I remember all the reasons I don't want Jason back anymore, and they're good ones. But when I told him I made a personals ad, he suddenly broke up with his girlfriend & spent hours on the phone begging me to take him back. WTF?! It's been a year and a half!
Another e-mail at lunch today was trying to wriggle past my defenses & make me think, what if? He was saying he's changed, and realizes what a terrible mistake he made, and he never wants to be without me, etc etc.
I think, even though I dislike all the drama he carries around with him, that e-mail got to me because I'm a quiet person with domestic ambitions & a pragmatic soul. I'm not a believer in the doomed epic love, with artistic angst & drugs & alcohol & whatever. Part of me is amazed at the idea that anyone would write that about me.
But still, he's a grown-up & makes his own decisions, and I make mine. My brain still feels solidly in control, and I'm looking forward to my new dating adventures. Except for that one voice in the corner that isn't getting with the program ...
Think it's time to get this started ...
I'm just so glad the forum is back I can't say. The internet seemed so boring without it ... I still had LJ & my scans_daily comics community, but they didn't update often enough. And I missed all the random babbling and enabling!
The past couple of weeks have been grim. I've shared an apartment with the same roommate for the past nine years, and this year my boyfriend thought we could try to rent a house, the three of us. My brother wants to move out of my parent's house & I'd really like to help him, but the realtors don't want to hear about roommates (they keep not returning my calls). And I'm kind of worried that my credit isn't good enough anyway. And since the others work normal office hours & I work crazy retail hours, I've been left to do most of the realtor-talking, which sucks because I've been more inarticulate than usual lately. Arrgh! And I'm trying to stay focused on houses, but I need to make a resume & start looking for a better job too ...
So anyway, sniffing pretty things helps keep me sane. When first I got into bpal, I was looking for a signature scent - something that would make people think of me when they sniffed it. Now I can't imagine wearing the same thing two days in a row! You have your spicy days, your rose days, your foody days ... Not sure what today will be. Maybe something comforting & basic? But I need to train someone at work this evening, so maybe Mercury to help me communicate ...
I think I have to call another realtor now. Sigh ...
