I've packed up some DVDs and a whole passel of imps - that means I can go back online for a little while now, right? (This is why my packing progress has been so slow ... but on the plus side, I remembered to read all the Heroes online graphic novels the other day before the speedy computer & superspeedy fiber internet goes away ...)
I found my long-lost Townes van Zandt cd in Jason's bathroom under some incense! Yay! Moving isn't entirely evil maybe.
I have discovered that Vanilla Coke Zero is a much better packing motivator than beer. Why I needed to discover this through experience instead of just realizing it through thinking, I don't know.
If Chrissy managed to get all her stuff except the flower pots on the patio out in one day while everyone else was at work, then I should be able to get a decent amount of stuff packed up for the movers to transport for me by Saturday morning, right? Seems logical ...
The other night I couldn't go to sleep, so I went downstairs to try to pack & instead ended up looking at old photos. (See above re: slow progress ...) In my head all my college friends all still look the same - there's some weird mental overlay between my eyes and my perception. I showed some pictures to Jason & he didn't believe me that they were the same people he'd met at first. And that wasn't even the album from my freshman year, it was all the way up in 1999.
So, a bunch of stuff-related realizations (why do I have so much junk? What is the best way to pack action figures without smushing them & their accessories? Why have I twice moved two boxes full of magazines that I'll never read again? Whywhywhy?) and dust and torment and cleaning and by July 1st, I'll be free! Just me and the dog - no more roommate stress!!! Freeeeeeeee .....
I remember all the reasons I don't want Jason back anymore, and they're good ones. But when I told him I made a personals ad, he suddenly broke up with his girlfriend & spent hours on the phone begging me to take him back. WTF?! It's been a year and a half!
Another e-mail at lunch today was trying to wriggle past my defenses & make me think, what if? He was saying he's changed, and realizes what a terrible mistake he made, and he never wants to be without me, etc etc.
I think, even though I dislike all the drama he carries around with him, that e-mail got to me because I'm a quiet person with domestic ambitions & a pragmatic soul. I'm not a believer in the doomed epic love, with artistic angst & drugs & alcohol & whatever. Part of me is amazed at the idea that anyone would write that about me.
But still, he's a grown-up & makes his own decisions, and I make mine. My brain still feels solidly in control, and I'm looking forward to my new dating adventures. Except for that one voice in the corner that isn't getting with the program ...
