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  • Silvertree

    Mod post: No wishlist posts in blogs

    By Silvertree

    Please be aware that we do not permit swap-related content on profiles or in blogs. Please post this content only in the For Sale, Swaps, and Wanted forums, or in the Wishlists topic. ~from Swapping 101  Thanks!
    • 5 comments
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Emain Macha
 

The Fine Art of Map Making

So sooner or later, in the process of writing a fantasy novel, I find that I have to figure out where the hell my hero IS. And I will admit, I can be a bit pedantic about the whole thing. I like my maps. I like to know exactly how long it takes my hero to go from point A to point B to point C. If I don't have maps, I tend to make fairly simple but devestating errors in the geography. It's just easier for me when I have it all laid out.   Over the course of my writing, I have gradually come to the realization that I like it when my maps make sense. They don't have to of course. In a world where magic and gods exist (as they do in mine) "because I want it that way" IS a possible answer to "why is that piece of terrain filled with jungle when it logically receives no rainfall?" But it's not really very satisfying and it feels exactly like the cheat it is. I would much rather have that piece of land be filled with jungle because its near the equator and it DOES receive rainfall, and lots of it, due to the large ocean current offshore that pulls in all the really fun storms.   So last night I sat down with a friend of mine, who is a marine biologist (okay, he has a degree in marine biology...quite naturally he works in IT administration,) and we looked over my maps. *sigh* Quite, quite unworkable. Areas that I want to be warm would in fact be very cold, areas that I want to be stormy would be anything but. Some of it I can live with, but some changes — like the idea that the Capital City would not experience a monsoon season — are simply unacceptable. It's a major plot point!   So there's nothing to be done but redo the maps. Fortunately, other than the relationships between certain countries (the Manol, the Scar, and Khorvesh must all border each other) and geographical features (the Argoná plains should be...well..plains) a lot of it is very flexible.   I'm just thankful I figured this out now, before I'd spent too much time figuring out the identities of the ancient God-Kings, something that is very much tied into geography.
Macha

Macha

7
circe_blue's Blog
 

Campus Visit, BPAL, The Omen etc.

So tomorrow I go to visit the campus of my grad school. I have an apartment viewing at 11, advisor meeting at 1, and campus tour at 2. Logic would have dictated that the campus tour should've been scheduled first so I would know where to meet my advisor and see my apartment building but scheduling with this particular tour guide was kinda difficult, since he has stuff going on that day and wants to get home early to take care of his sick daughter. I am kinda excited and aprehensive at the same time.   Apartment Viewing: The campus made a deal with a hotel chain so it is renting out several floors to graduate and international students. Which means that although the apartment is technically off-campus, it very close (across the street) and high speed internet and cable is through campus. Whoo! Also, the price is amazing. It would cost $900-1000 in the area I live now to get either a crappy one bedroom in a sketchy area or a studio. I will be paying much, much, less. I am viewing the "master" bedroom. Rock. And the girl who I talked to who will potentially be my roomate sounded really nice. She's getting her master's in physical therapy, very cool.   Advisor meeting: I'm still kinda scared about this because I have images in my head of the worst case scenario which would be the advisor laughing at me and telling me I wasn't accepted after all. Argh. Though it probably will just involve reiterating the rules of the program (3.0GPA or above to graduate, no C's allowed), and picking out some classes for fall. Ah, it kinda feels good to be picking out classes and buying books again after (only) a year of working out in the "real world". I will miss my lovely steady paychecks and most of the people I work with. Also a friend once said to me, the best part about working vs. School is that after you come home from work, you're technically off the clock and there's no extra work like projects or studying to be done. Ahhhh, that *is* nice.   Campus Tour: Looking forward to this, the campus looked really nice on the website/brochure. I went to a fairly large college for undergrad and that took a lot of getting used to. I'm glad I'm going to a smaller place for grad. ******************* I was going to make an order this month but I didn't really think Lotus Moon would work for me. I'm afraid of Soap!Lotus and Evil!Rose which happens to be one of the scents that my skin amps like crazy. Maybe next month? Is next month Hungry Ghost Moon? Either way, I want new smellies before I go away for fall!   Also, I was heartbroken when O turned to a sweet soapy concoction on my skin. Dammit, I wanted to smell like sex too! I left it for about 2 months and either I'm starting to get used to it, or it has morphed a little, but I don't find it so icky anymore. Death on a Pale Horse, despite the coolest name ever, was too masculine for me. I do love The Hamptons and Swank though. Man, I must smell like a lush! ************** Has anyone ever seen the Japanese trailer for The Omen? I did, and when the priest says "his coming has heralded the Apocalypse" or something similar the trailer goes through a montage of sorts of all these disasters. Fire, flood, etc. Anyways, I thought I saw a flash of, get this, two very tall buildings in a large city with smoke coming out of them. Yep, the Twin Towers. I thought I was seeing things, but then I rewound my downloaded trailer and yep, there they were. WTF?! Are we blaming 9/11 on Damien now?! Ugh. I was disgusted that they even brought it up in that way. I saw another trailer today on TV and for a similar part, they showed a clip of the Asian tsunami. You know, that footage that's taken from the balcony of a hotel in Thailand and then this huge wave comes crashing into the patio/pool area. Again, ugh. ********** On a lighter note, I'm listening to the Firefly soundtrack. It makes me happy, especially theme song which I used to sing as "Take my love, take my land, something something cue the fiddle" Rawr, for Simon Tam.
circe_blue

circe_blue

0
littletingoddess' Blog
 

"You smell like pot...."

I love the observations I get from others when I wear BPAL. Sometimes they are right on with what the intended feeling the scent is supposed to provoke, and other times... not so much.   Today I wore Thanatopsis to work. One of my coworkers, who I adore, as soon as I was smelling distance from her, she said, "you smell like pot". Not in a "ewwww!" kinda way, but in a "hey... got some to share?" kinda way. LOL Now, I've smelled pot burning, and it's no where close. So a bit later, so mentioned it again, so I got asked for other coworkers opinions. Hey, any excuse to thrust my wrist under the nose of an attractive male coworker!! He said "vanilla?" Not sure where he got that from. Another female declared "incensy". So we figured out that the first girl was associating it with the incense she burns to hide the smell of the pot!   Kelly, the same coworker, has observed that Roadhouse smells "like sex"... like parking down a country road. And Lust smells sexy, she's complimented me many times n that one.
littletingoddess

littletingoddess

0
Emain Macha
 

The BPAL art you'll never see

Oh believe me, it exists.   Some of it, you may yet see — one day. There is a t-shirt design that's been hanging out in the wings for about five months now while we sort out color and t-shirt styles and the fact that the company that we usually use for the shirts doesn't make the kind of shirt we really want. Hopefully it will get sorted out fairly soon — I want this shirt to see daylight. Then there are the label designs that were, for one reason or another, rejected — or simply haven't been used yet because the Lab is in too much chaos. Sometimes I know far in advance what will be in an update, and sometimes I don't know until it's up on the web site. There is plenty of artwork that just wasn't quite right, and so wasn't used.   So on to the BPAL art that you hopefully WILL see:   Right now I'm starting to work on the Carnival Diabolique art, because although I don't yet know what the individual scents will be, I can start work on the look and feel (and this time I'm going to do a better job of making sure the posters are made, and that the artwork will make an easy transition to t-shirts and maybe *crossing fingers* some cool hoodies.) Beth has mentioned another artist she knows for making some different poster designs, and I'm very excited about that possibility. (I know my limitations, and although I CAN do twisted freakshow art, this other person is without doubt so much better at it I can only applaud them.) I started some portraits of lab staff before Convergance, and am planning on finishing them in time for the summer. (They are very easy to paint, being an exceptionally pretty group of people.)   Of course, what I am REALLY looking forward to is the Lacuna series. I don't know exactly what Beth has planned, but I wants to do the labels...oh yes...   It should be a very lovely summer.
Macha

Macha

0
Is Anybody Out There?
 

School

I HAVE to apply for financial aid for the '06-'07 school year very soon! Turns out I'm going to be taking a series of two math classes instead of this one I'm failing so miserably right now. It sucks, and I don't want to fail again. It makes my GPA cry. And by fail, I do mean fail. I'm trying to see the positive side, which is that I'll get to take more classes that I really want to try, to prepare for the career path I'm interested in before the pressure really sets in. Since when did 2 year colleges become 4 year schools?   I'm really, really tired.
smallvoice

smallvoice

0
Squash Soup
 

what's that smell?!

It's another dull and rather long day at work but it matters not when I'm wearing teh Underpants. The only thing that I'm sad about is it's quick-fade tendencies. I also don't feel like anyone can even smell it. I haven't gotten one compliment and gosh darn it, it smells fabulous on me! I know that I'm a scent addict but I'm always noting when people smell good and I tell them too. A delicious smell can totally make an otherwise yuckerific day and so I like to appreciate those that brighten my days. Eh...I'm sure it's just me that's weird. I was actually thinking about my obsession with smell the other day. I have the keenest sense of smell and I often associate different smells with moments in my life or places I've been to. I remember things based on their smell more so than what they actually look like. I know that it comes from my childhood. I had a super weak bladder as a kid so essentially I always smelled like pee which isn't all that great for making friends. Once I got over that phase, I became absolutely obsessed with being clean and smelling good. I also think it comes from my mom who is constantly remarking on how things smell. It's kind of interesting how your childhood shapes the rest of your life and how it can have such a huge impact on such seemingly natural things like how we use our senses.   I think that's enough rambling, I just thought that you all would sympathize with my general whinning....or not but what can I do?
jessiesquash

jessiesquash

0
Fishnets and Frankincense
 

Celebrate

Things to celebrate:   It's going to be around 80 degrees here tomorrow! Woot! It's been almost chilly for a month now and I am getting the urge for some semi-hot weather. Remind me I said this when I'm complaining about the weather in July.   I maintained my self-control and ordered a 10 ml of O and one bottle of Lithia. That's all.   I get my hair done tomorrow. It's just entirely too long for me to stand it right now.   I did the trip to my mother's care center, the dinner and my trip home with equanimity. The drive was pleasant. I listened to Shawn Colvin on the way down and she was good preparation.   I'm leaving work now to go to yoga class. I think doing some yoga is going to jar loose a few mental blocks that I've been struggling with all day long. It's worth a try...     Music in my CD player: Bob Schneider, "Lonelyland." Because Baby Bob just rocks my world! And he's always something to celebrate!!!!
valentina

valentina

0
Filling the Periodic Table
 

T-18 hours!

Just 18 hours to go!   So anxious. I think I'm pretty ready, but I won't know for sure until tommorrow morning. Ooof. Unfortunately, there is a lot more on these exams than can be tested in 35 questions, so the tests are *very* different from sitting to sitting. There is a certain element of chance about whether or not the material on the exam overlaps well enough with the stuff I've studied. I could get blindsided.   Anyway, thanks for all of your well wishes!
antimony

antimony

2
Gone Batty
 

::Yawn::

I had initially decided to start my blog with a recap of my vacation but I'm feeling pretty tired at the moment so I think I'll do that later. I had to get up at quarter to five this morning to work on some servers during the maintenance window. Unfortunately there's no other time to do this but I don't really mind. It means that I get to leave work early and that means I'll miss rush hour traffic. The only crummy part is that I have to get up early the rest of the week to finish the installs so my sleep schedule is going to be off this week.   The first thing I'm going to do when I get home is crawl into bed with my vampire book. I'm not usually one for vampire stories but I really like Charlaine Harris' take on them. My only complaint is that they aren't long enough and I usually finish them within a day or two. It's a nice change from all the history stuff I've been reading lately.   I almost wish that I didn't have belly dance class today but I know I'll change my mind once I get there. That's how it usually goes with yoga too. I just wish I had the chance to take a longer nap after work but since I have to get up early that's probably a good thing.   Gah! My boss keeps sending me emails about new projects and tasks and my mind is so mushy right now that I just can't process them. I have a feeling it's going to be like that all week.
miss apple

miss apple

0
This Old Snark
 

Floored

Snarky has lost her freaking mind.   Case and Point   This is the flooring she wants for her bathroom. The Mister wanted something more neutral, but this just spoke to her.   Maybe it's because the colorway is called "Asian Tiger". Snarky is just a complete sucker for names of colors that say nothing about the color. (Then again, The Mister's choice was something like "Picasso Splash" or somesuch.)   Send help. Preferrably in the form of beigy, calming tones.
darkitysnark

darkitysnark

6
Diplomatka
 

One Year On

Today is the one-year anniversary of when it all happened.   At 8:30 pm on Monday, May 16, 2005 I got the call. Mark, a guy who works for me, phoned crying and said, “there’s been a kidnapping. It was C”. C was the manager of a program for vulnerable women and widows at my organization. I didn’t know what to do. I felt helpless and distraught and phoned a friend I’ve had for years who is also living in Kabul. I was screaming and shouting and my friend, and having heard that someone from my organization had been abducted, she thought it was me. I calmed down enough to let her know what was really going on and to let her know the details: C was traveling back from yoga class. Mark and another woman had been dropped off when two white Corollas blocked the road, men with Kalashnikovs broke the passenger side window and dragged her out. They went in the direction of the British Cemetery—that’s all we knew.   Although there had been warnings and at least three prior attempts, we were not sure who had taken her or what they wanted. Was it the Taliban? Was it a gang? I sat on the patio in the Qalala Pushta house and drank wine and smoked cigarettes all night, waiting for the phone to ring. My husband came out and put his arms around me. “It’s going to get worse, so prepare yourself”, he said.   I thought back to the staff meeting we had had that morning. I remember seeing her there, all of us crowded around the table in my cramped office. She looked great; wearing a new black blouse that she got from my favorite shop, Crystal Light. I wondered what would happen to her. Would they rape her or kill her? What did they want? I kept saying to myself that she was such a nice person, how could this happen? The ironic thing was, she was supposed to leave Afghanistan three weeks earlier but had decided to extend her contract. The morning that it happened I went to Chicken Street to buy her a silver bracelet for her birthday party on Wednesday night. We were going to have a cookout for her 33rd birthday.   The next day at work was useless. All of the international staff walked in, zombie-like and feigned being busy. I went out on the back stoop to sit with the guys while they chain smoked. The Director called a staff meeting at 9 to tell everyone what he knew. He had been up all night—in contact with the Embassy, with ISAF (International Security Assistance Force), with C’s family and with our headquarters in the states. No one had any idea what was happening. We filed into the conference room and the Director explained the situation: no demands have been made; we do not know where she is or who has her; two groups are claiming responsibility. While the Afghans in the room were threatening to find the people responsible and do all kinds of nasty things to them the Director’s phone rang. It was the kidnappers. The negotiations began.   I felt like I was in an action movie or a documentary: sitting around the table in the dining room at the office talking about what had happened and what we were going to do. The head of security for our organization came out from the states and took over my office; two people from International Risk arrived to develop a strategy; there were reporters. Different groups started making demands: remove international troops from Afghanistan, shut down Arman Radio (a progressive radio station that plays heathen music such as Britney Spears); but soon we were able to determine that Timur Shah had her. He was calling from her cell phone.   Timur Shah was a murderer. He had killed and been found guilty, but since the police could not find him and put him away they had incarcerated his mother instead, hoping that this measure would force him to turn himself in. However, he did not turn himself in, but decided to kidnap a foreigner instead to secure his mother’s release.   The next few weeks were a nightmare. Timur Shah had said that he had strangled her at one point (which all the media in Afghanistan reported), then took it back. The guys at my work bought time with the local cell phone company to send instant messages to all subscribers asking for information. Stickers and posters were made and distributed. The widows from C’s program rallied. (One funny point was when the widows carried a sign at one of the demonstrations that read, in English, “C made us widows!”) We were on the international news. Consultants came and went. Negotiations dragged on. Two times in the first two weeks we were close to a release and then nothing.   The only reprieve for me was a trip to Bangkok for a conference. I thought that I had gotten away from all of the stress and anxiety until I picked up a Wall Street Journal during a coffee break. There, on the front page, was a short paragraph stating that a video had been released. It was on the news that night, but I refused to watch it. I just couldn’t take it because I knew what the inevitable next step would be. In the video, which I saw later, she was rolled in a carpet with a scarf on her head (which she never wore) and an AK-47 pointed at her. They asked her to state her father’s name and then her brother’s. When she said her brother’s name Timur Shah replied, “I am your brother now”.   After 25 days, she was finally released on June 9. No one called; I saw it on CNN. She was immediately whisked out of the country. We watched Euronews as her plane landed and she was greeted by her Prime Minister. Surrounded by her family as she walked off the plane, she was wearing the black blouse that I had envied at our staff meeting nearly a month before.   Two weeks after her release, we got an email from her telling us what had happened. After being abducted she was taken to a house not far from the spot where the kidnapping took place, in the same neighborhood where many of our staff live. The kidnappers did not hurt her in any way; she had only lost weight and gotten a lot of mosquito bites. There were children in the house who would come and peek at her from time to time and she could hear women’s voices. She tried to time her bathroom visits (the toilet was a latrine across the courtyard) to the sound of passing helicopters, but soon they caught on. Timur Shah would ride his bike far away to use her cell phone so that he could not be tracked. And, most amazingly, she saw on television the rallies the widows were having for her release.   All of us at work signed big banners to be sent to her in Europe wishing her well. Although the worst was over, some of us will always remember what happened on May 16. Mark still feels guilty that he was dropped off first that night (a consultant in Kabul when it happened placed the blame squarely on Mark) and many people from my work feel terrible that it happened and they could not do anything about it. C says she wants to come back to Afghanistan, but her government will not let her, at least in the near term.   Now whenever I go out after dark, I am wary. Kidnappings still happen; one Nepali died in captivity not long ago after being abducted with a colleague at dawn in Kabul, and there have been several kidnappings and murders linked to the Taliban throughout the South since the beginning of the year. There is a fine line between living your life and playing it safe. While you won’t see me at the Coca Cabana [sic], the local “club”, anytime soon, I still have my share of nights getting drunk and playing pool at the Uzbek place or going out for dinner with friends. It’s a risk I have to take.
Confection

Confection

2
pink.owl's Blog
 

My Package Revision

quikslvr reorganized my packages to account for others donating to lighten my donation: Package #1Brisingamen, Dance of Death, Darkness, Hemlock, Les Fleurs du Mal, Nephilim, Wrath Package #2Aeval, Carnal, Hecate, Morocco, O, Red Queen, R'Lyeh Package #3Absinthe, Casanova, Dorian, Has No Hanna, Nocturne, Ra, Santo Domingo Package #4All Night Long, Hades, The Lion, Marquise Du Marteuil, Perversion, Santa Eularia Des Riu, Sin Package #5Belladonna, Delight, Incantation, Lampades, Maiden, Tamora Package #6Black Rose, De Sade, London, Lust, Nyx, Queen Of Sheba Package #7Dana O'Shee, Santa Muerte, Satyr, Thalia, Venice, Wilde
pink.owl

pink.owl

0
Squash Soup
 

bpal makes me do bad things.

You tell yourself that you won't do certain things. You draw the line and swear not to cross it. I learned, however, that some scents will cause me to throw all of my principles out the windown and turn me into a raving slobbering maniac bent on obtaining it at all costs. I don't know how else to justify paying 3X what an oil was originally worth. *sigh* Well, at least I will use and enjoy it. I did it all for the Underpants. Would you have done the same?   I'm still waiting patiently for my Dragon Moon order, t-shirt and oil! Well okay, not so patiently but I'm trying to restrain myself from checking my e-mail every 5 seconds. It's difficult but I'm managing.   And now I must do a little cleaning because I'm currently living in a pigsty. And I'm going to have a diet coke and think long and hard about what I've done........
jessiesquash

jessiesquash

0
HennaFairy's Blog
 

one more!

i lied. 3 more. (I came back later with these 2)       and one more again...         ok really. done now. i mean it. i'm going to bed!!!     also, i got my underpants today!!! eeeee!   i can't decide what i think about it. it is more foody/sweet than i'd like, but after the drydown, there are times i love it and times i think "eh". i'll wear it one more time, and share with eviltemptress and everyone at the meet & sniff, and i'll reconsider whether i want to keep it or not!   eta: i may keep an imp, but i am going to trade/sell the rest, eviltemptress and people at the meet & sniff have first dibs, and i have a buyer lined up for anything that's left over.
HennaFairy

HennaFairy

0
Denise's Cool Blog
 

I got THREE forum orders today!

Woot!! I got THREE packages today with BPAL!   Here is what I got:   from Beatrice33:   5ml Beltane ('05, i think?) neo-tokyo empyreal mist white rabbit tarot: the world FRIMP: ummm... I feel badly, because I opened all my three packs in a hurried excited way, and I'm not sure exactly who gave me what frimps! DUH. I believe this one came with a sample of Tranquilty oil from www.sonomascentstudio.com!   from aidenraine:   fae rosalind black dahlia FRIMP: I *think* this wass the one with a cute perfume sample included   from caramialove:   5ml Dirty (yay!!) FRIMPS: le serpent qui danse, titus andronicus, AND ahathoor!!   Someone of these three also gave me a sample of Lush shower gel, and someone else gave me an official BPAL postcard! I just wish I had thought about it when I opened everything. hehe. Just as long as all three know I appreciated it all, I should be A-Ok   So far, I know that I want a bottle of Empyreal Mist. I also know that White Rabbit made me gag a little. LOL.
eviltemptressdq

eviltemptressdq

0
This Old Snark
 

Snarky Screams, You Scream, We all Scream...

... for eye strain?     OK, that didn't work quite as well as Snarky had hoped, nor is it nearly as pleasant as ice cream. Nevertheless, she is suffering from ever compounding eye strain as she moves from eight hours in front of the computer (under fluorescent lights in "The Cracker Cave") to a few poorly light hours throwing things around/together/into boxes at the apartment, to a couple more hours in the waning gloom of evening working up close and personal with various nooks and cranies and surfaces of their soon-to-be kalidescopic domicile.   The peepers are pooped, folks.   Add to that the nocturnal goings on at Flat du Snark (Snarky is an equal opportunity mangler of all languages) in the form of feline gymnastics (Seriously, what is the deal with cardboard and plastic bags and the licking? Does it really taste that good?) and there is just no rest for the wicked winkers in the forseeable future.   While some more painting is on the docket for tonight's Chez Snark visitation, Snarky thinks she'll try to truncate the errand and convince The Mister that a break is in order in the form of the one-two punch of eye candy (24 and Grey's Anatomy season finale) and gelato.
darkitysnark

darkitysnark

2
Filling the Periodic Table
 

The last stages of burnout.

he exam is on wednesday. I am barreling full speed ahead towards it. Today I am at work (8 hours of distraction intended to save my sanity.) Tommorrow I'm home studying all day.   Overthe weekend, I spent each morning taking a 4 hour timed practice exam (Last May's test saturday morning, and last November's on sunday) Then the afternoons/evenings were spent working problems in areas I was weak on. Tonight, I will be doing more of the same. Tommorrow is the last all-day push to make sure I have firmly memorized everything that needs memorization. No theory, just drilling myself over and over on all of the equations.   So yeah, I am barreling headlong towards burnout. It's a race against the clock at this point. I am already looking up chiropracters to make an apointment for next week to try and undo some of the damage from spending 2 months hunched over a desk. This morning, I woke up with such a pain in my neck that I had to pick my perfume this morning that wouldn't conflict with the smell of the IcyHot I had rubbed into the entier back of my neck and shoulders. I went with Lick It. It definately smoother out the sharpness of the menthol in the IcyHot. There's a layering combination you don't hear about often.   And my parents are coming into town on Friday. The apartment is in shambles, so wednesday after the exam, I will be cleaning like *mad*. Actually, I suspect it won't be that bad. I'm planning on getting a handful of big rubbermaid containers to pack up with winter clothing, spare bedding, etc. and put on the top shelves in the closets. I don't think the problem is so much mess as this apartment has kinda crappy closets, so storage has been a problem. Once I organize that, I think the rest of it will just be vacuuming, laundry and a little thoughtful aranging. Which isn't nothing, but it's not insurmountable.   Rusty was supposed to be cleaning house this weekend, but #1) his standards of what constitutes "clean" are a lot lower than mine, and #2) he hasn't developed that skill of breaking down big tasks into smaller, manageable components, so to him it *does* seem insurmountable. It's irritating, but I've pretty much given up on the idea that he will ever wake up in the morning with a burning desire to keep the house clean and organized.   I'll be putting off planting the balcony garden until the weekend, since there won't be time for both cleaning and planting on wednesday.   So this is what burnout looks like : mild panic, physical pain, and distracting myself in daydreams of cleaning house. Wow - so miserable, yet so banal.
antimony

antimony

4
Fishnets and Frankincense
 

Self control: Gone, gone, gone!

I was planning to not order any BPAL this month and now, at the ides of May, I am considering what could almost be classified as a rather large order. Self control: gone, gone, gone!!   I want to order Litha, because the honey mead and honeysuckle elements can not be resisted. I also need a 10 ml of O, because I use it almost like I breathe air. Then, yesterday, I decided to test Kumiho again and I believe I must have a bottle. I am also terribly intrigued by Baobhan Sith; it sounds like it could be a winner. I love grapefruity scents. When it gets totally hot and steamy in July and August, I know I won't be wearing Smut as an everyday scent. I need my options. And there are my rationalizations.   I can be pretty cheeky in my lack of concern about "appropriate" daytime workplace scents. In interest of juxtapositions, it's kind of fun to wear "business appropriate" clothing and a smoldering scent. Hee hee.   I get my hair done on Wednesday, and I can hardly wait. Last visit, I told the most wonderful Brandi not to cut very much off the bottom. She complied with my wishes, but suggested that next time, it might be a good idea to neaten up the edges. She's no fool; she knew it would grow so much and get so freaking long that it would be driving me nuts by now. We're planning to put some more blonde highlights in it just to add to that summery kissed-by-the-sun look.   Speaking of the sun, maybe I'm attracted to the scent Baobhan Sith because they were the "ghostly white women of the Scottish highlands" and I'm part Scottish and I'm just about that white. This weekend, I purchased some of the tanning body lotion and it's helping. I'm not looking to become the San Tropez tan girl, but it would be nice not to have legs that look like a couple of glo-sticks heading your way.   Today's BPAL: Smut and O (aka Smut-O-Rama) Today's underwear: Tangerine bra and bikinis with a retro tattoo design print Today's music in the CD player in my car: "Polaroids" by Shawn Colvin
valentina

valentina

3
Denise's Cool Blog
 

I'm getting out of control!

sacred_poetry had 11 imps (and one freebie to sniff) listed for the bargain price of 20 bucks! So, well, i bought it. None were even on my wishlist! I just wanted it, and figured i could easily resell or swap out anything I didn't like Here is the list:   Smut Pumpkin Patch #1 Mistletoe Lick it Thunderbird Nosferatu, Jabberwocky Danse Macabre Faustus Carnal Villain Stardust (empty sniffie)   I'm excited! I like trying new things, because I guess I never know what I'll end up liking
eviltemptressdq

eviltemptressdq

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Fishnets and Frankincense
 

Musings

Tonight I'm going to my home town (a small town an hour and half away) to put in my appearance at a post-Mother's Day mother-daughter dinner at the care center where my mother lives. My mother has Alzheimer's disease and while she's still coherent enough, she typically thinks she's still a teacher in a school, only this one is a boarding school. Hey, whatever works.   I'm the youngest of three kids -- my brother is 12 years old and my sister is 10 years older. My brother used to call me Boo-Boo when I was a little kid, probably derived from the Yogi Bear cartoons, but also a pretty apt descriptor of my appearance on the scene. Somewhere in between the birth of my siblings and my birth, my mother really, really changed. My memories of my mother are more akin to my nieces (the oldest being 12 years younger than me) than my brother's or sister's. And they're not especially pleasant. When my mother started showing signs of dementia, I thought she was getting abruptly nicer; my brother and sister thought she was getting meaner.   So when I tell people that my mother has Alzheimer's and they say they're sorry, I tell them thank you, but it's OK. It's a tragedy for my mother, of course, and for my siblings. For me, it's watching someone who never especially liked me leave and be replaced by someone who doesn't mind my existence. Of course, it would have been so much better for her to have retained her brain functions, and simply have come to terms with the demons that I represented. But it didn't work out that way.   I think a lot of her anger towards me was due to my "Boo-Boo" status and the fact that I had the audacity to represent the gene pool on my father's side of the family. I was also very close to my maternal grandmother when she was alive, and I think there was also a certain jealousy there -- my mother didn't want to share her mother with anyone, much less me. My paternal grandmother died when I was about 3 or 4, and I barely remember her. No one really talked about her that much, even my father. But with my mother's loss of short-term memory, she talks a lot about the things still stored in her brain. I've found out a lot about my paternal grandmother's personality as a result of those little memory fragments, and my internal reaction is typically: "Oh, that's where that came from..." Meaning, those elements in my personality that seem rather foreign when taken in context to my siblings.   Ah, so I looked like my father's rogue uncles (that's another story), I was her mother's favorite grandchild and she had to watch her mother-in-law's personality bubble up out of me. It was probably too much for her to take. Not that it excuses how she treated me, but obviously she was too angry about too many things that I embodied.   I'll never know her reasons for being so angry -- part of the rules of my family were to not talk about feelings or ugly behaviors. Disassociation rules the day, and I've learned that it's a waste of breath to try to force issues. And over the years, and with a lot of help, I've developed equanimity around the matter. It was my only choice, really, in order to break the cycle of anger and lashing out.   As a friend of mine once said, we all need family, but they need not be our relatives.   It will be a nice day for a quiet drive, a little visit, and then a drive home. My mother won't remember yesterday was Mother's Day, but she will be happy to see me, happy to get attention, happy to get the teddy bear that I'll give her (for that is the level she's at), and happy to see me leave. And I'll feel the same way, although in so many ways, I left the family a long time ago.
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