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BPAL Madness!
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About this blog

perfume-related ramblings that can't go anywhere else because I'd bore the pants off anyone reading

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hah! another enablee!

The Girlfriend placed an order! All by herself!   two 5mL's and an imp pack. I'm so proud...     I am evil itself.
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The Next Order

m'akay, here's how the next order is shaping up:   Milk Moon April Fool's Blend [$35] The Ghost [$50] Tarot: The Hermit [$76.50]   April 1, I can/not/ wait for you to get here...   I'll ignore Rose Moon, so I should be safe next month (:S) but my beginning-of-June order is gonna start like this:   2xBlue Moon [$35] Brisingamen [$50]     oh yeah, and I totally caved. Got a partial bottle of Black Moon. :/
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Okay, that was weird.

I had a very strange reaction to something. Whether it was the fact that the stupid pharmacy gave me generic medication even when I wasn't prescribed generics (for those of us who are hypersensitive, yes, it doesmatter!) or something strange that my brain has been sitting on for a while -- yesterday I was terrified. Just generally. Terrified of getting raped walking from the cab to the side door in the dark, terrified that someone would break into the house while I was there all alone, and (curse my active imagination) terrified of SOMETHING being in the dark waiting to get me. I am not a superstitious person, but my imagination managed to conjure up more ghouls lurking in corners or squatting under my bed or peering beneath my door that when I woke up at 4AM and had to pee, I couldn't get back to sleep.   It's hilarious now, but then, it was just -- scarily unlike me. Especially because the rational part of my brain was in overdrive the whole time telling stupid-me to stop being so ridiculous.   Thank God for my kitty. she slept beside me all night -- n ot just on my bed, but pressed up against my leg, a warm comforting presence. after forty minutes of the-house-is-scarily-silent mute unreasonable terror, I finally got back to sleep.   I woke up twice last night. I remember dreaming but don't remember what I dreamed.
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more dreams

I just had a nap -- an unintentional nap -- and dreamt that Vic came back, was around, said hi. I dreamt that we hung out for a while (I think Vanessa brought her over) and that it was kind of awkward but that she actually explained why she'd disappeared. Why is my subconscious throwing /that/ at me while I sleep?   weird.
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Two Orders

Two Orders BLUE MOON -- in Early June   2x5mL Blue Moon $40 1x10mL Tarot: The Hermit $26.50 [$66.50] 1x5mL Brisingamen $15 [$81.50] s/h $7 [$88.50]   JULY -- in Early June   1x5mL Cancer $20 1x5mL /July Moon/ $20 [$40] 1x5mL Boomslang $18 [$58] 1x5mL Moxie $26.50 [$84.50] s/h $9 [$93.50]     I have some saving to do
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Another (bad) dream...

although this one was more strange than bad.   This one was a bit hard to wake up from. I thought it was real for at least ten seconds after awakening, which is unlike me. I was me, and I still had a single mother -- but she wasn't like my mother at all. She was more like Isaac Meister's mother if Isaac's Mom was kind of vampy. My mother was five-foot-nine-and-a-half, had gorgeous feathery long brown hair, wore lipstick every day, always looked put-together, and hit on my boyfriend. SHe still had the same control issues though. In my dream, I was still dating Amy, and she still lived in MIchigan; but I was kind of seeing this fellow Dave (who doesn't seem to have a real-life analogue) who liked me but was also obviously attracted to my mother, who encouraged his attentions. I was worried that Dave was going to get the wrong idea, that he'd think we could date and have a relationship and all those things when according to Amy-rules, all I'm allowed to do is kiss him when she's not in the province (groping or clothing-removal counting as cheating -- these are the actual rules, by the way. so far I haven't exercised the privilege). In my dream, Dave and I had dinner plans for tonight, but because of Amy-stuff I was thinking about cancelling so Dave didn't get the wrong idea... and I coudl tell that my Mother was thinking of replacing me at hte dinner table...   it was /very/ strange. :/
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$$$

Cash: $15 Cdn CIBC Debit: $25-35 Cdn (?)   Citizens' Debit: $90 USD PayPal: $47.75 USD   OWING -$40.75 USD -- Ebay seller -$10.55 USD -- decants -$22 USD -- Fee -$17 USD -- Hunter Moon etc. =Citizens' Debit: ~$50   -$40 Cdn -- April rave tickets (Daniel) CIBC Debit: $0-$10   I can do this. Not easily, but I can do this   ____ MAY Citizens' Debit: $50 USD   CIBC Debit: $80 Cdn   Rave Tickets -$5 Cdn -- Cheap and Fun -$20 Cdn -- We're Old Skool -$20 (?) Cdn -- Funky Fresh -$20 (?) Cdn -- The Massacre =CIBC Debit: $15 Cdn     ...and I'll still need to sell off some stuff in time for June/July :S
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I feel gross

and so you know what I did? I went upstairs, put my wrist to my bottle of Shub, and upended the thing. Then I proceeded to smear the resulting puddle of lemonginger goodness all over my forearms, my neck, my temples and the extra got rubbed onto my hips.   That is the first time I have /ever/ upended a bottle onto my skin -- I almost alllways take from the cap, and not more than one little droplet. I smell like ginger. The whole HOUSE smells like ginger. and you know what? I totally do not care.   It is just /that bad/ of a day.   Now I'm going to drink some tea and watch House MD until I run out of episodes. House's snarkitude will make everything better (if that man wore BPAL, he would wear Shub. I know it).
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The Ex who Couldn't Let Go

^_- riiight.   Opened my PR journal today. Latest read: [username of my girl's ex-girlfriend]. This is the third or fourth time.   I can understand being curious. But especially since /she/ dumped /Amy/, it's getting a little odd.
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Just checked my reads count...

Entries: 33 Reads: 282       those can't /all/ be me and h_f. I guess it never seriously occurred to me that anyone would ever flip through this.   ah well. I'll continue as I used to, treating it as a dumping-pit for my vapidity.
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Ammo Boxes (and gloating)

I just nabbed 4 50-slot ammo boxes off a hunting store online. The total with shipping to Canada was $13.74, which I feel is acceptable (even though the cost for the boxes themselves was $3.49 0.o) -- that's about $4.50 per box, which isn't insane, although it's a bit more than I'd like. Perhaps I'll swap two of them away for some imps -- I only have 50-some-odd imp/decants anyway, and some of those are going in bottles.   Havisham (1 imp) and Ice Queen (4 imps) are going into the bottles I've found for them -- that's 5 of my 57 decants taken care of. I'll likely swap away some of my GC's, and I already know I hate Tarot: The Star (unfortunately). There'll be a whole row of 5 slots for my precious Ingenue, likewise for my Dark Delicacies decants. I can probably just save time and keep my swapping imps in one box. Or maybe I'll use one box for my intent blends -- like my voodoo blends and TALs...   I'm so excited! I love getting new stuff, especially new ways to arrange my scents. Now I just need an adequate box for my bottles... as in, one that can fit 10mL's as well :/ I have four (and they're alllll La Fee Verte.)   Now I'm feeling that lovely gloating that goes along with possessing things one loves.
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Prices are up...

...and normally I don't care who spends money on what. But lately I've been noticing a trend in some parts of BPAL fandom -- prices are on the rise, in a huge way. This always happens to a certain extent between updates, but I've seen a couple of bottles go for amounts that really make me raise my eyebrows, if only because I can't compete with that kind of cash. I throw around a lot of money -- aside from Starbuck's, my BPAL collection is basically the only thing I spend my spare cash /on/ -- but I can't compete with some of this, and it's making me blue.   Storyville -- $140 for a full 5mL Queen of Spades -- $113 for a 60% full 5mL   these are just two that I remember off the top of my head. I feel very lucky to have managed a swap for an imp of Storyville, and so I'm content; I just hope that this increase in prices isn't going to continue and become 'normal'. I have enough of a problem keeping cash as it is... this'll either make me totally broke, or make me break my habit.
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Also...

...over the last few days I have scored four decants of Dark Delicacies, a bottle of Hope (shipped!) for the price of a GC, imps of King and Queen of Diamonds, and an imp of Chaste Moon which through the magic of swapping I hope to turn into an imp of Ingenue.       ___   ON BUYING THINGS TO SWAP 'EM: This is not a black-and-white issue. Buying stuff for the purpose of swapping it away for rare decants is frowned upon by many in the BPAL community, and I can sort of understand why: we're all here because we have a strong and sentimental attachment to our smellies, so if you don't actually want it for what it is, let someone who truly loves it have the scent. I can understand that perspective, and I guess if I was giving up something I loved 'cause I needed the $$, at the end of the day I'd rather it go to someone who would appreciate it rather than just want it for its value. But also, a couple of things: -once you sell something, it's out ofyour hands. Your attachment to that item has ended, and with it your right to make moral judgments about how it's used. Whatever-it-is is no longer yours. let it go. -As a n00b, it's really hard to see people raving about all these great rare scents, and then not being able to try them because they're only up for swap for things of "equally rare value". You _have_ to start with purchasing, and the easiest way to break into the rares market is to buy something to trade. Sometimes what comes up for sale isn't what you want at the end of the day; but then again, sometimes you bring home an imp you intended to just swap away, and find a new love. -buying things to swap is actually pretty utilitarian. Picture this: you have four people, A; B; C; and D (shut up, it's late I'm not imaginative). A has a decant of Voodoo Queen that she is selling. B has a decant of Storyville that she will only swap for Voodoo Queen or Lugh. C has wanted to try Storyville for ages, but she doesn't have Voodoo QUeen (and she def. doesn't have lugh). D really loves Voodoo Queen (but in order to know that, s/he would need to have enough to test --> probably has a decant already). If D buys the decant of Voodoo Queen, two people are happy: A and D. A has gotten $ for it, and D has more of what she already tested and knows she likes. This has no effect on B, but C still can't even access storyville. If C buys the decant of Voodoo Queen, three people are happy: A, B and C. A has gotten the $ that she would've gotten anyway. C now has access to something she really wants (Storyville; and in the process got to test Voodoo Queen) and B has something she really wants. D isn't happy, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. Purchasing decants to swap is, from a utilitarian perspective, a pretty good idea. More people get what they want out of the market -- where's the harm in that?   it's like the idea of "too much profit". No such thing. If Beth wants to spend her $$ on a Lamborghini, I don't care, although since oil prices will have increased I'll probably be able to buy less perfoom. Which, in the end, might actually be a good thing for my pocketbook. How do you like fast Italian cars, Beth?
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Ammo Boxes

My ammo boxes came today. I have four 50-count green ammo boxes and I'm trying to decide how to sort my imps into them... one box is reserved for intent blends (voodoo, celestials, tarot, sephiroth [if I ever get any], panacea, and of course TAL) and one box is reserved for favourites/multiple imps, but I'm not sure what to do with the rest of them. Oh well... I'll figure it out   Also, the imp-to-bottle ratio sucks. five imps (admittedly, 2 were partially empty so really about 4.5 imps) make up about 3/4 of a bottle. 4.5 imps = 0.75 bottles, so we're looking at 6 imps to the bottle. Some decanters say they get 7 imps to the bottle. ((glum)) Oh well... at least I have the equivalent of two bottles of DD. Orchid-scented deliciousness, apply here.
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I want to dress like a girl!

In Michigan I found this beautiful frilly pink dress. It's foofy and lacy and has puffed sleeves, and looks like it was made for a five-year-old and then scaled up with room for a bosom. I love it. I pranced around the store for a good fifteen minutes, trying on shoes and wasting time because I didn't want to get out of the pretty dress. I love looking like a girl.   But I wear jeans all the time. I don't mind jeans, there's nothing wrong with them. But I have lots of gorgeous skirts and dresses. I wear jeans all the time because to dress like a girl is to attract notice, and I don't want to attract notice.   Tomorrow I am going to dress like a girl. I will be uncomfortable, because even if people aren't looking at me, I'll feel like people are looking at me. I will feel weird. And I will make myself do this every day until either I get acclimated or I don't secretly want to do it anymore, as uncomfortable as it sometimes makes me.   I am also going to learn to do my hair! Because given the price of my dye jobs, putting it in a ponytail just doesn't cut it!
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Another cheer for Aged Snake Oil

**inhales wrists deeply** aaaaaah.   My gorgeous bottle is now about 10 months old. It smells duh-vine. I cannot wait until it is 3 years old... daaamn.   I'm done now   ---   My perennial worry that my collection is too large has reached its zenith, I think. After the July moon, which is going to be preceded by big purchases for me -- the July Moon, the Cancer astrological blend, Blue Moon (two bottles), Brisingamen, and Tarot: The Hermit -- I'm going to start seriously culling, and swapping for the things I want. The rares I want to collect right nwo are:   Ingenue Unseelie Storyville   and that's about it. Almost anything for those three, but once I'm satisfied that I have enough of those, collecting is going to take a back seat.     Here lies another possible-keepsies list: La Fee Verte Havisham Snake Oil Shub Snow Bunny Ingenue (duh) Dark Delicacies MB: Closet Hope Snow Angel Bruja Vieux Carre June Gloom (if I can collect enough... if not, she gets jettisoned) Unseelie (duh) Storyville (if I can collect enough)
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Shuuuuuubbbb...

Someone frimped me a sample of Shub soap. I just bathed with it, and I am sooooo glad I have a bottle of gingery Shub-Niggurath-y goodness coming my way.   Also, Bruja is divine. I have half a bottle and it's not a MAD QUEST FOR MORE scent like Ingenue... but of course, another DC I had to fall for. :/ Ah well.   Mom fell in love with The Ghost -- I gave her a frimp of it and she wants a bottle. And there's probably going to be an April fool's blend when Milk Moon goes live. So the Milk Moon order is looking like this:   -1 bottle Milk Moon ($17.50) -1 bottle Therianthropic (?) ($17.50) -1 bottle The Ghost ($15) -1 bottle April Fool's blend ($17.50)   Sheila Ross also fell in love with my Brimstone locket! So we're getting her a Phoenix locket for her birthday, which has passed. I think I may slip some soaps in with that order...
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At the End of the day

I don't like having a lot of bottles sitting around not getting any affection. I also don't like not having bottles of stuff I know I /do/ love -- like tarot: The Hermit, and Brisingamen, and Perversion. I do like being identifiable by scent, so here's the short list of what's staying, what needs to come in and what I know eventually has to go:   STAYING Havisham La Fee Verte [signature... when it's not that time of the month] Snow Bunny [dance/saturdays/special-but-not-Going-Out stuff] Shub-Niggurath [winter comfort scent] Perversion --> NEED BOTTLE [Jon] Brisingamen --> NEED BOTTLE [work/professional scent] Tarot: The Hermit --> NEED BOTTLE [studying/focus/divination/introspection scent] Monster Bait: Closet [come-smex-me scent -- could use another bottle] Dark Delicacies   GOING The Ecstasy of Passion The Ecstasy of True Love Spooky Snow White Skadi Ice Queen Trick #2 Devil's Night 05 [ach! How I wish I wore this more! it's beautiful... I just don't reach for it much :/] Bitter Moon Pink Moon 2005 Buck Moon Milk Moon Beaver Moon Stardust 05 Spanked Snowblind Cinnamon SN Siberian Musk SN   EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED Vieux Carre Bruja Ingenue Brides of Dracula Gypsy Queen   MUST TRY Black Moon -- even though it's the same niche as Dark Delicacies, which I looove too much to ever give up Storyville -- I have a weird feeling I'd like it. Yes, even though I've tried it. don't ask me why, I just go with my little hunches... Boomslang -- what can I say, i'm hopeful!   MUST BUY Tarot: The Hermit/Brisingamen/Perversion Blue Moon Cancer astrological blend April Fool's blend, whatever it is
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Oh, and... (H&EE)

Voodoo Punani amps the saffron on me. It's nice; I like it. It ends up smelling surprisingly sophisiticated, like I wanted Monster Bait: Underpants to smell. Underpants was just too vanilla, though. :/
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Unjustifiably mad

mmkay. So I enabled a friend a while ago, and since then we've had a pretty loose arrangement regarding swapping BPAL. For a while I bought her BPAL and she paid me back in rave tickets, which worked out for everyone. I've also given her some things: most notably, I passed along first an imp and then my 2/3 full bottle of Voodoo Queen, because much as I liked it it smelled better on her than it did on me. If I see something I know she wants, I'll swap from my pile of stuff to get it for her. And that's why I'm a little bit frustrated, and I know it's not justified.   There's a scent I /love/ -- Ingenue. Damn hard to find. A while ago she saw an imp of it for sale, and bought it for me -- and then she fell in love with it. :/ You can see where this is going, I think. I'm a little cheesed off, because in the past I've given her things I knew she'd enjoy, even though they were rare and swappable, and I could've used them to collect things I wanted. It's not fair to give a gift with the expectation of getting something in return; that's not really giving, and it's not fair to either party. At the time I didn't think that was what I was doing, but I find myself a bit upset that I gave up things for her, and she's not willing to do the same for me - even for one decant. It's not going to drive a wedge through our friendship or any such thing, but I'm materialistic enough that it annoys me.   The biggest problem (insofar as there is actually a problem, which is debatable) is that there's nothing I can do about it. I didn't pay for it, she purchased it as a gift (and informed me it was such) before she decided to keep it; and I can't be angry at her for not reciprocating a feeling I had, or a way of doing things that I decided to follow. It just makes me upset, and I don't think I'll be looking out for her wants in the future. :/
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I tend to go a little overboard

with scents I like. Or, uhm, *think* I'll like. Or just get a weird hankering after, and decide for no logical reason that I'll adore.   This is how it tends to go: I get curious about a scent, whether I just see a decant of it pop up or for some reason I like the name that day. I skim the reviews. I read the reviews. I re-read the reviews. I snap up the first decant of it I see. I re-read the reviews, decide I love it, and hunt down as much as I can find. I get the first decant, and try it on. It's oooo-kay. I have five more coming. Great.   This is how I got so much Snowblind. Everyone was all "oooh! Snowblind!" and I tried it and it was... meh.   I just really, reallly hope I like Havisham. Because I swapped 2 decant sof Passion and 2mL of Snow Angel for the bottle I have a-coming in the mail...
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I love Snake Oil

Dotted my wrists with my nine-month-old Snake Oil this morning, and it's glorious. I can't believe I wasn't a huge fan in the beginning... it goes a little play-doh on me after a few hours and I have to reapply, but after it ages it's the most gorgeous sophisticated warm spice scent. On my skin the amber is prominent, and I love amber... so glad I have a bottle.   Also, next time I order from the lab I need to buy a bottle of Vixen to put away. I sniffed an imp of Vixen that someone had aged for over a year, and it was heavenly.   Things I'd like to try: Boomslang -- I'm not sure I'd want a whole bottle of this one, but I'd like to try it. Also, I'm pretty sure Sophia would like it. For her birthday, she's getting a bottle of Boomslang and a bottle of Velvet (she likes cocoa-y scents). Hope -- I want a bottle of this beauty. Faith, unfortunately, goes instant play-doh on me, and I don't think it's salvageable. Scent locket? I have a brimstone locket coming...   Other than that, I'm prettymuch out of wants! I have almost a full bottle of Ice Queen, ditto Havisham, I have an imp of Voodoo Queen which is all I'll ever need (it's too heavy for my complexion... but it's oh-so-beautiful), I've got a bottle of Snow Angel and much as I love it I'll never need more, I've got more MB: Closet than I'll ever use (but it's soooo goood), I've got a bottle of Snake Charmer and seriously, I could decant from it, I like aged Snake Oil better anyway; I wouldn't mind trying Storyville, Formula 54 and Blue Moon but I'm not rabid for any of them, and I have an imp of Intergalactic coming and if I need another one I've got stuff to swap. The only thing I really want more of is Ingenue. I'd like to build up a collection of 7-9 imps, ideally, which would be enough for me to be comfortably sure that I wouldn't run out. I have stuff I can swap for this, too -- I can decant from my bottle of Passion if I have to, or dangle my Trick 2 out there as an enticement. I have two single notes coming that can be swapped away without breaking my heart, although I want to keep my Blood Orange SN no matter how it smells on me (I love the scent of blood oranges). I have bottles of Pink Moon 2007 and Ostara coming; I'm very much looking forward to Ostara, very much. In some ways, my lack of wants right now is good; through careful swapping, I've tried most of the rares out there that interested me at all, and I've kept the ones I wanted and let the others go, but now I get to look to scents that have just come out and decide right away, based on what's in them, whether I want them -- there's no reputation or legend attached to the new stuff yet. That's kind of exciting.   I'm also looking forward to Blue Moon 2007, and the Cancer astrological blend, although if it's chamomile and lavender I'll load the bottle into a gun and shoot myself. I'll be purchasing any/all blends available for July because it's my birth month, and probably two bottles of 07 Blue Moon (just because I'm pretty sure it's going to be up my alley -- cool and soft and somewhat crisp and airy, gently sweet). So glad I got $1100 back from my taxes -- probably around $250 of that will go to BPAL...     Another $250 will go to paying for my rave habit [$500] leaving about $600 to sustain the rest of my expensive lifestyle for three months. That's $200 a month, or $50 a week. I should be okay, although I'll have to stop buying so many books. :/
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I just bought more stuff :/

Yeah, so I just bought a partial of Mabon and a 10mL of Lex Talionis on ebay. In my defence, the prices were all right given the content (Mabon was a little expensive, I probably should've actually read the auction info...) Lex is a gift for Ian, because I feel a little guilty about realising that I'm keeping "his" bottle of Schwarzer. (He'd better like Lex, because he's got a damn huge bottle coming.) Mabon I just wanted to try, but not enough to actively hunt down an imp.. then this half-full bottle appeared in front of me, and I leapt.   I'll wait until all the bottles I have coming are here, sniff through them all, live with them for a bit, then do a massive destashing. I think I'll email Jocosa about Ice Queen... I'm thrilled to have gotten to try as much as I have, and there are one or two bottles I still have my eye on (most notably some Havisham up on Ebay) but once all this has been gone through I think I'll stick to a small stash of fragrances. Still want to try Black Moon, but other than that... eh.
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Nightmares. Again.

I've gone through my whole life without nightmares. Why now?   Tonight's were strange. That I can remember... there was one where I was in the company of a young boy whom I thought was a serial killer, and I had to get away without making himsuspicious, and it was in the middle of nowhere and Sophia wasn't pickin gup her phone. There was a part where someone shut a girl's face in a waffle iron - a blistering-hot, plugged in waffle iron. There had been steam coming out of the device before, but as it covered her face and she struggled to get it off the steam turned red... it sounds comical now, but it was really horrible. I wanted to wake up.   The earlier one, that I remember less, was one where the world had gone strange... I remember that /I/ had been in another world, a through-the-looking-glass type of experience, and as frightening as that world was I had to go back there, it was my job to fix something. (And for me, th way that I could get back into the world was to drink a cup of tea -- Green tea, said the man with the fingers, was the easy way. Black tea was the respected way. Red tea wasn't spoken about, but it was clear that there were three options, so red tea must have been the third) I rode the bus (yes, there was a bus) from the other world into this one, intending not to stay long. I wasn't supposed to stay long, but then I thought, what if I got some supplies? Flashlights, batteries, stuff I could use. And I had to get back, but I think I decided to get some supplies. The world-that-is-this-world was strange, it was dark... and I was walking through an aboveground tunnel, made of brick I remember, and I was a little scared because it was after dark and the tunnel was small and I'd never really liked them anyway. There were people around me -- not many, there were two people ahead of me and some people behind. And I remember I was a little scared as a young girl, of the man ahead of me.. but then, the young couple behind me just sat down. They just sat down cross-legged in the tunnel, as though they couldn't go any farther. And after a few steps, so did the man in front of me -- this tough guy in a leather jacket -- just sat down too, like he'd given up. I went a few metres farther, out of their sight and round a curve, an then I sat down too, more because I was tired than anything, and some people from university (Leo and Elyssa and I think Boyce) came through the tunnels. They were talking about someone, someone dangerous -- a practical joker gone too far. I asked them what was going on, and the said that all of a sudden the world had gone strange, dark and dangerous. I asked them why everyone was just sittin down, and Elyssa said, "They've givenup -- they don't know how to deal with this world. The tunnels are full of them." And I asked what the current danger was, who they were running from, and Elyssa and Leo exchanged a look, and Elyssa said "Well -- it's cats."   And then I woke up.
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Nobody reads this blog (thank god)

which is why I feel okay about posting in here. I'm getting scared of my own disinterest. The only thing I seem to have any enthusiasm for these days is my perfume collection! Yes, all right, BPAL is wonderful and blahdy blah, but I know why it's become such an obsession for me: because right now, there isn't anything else. and that's terrifying. There is nothing else I can muster the energy to care about or do. I can barely even speak to my girlfriend, although her gorgeous self is present in my thoughts. I thought leaving university would make the apathy better. It hasn't. Maybe I'm being impatient? I've been home a week... It's not as though there's some magic wand to wave to make everything fine. But I hate this. I can't care about anything, and I'm just unhappy.
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