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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
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Whiskers and Whispers
 

Another doomsday for my wallet!

Holy jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick. Beth has pulled out all the stops yet again with another bank breaker! The worst thing about these last two updates? Too many scents have been 'must get bottle NOW and don't bother with decants'! It's bad for my student loan, really. But it's so good to see so many wonderful scents that grab me either through notes, descriptions, names, associations or artwork (in the case of CD). Now this new Gaiman series has enabled me in the reverse, so to speak...in other words, I need to read his books. Even Beth herself enabled me to read his stuff on the NA Lush forum! If I still have enough money left, then it's off to Amazon to get American Gods... (Maybe this is a sign of obsessive fangirlishness but I get goosebumps when Beth replies to one of my posts! She's more of a celebrity to me than any of the losers on Reality TV ever could be!)   CROW MOON Love! notes: white musk, possibly winter wind Like notes: violet, cedar, evergreens Huh? notes: wintersweet, green-barked dogwood, primrose, snowdrop, and lenten rose hellebore bouquet Iffy notes: verbena (though I think vervain is different to lemon verbena?) I really like the way this is mysterious, dark and wintry, but with hints of spring flashing through it. A lot of these are notes I don't recognise, but this could wind up smelling a little bit like the Raven. I just hope that this foresty-wintry scent doesn't go the way of Carpathian Mountains, but it may well go the way of Snow Moon, Skadi etc.   OBOROT Love! notes: frankincense, earth Like notes: fir, pine Huh? notes: Greek mountain tea flower, sandarac, ravensara Iffy notes: sea spray, moss (if it's the Spanish kind) This blend looks so atmospheric, so dark, when I read the description I got an image of some kind of ancient ritual taking place on a dark stormy coastline, wild animals peering out of the woods and strange incantations. I have no idea how this will smell apart from maybe dark, wild, moody, and a tad incensy. Hopefully not soapy or uber-mossy.   FIRE PIG Love! notes: lychee Like notes: peony, bamboo, tangerine, orange, pine, kumquat, quince, narcissus, mandarin Huh? notes: pussy willow (think un-dirty thoughts, think un-dirty thoughts...lol) Iffy notes: plum blossom, dragon's blood I just love the concept of a Chinese New Year scent (I'm looking forward to the Ox!) and this looks like a bright, glittering firework of a scent, sparkling with yellow, peach, orange and pink shades of citrus and flowers and sweet delicious lychee, with a red sheen of dragon's blood. It looks fun, vivacious and celebratory.   ENRAGED GROUNDHOG MUSK Love! notes: cardamom, vanilla, musk Like notes: chocolate, caramel Iffy notes: cherry How can I refuse? Is the lil' fuzzy hog pissed off because he can't find his shadow? Or because the same day keeps repeating itself-well, that would make anyone enraged! Naturally, cardamom and vanilla sold me, and I hope the chocolate cherries behave, and that the musk is along similar lines to the Bunny or the Buck...   BILQUIS Love! notes: honey (crossing fingers that it will be the honey from Queen of Sheba), myrrh, rose, ambrette, musk Like notes: fig leaf, almond, apple Iffy notes: lily of the valley Swoon. I love Beth's exotic middle eastern orientals, blends that evoke seductive desert queens and sand dunes in the sunset and all that...and I adore those 'opulent rose orientals' where rose and loads of golden/sweet/resinous/musky notes mingle so harmoniously. I'd be interested to see if this resembles the Love Potion blend, Queen of Sheba, as it seems a few of the Gaiman scents seem to be variants on similar-named/themed scents in the rest of the catalogue. I think this will be QoS made even sexier and more delicious-in fact, this looks like the lovechild of Queen of Sheba and Les Bijoux. Hopefully the lily of the valley won't soap this scent out of what looks like perfection.   MAD SWEENEY Like notes: oak Iffy notes: whiskey! I'll try a decant of this just for the experience but if Beth says this is almost pure whiskey, I'll take her word on that. I'm sure it's a great conceptual scent but smelling of pure strong booze ain't my thing. It's definitely not a scent I'd wear on a driving test!!   MAMA-JI Love! notes: cardamom, spices, nutmeg Like notes: flowers (depends on what type) If I wasn't br0ke I'd get a bottle of this STAT. I can't resist cardamom, and with nutmeg and spices? Me wantee. I'm intrigued by the flowers. What kind of flowers will they be? Probably Indian ones (but hopefully not champaca, aka Banana Blossom of Doom) but my guess is that they could be similar flowers to the ones in Kali, as this is a Kali scent too. (I get the feeling that these different scents with similar names/themes/alternative names evoke different aspects or characteristics of the person/deity/creature/character, and I love that.) I loved the flowery drydown of Kali, so that with added spice sounds fantastic. And if it's in Beth's favourite list, that's got to be a good sign!   MR. IBIS Love! notes: papyrus, vanilla, Egyptian musk Like notes: sandalwood Huh? notes: aleo ferox, African musk Oh yeah. Egypt, baby. And Thoth! As if adding Egyptian Freaks to the CD was bad enough for my finances, now she had to go add Egyptian gods to her Gaiman line! Thoth is one of my favourite gods, I have an affinity for him, what with his connections to science and writing...and I've been waiting for Beth to make a Thoth scent and now she has! And it has papyrus! But I adore the smell of Egyptian papyrus paper, the golden, reedy, dry aroma that I smell on my countless gorgeous papyrus paintings. If Beth captures that scent in here, I will die of happiness. And I've also been waiting so long for another scent with Egyptian musk-as Beth's E-musk note is one of the best, especially the stunning musk in Debauchery (which would have been a favourite were it not for civet) and I hope that musk, or the one in Bastet, shows up here. I'm also curious about the aloe (hopefully it's like the fresh green aloe note I like) and vanilla is always good. This was a no-brainer-instant bottle purchase!   MR. JACQUEL Love! notes: amber, patchouli, spices Like notes: hyssop What the? MORE EGYPT? *paypal goes splodey-boom* And it's an Anubis-inspired scent! Oh my dog god!! I get the feeling this is going to be even better than the Excolo Anubis which I adore but it's not really an everyday scent-this one looks delicious. Amber is a favourite, as is patchouli (I wonder what North African patch is like) and I adore the combo of amber and patch, I'm wondering what those embalming spices will be like-will they be like the herbs in Anubis, or more spicy? This was another instant bottle purchase. I now wonder if there are more Egyptian god characters in American Gods...I've heard there's a Horus based character and someone mentioned a Bastet character too (correct me if I'm wrong)? I can't wait to see what else is added to the Carousel!   MR. NANCY Love! notes: cookies Like notes: tobacco, lime Iffy notes: bay rum I wonder if the Sugar Cookie note in here will be like Sugar Cookie 04, which was the most wonderful cinnamon biscuit ever, or like SC05 which was a more buttery, less spicy, boozier affair (which went burnt on me though)? I'm hoping for the former, but it could be a completely different cookie note...I have faith in Beth to make a delicious lime cookie scent which will smell fantastic on my skin. The addition of tobacco is intriguing, and the bay rum may or may not make this smell too masculine.   SPIDER Like notes: ginger, nutmeg, mandarin, bergamot, lime Huh? notes: artemisia Iffy notes: vetiver This one looks very masculine as a scent, like a citrus cologne with that gritty vetiver base. That's one of the notes that could be too much for me, depending on whether it's good vetiver of EVIL VETIVER OF DOOOOM. However, the nutmeg, mandarin and artemisia (wormwood? mugwort? tarragon?) remind me of Winter of our Discontent, which I loved, and the ginger could add a little kick. I'd be willing to try a decant but I think this is more of a man's scent.   So I bought The two Moon scents regardless (I have a feeling I might not like them but they could be miraculously good on me, who knows?), the Egyptian American Gods, Bilquis and the Blazin' Piggy, and they all have to put up with the Grumpy Groundhog who's also joining them on their transatlantic flight. Talking of which, I think my Hunger Moon/Spicy KitTea has landed at home! I am really, really looking forward to trying the, along with my Mummy and Vulture, and my Salons! A great week for BPAL all round!   On non-BPAL related news, my coursework is nearly finished! I'll get more, no doubt, but I'm not procrastinating as much as I used to
PurringPulsar

PurringPulsar

0
I will confess to you --
 

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATEUPDATE!

I am so thrilled for the Neil Gaiman scents, even though almost none of them sound like they'll work for me. How is it that Beth can make scents that I rationally know will smell awful on me so enticing?   Bilquis -- No, because it has the honey of doom. But... rose otto! Myrrh! Ambrette! Warm musk! How I wish I'd ever met a honey blend that played nicely on me.   Mad Sweeney -- Not for me, but I wish I had a boy to put this on a breathe in deeply and contentedly.   Mama-Ji -- Oh, this one is really, really, really incredibly tempting. It's not at the top of my order list, but I do love me some cardamom and nutmeg. It just depends on the other "spices".   Mr. Ibis -- YES! There is absolutely nothing in this blend I don't like. Vanilla flower? Musk? Sandalwood? Aloe? Please give now, thank you very much.   Mr. Jacquel -- Probably not because of the patchouli but it does sound lovely. Amber and hyssop, such a lovely sounding combination.   Mr. Nancy -- Ooooh, maybe. Sugar cookies, lime and rum... mmmm... I'm a bit leery about tobacco but this one has to go on the list.   Spider -- Hmph. If not for the vetiver, this would be a 'well DUH'. I wonder if I'll ever find a vetiver BPAL for me.   Crow Moon -- Okay, probably not because of the vervain, but that makes me so sad. All the florals sound lovely.   Oborot -- Oh yes! This sounds like a dark, thick blend I could really get into.   Fire Pig -- Absobloodylutely! If only because I'm really missing Hong Kong and Chinese New Year right now. Besides the fact that peony is one of my very favourite florals and everything else sounds delish.   Re-cap: Yes to Mr. Ibis, Oborot and Fire Pig. Maybe to Mama-Ji, Mr. Jacquel and Mr. Nancy. No to Bilquis, Mad Sweeney, Spider and Crow Moon.
mermaidrage

mermaidrage

7
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

Public Service Announcement

Ever had the feeling of a song being stuck in your head? It's called an earworm. Nobody knows what causes them, and they're contagious to boot.   There are only two scientifically proven ways to rid yourself of an earworm: either bash yourself over the head several times until unconsciousness ensues, or -- give it to someone else.   Therefore, I've decided to share the Brain Radio: Icicle Works Marathon. Enjoy.   (Even better: watch the video here and sing along!)   ***********************   Love comes down upon us and it floats like water Burning with the hope of inside Feathered books the colors of a bright elation Stolen in the sight of love.   We are, we are, we are we're just children Finding our way around in decision. We are, we are, we are all but helpless Take this forever, Whisper to a scream.   Birds fly in the eye of a painter's daughter Spoken at the bitter end Wasted sacrifice for the new nirvana Night time, sends us on our way   We are, we are, we are we're just children Finding our way around in decision We are, we are, we are all but helpless Take this forever, Whisper to a scream Whisper to a scream Whisper to a scream Whisper to a scream Whisper to a scream   We are, we are, we are we're just children Finding our way around in decision We are, we are, we are all but helpless Take this forever, Whisper to a scream.
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

0
Diplomatka
 

Something I'll Miss about Afghanistan

I just got a text that someone has left me a voice message on my cell. None of the mobile providers in Afghanistan provide that service, but it was nice for them to let me know that somewhere out there someone has left a message for me.
Confection

Confection

0
Do you have a flag?
 

Oooo, update!

I had just decided to put away my laptop and go to bed when the announcement email popped up in my InBox. I didn't even know there was a chance it might go live tonight, so it was a big surprise. But YAY, I didn't miss the update!   Here are my thoughts (apart from the general about Neil Gaiman scents!):   THE CAROUSEL: AMERICAN GODS BILQUIS: Honey, myrrh, lily of the valley, rose otto, fig leaf, almond, ambrette, red apple, and warm musk. I will love to try a decant of this because I like a lot of those notes. I had to be picky about which bottles I got, though, due to a rather small PayPal balance, so I decided against ordering a bottle of this. The honey, ambrette, and red apple are possible no-nos on me.   MAD SWEENEY: Barrel-aged whiskey and oak. Not sure on this one... I like oak but whiskey is iffy.   MAMA-JI: Spices, cardamom, nutmeg, and flowers. I don't think that one's going to work on me either. I usually stay away from spices.   MR. IBIS: Papyrus, vanilla flower, Egyptian musk, African musk, aloe ferox, white sandalwood. I have to try this one as soon as possible. I really like all those notes. I ordered a bottle.   MR. JACQUEL: Golden amber, hyssop, North African patchouli, and embalming spices. This could be really great -- when I was reading the description I accidentally read "embalming spices" as "embalming herbs" and remembered that the herbs haven't worked on me. I didn't order a bottle because of that, and now that I realize I mis-read the description I wish I would have tried a bottle.   THE CAROUSEL: ANANSI BOYS MR. NANCY: Sugar cookies with bay rum, tobacco, and lime. I love sugar cookies and I like those additional notes! This was the first one I saw that I didn't even have to consider -- I knew instantly that it would be in my order.   SPIDER: White ginger, artemesia, vetiver, nutmeg, King mandarin, bergamot, and lime. This one threw me for a total loop. I have no idea what that will smell like. I'll be on the lookout for decants for sale as soon as people start getting their bottles.   LIMITED EDITION: LUNACIES CROW MOON: This is the final Full Moon of winter. The call of the crow signals the end of the frost, and their scent, of vervain, black violet, white musk, and Chinese cedar, is brushed by the last cold wind of winter on their wings, and the scent of evergreen boughs touched by the season’s final flowers and the first blossoms of spring: wintersweet, green-barked dogwood, primrose, snowdrop, and lenten rose hellebore bouquet. I got this because I get all the lunacies, but I am almost positive that the "cold wind of winter" aspect is going to mess up the scent for me. It always does.   OBOROT Balkan fir sap, dark mosses, Greek Mountain tea flower, black pine, salty ocean spray, deep black earth, and a moon-touched magickal incense of sandarac, frankincense, and ravensara. I got this one too for the same reason, but fir, pine, moss, and earth are all bad on me. I don't expect I'm going to like it, but I'm willing to give it a shot.   LIMITED EDITION FIRE PIG A new year’s blessing! Peony, China’s national flower, with bamboo for flexibility, plum blossom for perseverance, courage, and hope, tangerine for wealth, orange for happiness, lychee for household peace, pine resin for constancy, golden kumquat, pussy willow, and quince for prosperity, narcissus and King mandarin for good fortune, and peach blossom for longevity, with a splash of blazing red of dragon’s blood… to help you scare away the rampaging Nian. Well, I did like Peony Moon, except that I thought it didn't seem to be too terribly complex -- this one sounds a lot more interesting. I'm not sure about it though, and since it'll be up for a while I figured I could take some time deciding on it.
filigree_shadow

filigree_shadow

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

Offline, for real!

My internet has been gone for the past week or so! I shall return as soon as the telecommunication gods decide they don't hate me anymore. Thinking of you all, and hoping you're doing well.     I will have a huge update coming when I do get back. (Possibly tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath.)
smallvoice

smallvoice

0
Fishnets and Frankincense
 

Of crazy jobs and heavenly scents

I've been really busy at work. I'm tired. I go to bed late, because I'm such a damn night owl, but lately I've been waking up at 3 in the morning and don't get back to sleep for an hour. Then at 5:30 the cat comes meowing his little cat butt off, asking to be fed. I put him on the bed and then he stands on me, kneading his paws on my chest. Oh, how relaxing. Then I got to work and run on pure adrenaline for 8+ hours. No wonder I can always lose weight in the legislative session.   So it was such a rush when I came home yesterday and found my Lab order. I ordered another bottle of teh Smut, Chintamani-Dhupa, Swadinapatika, Vasakasajja and Bakeneko. Filgree Shadow already has my bottle of Vasa heading her way, because my body blew up the orchid in that one and 'gree is a vasa junkie! And bless her, she swapped me for the Bakeneko, because I ADORE that scent. Holy crap, I've never had a lunacy that I liked, much less loved. Swadinapatika is nice, it gets nicer after I wear it for an hour, even better after two hours. I think I should wear it on days that the little asshole wakes me up at 5:30, because if I put it on really early in the morning, it would be to its gorgeous mellow level by the time I got to work. I have Chintamani-Dhupa on my sales thread right now, but if no one buys it tonight, I'm taking it down. I don't adore it, but I don't dislike it. And Smut, I love teh Smut. Needed another bottle, but I don't wear Smut in the winter. The pure holy musk can be a bit much for me right now.   My yoga teacher always says this, and it's very true, the brain needs to be scrambled and stimulated every now and then to keep on top of its game. When I meditated last night, I was as quiet as I'd been in a long time. Lately, my brain has been whirling a lot when I meditate, because work can be an obsession this time of year. I can't let it drop. But I swear, what stilled me last night was that I'd spent all evening sniffing and testing BPAL. For the people to test BPAL a lot, you know it's a very sensual and analytical process, all at the same time. You're kicking your senses into overdrive, but your brain is trying to decipher what you're smelling. Last night, it was what the doctor ordered, because it kicked my brain out of those old thought patterns and into something entirely new. How fabulous.   So I'm off to meditate and to then attempt to get ready for bed and to find slumber early (ha!) and to dream sweet-smelling dreams. And if the damn cat wakes me up at 5:30 again, you know I'll be wearing Svadhinaopatika tomorrow!
valentina

valentina

1
Eoywin's Blog
 

The Great Picture Project

I have a lot of pictures, and I've been thinking lately that I really should scan them into my computer, and make several cd's, so as to have them in case something happens.   The only problem that it's a bit hard to look at some of these pictures, and it brings up some unpleasant feelings.   Firstly, even though she's been dead for over 4 years, I have a hard time looking at pictures of my mom. When I do, I feel like sobbing, so I just don't look at pictures of her. With the picture project, I would have to look at them   Secondly, I'm not sure what to do with the pictures that have my ex-friends in it. Since I was friends with my ex-best friend for nearly 10 years, I have a lot of pictures with her in it. A lot with my other ex-friends as well. Right after we moved to NC, I was going to send the ex-best friend the pictures, but never got around to it. Now I feel that too much time has passed.   Looking at those pictures bring back everything that went down, and it makes me sad and angry at the same time. I won't scan those in, but I don't really feel right throwing them away either.   This has been on my mind, which was evident by my dreams like night, which one featured my mom, and the other featured my ex friends.
Eoywin

Eoywin

0
Squash Soup
 

I hate my life sometimes.

Please disregard any residual joy from my last post as it is gone. I won't be able to place that much anticipated order. Just when I thought I was ahead and was ready to treat myself.......I forget to log a debit and my account goes overdraft. The fees sucked up every last scent.   No new BPAL for Jessie for the moment. Thank god I didn't actually place the order and then find out I was broke! Thank goodness for small favors.
jessiesquash

jessiesquash

0
I will confess to you --
 

2007 Booklist.

Like everyone else, one of my resolutions this year was to read at least 100 books outside of classes. This is just my way of keeping myself accountable and possibly to give other people suggestions of books they might enjoy. I also write lame mini-reviews which you are welcome to giggle at.   1) Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress: A Novel by Dai Sijie. A lovestory (of words and people) set in a rural village in China during the Cultural Revolution. It heightens one's understanding of the horrors of Mao's plans for "re-education" and goals for China. Despite the injustice and the potential for anger, this story is charming and gentle, choosing to focus instead on making do with reality and finding an escape in language. Absolutely beautiful, a wonderful way to start out the year.   2) The Penelopiad: The Myth of Penelope and Odysseus by Margaret Atwood. Margaret Atwood does it again! As a reader, I've often wondered about the backstory of popular myths and what Penelope was REALLY like has always been up there in my mind, especially as I find her so much more interesting than Helen. The language is, as always, devastatingly beautiful and honest without being blunt.   3) Life Before Man by Margaret Atwood. I'd never even heard of this particular Atwood work and, at the end of it, I can understand why. It must have been more shocking when it was originally written, but for me, the swingers were uninteresting because they seemed so normal. Lasje, however, with her dinosaur-fascination did manage to hold my attention to the end. If you're an Atwood fan, it's worth a read but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone just starting to explore her work.   4) Lighthousekeeping by Jeanette Winterson. This is a lovely, quick read that I could have spent a month on. Silver's story woven in with Tristan and Isolde is absolutely breathtaking. The wonderful thing about Winterson is that she manages to write what feels truthful in a way that it is different upon every reread. Her honesty is multifaceted and prone to slipping away under scrutiny.   5) Willful Creatures: Stories by Aimee Bender. A quirky collection of short stories from the author of The Girl in the Flammable Skirt. I can't possibly describe them without using the words "surreal" and "bizarre". With characters from a big man who keeps a little man as a pet to an insomniac with an iron for a head, these stories will either draw you in or leave you out in the cold.   6) Piranha to Scurfy: Stories by Ruth Rendell. This collection of Rendell's short stories definitely has its weak points, but the first and last story (introducing Ribbon the literary snob and Ben who stumbles into a relationship in a village where everything works... differently) make up for it. Rendell's background as a mystery writer shines through as these stories are full of questions and waiting with baited breath for whatever comes next.   7) Eleven Minutes: A Novel by Paulo Coelho. Maria is a girl who, at a young age, determines that love will not come to her. By the time she is 19, she is working as a prostitute in Switzerland. The title comes from her realization that sex takes only eleven minutes to complete and yet people are obsessed with it, a theme that she will continue to wonder about through the whole book. Her trials and triumphs are sometimes fascinating, sometimes bordering on idiotic. All in all, worth the read but nowhere near Coelho's best.   8) The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien. I'd actually read this before, but it was one of the books that I read when I was 8 and trying to prove that I could. It didn't mean much to me then but this time, I'm awestruck. I love the poetry and the songs, the dialogue between the characters. It reminds me that I really need to go back and reread the Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Silmarillon.
mermaidrage

mermaidrage

4
Do you have a flag?
 

Well, this is not good.

I just caught myself in the act of chewing a fingernail. It had a little tear in one side, and now it's gone.   This upsets me because my new year's resolution for 2006 was to stop chewing my fingernails. It's a habit I'd had since I was a kid. I bit my fingernails all the time, and my hands never looked pretty and womanly. They always looked beat-up and rough because of having terrible fingernails. So I quit. I reallly, honestly quit. I spent all of 2006 trying to figure out how to care for fingernails because I'd never had them before. They'd get long and I'd say "Wow, look at my long fingernails!" My husband would say, "Yep. Here's the nail clippers." It took me almost a year to use the clippers because I was so upset about the idea of cutting down the fingernails that I had been so good about growing. I was filing, filing, filing constantly.   This winter I've learned about nail brittleness. Almost all of my fingernails have started to get cracks on the edges, fairly far down. I tried to glue a couple of them, but that only held for a few days at the most. Plus I messed with them absent-mindedly. Yesterday I realized that so many of them had those cracks that I'd better just cut them all down. I cut them to a reasonable short length. A little white crescent moon on the ends of my fingernails.   The problem is that now they're so short they're the perfect biting height. Earlier tonight I was feeling annoyed and irritated about something, and before I knew it I'd lost a fingernail. Crap! Now I have to go through that whole agonizing torture of forcing myself NOT to mess with my fingernails all over again until these grow out. Luckily they grow fast (I never knew my fingernails grew so rapidly until I started letting them grow -- they're like weeds!), but it'll still be several weeks before I can stop thinking "DO NOT BITE FINGERNAILS!!!" in the back of my mind at all times.   But, hey. If a bitten fingernail is the worst thing to happen to me this week, that's a damn good week, in my book.
filigree_shadow

filigree_shadow

3
This Old Snark
 

Stabbity Craft

Snarky got back on the needle felting wagon this weekend. She made a little desktop meditating turtle for her best friend, who is currently going through some tough times trying to find work in an over-saturated market. On to the cuteness!   Behold the Om Turtle!   (Fuzzy) Close-up   The shell is detachable. Note the cute little turtle butt! The lighter colored... thingie is a pocket. And what's in the pocket?   A wee little heart! Or a T-bone steak! Whichever will make her happier!   There is something very therapuetic about stabbing a blob of fluff repeatedly until it forms into something. Snarky couldn't completely zone out (that would result in punctured paws) but she could take her mind off of more serious matters this weekend and concentrate on just making something.
darkitysnark

darkitysnark

8
Birdsongs
 

Rediscovered joys

Things I can do again now that I'm not dating Jason:   - watch TV with subtitles. I love subtitles! Jason found them too distracting, but they have so many benefits! You can turn the volume down to be considerate to the other roommate who has to get up earlier in the morning, & still watch TV. You can pick up things you would have had to rewind several times to hear. You can save time on watching special features like deleted scenes of the Office by putting on the subtitles then fast-forwarding & reading the little sentences as they flicker by (sometimes I get really impatient ).   - eat whenever I want instead of having to wait for him to get home so we can eat at the same time. Also, go to Taco Bell on the way home if I feel like it for some reason, without having to consult anyone else.   - choose what to watch. For instance, last night I found the 1994 movie Kiss of Death on TV & watched the last half of it. In high school my friend & I had a thing for David Caruso & we loved this movie. It was a little simpler than I remembered, and I think his magic is gone for me, but all the actors were still good, & it was fun. And then when I needed something to distract me (I'm fine during the day - work, calling friends - but then at night when I try to sleep I start to think about what we were doing a week or two ago & start to cry) I can put on my DVDs of the original Batman cartoon & drift off admiring its art. Jason finds South Park to be soothing on sleepless nights, and I grew to appreciate some of its wittiness, but it's got nothing on Batman!   - watch the opening credits as many times as I want when watching rented TV show dvds without being pressured to fast-forward through them to save time. I enjoy the theme songs - it's part of the whole experience!   Hmm. Next time I'll try to find some that aren't TV-oriented. That's just what I did last night. I'm trying to think more positively & post blogs that aren't just sadness. This may not be all the way there yet, but it's a step ...
spanishviolet

spanishviolet

2
Korshka's BPAL Ramblings
 

Heroine Circle and the First Set of Reviews

I'm slowly making my way through the Heroines. I would have thought that after spending so much time decanting these Friday night, that I would have more of an idea of them all. But this time, unlike with the Yules, I didn't really notice them as I was decanting. I blame the dogs and having to yell at them to keep them in line all night. The good thing is that since there are extras, I can take my time in trying each of them. So far, I adore Vasakasajja, like Khandita, and not so fond of Kalahantarika. (Khandita and Kalahantarika I tried out at the request of Indicolite in chat Sat night).   My little not so great reviews: Vasakasajja Khandita Kalahantarika As far as the decanting itself, it went much better this time. I was able to really knock my way through them. I think this partly had to do with wrapping my index finger up in gauze to protect it from the nasty little vial caps. After decanting the Yules (which were only 6 bottles) my poor little finger was red and had little circles up and down it from those little things. This time, my finger was protected, and because of that, it was much easier and quicker pushing down the little caps.   I think I really enjoy the decanting. I hope to do many more circles.
korshka

korshka

0
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

From the desk of Grad Student Support Staff

For those just tuning in, read the entry directly below this one first for the sake of clarity.   So, earlier today, D. calls and asks if I’ve had a chance to check my e-mail. (Again, unexpected; we had talked for almost three hours last night.) Umm, no; so I pulled out my trusty little iBook and logged into the house network.   University of Colorado Health Sciences Center sent him a “we want you to come look at our PhD program!” invitation.   Again, more background is needed: a well-known university back east whose name I will not mention (but which rhymes with Rons Bopkins) sent a very similar “let us wine and dine you so we can see if we’re mutually compatible” invitation to him two years ago. After wining, dining, and forming what seemed to be a mutually good impression, they said “thanks, but no thanks”. I had a front-row seat for that particular emotional roller coaster; he had many reasons for wanting to go there, starting with the fact that it’s a damned good school, and he would have been entering directly in to their PhD program. The other reasons were equally valid, but intensely personal, so I won’t mention them here; just take it as given that the rejection letter was equal to a well-aimed gut punch, and leave it at that.   Two years and a really traumatic move later (did I mention that he had a broken leg at the time?), he gets this invitation from a school that he could have applied to two years ago, and saved a whole lot of heartache.   For the record, that’s essentially a transcription of him being Gloomy and Russian; the views expressed by the Grad Student do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this blogger, et cetera. The bioinformatics program at University of Colorado was in its infancy two years ago; he could not have gotten the education that he felt he needed from the program at that point, and I supported his decision to go somewhere that would best serve his needs. Whether that was Baltimore or Minneapolis, it didn’t matter; the CU-HSC was not where he needed to be, and that was that.   The program really appears to have gotten its collective act together in the intervening span; they’ve got a good balance of faculty, and the curriculum seems to be reasonably sound. And again, he has reasons to find the idea of a PhD bearing the name University of Colorado rather appealing -- personal ones, but very real.   There are several things to consider, though, that have nothing to do with wants and wishes; hard, cold, practical matters that won’t allow themselves to be ignored. Moving is expensive, to start with; moving up there was costly, moving back would be no less so, and make it borderline impossible to buy property. (Of course, this would probably apply to anywhere other than Minneapolis or Chicago; Columbus is just far enough away to make U-Haul look like a nightmare.) CU’s program has come along way, but it’s still not as well established as the other schools to which he has applied. There’s the issue of how much of a stipend they’re willing to free up, and what they would require as far as TA and RA duties.   On the other hand, Denver is Home, and this place has been calling him back ever since he left. He has never stopped being homesick for the place where the streets know his name. When he got out of the Air Force, he moved back and was determined to never leave again, but life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. He has contacts in both the math and computer science departments who could probably be counted on to put in a good word for him. And there’s the obvious appeal of spending a two or three more years in the rodina before taking up the life of the academic gypsy.   On the third hand (he commented that he needs as many hands as Kali for this discussion, at which I told him to get out of my brain, because I was thinking the same thing) ...he really doesn’t want to leave Minneapolis. It’s a good school, and even when he’s whining about the work load, he admits that he is getting the education that he wanted from it. He loves the city -- not in the same way as Denver; Denver is Home, but Minneapolis could become a home -- and he knows that I have come to love it as well. Financially, Minneapolis makes the most sense; moving expenses would largely be limited to a small truck, beer and other beverages, and pizza for those who were helping out. The housing market is starting to come down a bit, we have a good support network, and did I mention the fact that we both really like the city?   Plus, there’s the uncomfortable feeling that he’s backtracking. He could have applied to CU two years ago and avoided a lot of grief, or so those insidious little voices that make introspective people’s lives uncomfortable keep telling him. He wasted time. He’s backtracking. Things like that. I, of course, could not allow that to go unaddressed, and said “if you go to the grocery and buy a piece of fruit that you like, but it’s not ripe yet, it isn’t backtracking to put it on the counter for a couple of days until it’s ready.” He liked that analogy, and countered “And, in the meantime, you still have to eat something.” I don’t expect the ugly little voice to shut up quite this quickly, but at least I could get to to pipe down for a while.   All in all, though ...Minneapolis. It’s a good place, and one where we both feel very at home. Of course, it isn’t up to him; it’s up to the Admissions Committee, and the fact that the professor for whom he works is on the committee doesn’t make a difference. His professor is not That Kind of Guy. D's application will be given no more favorable consideration than anyone else's -- laudable in principle, but kind of annoying in practice. And since I'm not the sort of person to send off e-mails saying things like "do you know how many hours he spent coding on that ^$ project of yours yesterday?", we're pretty much stuck with crossing our fingers and gritting our teeth.   However, all of this falls under the heading of “long term planning”; today’s issue was far more immediate. Logistics for the CU-HSC recruitment thing.   His proposal was that I fly up just before he had to come down for the interview weekend, take care of Maggie Waggy, stay until Spring Break, and the two of us (three, if you count the pup) drive back down to Denver -- which translates to him driving and me handling Maggie, as well as food and beverage distribution. Map wrangling isn't necessary; he's made the trip many times before, and it's impossible to get lost in Nebraska. There's nowhere to go.   It sounds like a wonderful idea; however, my id and superego are about to come to blows over it, while my ego stands there going “I am so not getting in the middle of that.” The reason for this emotional donnybrook is that there are a couple of craft shows that look like good prospects for me, and they fall right smack in the middle of this timeframe.   I managed to make a decent amount last year, despite the fractured nature of my schedule. I only did two shows that weren’t my usual Friday “set up at the Cafe and see what happens”. This tells me that I’m building some necessary momentum, and now is the time to get more aggressive about booking as many events as I can. I want to get my trademark, and my website, and be able to take my act on the road in a much broader sense. All of that requires money, though, and that means getting myself out to more events where people are going to be interested in spending it. Preferrably on me.   I know that I won’t be letting him down by telling him no, and he has already told me that I shouldn’t feel guilty about doing so if that’s what I feel is necessary. He knows me well enough to know that it's not going to work that way, but form requires us to say it to the other. It’s just that I dislike being pinned between desire and necessity. I want to spend the time with him. I always want to spend time with him; we’ve known one another for almost 20 years and have never tired of one another’s company. I just can’t be in two places at once, though, and it hurts that I have to choose between fulfilling an immediate want and doing what is best for my business, myself, and Us in the long run.   I know what I’m going to have to say, and I’m already disliking the saying of it.   Either way, we will see each other before the end of February, and either I’ll be flying up for break, or he’ll drive down. Or possibly, I’ll end up driving up, as I have not had the best of luck flying out of DIA lately.   Why can’t we just get to a point where the biggest decision that we have to make is whose turn it is to do the dishes?
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

2
Port Wine and the Morning Star
 

The Good, the Bad, and the Stinky

I smell like pirate crotch, courtesy of Masabakes, which is a delightful scent if you want to drive away your crab lice. No. No. That's not fair. It'll curl your eyebrows, but I really DO like it. Does it make me weird that I enjoy the really dark, feral, ferociously stinky scents?   I put on Satyr before bed last night and woke up in the morning with that gleeful sort of Christmas morning glow. I had no idea why, until I raised the sheets and caught a whiff of myself, and what the perfume had done cooking under the bedclothes all night. It went from the smell of a very well-groomed goat to being the smell of three days worth of pitilessly good sex crammed into eight hours. Subconsciously from the smell I'd been expecting to find another person in the bed, and it smelled like they were sex-ay. This Satyr owns a disco in the hip downtown district, baby!   Curiously, they make a killer root beer float.
Naamah_Darling

Naamah_Darling

0
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

The Long and Winding Road, take 2...

Well, I have confirmed that the lengthy, insightful, and occasionally witty blog entry that I composed last night / this morning (it was sunrise when I finished, so...) has, in fact, been eaten by the database.   Grr arrgh, indeed.   I suppose that it gives me a chance to write something perhaps better, especially in light of this morning's phone call (that’s, what ...five for this week?)   Let me start with some background: the man about whom I am very serious is separated from me by about 900 miles. Twenty hours drive time -- even if you drive like I do, Nebraska never ends -- or two and a half by air from where I live. (Although, after having gone to Minneapolis four times in the past 12 months for an average of three weeks at a shot, “where I live” is subject to a broad definition at this point.) He’s a graduate student at University of Minnesota in the process of finishing up his second MS. The field in which he is studying is biostatistics, which is a branch off of the larger discipline of mathematical biology -- a subject which fascinates me and apparently causes our friend Vanessa’s head to explode if she tries to comprehend what he’s doing.   His first Masters was earned here, at University of Colorado - Denver; computer science with a bioinformatics focus (bioinformatics being the computer science powered side of mathematical biology.) Since he truly loves mathematics, and the CU Health Sciences Center biostatistics program was in its infancy, he elected to go to U of M for his next step -- which was supposed to be a PhD, but U of M decreed that he needed a biostatistics MS before entering their PhD program. So, he’s getting the second MS out of the way, and applying to several different PhD programs, including U of M’s.   He also had a First Author publication before he got his first MS, has been an author on three more papers since, with another in the works. The man is both smart and driven.   No, I’m not at all proud of him; why do you ask?   At any rate, the bane of his existence of late -- and therefore mine by proxy -- has been his PhD applications, handled by a service known as SOPHAS; the Schools of Public Health Applications System, also known as “the circle of Hell that Dante left out because it was too grim". (Thank you for the turn of phrase, dearest.) Or, as we have taken to calling it: SOPH-ASS. If it seems that neither one of us is particularly impressed by their service, you’re not wrong. Don’t take my opinion as gospel, though; here are D’s own words on the subject:   “I have now spent as much time on the application process for various PhD programs as I would on the average class over the course of a semester. Also $500 or so, counting application fees, getting re-issues of transcripts and GRE scores, etc.”   The financial aspect, although annoying, is an investment. The time that he has had to put into this is unforgivable. SOPHAS is the brick wall against which D. has been beating his head for the past couple of months, in addition to carrying a full-time class load in something rather more demanding than Underwater Basket Weaving (we will not go into the special Hell that is his Analysis course at this time), his TA duties, and RA work. No grad student has the time to devote to the sorts of hoops that SOPHAS demands an applicant jump through, which leads me to think that the people responsible for this service have never tried to go for any degree over baccalaureate. Add to this the fact that SOPHAS appears to like having all submitted applications achieve a certain degree of ripeness before sending them on to the schools themselves -- with no regard to whatever deadlines the schools themselves have set for applications and admissions.   In other words, if D. had submitted his applications in the form of cream, the universities would have finally gotten them in the form of blue cheese.   This is why, every time I’m there, I spend an absurd amount of time in the kitchen, cooking enough food to provision the Shackleford Expedition to Antarctica. Twice. Every meal that he can just pull out of the freezer is equal to roughly two hours that he can spend on homework, other work, or sleep. Plus, it equals $20 that he doesn’t have to pony up to Pizza Luce. (Not that I have anything against Pizza Luce in the slightest; they’ve been our salvation after a couple of horribly delayed flights, since Luce delivers until 3AM. However, even their menu gets old -- and expensive -- after a while.)   So, the latest part started on Tuesday afternoon. D. called -- unexpectedly, since we had talked the night before.   He got home from class / office hours to find a message on his answering machine. From The Ohio State University (yes, they capitalize the “the”.) OSU wanted to get all of his application materials straight so they cold enter him in a fellowship competition. His reaction was a three-way tie between “#&$*&%!^ SOPHAS; they had to call because those morons sat on everybody’s application until the deadline went by”, “OMG, they really really like me” and the pragmatic “my GPA and publication record tripped a flag for the fellowship requirements; SOPHAS is handing them a bunch of applications that are technically late through no fault of the applicants, and they need to get the ball rolling as fast as possible.”   It’s a good fellowship. OSU would be paying him as much as U of M is, only without having to take on TA and / or RA work; his job would be to attend class and put his dissertation together. OSU has a couple of well-recognized names in the field: Stanley Lemeshow is pretty much to biostatistics what Stephen Hawking is to physics. OSU probably has more immediate name recognition than U of M, which could make a difference when it comes time to look for that first faculty position. Columbus is cheaper in terms of cost of living than Minneapolis. And did I mention that it’s a really good fellowship?   But...   D. confessed to me that he now has empathy for what I went through, being bounced around from address to address as a kid. I could have lived a long and happy life without ever having him know what that felt like. Sympathy I can live with, but he didn’t need to have personal experience. He uprooted his entire life: sold a house that he loved, moved away from his parents, old friendships, from here and all that makes Denver into Home. The rodina. A place where, as he puts it, the streets know our names. Yes, his military career had him moving from place to place; yes, he has chosen a new career that has the potential to be highly nomadic. Yes, as a professor and researcher, you have to go where you can do the best research, and yes, you probably won’t be able to spend your entire academic career in one place.   That, however, is the rational side of his brain talking. On the other side is a four-year-old kid pitching a grand “do’WANNA!” fit.   He wants to stay in Minneapolis. I want for him to be able to stay in Minneapolis; joining him there, obviously. He has been visiting friends there for over a decade; it was one of the reasons that he applied to the university in the first place. Those friends, most of whom I had never met until this past June, have accepted me into their circle nearly effortlessly. One of those friends (one who I did know previously) was part of the Muddy’s Java Cafe tribe, lo these many years ago; when I was there in December, Lexi and I talked about the possibility of getting work studio space together. She and her ex-husband Michael made sure that I got out to play as much as I wanted. One of D.’s classmates loaned me a car for while D. was out of town; I can’t drive D.’s car as it’s a stick shift. To leave these connections behind and go to a place that neither of us is familiar with would be painful beyond words; both of us place a high value on friendship, and especially the concept of chosen family. The fact that several people who he has known since high school seem to have taken the “out of sight, mostly out of mind” approach since he moved hurts him; since there have been times in my life when I had to turn to friends instead of family to keep myself sane and healthy, I understand, and ache with him.   (Of particular ironic potential is the fact that one of the school that he has applied to is the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center, but that’s a whole different issue, and deserving of its own post, which I will make within the next 24 hours. No, really; I promise.)   He wants to be able to put down roots again, even if it is for but another year or two; a desire with which I am in complete agreement. He wants to be able to buy a house again; not a huge one, just big enough to comfortably house two humans with pack rat tendencies, a seven year old Olde English Bulldogge, two sixteen year old cats, and a ferret without everyone tripping over each other and the furniture. He wants a yard for Maggie-pup; again not a huge one, just a space that she can call her own -- like she had here in Denver. (Yes, we dote on the fuzz and consider the impact that any plans will have on them. Deal with it.) He wants a home that is Ours in the way that his condo almost was, but without the stamp of his ex-wife. He knows that I’ve come to love Minneapolis, and wants me to know the city as he does; not as a frequent visitor, but a resident. It is at times like this when I see the mark of his family history in him, whether he sees it or not; his father’s mother came from a little village in Lithuania which no longer exists, but her family had lived in that area for 500 years. Roots mean something to him, and to me as well. And right now, he literally has no idea which of six cities he might be living in come autumn.   Now, imagine dealing with this mostly through 900 miles of copper and fiber optic cable.   So that’s where we are; up in the air, clinging to one another as the only guaranteed thing in the other’s live at the moment.   Next up: today's installment of "Tales from a Harried Grad Student", which hopefully isn't going to disappear into the Twilight Zone like this one did last night. (Helpful suggestion du jour: text editor or word processing programs are your Friend.)
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

0
Squash Soup
 

A Windfall!

I just came into a handful of money thanks to my Grampa so now I can place a rather large order!! I know that I want to submit myself for the Inquisition for sure. I don't even know if whether I'd prefer Agony or Ecstasy...except that I like the Ecstasy t-shirt....so I think I'll just leave it up to them to decide. I'm hoping I'll get what I'm meant to.......or I'll just trade until I do. Oooh and a couple of the fizzyBOOMS!! (Grr and either Seduction or Quietude...I haven't decided which yet.) Now that I have a bathtub.....!!!!!!!!!   As for the rest of my order, I'm going to order:   The Parliament of Monsters Arachnina Eshe Faiza Asp Viper Hope & Faith Meskhenet Thalassa Tiresias Zarita Priala   Abhisarika Khandita   Salon Exhibit I imp pack   And a 5ml of Anubis because I've been putting it off for far too long and I really want it.   *squee* This is going to be a fabulous order!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jessiesquash

jessiesquash

2
Goth Hobbit's Blog
 

Huh?

Did the board just eat the great big entry that I just posted? 'Cause it isn't showing up.   I'll deal with it later. Grr arrgh...
goth_hobbit

goth_hobbit

2
Eoywin's Blog
 

On Vacations and Costumes

I haven't written in this blog forever, but I will attempt to be better at it.   With my new job and new found happyness, I don't have much to say in internet land anymore.   There is always so much more to talk about when you are unhappy I guess *L*   My day to day life is pretty boring, so I'll spare all of you that. Instead, I'll talk about the trips I'm planning on taking this year.   The first is Dragon*Con which is defined as such on their website:   Dragon*Con is America's largest, multi-media, popular arts convention focusing on science fiction and fantasy, gaming, comics, literature, art, music, and film.   Dragon*Con is Labor Day weekend in Atlanta, GA   I've known about Dragon*Con for about 4 or 5 years now (maybe longer), and I've always wanted to go. Luckily, our first Asheville friends go every year, so I have someone to share a hotel with.   The only downside to Dragon*Con is that my husband can't come, because of work But we decided that there was no reason I shouldn't go.   So, I love costumes and cosplaying, so I'm of course planning on wearing costumes for Dragon*Con. I'll be bringing at least one old costume, and making one new costume. I'm not the best sewer in the world, so making costumes is hard for me. I used to be friends with someone who could sew and she'd make my costumes, but since we've had a rather large falling out, so I'm forced to make my own costume.   This is the costume I'm making for Dragon*Con:     It's the girl in the pink frilly dress (oftentimes called the Cupcake Dress).   Since I'm not the best at sewing, I'm starting out with a base dress, and adding th e ruffles and the other bits. My boss (who is also becoming my friend) told me about this really neat thrift store she goes to, and I met her yesterday. I found a dress that could be my base dress (and for 50 cents!), but when I got home, it was a little tight - I couldn't zip it up all the way. Though that could be my arms not being able to reach all the way around.   So, I'm geeked about that. I'll probably post pictures as the process goes along.   The other vacation I'm really excited for is our Disney honeymoon! Though since this post has already gotten long, I post more about that later.
Eoywin

Eoywin

0
Birdsongs
 

The other shoe.

All week I felt surprisingly okay, for living in the same house as my now-ex-boyfriend. My friends took me over to their place several nights to hang out & watch TV, & I talked to our other roommate, who was my best friend for ten years - this last year has put a strain on our friendship & we've been on & off talking to each other. We hadn't talked since before Christmas, & it was nice to speak with her again, even if it was for just a little while. I've even talked to Jason a couple of times & we had friendly ten-minute talks about stuff we were doing, reading, etc.   Then yesterday I went to a birthday party for an old college friend. We played games, ate pizza, watched episodes of House - fun was had. His wife was driving me home (since I have no car) at 2:30 am and as we pulled up in front of the house, we could see through the living room window that Jason was in there with the girl he said he had feelings for the night we broke up. He said today that they were just talking because the coffee shop closed, but I don't care. It's been five days - Five Days! - since our two and a half year relationship ended. I'm fine with him bringing other friends over, but not her. They can just have coffee at IHOP - not my home. He keeps saying he wants to be friends, but friends have more regard for each other's feelings than that ... But seriously. Five days!   I ended up spending the night at my college friends house, then having lunch with them & going shopping, which was a nice distraction. But after I got home & talked to Jason & asked him not to bring her here again, I went in my room & cried a lot. Which really sucks on the one hand, but on the other, at least I can stop wondering when the numbness will wear off or if there's something wrong with me because I don't feel intense emotions ... The other shoe has dropped, & I do. Thank goodness for friends - they've been a lifesaver this week.
spanishviolet

spanishviolet

5
Do you have a flag?
 

TMI.

I've been inspired by the recent spate of blogs about bringing out the inner sex kitten, so...   I woke up my husband at 4:00 in the morning for purposes of sex.   This was a pretty common thing when we were first together, but after six and a half years it's not as common as it probably should be. I'm not even sure if you can say "not as common" if it's like once in three years.   When he got home told me he was tired at work all day today but he was also happy. Maybe I should do that more often.   Next on my sexy agenda: Tweezing my eyebrows into pinup-style arches!
filigree_shadow

filigree_shadow

2
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