have an understanding of interpersonal relationships anywhere but where I've lived. In other words, not all the interactions translate into my sphere of understanding, if that makes any sense. It's like anger in anime always seems way, way overdramatic and over-done to me. . . which is a bit of a simplistic way of putting it, but that's all I can really say about it right now.   It isn't what I was expecting from the trailer I saw- but I read enough reviews to know it wasn't exactly what I was expecting anyway, but it still wasn't what I was expecting.   It seemed a little... scattered? Thematically, I mean. That could be my lack of understanding (as mentioned above) in part, but not wholly. And here is where I get into spoiler tags. Note: A lot of this is critical because I think a lot of the good has been advocated already, but I did really enjoy the experience.   Spoiler   I am probably in the minority here, and I realize that.   I was originally under the impression that it was a fantasy movie, sort of in the vein of Labyrinth, Willow or Legend. Then I was under the impression that it was a movie about blurring those lines between fantasy and reality. I'm left feeling like it wasn't a faerie tale, and it wasn't religious and it wasn't historical, and it sort of needed to define itself.   If it was a fable, it wasn't a good one, because the "moral of the story" kept changing- it could've been about faith, but the last test was to not have faith, so that's not it.   There were too many stories crammed into the movie, and they didn't feel cohesive to me. It sort of felt like they were all neglected; like they didn't have enough time to get to any of them completely.   I would've preferred more focus on the fantasy aspect, obviously. I would have been happy, though, if any one aspect had been central, rather than all of them seeming peripheral.   Also, looking at it from a historical standpoint- from what I understand, there were no good guys in that war, so I felt a little uncomfortable with how sympathetic the "outlaws" were made to be. (Isn't that essentially Stalin's camp?) I appreciate how unflinching and stark the film was about it, but it seemed like it was mis-represented a little bit, perhaps.   Finally, since I'm not in a place where I can coherently express myself, I have a teensy bone to pick.   That awesome, awesome scene for her second task? The guy with his eyes in his hands? That pissed me off. This chick crawls into the belly of a tree, with bugs crawling all over her, to look for some toad and feed some rocks to, just because the faun told her to. But when he makes it really clear that the one thing she can't do while she's in the second task is eat, she falters? It's not like she's starving. Her family is well taken care of on that front. And it's not like she's never read a faerie tale! She's obsessed with them! So she should freaking know better! But she still eats! That was so infuriating to me. At least there could have been some clever trap for her to walk into, but it was just straightforward. "Ho-hum. I think I'll pluck some dinner off this table where this freaky guy is sitting with his eyeballs on the plate... mmm." No. Not believable. That girl knows better. Anyway, I'm going to end this here. Heh.  

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

Pele

To be honest, my hopes weren't very high for this one. I've been finding that many florals do not like me.   Thankfully, I was wrong! I love ths one! It's such a beautiful, soft, refreshing floral. I wish it was stronger though, but it's kinda nice to just catch the scent now and then. It's almost flirty. I'm also thinking that this might layer nicely with some othr scents that need to be softened.   I have to get a bottle.

femmefatale

femmefatale

 

Le Fee Verte

hmmmm.....smells like a nice upscale perfume. Something like my mother used to wear, only a bit sweeter. I was a bit disappointed because in the bottle I got lots of lime-y??? goodness, but absolutely none on my skin. The vanilla musk comes out very nicely as it dries, along with the honey and something herbal. Also, a little powdery, but something there is keeping it from turning to complete powder on me. I'm glad I got to try it and most likely I'll keep the imp that was generously gifted to me, but I haven't yet decided on a bottle. I'll have to try it a couple more times. I'm also very interested to see how it will work in a locket.

femmefatale

femmefatale

 

Tavern of Hell

Hubby just tried this since I was assuming it would be a very masculine scent. Happliy, I was wrong. I starts out very woodsy w/a hint of florals underneath. As it dries, the gardenia and orange blossom comes out. Luckily, not much of the ylang ylang since it tend to give me a headache. Underneath it all lurks a faint whiskey and a bit of tobacco.   I really love this and can't wait to see how it smells on me.

femmefatale

femmefatale

 

Concerning the Title...

Ambition. It does'nt shame me to say that I have none. Aside from a general desire not to be a burden on anyone and to be a positive (or at least entertaining) influence in my community, I have no drive, no lofty goals, no metaphorical mountains to peak.   Naturally, it would be nice to be wealthy, or at least financially comfortable, but it's not a big priority in my life. As long as I can still afford BPAL every once in a while (and books, and the odd costume), I don't mind living paycheck to paycheck.   Don't get me wrong. I have passions in life. In these veins flows fiery dedication to certain pursuits. But there is nothing I could make a career out of. Or even successfully volunteer at.   I love to juggle (stage balls, chiffon scarves, pins, even torches), but though there have been phases in my life when I practiced consistently, I was never good enough to charge even a paltry fee at a children's birthday party. One certain-to-eventually-occur miscalculation with a flaming torch and WHOOSH, there goes little Billy's mass of cherubic curls.   Playing dress-up has always been one of my favorite past times, and was the only truly feminine element of my childhood. I was the proverbial tomboy. Even now that I'm a legal adult, I still spend hours of my leisure days floating around in frivolous knock-offs of Arwen gowns, reproductions of Anne Boleyn court gowns, saucy wench outfits, and feathered masks. But I can't draw, accessorize, or sew (and I've both attempted and studied all three), so costume designing is out.   Could I make an occupation out of testing BPAL oils? Wouldn't that be delicious? Although, to be skilled I'd have to study perfumery and train my nose to pick out specific notes. Scratch that. I'd rather just enjoy my own oils and enable all my friends.   The truth of the matter is, I'm a hedonist. To the core. I work to play, I don't play to work. Sensual pleasures obsess me, and the academic paths I follow don't lead to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, though they are rewarding in their own right. Still, I don't see a degree in my near future.   I see the value in saving the universe. Hey Beautiful, I recycle, reduce, and reuse. I donate to help natural habitats and to end world hunger. But I don't know what my purpose is, other than to delight in the simple pleasures, to look after myself and offer assistance to some others, to not step on any human or other creature (either figuratively or literally), to nourish my addictions to music, BPAL, Firefly and Serenity, and of course, making out with boyflames.   Mmm. Making out with boyflames.

Carmencita

Carmencita

 

Disney Honeymoon

We originally were going to go to Europe this year for our honeymoon... then realized how expensive it is to go to Europe (we are currently planning on Fall '09 for our European vacation).   Then we were going to go to Vegas Spring '07 for a mini-honeymoon, which I thought would be fun, but it was Todd who really wanted to go to Vegas.   At the end of July last year, Todd got very sick with a stomach bug, and he was sleeping in our guest bed because it was more comfortable (and closer to the ground / waste basket). We were in there, near the end of his sickness, and he, out of the blue, gave me the option of either going to Vegas or going to Disney World.   I didn't really have to think about it at all - DISNEY!!   Last time I was at Disney World I was 16 years old. My parents decided on a whim that we were going to go to Disney over Christmas. They decided like 2 months before hand, and we had an awesome time. I know that we went during the busiest week of the year, but there was only one ride we couldn't go on - The Little Mermaid ride in MGM. So, I'm dragging Todd on there, so I can say I finally went on it.   Anyway, I had been wanting to go back to Disney for a while. I really wanted to go as an adult with no kids, so we could do all the 'adult' like rides.   So we decided to go to Disney over our honeymoon. We will be there from Sept. 28 to Oct. 6th.   Of course, being the way I am, I am really excited, even though it's 8 months away. Todd thinks I'm crazy.   But I managed to tie sit him down, and we have a kind of plan of what we want to do each day. He also gave me free reign to pick out the places we are going to make reservations at, because he doesn't think it's necessary.   Of course, going to Disney for 8 days and staying at a moderate resort (we are staying onsite at the Port Orleans Riverside resort) is expensive. So, we planned on using our tax refund to fund the trip.   We did our taxes today and we are getting enough back to fund the whole trip!   So, I'm really looking forward to it. I hope the next 8 months fly by!

Eoywin

Eoywin

 

We have kitten!

Our female cat was pregnant. Well, she still is, kind of, because she's still lumpy, but we have one kitten born! And she was a champ... I didn't even know she was in labor. My son woke me up by crashing through the bedroom door (not literally) and yelling, "Cleo's got a kitten!"   He's adorable, mostly gray with a little white. And he is Snowy's, so she named him Baxter.   I now have kitten smell on my hand, because he was born under the couch and that is not a safe place for him. And he smells like a newborn baby.   I SO want Beth to make Newborn Kitten BPAL.

Kitrona

Kitrona

 

Are you a mermaid?

If not, your eyes cannot perceive my true words from here on out. They're written so only mermaids can read them, and the rest of the world will see mere drivel. Of course, the mermaids might only see drivel, but it will be true drivel and not the false stuff the rest of you are seeing. I'm evil that way.   Which one is sugared roses again? That's the twin I want. But now violet is sounding so lovely too!   After my insane couple of weeks, I finally got my switchee package out, and there's not even a nice note inside. It's hurried and short. I'm such a spaz.   But I have something cool coming and I'm really excited about that.   Tonight, my husband and I are going on a date. We're going to see Pan's Labyrinth, because my theatre decided to be awesome and show it here! (Instead of in Walla Walla, as I originally thought.) I shall bring tissues and report back about my experience. (I have been warned that I will be needing tissues.)   I love the latest Girls With Slingshots. (I think that's the one.) "I wish you'd just tell me to go bang some guy." "That's something you'll never hear a psychiatrist say. Also included are: 'I think the heroin is actually doing you some good!' and 'No wonder your mother never loved you.'"   I think I got a school loan. This means that we will possibly be able to fly out to visit my in laws over spring break, and see our new nephew. I am SO looking forward to that.   See how crazy I am? What the hell happened to the dark pit of despair? It's still there. It's just on the other end of the swing. Heh.

smallvoice

smallvoice

 

Dammit! Vanishing blog entries

This makes the second blog entry in a week that has disappeared into the ether. Last night's addition posted, then vanished overnight -- just like the last one that went *poof*   Is anyone else noticing this phenomenon, or am I just special in the riding-the-short-bus-to-school way??

goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

 

Wake up call!

So, the Sunday before last, Jason broke up with me. Two and a half years and we're done. I moved into the other room, but we still live in the same house. That's been interesting so far. I'm trying to resist the temptation to talk to him because whenever I do, I end up in my room sobbing my heart out. When I don't, I am beginning to have moments of okay here & there, and seeing how things can be better.   But.   Today I got to work and was told that the store where I've worked for the last six and a half years will be closing at the end of the month. I've got to decide what to do & where to go. I love that store. Everyone there is like a family. A family with 26 days left before everyone scatters to the winds. Plus now I can't check out books anymore. Do I transfer to another store & try to figure out new bus schedules? Do I use friend connections to get a job at Starbucks & maybe find a car with six weeks of severance pay? Do I try to find an office job in the area (because really I think I'd like one, maybe I could even work at a nearby Borders on the weekends & try to pay down my debt some)? Do I take this as a sign from the universe that I need a whole new beginning & should do something drastic like move to Boise (where my sister lives) & leave all my roots & beloved friends behind? (My father was in the Air Force - I never had roots or lived anywhere longer than three years before I moved up here for college. Plus, meeting new people is scary at any age, let alone now when there's no easy to to do it ...)   Feeling a little overwhelmed and panicky here ...

spanishviolet

spanishviolet

 

Blech.

I think this is just going to be a crappy weekend.   Let me preface this by saying that SAD is totally kicking my ass this winter, far worse than it has in years. That, and it's been a dreadful year in a lot of ways (between having to do hospice care for my grandmother, losing all my friends when I switched majors, relapsing back into my ED and not being able to lose weight fast enough and feeling hopeless for not knowing what the hell I'm doing with my life despite being at the age when I should have graduated). I'm miserable, lonely, always cold, isolated, withdrawn and desperately trying to hold it together.   Anyway. I'm going to be 23 on monday. I have no friends in this godforsaken state to go out with. Even my old friends that I see very rarely are too busy to even bother with me. There's nothing to do. I have no way to get money to go out and treat myself because Wells Fargo conveniently didn't send out my replacement debit card when mine expired at the end of January. It's absolutely freezing. My rent went up. The only good thing was that my mom and dad were going to take me out tomorrow night for Italian food and wine. Well, my dad has decided that he doesn't want to miss a chamber concert (seriously, they go every single weekend) so that's not happening. We can't do it on Sunday night because I have an 8am chemistry exam on monday so I can't drink that night. And to top it all off, I feel revoltingly fat and I still can't do anything about it as my achilles tendon is still sending shooting pains up my leg. I just want to scream.   And I know I'm being whiny and overreacting. I know it. That's why I'm bitching in a blog.   I'm just sick of feeling this isolated and unloved. I don't get what's wrong with me. I want friends in this state. I want a boyfriend who likes me and would surprise me with flowers on my birthday. I want to have my life together. I want to be sure that I'm doing the right thing. And I just don't know anything.

mermaidrage

mermaidrage

 

A Beginner Knitter

so i bought stitch n bitch. so i completed the garter stitch scarf. i'm now on the 'ribbed for her pleasure' scarf. it's taking an age!   ok, so maybe i haven't been spending as much time on it as i should have, but the scarf needs to be 64" long.....so far it's 10" i never thought i'd get completely bored of a project before i finished it. does that happen to other people? am i just impatient?   i want to knit a sweater ffs!   and by the time i finish this scarf it'll be april and too warm to wear it.   *sigh*

Nemesister

Nemesister

 

...more GSSS stuff. Plus assorted nattering

D. has been accepted for the fellowship competition at OSU. Let the twitchy anticipation begin as the bidding war (hopefully) starts between the various schools.   He also finds the fact that I've named my ring mandrel "Mr. Poundy" to be extremely amusing.     Other than that, my chosen sister has talked me into a Shopping Accident at Gypsy Moon. I'm getting a pre-Raphaelite / Artistic style wrap jacket in bluish-grey silk velvet with tea-dyed lace trim.   I have no place to wear it, but it'll look fantastic with the black silk charmeuse blouse that she and D. already got me for my birthday. (It arrived the day before I had to leave, back in January. He couldn't wait until March to show it to me.)       Other than that, I'm seriously debating whether or not I'm going to do my usual Friday show today. Granted, the Cafe is only a couple of blocks away, but it means hauling stuff up there in sub-freezing temperatures and fresh snow, and hauling it back in sub-zero cold. One of two things is going to happen; either people are going to be stir-crazy beyond belief and come out in droves, or they're going to turn into hibernating bears. There's no telling which is going to happen until later, so I may just call the Cafe and ask whoever is tending bar what they think is going to be the most likely situation.   After all, if it's dead quiet, I'll just be hanging out on LJ and the Forum via my laptop, and I can do that just as easily from the comfort of my living room -- and not have to deal with their WiFi security system time-outs, or the blast of frigid air every time someone goes out to the patio for a cigarette.

goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

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