INGENUE -- I'd buy three or four bottles of the stuff, and all of them
Unseelie -- everything I've heard suggests that it's shockingly beautiful. It sounds like my kind of wispy, ethereal floral-with-character. Hopehopehope...
so I guess it's a good thing that I'm not crazy about this update. While I'm eager to /try/ all three, and am prepared for the possibility that I might like any of them, none of them are scents I can't live without. Although admittedly I have a good feeling about this version of 13. I don't know why, because it has The Dreaded White Chocolate in it... but I've just got a feeling.
there are only three spaces left in my "A" imp box, or will be when all of my scents arrive. My two Queen of Diamonds decants will be moved to their bottle and King of Diamonds will probably be swapped, filling up space that will be swiftly occupied by my shortie of Havisham. My "B" box is for blends to sell or swap, and my "C" box is intent blends. I need to start consolidating my collection... unfortunately, i'm emotionally attached to rather a lot of it. Which is absurd, given how many scents I have and how slowly I go through them.
And I still need to buy 5mL's of Tarot: The Hermit and Brisingamen! Tarot: The Hermit especially is one I see using a lot of next year, for quiet study and reflection.
On the up side, Snow Moon is lovely. I swapped my 5mL of Bitter Moon for it (as lovely as Bitter Moon is, the imp will suffice, I think -- I just wasn't wearing it that much :/) and I don't regret it. snow Moon is like all the parts I liked about Snow White, minus the parts that I didn't -- the watery coconut sweetness that drove me into headaches if I wore it for too long. Snow Moon is also a less-musky dead ringer for Ice Queen, which is good because I can wear it without feeling guilty about the cost of today's parfoom
I have decided to keep Snake Charmer. I have so many snowy icy scents that as nice as Snow White 2004 is, I'm only a little sorry to see my 5mL go, and I /like/ Snake Charmer. It stays.
((inhales wrist deeply)) mmmmm....
I think I'd sell a kidney for more Havisham. My love affair with icy, snowy florals is official.
Purchasing Plans:
-2 bottles of Blue Moon, when it comes out
-a bottle of Milk Moon, when it comes out (depending on what else is in it...)
-the Cancer astrological blend, when it comes out
-some Brisingamen with my next order
-some Tarot: The Hermit when I have the cash lying around
So far we're looking at (est. $17.50 for LE's) $113.50 without shipping. And that's only the ones I *know* I'm buying.
Snow Bunny = teh SEX.
I may need another partial bottle to make up one full bottle. I like it better than I like Snow White... it reminds me a lot of Snow Angel, actually, which is a good Now I'm just trying to convince myself /not/ to try Black Moon... even though I'm pretty sure I'll like it, Dark Delicacies fits in the same niche, and I already have a bottle and 7 (yes, seven) decants of that one coming.
Mouse's Long and Sad Tale is okay. It dries down to a pleasant sweet vanilla-amber-sandalwood that reminds me a bit of Underpants, only cuter and nicer. I may keep the bottle.
RUNNING TO h_f's PLACE!
It's funny: Ice Queen, the scent that spawned my love affair with BPAL's snowy/icy blends, is actually the one of them I like least now.
I still enjoy it, don't get me wrong. It's beautiful, but it's just a little too sharp/hard for me: the white musks are just slightly too prominent, it's just -- well, "too hard" is the only way I can describe it. I have low hopes for Skadi, because it seems that Skadi is Ice Queen but slightly /harder/. Guh.
I'm avoiding Frost Moon (eucalyptus smells like armpit funk on me) and Cold Moon/Snow Moon just don't seem worth hunting down. I've tried Ice Queen, Snow White, Snow Bunny, Snow Angel, and Havisham, and I have a bottle of Skadi coming my way. Of those, Snow White I have realised must go -- while she's lovely, she's just too sweet for me, and there's something slightly too aquatic about the scent for me to be comfortable. Part of it is the coconut, but there's this strange milky non-sugar sweetness to it that (while it's nice) I find ultimatel off-putting. and there's no sense in sitting on two bottles of something so sought-after if I'm not gonna love them. Weirdly, I like Snow Bunny much better than I like Snow White -- the Bunny has all of the good things about Snow White, combined with some of the powdersugar perk of Snow Angel. Honestly, while I like Snow Angel (especially on the drydown) I think I might like Snow Bunny better! But Shhh, don't speak loudly of my sacrilege.
Havisham is, of course, achingly beautiful: a strange-yet-classic frosty aquatic rose, not a scent to wear every day but a scent to cherish. I'm almost glad I have so little of it -- peversely, it'll stop me taking it for granted, something I feel like I do with my GC loves Perversion and Brisingamen. (Incidentally, I need to learn to stop reviewing scents the first time I wear them: I'm usually too enraptured by their loveliness to step back and see how they /compare/ to things I already like/dislike. Thus my reviews all tend to be gushy, even though I only like some of what I've got.)
They don't come often, when I feel like SC. It's a powerful blend, and I don't wear it much at all -- it's not my usual sort of smell, so I have to be in the mood. Although SC is a very ladylike, /very/ sexy scent, because it's also a dark and a heady scent it also seems a bit rebellious to me -- for wear on days when I feel like not being my usual blonde self, when I feel like schlumping around in dark jeans and my rhinestone tiger hoodie, burying myself in a book, and generally absenting myself from the normal interacting world. If Shub is my comfort scent -- like a soft cashmere blanket on a cold day -- Snake Charmer is my push-off scent, something that means I've decided to step outside the world of normal human interaction, whether by being vampy or aggressive or sulky or bookish.
today was definately a Snake Charmer day.
and bought some partial (very, very partial) bottles at better-than-reasonable prices, but those cost $10 which is what I made off of one decant of Spooky so that's no big deal So far I've made $56, and I hope to make a little more. All of it is going towards the update on the 13th.
I'll probably ship it to Amy's address, and as such I might even combine orders with her -- she wants a 5mL of Kyoto and an imp pack! Yessss, another enablee, although I suspect this is more out of indulgence for me than true obsession. Either way, it spreads the love. You can't get much for $56, especially considering shipping... but Mom will be wiring some money into my account to buy Sheila a scent locket [she saw mine and was /instantly/ taken with it] and so I'll just ask her for a couple of dollars extra to round out my shipping costs -- shouldn't be too hard. The update is probably going to be full of shinies, at least that's what's buzzing and bumbling on the fora... and given Beth's hints, the slow boil seems warranted There's not much I'm craving right now, other than 5mL's of The Hermit and Brisingamen, but those can be laid aside if the 13th offers up some particularly tasty morsels.
Oh, and I'm on Zoloft again! Yaaay! And Amy might (/might/) be coming down for the 28th of April :(
I'm excited about MB: biggerCritters, and I'm contemplating purchasing a critter just to get the bottle with the Speshul label. I'm doing this mostly because I had horrible nightmares last night. I can't remember most of them but what I can remember was horrible -- my worst fears, oozing out of my subconscious to get me. Not monsters or the supernatural... being abandoned by the people I care about, and knowing I deserved it.
I'm so glad I'm awake. It wasn't a good night.
[small]I dreamed, among other things, that Hannah didn't care about me any more... that was horrible. Some of the taint of that is still sitting in my mind.[/small]
The process of extracting my head from my butt has been long and arduous, but I think I've made progress. I almost let _perfume_ damage a friendship with someone I care about. I'm such an idiot. :/
I sincerely hope i haven't fundamentally changed our relationship for the worse... although I guess now she's seen what a selfish tard I can be. Um, yay honesty. I'd write about that more, but I can just say it in person. GOD I'm such an idiot.
In other news, we have lockets! I'm wearing my Brimstone locket right now, and h_f's gorgeous White Rabbit locket is sitting in its little velvet pouch on my bathroom counter. At first I looked at mine and thought O.o damn that's big -- but surprisingly, given that I usually don' tlike large jewellery, I'm very fond of it. It's quite elegant, and when strung on a ribbon is a lovely simple statement piece. I'm wearing it with LFV inside right now.
Speaking of, I nabbed some more La Fee Verte. Okay, I think I have enough of it now. Srsly. Three decants, three bottles and two more bottles on the way (four of those bottles are partials, but even so -- about 40mL). I have enough of it to last me a lifetime, which is exactly what I intended.
I also have a total of seven decants of Dark Delicacies. No more of that one, either.
I've built up enough stuff-to-swap that if I'm really hankering for anything, I have a chance of finding it -- some SNs, some unreleased blends, Passion. I need to get more Green Tree Viper before it goes down, and perhaps bottles of Brisingamen and banded Sea Snake... but other than that, I think I'm done.
...Oh God, I'm _so_ not done. Maybe I should just stop trying to convince myself.
Finished Season II of House. I need more House! Whyyyy?
METHOD: Anointed a small natural-white paraffin pillar candle with Radiance of Ra + Block Buster to banish circling negative thoughts. Worked very well.
I found myself stuck in a rut of negativity, where I was feeling down on myself in general and convinced I'd done something wrong to alienate one person in particular. There was a lot of negative self-talk, which not only felt crappy, but also impeded my ability to get on with my life.
I dressed a candle with Radiance of Ra and Block Buster. I envisioned bright rays of sunshine breaking through the fug of negativity, clearing out those heavy shadows in the mind, and busting through the blocks of insecurity and negative self-talk I'd stacked up in my own path. I thought about eliminating the "lies and deceptions" of low self-esteem, which were telling me that I'm not good enough and soon everyone would find out.
As soon as I lit the candle, I felt better. I stood up straighter, and the circling negative thoughts just -- stopped. I wasn't distracted by self-criticism. I attacked a task I'd been avoiding and felt good about it. I cooked dinner and enjoyed it. I reread the email to the person I thought I'd alienated -- which I had been avoiding -- and concluded it was perfectly harmless and if he didn't like it, that wasn't on me. I realised I'd done the best I could, and I should continue to do the best I could, and that was that. I just felt better right away. It was amazing.
I haven't experienced any vim and vigor yet, and I don't feel particularly energized, but that might be because I'm pretty sleep deprived right now. Will report back if that changes.
Additionally: I'm thinking of starting to make my own hand-poured soy wax candles using TAL oils,
You know when you look back on something you've done, or a way you've behaved, and you just want to disappear and hope nobody ever thinks of you again? You know when you read articles about toxic people and you're like... "Wait, I think *I'm* the toxic person. The call has been coming from inside the house this whole time!"
...perhaps it's just me. Either I have overactive guilt/shame reflexes, or I just do crappy/embarrassing things more often than most people, or maybe both. Who can say! In 20 years I'll probably have enough perspective to tell the difference. But right now, I'm pretty sure I've done the wrong thing. Again.
I'm still working on finding solutions to the behaviours in myself that I want to change. That's an ongoing process, and it feels sometimes like it's just a sequence of falling on my face again - and again - and again - and irritating, aggravating, or hurting any number of people in the process. I do look at myself now and see that I am miles ahead of where I was five years ago, which is good. But in the interim -- sometimes I just want people not to think about me, or talk about me, or feel any type of way about me at all. I don't like being the subject of gossip, and I don't like the idea that my behaviour could get someone else down. In those moments, I just want to draw a veil over myself, separating me from the rest of the world. Giving me a little peace and respite from other people's thoughts and feelings, and giving other people a little respite from the effects and consequences of my behaviour.
That, I think, is a good place for Veils and Mists to come in. I'd never thought about it as a TAL I'd want to have in my life, but increasingly it feels useful or even necessary to me. I'm not sure how I'd judge its effectiveness because that would require proving a negative, and an impossible one at that -- "Prove other people HAVEN'T been privately gossiping about me or feeling bad about things I said or did!" Nevertheless, I'd like to be able to send that energy out into the world, with some serious oomph behind it courtesy of the Lab. I'll try and get my hands on a bottle and update this entry if/as events warrant.