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BPAL Madness!
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About this blog

perfume-related ramblings that can't go anywhere else because I'd bore the pants off anyone reading

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Nobody reads this blog (thank god)

which is why I feel okay about posting in here. I'm getting scared of my own disinterest. The only thing I seem to have any enthusiasm for these days is my perfume collection! Yes, all right, BPAL is wonderful and blahdy blah, but I know why it's become such an obsession for me: because right now, there isn't anything else. and that's terrifying. There is nothing else I can muster the energy to care about or do. I can barely even speak to my girlfriend, although her gorgeous self is present in my thoughts. I thought leaving university would make the apathy better. It hasn't. Maybe I'm being impatient? I've been home a week... It's not as though there's some magic wand to wave to make everything fine. But I hate this. I can't care about anything, and I'm just unhappy.
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I tend to go a little overboard

with scents I like. Or, uhm, *think* I'll like. Or just get a weird hankering after, and decide for no logical reason that I'll adore.   This is how it tends to go: I get curious about a scent, whether I just see a decant of it pop up or for some reason I like the name that day. I skim the reviews. I read the reviews. I re-read the reviews. I snap up the first decant of it I see. I re-read the reviews, decide I love it, and hunt down as much as I can find. I get the first decant, and try it on. It's oooo-kay. I have five more coming. Great.   This is how I got so much Snowblind. Everyone was all "oooh! Snowblind!" and I tried it and it was... meh.   I just really, reallly hope I like Havisham. Because I swapped 2 decant sof Passion and 2mL of Snow Angel for the bottle I have a-coming in the mail...
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Also...

...over the last few days I have scored four decants of Dark Delicacies, a bottle of Hope (shipped!) for the price of a GC, imps of King and Queen of Diamonds, and an imp of Chaste Moon which through the magic of swapping I hope to turn into an imp of Ingenue.       ___   ON BUYING THINGS TO SWAP 'EM: This is not a black-and-white issue. Buying stuff for the purpose of swapping it away for rare decants is frowned upon by many in the BPAL community, and I can sort of understand why: we're all here because we have a strong and sentimental attachment to our smellies, so if you don't actually want it for what it is, let someone who truly loves it have the scent. I can understand that perspective, and I guess if I was giving up something I loved 'cause I needed the $$, at the end of the day I'd rather it go to someone who would appreciate it rather than just want it for its value. But also, a couple of things: -once you sell something, it's out ofyour hands. Your attachment to that item has ended, and with it your right to make moral judgments about how it's used. Whatever-it-is is no longer yours. let it go. -As a n00b, it's really hard to see people raving about all these great rare scents, and then not being able to try them because they're only up for swap for things of "equally rare value". You _have_ to start with purchasing, and the easiest way to break into the rares market is to buy something to trade. Sometimes what comes up for sale isn't what you want at the end of the day; but then again, sometimes you bring home an imp you intended to just swap away, and find a new love. -buying things to swap is actually pretty utilitarian. Picture this: you have four people, A; B; C; and D (shut up, it's late I'm not imaginative). A has a decant of Voodoo Queen that she is selling. B has a decant of Storyville that she will only swap for Voodoo Queen or Lugh. C has wanted to try Storyville for ages, but she doesn't have Voodoo QUeen (and she def. doesn't have lugh). D really loves Voodoo Queen (but in order to know that, s/he would need to have enough to test --> probably has a decant already). If D buys the decant of Voodoo Queen, two people are happy: A and D. A has gotten $ for it, and D has more of what she already tested and knows she likes. This has no effect on B, but C still can't even access storyville. If C buys the decant of Voodoo Queen, three people are happy: A, B and C. A has gotten the $ that she would've gotten anyway. C now has access to something she really wants (Storyville; and in the process got to test Voodoo Queen) and B has something she really wants. D isn't happy, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. Purchasing decants to swap is, from a utilitarian perspective, a pretty good idea. More people get what they want out of the market -- where's the harm in that?   it's like the idea of "too much profit". No such thing. If Beth wants to spend her $$ on a Lamborghini, I don't care, although since oil prices will have increased I'll probably be able to buy less perfoom. Which, in the end, might actually be a good thing for my pocketbook. How do you like fast Italian cars, Beth?
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Sooo muuuch LFV (and removing my head from my ass)

The process of extracting my head from my butt has been long and arduous, but I think I've made progress. I almost let _perfume_ damage a friendship with someone I care about. I'm such an idiot. :/ I sincerely hope i haven't fundamentally changed our relationship for the worse... although I guess now she's seen what a selfish tard I can be. Um, yay honesty. I'd write about that more, but I can just say it in person. GOD I'm such an idiot.   In other news, we have lockets! I'm wearing my Brimstone locket right now, and h_f's gorgeous White Rabbit locket is sitting in its little velvet pouch on my bathroom counter. At first I looked at mine and thought O.o damn that's big -- but surprisingly, given that I usually don' tlike large jewellery, I'm very fond of it. It's quite elegant, and when strung on a ribbon is a lovely simple statement piece. I'm wearing it with LFV inside right now.   Speaking of, I nabbed some more La Fee Verte. Okay, I think I have enough of it now. Srsly. Three decants, three bottles and two more bottles on the way (four of those bottles are partials, but even so -- about 40mL). I have enough of it to last me a lifetime, which is exactly what I intended. I also have a total of seven decants of Dark Delicacies. No more of that one, either.   I've built up enough stuff-to-swap that if I'm really hankering for anything, I have a chance of finding it -- some SNs, some unreleased blends, Passion. I need to get more Green Tree Viper before it goes down, and perhaps bottles of Brisingamen and banded Sea Snake... but other than that, I think I'm done.     ...Oh God, I'm _so_ not done. Maybe I should just stop trying to convince myself.   Finished Season II of House. I need more House! Whyyyy?
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Rotting Wedding Flowers = love

((inhales wrist deeply)) mmmmm....   I think I'd sell a kidney for more Havisham. My love affair with icy, snowy florals is official.   Purchasing Plans: -2 bottles of Blue Moon, when it comes out -a bottle of Milk Moon, when it comes out (depending on what else is in it...) -the Cancer astrological blend, when it comes out -some Brisingamen with my next order -some Tarot: The Hermit when I have the cash lying around   So far we're looking at (est. $17.50 for LE's) $113.50 without shipping. And that's only the ones I *know* I'm buying.
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Shuuuuuubbbb...

Someone frimped me a sample of Shub soap. I just bathed with it, and I am sooooo glad I have a bottle of gingery Shub-Niggurath-y goodness coming my way.   Also, Bruja is divine. I have half a bottle and it's not a MAD QUEST FOR MORE scent like Ingenue... but of course, another DC I had to fall for. :/ Ah well.   Mom fell in love with The Ghost -- I gave her a frimp of it and she wants a bottle. And there's probably going to be an April fool's blend when Milk Moon goes live. So the Milk Moon order is looking like this:   -1 bottle Milk Moon ($17.50) -1 bottle Therianthropic (?) ($17.50) -1 bottle The Ghost ($15) -1 bottle April Fool's blend ($17.50)   Sheila Ross also fell in love with my Brimstone locket! So we're getting her a Phoenix locket for her birthday, which has passed. I think I may slip some soaps in with that order...
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Running out the door, but...

Snow Bunny = teh SEX.   I may need another partial bottle to make up one full bottle. I like it better than I like Snow White... it reminds me a lot of Snow Angel, actually, which is a good Now I'm just trying to convince myself /not/ to try Black Moon... even though I'm pretty sure I'll like it, Dark Delicacies fits in the same niche, and I already have a bottle and 7 (yes, seven) decants of that one coming.   Mouse's Long and Sad Tale is okay. It dries down to a pleasant sweet vanilla-amber-sandalwood that reminds me a bit of Underpants, only cuter and nicer. I may keep the bottle.   RUNNING TO h_f's PLACE!
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The Next Order

m'akay, here's how the next order is shaping up:   Milk Moon April Fool's Blend [$35] The Ghost [$50] Tarot: The Hermit [$76.50]   April 1, I can/not/ wait for you to get here...   I'll ignore Rose Moon, so I should be safe next month (:S) but my beginning-of-June order is gonna start like this:   2xBlue Moon [$35] Brisingamen [$50]     oh yeah, and I totally caved. Got a partial bottle of Black Moon. :/
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Ammo Boxes

My ammo boxes came today. I have four 50-count green ammo boxes and I'm trying to decide how to sort my imps into them... one box is reserved for intent blends (voodoo, celestials, tarot, sephiroth [if I ever get any], panacea, and of course TAL) and one box is reserved for favourites/multiple imps, but I'm not sure what to do with the rest of them. Oh well... I'll figure it out   Also, the imp-to-bottle ratio sucks. five imps (admittedly, 2 were partially empty so really about 4.5 imps) make up about 3/4 of a bottle. 4.5 imps = 0.75 bottles, so we're looking at 6 imps to the bottle. Some decanters say they get 7 imps to the bottle. ((glum)) Oh well... at least I have the equivalent of two bottles of DD. Orchid-scented deliciousness, apply here.
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can't sleep, time to ramble

It's funny: Ice Queen, the scent that spawned my love affair with BPAL's snowy/icy blends, is actually the one of them I like least now.   I still enjoy it, don't get me wrong. It's beautiful, but it's just a little too sharp/hard for me: the white musks are just slightly too prominent, it's just -- well, "too hard" is the only way I can describe it. I have low hopes for Skadi, because it seems that Skadi is Ice Queen but slightly /harder/. Guh.   I'm avoiding Frost Moon (eucalyptus smells like armpit funk on me) and Cold Moon/Snow Moon just don't seem worth hunting down. I've tried Ice Queen, Snow White, Snow Bunny, Snow Angel, and Havisham, and I have a bottle of Skadi coming my way. Of those, Snow White I have realised must go -- while she's lovely, she's just too sweet for me, and there's something slightly too aquatic about the scent for me to be comfortable. Part of it is the coconut, but there's this strange milky non-sugar sweetness to it that (while it's nice) I find ultimatel off-putting. and there's no sense in sitting on two bottles of something so sought-after if I'm not gonna love them. Weirdly, I like Snow Bunny much better than I like Snow White -- the Bunny has all of the good things about Snow White, combined with some of the powdersugar perk of Snow Angel. Honestly, while I like Snow Angel (especially on the drydown) I think I might like Snow Bunny better! But Shhh, don't speak loudly of my sacrilege.   Havisham is, of course, achingly beautiful: a strange-yet-classic frosty aquatic rose, not a scent to wear every day but a scent to cherish. I'm almost glad I have so little of it -- peversely, it'll stop me taking it for granted, something I feel like I do with my GC loves Perversion and Brisingamen. (Incidentally, I need to learn to stop reviewing scents the first time I wear them: I'm usually too enraptured by their loveliness to step back and see how they /compare/ to things I already like/dislike. Thus my reviews all tend to be gushy, even though I only like some of what I've got.)
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At the End of the day

I don't like having a lot of bottles sitting around not getting any affection. I also don't like not having bottles of stuff I know I /do/ love -- like tarot: The Hermit, and Brisingamen, and Perversion. I do like being identifiable by scent, so here's the short list of what's staying, what needs to come in and what I know eventually has to go:   STAYING Havisham La Fee Verte [signature... when it's not that time of the month] Snow Bunny [dance/saturdays/special-but-not-Going-Out stuff] Shub-Niggurath [winter comfort scent] Perversion --> NEED BOTTLE [Jon] Brisingamen --> NEED BOTTLE [work/professional scent] Tarot: The Hermit --> NEED BOTTLE [studying/focus/divination/introspection scent] Monster Bait: Closet [come-smex-me scent -- could use another bottle] Dark Delicacies   GOING The Ecstasy of Passion The Ecstasy of True Love Spooky Snow White Skadi Ice Queen Trick #2 Devil's Night 05 [ach! How I wish I wore this more! it's beautiful... I just don't reach for it much :/] Bitter Moon Pink Moon 2005 Buck Moon Milk Moon Beaver Moon Stardust 05 Spanked Snowblind Cinnamon SN Siberian Musk SN   EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED Vieux Carre Bruja Ingenue Brides of Dracula Gypsy Queen   MUST TRY Black Moon -- even though it's the same niche as Dark Delicacies, which I looove too much to ever give up Storyville -- I have a weird feeling I'd like it. Yes, even though I've tried it. don't ask me why, I just go with my little hunches... Boomslang -- what can I say, i'm hopeful!   MUST BUY Tarot: The Hermit/Brisingamen/Perversion Blue Moon Cancer astrological blend April Fool's blend, whatever it is
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I just bought more stuff :/

Yeah, so I just bought a partial of Mabon and a 10mL of Lex Talionis on ebay. In my defence, the prices were all right given the content (Mabon was a little expensive, I probably should've actually read the auction info...) Lex is a gift for Ian, because I feel a little guilty about realising that I'm keeping "his" bottle of Schwarzer. (He'd better like Lex, because he's got a damn huge bottle coming.) Mabon I just wanted to try, but not enough to actively hunt down an imp.. then this half-full bottle appeared in front of me, and I leapt.   I'll wait until all the bottles I have coming are here, sniff through them all, live with them for a bit, then do a massive destashing. I think I'll email Jocosa about Ice Queen... I'm thrilled to have gotten to try as much as I have, and there are one or two bottles I still have my eye on (most notably some Havisham up on Ebay) but once all this has been gone through I think I'll stick to a small stash of fragrances. Still want to try Black Moon, but other than that... eh.
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Prices are up...

...and normally I don't care who spends money on what. But lately I've been noticing a trend in some parts of BPAL fandom -- prices are on the rise, in a huge way. This always happens to a certain extent between updates, but I've seen a couple of bottles go for amounts that really make me raise my eyebrows, if only because I can't compete with that kind of cash. I throw around a lot of money -- aside from Starbuck's, my BPAL collection is basically the only thing I spend my spare cash /on/ -- but I can't compete with some of this, and it's making me blue.   Storyville -- $140 for a full 5mL Queen of Spades -- $113 for a 60% full 5mL   these are just two that I remember off the top of my head. I feel very lucky to have managed a swap for an imp of Storyville, and so I'm content; I just hope that this increase in prices isn't going to continue and become 'normal'. I have enough of a problem keeping cash as it is... this'll either make me totally broke, or make me break my habit.
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I feel gross

and so you know what I did? I went upstairs, put my wrist to my bottle of Shub, and upended the thing. Then I proceeded to smear the resulting puddle of lemonginger goodness all over my forearms, my neck, my temples and the extra got rubbed onto my hips.   That is the first time I have /ever/ upended a bottle onto my skin -- I almost alllways take from the cap, and not more than one little droplet. I smell like ginger. The whole HOUSE smells like ginger. and you know what? I totally do not care.   It is just /that bad/ of a day.   Now I'm going to drink some tea and watch House MD until I run out of episodes. House's snarkitude will make everything better (if that man wore BPAL, he would wear Shub. I know it).
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Monster Bait: biggerCritters... and nightmares

I'm excited about MB: biggerCritters, and I'm contemplating purchasing a critter just to get the bottle with the Speshul label. I'm doing this mostly because I had horrible nightmares last night. I can't remember most of them but what I can remember was horrible -- my worst fears, oozing out of my subconscious to get me. Not monsters or the supernatural... being abandoned by the people I care about, and knowing I deserved it.   I'm so glad I'm awake. It wasn't a good night.     [small]I dreamed, among other things, that Hannah didn't care about me any more... that was horrible. Some of the taint of that is still sitting in my mind.[/small]
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I just made monies for the update :D

and bought some partial (very, very partial) bottles at better-than-reasonable prices, but those cost $10 which is what I made off of one decant of Spooky so that's no big deal So far I've made $56, and I hope to make a little more. All of it is going towards the update on the 13th.   I'll probably ship it to Amy's address, and as such I might even combine orders with her -- she wants a 5mL of Kyoto and an imp pack! Yessss, another enablee, although I suspect this is more out of indulgence for me than true obsession. Either way, it spreads the love. You can't get much for $56, especially considering shipping... but Mom will be wiring some money into my account to buy Sheila a scent locket [she saw mine and was /instantly/ taken with it] and so I'll just ask her for a couple of dollars extra to round out my shipping costs -- shouldn't be too hard. The update is probably going to be full of shinies, at least that's what's buzzing and bumbling on the fora... and given Beth's hints, the slow boil seems warranted There's not much I'm craving right now, other than 5mL's of The Hermit and Brisingamen, but those can be laid aside if the 13th offers up some particularly tasty morsels.   Oh, and I'm on Zoloft again! Yaaay! And Amy might (/might/) be coming down for the 28th of April :(
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$$:wub2:

So far I have made $120 from sales Unfortunately I did sell a half-bottle of my beloved La Fee Verte... but considering I have the equivalent of 6 5mL's (between partials and decants) and considering that I have never even gone through an imp, I think it's okay.   I wore LFV today and was reminded of why I love it the way I do I keep getting whiffs of this glorious sweet lightly-herbal creaminess before realising that it's coming from my cleavage   Unless something comes up, the $$ from my sales will be saved for updates.. the coming update, and then the Blue Moon update. I'm going to need at least two bottles of Blue Moon if it's anything like hte last formulation, which sounds /right/ up my alley   h_f is gallivanting around London, going to parties and getting drunk on cheap whisky (shame! go for the expensive stuff.) I am jealous, abit, but mostly I wish she was back here because I miss her!   Oh yeah, and I found some Unseelie. One decant, but that should be fine. No matter how lovely it is, I'm sure it won't be enough to displace my favourites and so I won't need more.
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more dreams

I just had a nap -- an unintentional nap -- and dreamt that Vic came back, was around, said hi. I dreamt that we hung out for a while (I think Vanessa brought her over) and that it was kind of awkward but that she actually explained why she'd disappeared. Why is my subconscious throwing /that/ at me while I sleep?   weird.
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The Ex who Couldn't Let Go

^_- riiight.   Opened my PR journal today. Latest read: [username of my girl's ex-girlfriend]. This is the third or fourth time.   I can understand being curious. But especially since /she/ dumped /Amy/, it's getting a little odd.
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hah! another enablee!

The Girlfriend placed an order! All by herself!   two 5mL's and an imp pack. I'm so proud...     I am evil itself.
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I was in a Snake Charmer mood today

They don't come often, when I feel like SC. It's a powerful blend, and I don't wear it much at all -- it's not my usual sort of smell, so I have to be in the mood. Although SC is a very ladylike, /very/ sexy scent, because it's also a dark and a heady scent it also seems a bit rebellious to me -- for wear on days when I feel like not being my usual blonde self, when I feel like schlumping around in dark jeans and my rhinestone tiger hoodie, burying myself in a book, and generally absenting myself from the normal interacting world. If Shub is my comfort scent -- like a soft cashmere blanket on a cold day -- Snake Charmer is my push-off scent, something that means I've decided to step outside the world of normal human interaction, whether by being vampy or aggressive or sulky or bookish.   today was definately a Snake Charmer day.
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I want to dress like a girl!

In Michigan I found this beautiful frilly pink dress. It's foofy and lacy and has puffed sleeves, and looks like it was made for a five-year-old and then scaled up with room for a bosom. I love it. I pranced around the store for a good fifteen minutes, trying on shoes and wasting time because I didn't want to get out of the pretty dress. I love looking like a girl.   But I wear jeans all the time. I don't mind jeans, there's nothing wrong with them. But I have lots of gorgeous skirts and dresses. I wear jeans all the time because to dress like a girl is to attract notice, and I don't want to attract notice.   Tomorrow I am going to dress like a girl. I will be uncomfortable, because even if people aren't looking at me, I'll feel like people are looking at me. I will feel weird. And I will make myself do this every day until either I get acclimated or I don't secretly want to do it anymore, as uncomfortable as it sometimes makes me.   I am also going to learn to do my hair! Because given the price of my dye jobs, putting it in a ponytail just doesn't cut it!
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Nightmares. Again.

I've gone through my whole life without nightmares. Why now?   Tonight's were strange. That I can remember... there was one where I was in the company of a young boy whom I thought was a serial killer, and I had to get away without making himsuspicious, and it was in the middle of nowhere and Sophia wasn't pickin gup her phone. There was a part where someone shut a girl's face in a waffle iron - a blistering-hot, plugged in waffle iron. There had been steam coming out of the device before, but as it covered her face and she struggled to get it off the steam turned red... it sounds comical now, but it was really horrible. I wanted to wake up.   The earlier one, that I remember less, was one where the world had gone strange... I remember that /I/ had been in another world, a through-the-looking-glass type of experience, and as frightening as that world was I had to go back there, it was my job to fix something. (And for me, th way that I could get back into the world was to drink a cup of tea -- Green tea, said the man with the fingers, was the easy way. Black tea was the respected way. Red tea wasn't spoken about, but it was clear that there were three options, so red tea must have been the third) I rode the bus (yes, there was a bus) from the other world into this one, intending not to stay long. I wasn't supposed to stay long, but then I thought, what if I got some supplies? Flashlights, batteries, stuff I could use. And I had to get back, but I think I decided to get some supplies. The world-that-is-this-world was strange, it was dark... and I was walking through an aboveground tunnel, made of brick I remember, and I was a little scared because it was after dark and the tunnel was small and I'd never really liked them anyway. There were people around me -- not many, there were two people ahead of me and some people behind. And I remember I was a little scared as a young girl, of the man ahead of me.. but then, the young couple behind me just sat down. They just sat down cross-legged in the tunnel, as though they couldn't go any farther. And after a few steps, so did the man in front of me -- this tough guy in a leather jacket -- just sat down too, like he'd given up. I went a few metres farther, out of their sight and round a curve, an then I sat down too, more because I was tired than anything, and some people from university (Leo and Elyssa and I think Boyce) came through the tunnels. They were talking about someone, someone dangerous -- a practical joker gone too far. I asked them what was going on, and the said that all of a sudden the world had gone strange, dark and dangerous. I asked them why everyone was just sittin down, and Elyssa said, "They've givenup -- they don't know how to deal with this world. The tunnels are full of them." And I asked what the current danger was, who they were running from, and Elyssa and Leo exchanged a look, and Elyssa said "Well -- it's cats."   And then I woke up.
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Things I would kill to have rezzed

INGENUE -- I'd buy three or four bottles of the stuff, and all of them Unseelie -- everything I've heard suggests that it's shockingly beautiful. It sounds like my kind of wispy, ethereal floral-with-character. Hopehopehope...
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Well, my imp box is getting full...

so I guess it's a good thing that I'm not crazy about this update. While I'm eager to /try/ all three, and am prepared for the possibility that I might like any of them, none of them are scents I can't live without. Although admittedly I have a good feeling about this version of 13. I don't know why, because it has The Dreaded White Chocolate in it... but I've just got a feeling.   there are only three spaces left in my "A" imp box, or will be when all of my scents arrive. My two Queen of Diamonds decants will be moved to their bottle and King of Diamonds will probably be swapped, filling up space that will be swiftly occupied by my shortie of Havisham. My "B" box is for blends to sell or swap, and my "C" box is intent blends. I need to start consolidating my collection... unfortunately, i'm emotionally attached to rather a lot of it. Which is absurd, given how many scents I have and how slowly I go through them.   And I still need to buy 5mL's of Tarot: The Hermit and Brisingamen! Tarot: The Hermit especially is one I see using a lot of next year, for quiet study and reflection.   On the up side, Snow Moon is lovely. I swapped my 5mL of Bitter Moon for it (as lovely as Bitter Moon is, the imp will suffice, I think -- I just wasn't wearing it that much :/) and I don't regret it. snow Moon is like all the parts I liked about Snow White, minus the parts that I didn't -- the watery coconut sweetness that drove me into headaches if I wore it for too long. Snow Moon is also a less-musky dead ringer for Ice Queen, which is good because I can wear it without feeling guilty about the cost of today's parfoom   I have decided to keep Snake Charmer. I have so many snowy icy scents that as nice as Snow White 2004 is, I'm only a little sorry to see my 5mL go, and I /like/ Snake Charmer. It stays.
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