[instead of posting in the H&EE thread, I told people there that I would write my opinions here instead.]
Very brief background if you have no idea what's going on here: Heaven & Earth Essentials is an etailer that sells perfume oils and bath & body products. The owner's name is Michele; her account name in this forum is anxious1. She has been a member here since November 2005. The thread for her business was started here in January 2006.
So, let me give you a hypothetical scenario.
How well do you think it would go over if a new BPAL competitor joined the BPAL forum and almost immediately asked what the most popular BPAL scents are? And what if she also asked how people were getting a hold of unreleased BPAL scents? I bet people might think that was odd -- if they knew she was a competitor. However in this scenario, the new competitor hasn't revealed herself as a competitor yet. She has only said that she is the business owner of an unrelated business and a LUSH fan.
OK, what if she then started buying a whole bunch of BPAL bottles, and then she resold them to BPAL fans on the BPAL forum for a profit. Say you look at her sales post in March and you see FORTY-THREE BPAL GC 5mls on her sales post for $14 each. Think that would go over very well? Yes -- you read that right. A BPAL competitor making money for herself off of BPAL products directly under the nose of the BPAL owner. Not only that, but you happen to notice in someone's post from April that this new competitor was also putting samples of her own oils in with the BPAL packages she sold to people.
How about if she then started talking up her own company on the BPAL forum, communicating directly to BPAL customers about her own business. She was answering questions about her products, telling people when their orders shipped, and announcing new product updates on her site. (You are aware that running the BPAL forum takes money and time. You think it's strange that this competitor is allowed to use the BPAL forum for free as her own personal communication tool for her business.) Say the forum administrator warns the new competitor a couple of times that she's breaking the etailer rules -- which are outlined clearly for all to see -- but the new competitor doesn't change her ways. The forum adminstrator then makes her customer service posts invisible and restricts her access to some of the other parts of the forum. The new competitor says it was just a misunderstanding on her part.
Keep in mind that until this new competitor had her access restricted, she had access to all the members' posts about which scents they liked and didn't like. Just like any other forum member. She had access to etailer threads of her other competitors, where she could see what people liked and didn't like about those businesses as well.
[ETA: please see shriekingviolet's comment below for a correction about the above paragraph.]
When people on the BPAL forum ask the new competitor about her ingredients in her oils, the new competitor says in one case that she has made a couple of mistakes on her site and that she doesn't really use a Chocolate EO; in another case she said that she uses real ambergis. At that time, she also had Lily of the Valley EO and Lilac EO for sale on her site -- but you've been reading this newsletter, which contains some conflicting information. A little bit of foreshadowing here: Later, in a post in another thread, she says she's been a "perfumer" for 20 years. You might wonder how a "perfumer" with that much experience would mix up what's an essential oil and what's not, or how a person with so much experience in the field could possibly not know that real ambergis is illegal.
Then this competitor comes out with a new perfume that is remarkably like one of BPAL's most recently released AND most wildly popular Limited Editions. She mentions that she "has been told" that her version has more buttery vanilla. She says it's a coincidence and nothing more. When asked about her ISO for that particular BPAL LE only a few weeks before her own very similar oil was introduced, she changes her tune and admits that she did in fact try that BPAL oil (she hasn't just "been told" about it), and she says she wanted more of it because she liked it. She claims that her version of the scent had been in the works for months. Just coincidence, she said.
During the blow-up about this remarkably similar product, the new competitor states that she loves BPAL and respects Beth, and in fact she only wears Beth's oils and not her own. You can't help but notice that for all her proclaimed love of BPAL, this new competitor has up until that point posted exactly one BPAL review in the forum, and it was to say that MB Closet smelled like cat pee.
In a discussion about using stock oils in scents, the new competitor calls herself a "perfumer" and says "I don't do dupes and I don't relabel." Yet when you look at her site you see a dupe of LUSH's Karma right there!
And say that BPAL has been doing, oh, I don't know, a special Limited Edition scent called "Cinco" on Cinco de Mayo for the past two years, and suddenly this new competitor comes out with her own product called "Five" especially for Cinco de Mayo too. But she says, once again, that hers has been in the works for a long time and that it is merely another coincidence.
Finally, the forum administrator of the BPAL forum comes into this new competitor's thread to explain that the new competitor's account has been suspended because she broke the forum rules by creating a duplicate account. She used the duplicate account to get around restrictions that were placed on her first account so that she could snoop about BPAL's business and BPAL's fans some more. The administrator can prove this with IP addresses showing duplicate accounts accessed from the new competitor's home and work. (And your husband is a Database Administrator, so you know perfectly well what IP addresses are and how they are logged.) The administrator also says that the new competitor has been borrowing a friend's login to browse the BPAL forum as well. She says she was posting under the friend's login as well.
At this point, how many people do you guess would be big fans of this new competitor and unwilling to believe that she has exhibited some shady business practices?
You guys, Michele has done every single one of those things and they are all recorded in the BPAL fan forum. Check her posts. It's all right there. (Except that her customer service posts in the H&EE thread were made invisible, so I'm just going off memory there.) I swear to you, I am not making this up. Every single bit of information in that huge "hypothetical" scenario above came from Michele's own posts and the H&EE thread. All I did was put it in one place.
Please note that you can look at all her posts yourself by going into her profile (anxious1), clicking on Profile Options, and choosing the View Member's Posts option. This is all right there, out in the open for anyone to see.
So here are my major concerns:
- I don't like re-selling BPAL for profit in any case, but I think it is especially reprehensible behavior for a BPAL competitor. Bad form. To the nth degree.
- On top of that, I think that slipping some samples of her perfume oils into her BPAL sales packages is... well, I want to say it's a dirty trick, but I'll leave it as just saying completely disrespectful and inappropriate.
- She was not upfront about her status as a BPAL competitor when she joined this forum and started asking questions about the most popular BPAL scents and how people get a hold of unreleased scents. That's called market research. This tactic in particular makes me angry. I did not write my reviews and posts here so that a BPAL competitor could come along and use what I've written to think up new ideas to make herself money. I resent that.
- I might have bought her story about one "coincidence" of copying BPAL. Maybe. But two? Nope. Fool me once...
- Someone who supposedly has 20 years of experience with perfumes really ought to know what's an essential oil and what's not. She also ought to know that real ambergis is illegal. I don't believe she's telling the truth about her experience. Also she claimed to have a Lilac EO (and a couple of others). I don't believe she's telling the truth about her ingredients, either.
- She refused to sell her products to olympia301, citing oly's post in the H&EE thread as the reason why. (Oly questioned a couple of Michele's ingredients.) Nobody, and I mean no one, should get retribution from an etailer for comments they make about that etailer on bpal.org. That's just wrong. By the same token, people who consistently post glowing remarks about the etailer in bpal.org should not receive preferential treatment by the etailer.
- She used bpal.org as a free service to communicate with current customers and answer questions of potential customers. No, wait, I should clarify that. It was free to her -- but it was not free. Someone was paying for it. The fans of her competitor were paying for it. The only thing that stopped her from using it for her own purposes was having her account restricted. Just asking her to stop didn't do the trick.
Michele has said several times that the reasons for issues with her were misunderstandings or coincidences. I just flat-out do not believe her. She said she is the manager of a Fortune 500 IT department, and she owns her needlework business as well as her bath & body business. Clearly this is not a stupid person. I think she knew exactly what she was doing when she came to the BPAL forum: She was reading all our posts and finding out which scents we like best and why. She was studying up on other etailers and their products. She was noticing how much money people are willing to spend on perfume oils and on bath and body products. She was buying up Beth's oils like mad and then just sniffing or testing them and re-selling them for a profit. She found a HUGE potential market here -- not to mention free market research -- and she exploited it. In my opinion, that's the bottom line. She saw what was going on here and decided she wanted a piece of the action.
Let me draw some comparisons between Michele and roostersgrrl. Both of them:
- Tried to come off as BPAL fans in order to be welcomed into the community.
- Were secretly (or not so secretly) using this community to pad their own pocketbooks.
- Hawked their own wares to BPAL fans inside the BPAL community.
- Claimed innocence and misunderstandings whenever anyone brought up issues with them.
- Showed a blatant disregard and disrespect for the Lab.
- Had nearly every mod breathing down their necks at every turn... which they used to try to convince people that they were being unjustly persecuted and singled out.
In roostersgrrl's case there was a very good reason for that attention from the mods -- don't you think it's likely that in Michele's case there's a very good reason for it too? I look at that H&EE thread, and I see red flags everywhere. Warning sirens screaming, horns blowing, the whole nine yards. And I'm quite sure that the mods know a lot more about this situation than they're telling us.
Roostersgrrl got basically exiled from the community for what she did, but people are still buying Michele's products and talking about them in bpal.org. A lot of people have said things like "well, that's between Michele and the mods" and "whatever else she does doesn't matter because she's nice to me." That's exactly what people said about roostersgrrl too, you guys. I said those things. Then later I felt like a schmuck for having been duped by roostersgrrl. I don't want that same sort of thing to happen all over again -- a lot of the people who post in the H&EE thread are people I like and care about. I think Michele is pulling the wool over their eyes, and it bothers me a lot. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe the mods are wrong, maybe everyone who has noticed something fishy about Michele is wrong. But there are quite a few of us who feel this way.
So do I have too much time on my hands and should I get a job in a research library? PROBABLY. However, I'm not posting this for my sake. What I want is to put this here so that in the future someone won't end up in the situation I was in with the roostersgrrl fiasco: "Why didn't anyone tell me about this stuff?!?" Here it is. I'm telling you.
If it seems like I'm singling out Michele, it's because I visit this site every day, and I read a lot of the threads. I haven't noticed any other etailer behaving like Michele has. Not one. She's the only one who is doing this. I don't have a problem with her products -- they're not for me, but I'm not going to say that no one could possibly enjoy them. That's just not true. Plenty of people like them a lot. What earned Michele my criticism isn't her products or her company -- it's her behavior here in her competitor's fan forum. If she had never come into this forum, I probably wouldn't have ever said a bad word about her.
My mom is an elementary school teacher, and she's getting ready to retire at the end of this school year. Last year she bought her parents' farmhouse after my grandma died. She has many siblings, and although the land was divided up between them they weren't sure what to do about the house and buildings. A couple of my first cousins were interested in it, but they couldn't afford it. So, since my dad passed away a year and a half ago and my mom would like to live closer to her siblings (who are all in the same general area except one), she bought it.
Her original plan was to tear down the old chicken coop and the old barn that Grandpa built (they really needed to come down, and they're already gone now), and then tear down the old farmhouse and build a new house on the same site. When it was time to really make decisions about the house, though, she started thinking of all kinds of reasons why she didn't want to tear it down.
A couple of months ago she finally decided to stop talking about building a new house and just fix up the old one. By the time she's done, it probably will be more expensive than just building a new house. But it wouldn't be that house. The house she grew up in. She was the first child in the family who was born in the hospital instead of at home, so she wasn't technically born there, but her older sisters were. Grandma died in that house, too.
In the 1950s Grandpa added on a new kitchen and bathroom (before then they only had an outhouse) plus an extra upstairs bedroom. He built it himself, with timber he had cut down out back. He also built all the cabinetry in the kitchen and bathroom. Grandpa was a farmer, not a carpenter, but he built it. The wallpaper Grandma had hung in the 1950s was still there. There was some flooring in the upstairs that dated to the 1920s. That house had not changed one iota since before I was born, with the exception of new furniture in the living room and new carpet in the downstairs. That's it. My mom couldn't stand to think of tearing it down.
I'm glad she's fixing up the old house. I can't imagine that house not being there. Throughout my childhood we lived in four different houses, and my parents lived in several different places since I left home, but Grandma and Grandpa always lived in the same spot. The house my other grandparents lived in has already been torn down -- the people who bought it only wanted the riverfront property and wanted to put up a whole new house. So my only real "home" link any more is to that farm.
My grandparents moved into that house the day they got married in 1938 and never moved from it. Grandpa bought it from someone in his family -- his mother grew up on that same farm (different house at that time, but the same farm). That little plot of land there at the bend in the road with a creek running behind it and the best well water you've ever tasted in your life has been in my family since about 1850. The big red barn has my family's surname and the year 1891 etched into one of the doors. It was never a big farm -- only a few hundred acres -- and it was nothing fancy, but it was clean and well-kept.
My three sisters have no interest in living in the middle of nowhere on midwestern farmland, but I love that little 20 acres that is now my mom's. So my sisters and I kind of have an agreement that whenever that land gets passed on, it'll be mine to retire to. I told my mother than I have no problem putting a clause in my own will specifying that the land will be sold only to a descendant of my grandparents no matter what other offers may be. My ancestors have lived on that land for so long, it feels like it belongs to us -- even without the deed.
So many things in life change so fast... but some things need to stay the same.
A long time ago, when I was wending my merry way through the BPAL GC, I thought that some day I ought to figure out which BPAL blend was my favorite of all the BPAL blends that had one particular primary note. For example, I noticed that I LOVED about 12 dragon's blood blends, but I didn't think I needed bottles of all of them so I thought I should figure out my favorite out of those and just have one bottle of that one.
I utterly failed with the dragon's blood one. I bought about 5 different bottles of those. But, there are a few other notes that I like only occasionally, and I really need only one bottle. I don't need to keep around all the various imps, either.
So I'm going to try to do this, now that I've made it through the whole GC. I'm starting with VIOLET.
GCs THAT CONTAIN VIOLET
Arkham: A shadowy, unapproachable forest of maple, birch, dogwood, cypress and pine softened by a garland of New England wildflowers: bergamot, columbine, rue anemone, blue violet, creeping phlox, bloodroot, toadflax, and pixie moss. Light pretty floral, but not primarily violet.
Bluebeard: Violet, lavender, white musk and vetiver. Smells more of lavender than violet to me.
Ephemera: sorrowful violet and chamomile with muguet, white geranium, calla lily and tea rose with a hint of autumn leaves. Pretty, but soft and wistful. Not the sort of loud VIOLET! scent I was thinking of.
Fallen: Cherubic white sandalwood and golden musk with a dark halo of amber, a breath of imperial florals, unbending woods, and the shadow cast by vetiver and violet. Not primarily violet at all.
Faustus: frankincense and cinnamon, darkened by violet. Not primarily violet.
House Of Night: (Maybe has Primrose, violet, Daisies, Narcissus, spotted pinks, yew, myrtle, elm, cypress, cedars, osier, pine, tamarisks, weeping willows, poplar, lotos, lime, poppy amaranthus rose, mint, laurel.) A sorrowful graveyard bouquet of somber blooms, funereal boughs, dismal green and laden with grief. Need to try this again because I can't remember if the violet is a stand-out in this.
I Died For Beauty: The Venusian splendor of ylang ylang and violet stirred by hyssop, frankincense, and grave loam. [grave loam, in this case, is oakmoss and Spanish Moss] Not heavily violet, and didn't like it that much.
Le Serpent Qui Danse: Violet entwined with vanilla and gardenia. I like this one.
Libertine: Rosewood and chamomile with bergamot, violet, red sandalwood, primrose and Arabian musk. This was one of the first BPAL oils I tried, but my husband told me it smelled like old ladies and didn't like it. I swapped it away and haven't tried it since. Need to try it again.
Lucretia: Iris, black amber, sage, Kashmir wood, vanilla musk, mandarin and violet. I like this a lot, but it's not primarily violet.
Lysander: Lilac musk, tonka, wood violet, and urbane lime rind, with a Venus-kissed tangle of myrtle, blackberry leaf, and benzoin. The myrtle killed this one for me.
Marie: A blend of sinuous violet and elegant tea rose. Didn't smell good on me at all.
Monna Vanna: Russian rose, mimosa, gardenia, bois du rose, parma violet, calla lily, red currant, ambergris, and bourbon vanilla. Haven't tried it.
Morgause: A bouquet of five night-blooming flowers deepened by dusky violet, purple fruits and the barest breath of medieval incenses. I would include this one in the "primarily violet" family. However, I liked other ones better.
Nocturne: Deepest violet touched with lilac and tuberose. I like this one, but it seems mostly lilac to me, rather than violet.
Queen Gertrude: Imperial violet softened by wisteria and chrysanthemum, but edged with the regal iciness of delphinium. I need to try this again. It did seem to be strongly violet, but it reminded me so much of Libertine that I sort of ignored it.
The Raven: Violet and neroli mingled with iris, white sandalwood and dark musk. I need to try this one again too. I don't remember it well enough to try to do a side-by-side comparison based on my memory of the scent.
Saturnalia: Violet deepened with vetiver. Smelled awful on me.
Sybaris: Bright violet with sweet clove, Mediterranean spice notes and tonka bean. I like this one a lot, but it seems like it's mostly spicy on me with just a moderate violet undertone.
Ultraviolet: Lush violet and neroli spiked hard with eucalyptus and a sliver of mint. The eucalyptus blast at the beginning really turned me off, but I like the violet+mint combination in dry-down. I think the eucalyptus will keep this from ever being a favorite for me, though.
Utrennyaya: Osmanthus, Damascus rose, violet, delphinium, white mint, palmarosa and white sandalwood. Smelled not quite right on me for some reason.
Veil: White sandalwood, lilac, gardenia, violet, orris, lavender and ylang ylang. The lilac and gardenia were strongest in this one, for me.
Venice: lemon, red currant, wisteria, red rose petals, heady jasmine, Florentine orris root, waterlily, red sandalwood, violet plum, and violet leaf. Not primarily violet, but I didn't really like it anyway.
Wings Of Azrael: Warm myrrh swirled with a bittersweet blend of violet, Lily of the Valley, juniper, cypess and cajeput. Not primarily violet at all for me, and it was only OK.
So far it seems like I like Le Serpent Qui Danse the best, but I need to re-try Libertine, Queen Gertrude, and The Raven. I don't have any of those imps.
LEs THAT CONTAIN VIOLET
The Agony Of Longing: Attar of rose, violet, white pear, Queen Elizabeth root, and freesia. I LOVE THIS ONE. Don't have a bottle of it, but I really want a bottle of it.
Bearded Lady: Turkish rose, stargazer lily, violet, honeysuckle, amber, star jasmine and vanilla. I like this a lot and have a bottle, but it doesn't smell primarily violet to me.
Crow Moon: vervain, black violet, white musk, and Chinese cedar, is brushed by the last cold wind of winter on their wings, and the scent of evergreen boughs touched by the season's final flowers and the first blossoms of spring: wintersweet, green-barked dogwood, primrose, snowdrop, and lenten rose hellebore bouquet. Like this one too (and have a bottle), but also not primarily violet.
The Darkling Thrush: Snow, darkness, and icy air illuminated by the thrush's song: warm amber, soft orris, and melancholy violet. The cold/snowy note dominates in this one. This is one for the cold/snowy decision rather than the violet decision.
Faith: Sugared violet. I like this a lot and have a bottle.
Flower Moon: a bouquet of vivid, sexy blooms… tulip, daffodil, violet, dewdrop, rhododendron, iris, daisy, and a mix of California wildflowers. Doesn't smell primarily of violet.
Melisande, The Puppet Mistress: Jasmine sambac, dark musk, violet water, vanilla bean and mimosa. The jasmine's way too strong in this for me.
Ostara: orris root, bergamot, frankincense, daffodil, orange pulp, attar of rose, jonquil, strawberry leaf, benzoin, violet leaf, copal, honey cakes, sweet cream, and the blossoms of springtime. I liked this okay, but I sold my bottle.
Purple Phoenix: myrrh, plum blossom, African violet, cognac, fig, orris, lilac, wisteria, black plum, and Burgundy wine grapes. Have a bottle, but doesn't smell mainly of violet to me.
Rose Moon: Bulgarian rose, tea rose, violet leaf, opium poppy, Bois de Jasmin, patchouli leaf, honey, blue lilac, balsam, woodruff, and lemon peel. Largely rose, not violet.
Taurus 2007: Rose, daisy, apple blossom, violet, poppy, columbine, thyme, and mint. Not primarily violet, and it's not my fave. I'm trying to sell my bottle.
White Moon: Lilac, calla lily, wisteria, white sandalwood, moonflower, night musk, phlox, and violet. I like this, but it's definitely more of a white floral than a violet scent.
So! Favorite LEs are The Agony of Longing and Faith. If I had my choice the only primarily violet blend I'd ever wear is The Agony of Longing, but I don't have a bottle of it. Faith is pretty, and I have a bottle, but I like the Possets Silver Violets scent just as much if not more than Faith.
Verdict on Favorite Violet Scent: The Agony of Longing.
I know a lot of people think that cat-macro-speak is really cute and funny, and I'm glad that people are enjoying themselves.
Personally, though, I really dislike it. A lot. It was sort of cute the first time I saw a cat macro about a year ago, but it got old fast, and now it's pretty much into clenched teeth territory.
It wasn't so bad when the macro thread first came out and it was contained just to that thread, but that way of writing and arranging words/letters has now leaked into posts in other threads and it's been showing up on the LJ BPAL communities too. It's gone beyond just being annoying for me. I can ignore it if it happens once in a while, but all of a sudden it's everywhere.
I guess that means I have to avoid the forums and the LJ communities for a while. It's kind of weird because I feel like I've put up with lots of things -- being swaplifted, being snarked at, trying to avoid the drama -- and in the end it was cat-macro-speak that ended up being more than I could deal with.
Hubby and I have too much stuff. It's taking over our house. I am something of a packrat (if by "something of a" you might mean "HUGE")... I have:
- bright fuschia-colored socks that were in style for about a minute in 1986. They don't have holes and are still kinda cushiony (probably because I've worn them twice), so I never got rid of them. With the exception of a few pairs, most of my socks can be dated to the early- or mid-90s.
- underwear that I bought 10 years ago. If it still fits and doesn't have any holes, I still have it. Those account for, and I'm not kidding, at least 40% of my underwear drawer.
- any piece of paper that hasn't been written on. If there's 2 pages left in the pad of paper, I keep it. This includes spiral notebooks from college (which was 15 years ago).
- casette tapes I've had since college. I had a vast tape collection before CDs. I meant to replace them with CDs, and I did, for most of the ones I listened to most frequently. And now we're in the age where even CDs are being phased out... and yet I still have casette tapes.
- VHS tapes. Same thing. I haven't looked at a VHS tape since we moved into this house 4.5 years ago. But I still have every VHS tape I ever bought.
- clothing. I keep everything I've ever bought unless it is too worn to wear. I have sizes from 5 to 18, small to 2X. Some of them still have tags. And let's not talk about concert/band t-shirts.
- and just plain crap. Half a cross-stitch thing I never finished. Half a bottle of shampoo I stopped using in 1998. A metric ton of various candle holders I never use. Junk I bought on various vacations. Books I read half of and will never pick up again. CDs I bought 12 years ago and are still in plastic.
This crap has got to go. We have a four-bedroom house with a basement, and it's FULL. We are two people. This is no way to live.
My sister (a single mom, she and her son live in a house they share with my mother) is currently unemployed and is wondering how she's going to make her car payment. I take one look around my house and see the answer. This is a great incentive for de-crapifying my house. It would benefit my sister.
So I called her up the other night and said, "Hey, if I give you a bunch of stuff, would you be willing to sell it on eBay and keep the money for yourself?" She said sure. I told her I'd come over next weekend or the one after with the stuff. I bet she has no idea that my Subaru Outback will be FULL of boxes of clothes, DVDs, CDs, and books. She's in for a surprise.
Andrabell's recent blog entry made me think about why I like to write blogs -- I started replying to her blog and then I realized that was WAY too much for a comment so I'm transferring it over here.
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Here's why I write personal stuff in blogs and LJ: I'm extremely indecisive and I like to talk through things with other people, in case they have ideas or points that I just haven't thought of. Or maybe they can see possible outcomes of decisions that I haven't considered. Or maybe sometimes I just want to hear "Yeah, you're on the right track."
The thing is, I just don't have very many real friends. Except for my three sisters and my husband, I have a total of three friends. One of them is a male drinking-buddy type that I see once every few months, one of them is a super-busy role model type (also male) that I talk to about my plans and ambitions, and the other one is so wrapped up in her own self and her own problems that mainly our friendship consists of her calling me and me listening to her. As far as "girlfriends" go, I am extremely lacking. I haven't chatted on the phone or in person with anyone about my own problems/issues in months. Literally.
In real life it's hard for me to make friends. I don't seem to have much in common with most women I meet, and men usually have wives or girlfriends who disapprove of them hanging out with me. I'm extremely introverted, and I'm a housewife who leaves the house twice a week to go to class (plus running errands and stuff like that). Even if I did make friends easily, I don't have much opportunity to meet anyone. The women I've met through the forums and LJ have pretty much become my "real life" friends.
I was watching the movie Tombstone yesterday, and in it a guy asks Doc Holliday why he puts his life on the line for Wyatt Earp. Doc says it's because Wyatt is his friend. The guy says "Hell, I've got lots of friends." Doc says: "I don't."
I guess most people have a network of friends they can call up and talk to whenever they want. I don't.
Bleah. I feel crappy. Several people I know feel crappy. Why does January always suck?
People have taken down their Christmas lights, and there's only a dusting of snow on the ground right now, so when I'm driving around everything just looks stark and icky. I wish that "Christmas lights" were actually "winter lights" and people would leave them up for the entire winter. I can't stand the interval between having no Christmas lights and spring. It's so bleak and dreary. Another two months of this. Gah.
The sky is white instead of blue. No birds are singing. The only thing I smell outside is automobile exhaust.
Probably what I need to do is start a fire in the fireplace, hang some colorful Christmas tree lights all throughout my family room, burn a yummy-scented tart, bake some bread, and load up some energetic happy music on the stereo.
But I don't have the energy for that, so I'll settle for happy music and a yummy tart.
I'm really enjoying my psychology class. It's Psych 110, just the basics. I resist the temptation to play amateur psychologist armed with only half a quarter of 100-level knowledge (because it ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME when college kids think they're an expert on a subject after taking one semester of it), but my professor has a PhD in cognitive psych from the University of Chicago and she's a damn smart woman to boot, so I trust what she says.
Last night we were talking about motivation and emotion. She was discussing the various reasons why people are motivated for certain behaviors, and she briefly touched on compulsive shopping and hoarding. Her explanation was that people use this behavior to fill the void in their lives that is usually caused by depression. If someone experiences a sadness mood, they are motivated to change circumstances in their lives. Some people misdirect this motivation into changing material things in their lives (selling a bunch of their own crap on eBay and then buying a bunch of other stuff) rather than changing the things that SHOULD be changed (i.e. their partner, their job, whatever). Ultimately this makes the person more depressed because they've just racked up a bunch of new bills and the new material things didn't make a difference to their depression.
I was all set to get defensive and huffy about this because I hoard perfumes and bath/body stuff, and I also sell stuff I don't want and buy things that other people didn't want. I don't think it has anything to do with trying to fill a void that's caused by depression -- I actually LIKE swapping and hoarding. I feel very pleased and happy when I look at all my BPAL bottles. They're little bottles of beauty, and I'm glad that they're in my life.
If I feel particularly sad one day and I try to soothe myself by buying a BPAL bottle from somebody's swap post, I don't think I should feel bad about it from someone telling me that I'm screwed up psychologically for doing this. Dammit that perfume DOES make me feel better, and I love the anticipation of waiting for some lovely BPAL to show up in my mailbox.
So as I was feeling all defensive and ready to raise my hand and tell the professor "You're WRONG, I indulge in retail therapy on occasion and it's not due to depression it's because I LIKE IT."
And then she said, "People who exhibit this behavior will buy 40 sweaters in one day and never even take them out of the bags, they'll stash the bags in hiding places around the house so that their significant others won't see them. They get no pleasure from actually having the things they bought, they just feel a compulsive need to buy something. Then they'll have no money when it's time to pay the rent or the electric bill or the car payment, so their depression becomes even worse."
Oh. THAT kind of compulsive shopping. Um, yeah. That's not the kind that I do.
[see previous entries for what I'm doing here.]
Coconut's a tricky note for me. I like it a lot when it's a minor note in the scent, but when it's a major note sometimes it smells either too much like suntan lotion or like Fruit Loops (generally the fig + coconut combination does that on me). I'm going to try to figure out which primarily coconut scent is my favorite, but my all-time favorite blend that has coconut in it is Snake Charmer (which just has the barest hint).
GCs THAT CONTAIN COCONUT
Black Pearl: Coconut, Florentine iris, hazelnut and opalescent white musk. This one has a lot of coconut in it -- the kind that reminds me of suntan lotion.
Blood Pearl: soft orris, blood musk, and coconut. Dry papery orris and a wonderful sexy musk. The coconut rounds out the scent nicely in this one.
Brown Jenkins: dusty white sandalwood and orris root, dry coconut husk, creeping musk, and the residue of ceremonial incense. Dry and incensey, with a hint of coconut. I really like that white sandalwood and the cocounut husk. It's light and sweet, dry and hazy. The coconut in this one is light and incredibly gorgeous.
Eden: fig leaf, fig fruit, honeyed almond milk, toasted coconut and sandalwood. A sweet, warm, nice scent -- but definitely of the Fruit Loops variety.
Elegba: coconut, tobacco and sweet, sugared rum. Very reminiscent of Pina Coladas at first, but when it's dry the tobacco comes out a little. Tropical and sweet. Nice blend.
Obatala: milk, coconut meat, shea butter and cool, refreshing water. On me this smells like a cross between suntan lotion and overly creamy coconuts. I know other people love this one, but it wasn't so hot on me.
The Sailor's Den: Orris, bay rum, palm, coconut meat, oak wood, tobacco, linen, blue lilac, and leather. Quiet, subdued, and pleasant. The coconut and rum smell very good here. Classy. This is a great, unusual, all-purpose sort of scent. You could wear this anywhere and it would be perfectly appropriate.
Shango: red apples, banana, chili pepper, coconut, pineapple, pomegranate and sugar cane. The coconut in this one gives it an extremely pleasant creamy background. I love this scent and have a bottle of it, but I wouldn't call it primarily coconut. It's in the background here.
Shoggoth: white amber, green coconut meat, iris, palmarosa, Chinese peony, lime, water lily, snowdrop, muguet, lemongrass, osmanthus, wisteria, glassy musk, and hinoki. The lemongrass in this one killed it for me. My skin amps lemongrass so much I practically couldn't smell anything else.
Also, although not mentioned in the notes list, Perversion definitely smells like coconut to me. I bought a 10ml bottle over a year ago and I've been letting it age (because I read that aging will make the coconut scent die down a lot), but it's still strongly coconut-scented. I've noticed in both Blood Pearl and in Perversion that the coconut scent died out a lot faster in an imp than in a 10ml bottle. I bought 10mls of both Blood Pearl and Perversion after trying imps, and the coconut was so strong in the 10mls that I couldn't wear them. I sold the Blood Pearl bottle a while back because I like Perversion better, but the Perversion bottle still isn't to the stage at which I can wear it yet.
In addition, the Tarot blend The Star and the Qliphoth blend Gamaliel both smelled a little Fruit-Loopy to me, so I think they have some coconut in as well.
Of the GCs, I really like Perversion, Blood Pearl, Brown Jenkins, and The Sailor's Den. I'm having a hard time choosing a favorite between Brown Jenkins and The Sailor's Den, but I think I'm going to go with Brown Jenkins.
LEs THAT CONTAIN COCONUT
Antonino, The Carny Talker: White musk, wild plum, vetiver, black coconut, verbena, fig, and lavender. I forgot to write a review of this before I sold it. Shoot. But I know the reason I sold it was that the verbena was too strong in it for me, so this isn't a "primarily coconut" contender.
Carnaval Diabolique: Opium smoke, lemon flower, heliotrope, tuberose, black musk, vanilla, coconut, apricot flower. Whoops, I didn't write a review for this one, either. But also not a primarily coconut one. More of a smoky floral.
Creepy: butterscotch-kissed, caramel-smothered red apples spiked with a blast of coconut rum. Nice but mostly apples, not coconut.
Dark Delicacies: devil’s trumpet accord, black orchid, tonka, coconut meat, fruit gums, osmanthus, smoky resin, myrtle, and Indonesian patchouli. This is a gorgeous scent, but I don't think the coconut is prominent at all.
Death Adder: Snake Oil with vetiver, black coconut, vanilla, and opoponax. Ahhh, this one smells great. Similar to Snake Charmer but with vetiver.
King Of Spades: oakmoss, vetiver and opoponax with black plum, wild blackberry, soft woods, sharp and glinting white musk under a soft, velvety robe of vanilla and coconut. I can't remember what this smells like off the top of my head, but I know the coconut isn't pronounced. My husband wears KoS, and he's not very fond of coconut scents, so it can't be very strong at all.
Monster Bait: Underbed: Cassia-caked cocoa coconut over angel food cake. I smelled no coconut in this. It was all cassia, all the time.
Red Lantern: Golden amber, blonde tobacco, Sudanese black coconut, rich caramel, black currant, white opium and delphinium laced with a sensual blend of Asian spice. This one smells mostly like spicy caramel on me, not so much coconut.
Snake Charmer: Arabian musk and exotic spices slinking through Egyptian amber, enticing vanilla, and a serpentine blend of black plum, labdanum, ambrette, benzoin and black coconut. This one's probably my #1 favorite BPAL oil, but I can't say the coconut in it is enough to qualify it for a "primarily coconut" scent.
Spooky: warm, buttery rum, cocoa, coconut, vanilla and a jolt of peppermint. This one's a smooth peppermint on me, and not much coconut.
Treat #2: fig meat, coconut, and "buttercream bonbon," rolled in orange rind, mint leaf, cardamom, clove and ginger, dipped in milk chocolate. Very much a Fruit-Loopy scent on me.
Also, although not mentioned in the notes, Milk Moon 05 also had a slight coconut twinge to it.
Out of the LEs, I kind of have to pick Treat #2 by default because it's the only one in which the coconut seems prominent. However, I don't like Treat #2 any more than I like Eden from the GC.
Verdict on Favorite Coconut Scent: Brown Jenkins
I've been inspired by the recent spate of blogs about bringing out the inner sex kitten, so...
I woke up my husband at 4:00 in the morning for purposes of sex.
This was a pretty common thing when we were first together, but after six and a half years it's not as common as it probably should be. I'm not even sure if you can say "not as common" if it's like once in three years.
When he got home told me he was tired at work all day today but he was also happy. Maybe I should do that more often.
Next on my sexy agenda: Tweezing my eyebrows into pinup-style arches!
Sometimes I worry about my nose. My sense of smell, I mean. Particularly about perfume.
The problem is that over the past year and a half or so I've tried so much BPAL that I can discern notes. I guess that's a good thing, but it's also kind of a bad thing.
Like, grapefruit. I used to dislike it, but I've grown to like it. I remember when I first started trying BPAL oils, when I smelled grapefruit I'd think, "Ugh. Who wants to smell like breakfast. Bleah. Next!" And now I've tried so many grapefruit ones that I appreciate that sparkle it can give to a scent. There's really nothing like it. Manhattan is one of my favorite scents.
But, when I wear it, do people who aren't used to grapefruit scents think, "Ugh! Why does she want to smell like breakfast? Bleah."
There have been many times that I get an imp and look up my old notes where it says that I thought it smelled like bathroom cleaner or lemon pledge or something else undesirable. And then I smell it again a year later with my trained nose and think something like, "Say, that's quite a nice tea and lemon scent, I wonder why I thought it smelled like lemon pledge before?" And then I start wearing it.
Maybe it really still smells like lemon pledge to most people but I just can't tell anymore?
I don't want to walk around feeling like I smell like a playful berry with a hint of some herb but in actuality I just smell like bathroom air freshener. I can smell nuances, but can other people? I honestly don't know. When I started collecting BPAL I couldn't tell. It smelled good, bad, strong, cheerful, spicy, odd, musty, citrusy, etc. There was no "gosh, I really love the grapefruit peeking out from under the violet, and the white sandalwood underneath it is a subtle but warm touch." It would have been "This smells funky. Pass."
I hope I'm not walking around smelling weird but thinking I smell fantastic.
OK, I admit it. I've been over on the LJ BPAL Wank Thread for the past 2 hours reading other people's garbage. I'm repulsed by it and drawn to it at the same time.
Actually, I think some of it was basically right on the money. The problem is that the actual substance was buried in dumb insults and just over-the-top ranting. And I honestly do see the need for letting off steam about stuff that is irritating, especially to people who might agree with you... but there was a lot of naming names by anonymous people, and I don't think that's very cool. If you're going to name someone else in a complaint, name yourself too. Just my opinion.
The Carnaval is awesome, the Salon updates look wonderful, and I can't wait to try the new Wanderlust scents. Everyone involved has been working so much to get this accomplished, and they must be so excited for it to actually be live.
And I'm really irritated that I've been watching that hijack thread about the people complaining about the price changes going into effect early. I shouldn't have done that. Now instead of feeling happy I feel pissed.
I'm thankful we got any warning about the price increases at all -- I can't think of any other business owner who has warned me a few days in advance of increasing her prices. It appears that the only reason Beth did that is that she cares about her customers and wanted to give people one last chance at the prices that were sending her business into insolvency. For people to be complaining about that kind of generosity, mainly because their own personal circumstances prevented them from being able to take advantage of it, seems undeservedly harsh.
And the nit-picking about the hours is very strange. I didn't hear one single person complain that the CD banner on the BPAL site said it would be coming in JULY of this year and it didn't. No one said "That's untruthful and bad business practices and when I tell my clients something will happen on such-and-such day it happens." (Which, let's be real, can't possibly be true. I worked in the business world for 12 years and precious little happened exactly when it was supposed to.) And yet when it comes to a $2.50 price increase, suddenly people want to quibble over a few hours. In fact they want to quibble about it SO BADLY they write multiple insulting posts about it and in general bring down the whole squeefest excitement of update night and try to make Beth feel like crap on what should be one of the best nights of her whole year.
I call Bad Form.
Although I like my in-laws, sometimes I feel very uncomfortable in their house. I get tired of being interrupted mid-sentence to be told, "Let's talk about something else," or "New topic!" It appears that new additions to the list of things not to be discussed in front of them are: human anatomy, common cold symptoms (I'm not talking snot here, I mean saying that your throat feels dry and scratchy), and dogs accidentally becoming pregnant.
If anything could be construed as even slightly gross or possibly related to sex in some way, apparently it's entirely off-limits.
My husband's mom asked me how my classes were going, and when I started talking about the anatomy paper I wrote about macular degeneration, she asked what causes it. I began to tell her that it's often caused by blood vessels bursting or leaking, and oh no, that sounds AWFUL, I can't talk about that. While we were having this conversation and she was telling me that she didn't want to hear anything that "sounds awful," she was tearing apart a cooked turkey with her bare hands and splitting it up into storage containers. I shit you not.
Look, I've got no problem with being proper and avoiding certain topics. I don't waltz in there and start describing the way my dog's poo has looked strange lately or give graphic descriptions of gunshot wounds. But it's gotten to the point where I feel like every time I open my mouth they tense up and wait for something even remotely unsuitable to come out so they can shout "New topic!" at me.
They really pride themselves on having what they think are good manners. Thus the restricted conversation topics. At some point I will probably tell them that their methods of telling people that a topic is inappropriate are exceedingly BAD MANNERS. A cultured person would gracefully redirect the conversation or excuse himself or herself and go to another room.
But, these are the same people who hang up the phone without saying "Good bye," blow their noses at the table, and drop quotes from Rush Limbaugh into the conversation. They think it's perfectly fine to attempt to correct an adult's behavior the same way you'd correct a child. His mom knows that I like crossword puzzles and has seen me working on them about 80 times, and yet a couple of days ago she felt the need to go on for five minutes about how crossword puzzles are a complete waste of time and she prefers words in sentences arranged in a book.
So probably I expect too much.
One thing I hardly ever talk about is politics. I'm not the type of person who likes to get involved in endless debates between groups of people who will never agree, and all the name-calling and finger-pointing depresses me a lot. I've learned to keep my mouth shut about these things at family functions because both my family and my husband's are Republican and devoutly Catholic. There are certainly aspects of their views that I respect -- they're not fanatics, and they're not ill-informed. They just have different priorities and principles than I have. They don't preach their views at me, and I give them the same courtesy. I'm pretty comfy in this setup. Live and let live, as it were.
I'm not a demonstrator, a protestor, or an activist. I write letters and emails, and occasionally I give a little bit of money, but in general I stay away from public rallies and things of that nature.
So! Lil' ol' politics-shy filigree_shadow received an email from Barack Obama's exploratory committee a few minutes ago suggesting that I might be interested in attending an event in Springfield, IL, on Saturday morning. They say he will be making an announcement concerning his presidential campaign. I can only guess, judging by the list of locations currently on his tour schedule (Iowa next, and then New Hampshire), that he will, in fact, be announcing that he definitely is going to run.
For the first time in my life, I actually want to go to an event like this. Springfield is about three hours away by car. I have no plans for Saturday. The only thing stopping me from going is possibly inclement weather.
I've never heard Obama speak in public, and I'd like to. Of course, there's also an Obama Rally in Chicago on Sunday afternoon, which is much closer to me, so perhaps I should just go to that.
Still, I'd kinda like to go to the Springfield announcement. It could end up being an historical event.
[see previous entries for what I'm doing here.]
Honey in large doses is not great for me. It tends to give me a play-doh scent. That's why picking a favorite scent that's primarily honey is a bit problematic for me. When it's a minor note usually it seems to lend a very pretty smoothness to the scent, so I like to try BPAL blends that contain honey. But sometimes the honey is too much. It's not just BPAL, either; I have this problem with pretty much every perfume oil brand I've tried. I guess my skin just doesn't like it.
So, in a departure from the norm (in picking a scent that is primarily one particular note), I'm going to choose just my favorite one that has honey in it that's detectable. I already know going into it that the primarily honey ones will not be favorites.
GCs THAT CONTAIN HONEY:
Alice: Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot. Aaaaand this list starts off with a play-doh one. I can't wear this one.
And There Was A Great Cry In Egypt: Dark myrrh, white sandalwood, amber, hyssop, frankincense, honey, cypress, red musk, cardamom and saffron. This one is spicy, sweet, and complex... but I can't really detect honey in it.
Athens: voluptuous myrrh, golden honey, red wine, and sweet flowers. I tried this one twice and didn't like it either time. I don't have any idea what is going wrong for me with this scent because based on the notes it should have been okay. The honey was behaving itself nicely... but after an hour or so it smelled off. In a big way.
Bengal: skin musk with honey, peppers, clove, cinnamon bark and ginger. Apparently honey WITH strong spices is a winner for me. This one is lovely. Usually cinnamon is too strong on me, but the hot cinnamon and smooth honey really balance out each other. Very nice.
Bien Loin D'ici: red musk, benzoin, caramel accord, golden honey, and spiced Moroccan unguents. Ah, red musk. How do I love thee. Oh, wait, right, I'm talking about honey. Yes, the honey in this is detectable, and it's GORGEOUS. I really like this scent a lot. Sultry, sexy, and smooth.
Bilquis: Honey, myrrh, lily of the valley, rose otto, fig leaf, almond, ambrette, red apple, and warm musk. Lovely. This blend is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about in which honey can be beautiful on me when its just an undercurrent that makes the scent warm and rich. In this particular one, the almonds are much too strong for my taste at first, but luckily they fade. That initial almond blast will keep it from being a favorite, though.
Blood Kiss: Vanilla, honey, clove, red cherries, vetiver, poppy, red wine, and feral musk. I like this one, but I can't detect the honey in it. It does seem smooth underneath, but that could be from either vanilla or honey, I'm not sure which.
Cleopatra Testing Poisons On Those Condemned To Death: Accords of peach kernel, hemlock, aconite, and belladonna, with bitter almond, saffron, honey, myrrh, hyssop, frankincense, and palm. Oops, I haven't tested this one yet.
Cockaigne: milk and honey, sweet cakes and wine. This one and one other BPAL GC scent with milk and honey do NOT smell bad on me. This smells like ... well, exactly like the notes. I don't wear it, though, because although I like lotions and creams that are foody scented, usually not perfumes so much.
Cupid Complaining To Venus: Apple blossom, fig, white peach, honey absolute, red sandalwood, and wild thyme. I like the scent of this one, but it's extremely faint. It doesn't last long at me at all. That keeps it from being a favorite.
Dana O'shee: Milk, honey and sweet grains. This is one of the ones in which the honey is too strong for me. This smells off on me.
The Death of Sardanapal: Red wine, gurjum balsam, dark myrrh, honey, cassia, lemongrass, palmarosa, elemi, cognac and olibanum. Oops, I didn't write a review of this yet. Hmm. Hope I still have that bottle.
Delphi: The smoke of Sacred Incense of Apollo twined through laurel branches, bay, and honey wine. This one smelled mostly like grape juice on me. Didn't like it too much.
Eve: Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey. I think this one is a nice scent, but I can't smell any honey in it.
Hellcat hazelnut, buttercream, honey mead, rum and sweet almond. This one's more of a nutty creamy rum scent to me, not honey.
Hetairae: golden honey, fiery patchouli, sweet fig and clove, and a blushing touch of ylang ylang. Mostly a honeyed fig scent, on me, with some kick from the clove. It's a great scent, and I do like it, but it'll be more of a contender in the favorite fig one.
Horreur Sympathique: blood musk, golden honey, thick black wine, champagne grapes, tobacco flower, plum blossom, tonka bean, oakmoss, carnation, benzoin, opoponax, and sugar cane. This is sweet and lovely, and I like it a lot. The honey isn't strong, but it has a warm wonderful smoothness to it that I attribute to the honey.
Itasô Kansei Nenkan Jorô No Fûzoku Osmanthus, white honey, ti leaf, hibiscus, and sugar cane. Kind of a dewy light floral. I didn't detect honey in it.
Jezebel: A gloriously decadent blend of honey, roses, orange blossom and sandalwood. This one tends to go chalky on me (like baby aspirin) or powdery. But I can't detect any honey.
Kali: This perfume is a blend of the sacred blooms of cassia, hibiscus, musk rose, Himalayan wild tulip, lotus and osmanthus swirled with offertory dark chocolate, red wine, tobacco, balsam and honey. The honey goes wonky in this one too.
Les Bijoux: Skin musk and honey, blood-red rose, orange blossom, white peach, frankincense and myrrh. Honey and apples at first, but then I can't really smell the honey. Ends up being a light pretty floral.
O: Amber and honey with a touch of vanilla. This one is a play-doh one.
Ogun: heavy and dark cigar tobacco, gin and juniper, melon, chili pepper and a touch of honey. I really like this one, but I can't detect honey in it. Mostly melon with tobacco and a chili pepper kick.
Osun: thick with honey and herbs of love, passion and desire. I thought I liked this one a lot at first and bought a 10ml of it, but I never wear it. I can detect the honey in it, but I guess I don't really like it as well as I thought I did.
The Penitent Magdalen: Immortelle, lily of the valley, gaiac, amber, honey, white sandalwood, almond flower, blonde musk and hyssop. Haven't reviewed this one yet.
Sed Non Satiata: myrrh, red patchouli, cognac, honey, tuberose and geranium, and body musk. Can't really tell there's any honey in this.
Skuld: Ylang ylang, honey, Egyptian and Arabian musks and labdanum. Charming and bright, warm and soothing. Can't detect honey, though.
Spirit Of The Komachi Cherry Tree: Cherry blossom, blue lilac, lavender monofloral honey, white sandalwood, and Asian pear. Haven't reviewed it yet.
Sudha Segara: Sweet milk and warm, healing ginger with a touch of golden honey and our blend of Ambrosia. Amazingly, this one works on me. This is the other BPAL GC with milk and honey that does work. It smells like someone nearby has a big mug of chai and I'm catching wafts of it. I like this one a lot.
Thaleia: honey, ylang ylang, apricot, ciste, blood orange and gardenia with earthy, warm tonka. Mostly apricot and gardenia, on me. Honey isn't detectable.
White Rabbit: Strong black tea and milk with white pepper, ginger, honey and vanilla, spilled over the crisp scent of clean linen. Some days I like this one, and some days I don't. Occasionally the honey is too much for me.
Of those, the ones that are disqualified for being play-dohy are Alice, Dana O'Shee, Kali, and O. Osun and White Rabbit walk the "too much" line a little too close for my comfort.
The ones I like a lot (in which honey is detectable) are Bengal, Bien Loin D'ici, Horreur Sympathique, and Sudha Segara. Although Bien Loin D'ici is my favorite out of those, I feel like I need to pick Sudha Segara because the honey is stronger in it. It just seems like more of a "honey" scent.
LEs THAT CONTAIN HONEY:
The Brides Of Dracula: gleaming skin musk, honey and white amber, plum blossom, osmanthus, sandalwood, calla lily, and a light, sensual blend of Eastern spices. Apparently I didn't write a review of this. I like it and wear it from time to time, but it doesn't seem like I can smell the honey in it.
Hearth 2005: candied chestnuts, buttered, covered in brown sugar and honey, alongside the scent of cedar smoke and soft pine. This is really a nutty buttery scent with pine. Pleasant, but not much honey.
Honey Moon: five different honeys, ranging from pale and sweet to deep and heady, with hints of jasmine, white gardenia, Hawaiian white ginger and thyme. Not surprisingly, this one didn't smell great on me.
Faiza, The Black Mamba: black amber, caraway, oakmoss, green sandalwood, bergamot, jasmine sambac, gardenia, orange pulp, vanilla, blackberry, black musk, white honey, ti leaf, and ginger. This one was mainly floral on me -- couldn't tell there was any honey in it.
Freak Show: A strange, disconcerting embrace… to some, alarming, and to some, intimately familiar: fig, pomegranate and cocoa bean with lemon, bergamot, vanilla, mellow honey musk, calamus and tonka. Not a whole lot of honey in this one -- this is more of a fig scent.
Gennivre, L'artiste Du Diable: Hyson tea leaf, pale mint, sugar cane, orange blossom, lemongrass, and honey. This is a lovely scent, but it's really more of a tea contender, not a honey one.
La Fée Verte: Sugared wormwood, hyssop and melissa with calamus, angelica and Dittany of Crete, blended with aohemian perfume of vanilla musk, honey absolute and Moroccan spices. I love this scent, and thankfully the honey in it doesn't smell bad on me at all. I love wearing this one. It's really unusual and almost always gets a compliment from someone.
Khajuraho (2006 & 2007): honey, date palm, tuberose, davana blossom, amber, white sandalwood, vanilla bean, Damask rose, and champaca flower. Both versions (from both years) smell the same on me. It's perfumey and pretty, but I can't really tell there's honey in it.
Litha: Honey mead with honeysuckle, oak wood, ivy leaf, wild thyme, carnation, daisy, vervain, gum arabic, frankincense, yauhtli, and liquid copal. Mead yes, but honey no. Couldn't smell honey in this.
Luperci (2006 & 2007): raw, down and dirty patchouli, Gurjam balsam, and essence of Sampson Root sweetened with the heightened sexuality of beeswax, virile juniper, oakmoss, ambrette seed over honey and East African musk. The 2006 version smelled mostly like juniper, which I didn't like, and the 2007 version smells mostly like patchouli, which I do like. Neither have a detectable honey, though.
The Masque: Honey and carnation, rich incense and rose accord, myrtle, red sandalwood, amber, jonquil and clove, patchouli, tobacco and labdanum. I could barely detect any honey in this, mostly spicy flowers.
Milk Moon 2005: Cream and warm honey soften our traditional blend of lunar oils. I really, really like this one. Not wonky at all. This is lovely, creamy, and sweet. Wouldn't say it's strong on the honey, but it's so smooth and wonderful I must be picking up honey from it somehow.
Milk Moon 2007: Sweet milk, golden honey, fig fruit, pomegranate, dates, and white grape. This one I had trouble with, though. Smelled like sour milk.
The Oblation: A stirring blend of dianthus, French lavender, blackberry, and white honey. Couldn't smell honey in this. Smelled like blackberry wine to me.
Ostara: Orris root, bergamot, frankincense, daffodil, orange pulp, attar of rose, jonquil, strawberry leaf, benzoin, violet leaf, copal, honey cakes, sweet cream, and the blossoms of springtime. Couldn't smell honey in this one either.
Pink Moon 2005: This Lunar blend is soft with phlox, tulip, daffodil, dogwood and muscari, dusted with pink sugar and honey, and a touch of the first strawberries of the season. I couldn't tell there was any honey in this.
Poisson D'avril: Lenten rose, crested iris, Virginia bluebell, primrose, moss phlox, blue crocus, daffodil, and dewy tulip with a touch of sugar blossom and honey. I can't detect honey in this.
Rose Moon: Bulgarian rose, tea rose, violet leaf, opium poppy, Bois de Jasmin, patchouli leaf, honey, blue lilac, balsam, woodruff, and lemon peel. I couldn't detect any honey in this, just floral notes.
Selkie: The chill waters of the Orkney coast, tea-leaved willow, honey-touched Grass-of-Parnassus, sea aster, and Scottish Primrose. I couldn't detect any honey in this.
Svadhinaopatika: Golden amber, oude, red sandalwood, massoia bark, honey, and currant. This is one of those fabulous ones in which the honey undercurrent gives it a luxurious smoothness. I like this one.
Of those, I really liked Svadhinaopatika, Milk Moon 05, and La Fée Verte. But La Fée Verte is by far my favorite.
Verdict on Favorite Honey Scent: La Fée Verte
I just caught myself in the act of chewing a fingernail. It had a little tear in one side, and now it's gone.
This upsets me because my new year's resolution for 2006 was to stop chewing my fingernails. It's a habit I'd had since I was a kid. I bit my fingernails all the time, and my hands never looked pretty and womanly. They always looked beat-up and rough because of having terrible fingernails. So I quit. I reallly, honestly quit. I spent all of 2006 trying to figure out how to care for fingernails because I'd never had them before. They'd get long and I'd say "Wow, look at my long fingernails!" My husband would say, "Yep. Here's the nail clippers." It took me almost a year to use the clippers because I was so upset about the idea of cutting down the fingernails that I had been so good about growing. I was filing, filing, filing constantly.
This winter I've learned about nail brittleness. Almost all of my fingernails have started to get cracks on the edges, fairly far down. I tried to glue a couple of them, but that only held for a few days at the most. Plus I messed with them absent-mindedly. Yesterday I realized that so many of them had those cracks that I'd better just cut them all down. I cut them to a reasonable short length. A little white crescent moon on the ends of my fingernails.
The problem is that now they're so short they're the perfect biting height. Earlier tonight I was feeling annoyed and irritated about something, and before I knew it I'd lost a fingernail. Crap! Now I have to go through that whole agonizing torture of forcing myself NOT to mess with my fingernails all over again until these grow out. Luckily they grow fast (I never knew my fingernails grew so rapidly until I started letting them grow -- they're like weeds!), but it'll still be several weeks before I can stop thinking "DO NOT BITE FINGERNAILS!!!" in the back of my mind at all times.
But, hey. If a bitten fingernail is the worst thing to happen to me this week, that's a damn good week, in my book.
[see previous entries for what I'm doing here.]
Picking a favorite grapefruit scent is a toughie for me because I tend to like it. I didn't think I would like it, when I first started trying BPAL scents. In fact, that was during the time when several of the GC grapefruit scents were discontinued because of a component problem, and that was just fine with me because I didn't think I'd like them anyway. Imagine my surprise when I discovered I liked Cheshire Cat. Weird. Then I tried other grapefruit scents and liked those too. So now I have to admit that I do indeed like grapefruit scents. I do NOT, however, like yuzu. In fact, I really hate it. I like that pretty sparkly quality that grapefruit has, and not the harsh acidic yuzu. I'm not even going to bother doing a "favorite yuzu" because I can't stand any of them.
Grapefruit always comes out strong on me when I first put on a scent, so all of these are fair game for "primarily grapefruit scents" for me.
GCs THAT CONTAIN GRAPEFRUIT
Baobhan Sith: Grapefruit, white tea, apple blossom and ginger. I tried this one again because when I reviewed it I said I liked it but it didn't suit me... but that was back before I realized I like grapefruit. I do like the scent -- it's nice with the tea. The ginger makes it smell a bit off, though.
Cheshire Cat: Grapefruit, red currant, dark musk, Roman chamomile, delphinium, and lavender. Smooth, crisp, bright, and shiny. I have a bottle of this and wear it pretty often.
Croquet: Pink lime, pink grapefruit, white nectarine, wild rose, sage, woody patchouli, bergamot, and ornery hedgehog musk. I like this one a lot too, just like Cheshire Cat -- I'd need to do a side-by-side comparison to see which one I like better.
Megaera: Orris, black amber, bergamot, plum and grapefruit. My notes on this said it was "too citrusy for me," but I probably need to re-try it.
Manhattan: sheer amber, black leather, white mint, lemon peel, white tea, grapefruit, kush, teakwood and orchid. I like this one a lot, and I have a 10ml of it. It took a couple of tries before it grew on me, but it grew on me in a big way. My only problem with this scent is that it fades out on me more quickly than most BPAL oils do.
Mania: Screeching white musk collides with a howl of red musk, with sharp white grapefruit and pale strawberry leaf. This is another one I like a lot. It's a lot different from the others due to the red musk.
Night-gaunt: something akin to yuzu, white grapefruit, and kumquat mixed with the snow-dusted flowers of Mount Ngranek. Very, very bitter on me, and I didn't like it at all.
Phobos: Chilling white musk, lemon verbena, white grapefruit and lemongrass. The lemongrass killed this one for me.
Shattered: A blend of white champagne notes, grapefruit, lotus, slivered mint and crystalline aquatic blooms. Didn't work because the mint was way too much for me and seemed menthol-y.
Also, Versailles has "citrus" in it that smelled like grapefruit to me, but I didn't like that one. I thought Detox maybe had grapefruit in it too, and I liked that one all right, but not as perfume of course.
Out of that list, I really like Cheshire Cat, Croquet, Manhattan, and Mania. I tried them all on at once to compare them (plus Baobhan Sith), and I was surprised to discover that I like Croquet better than Cheshire Cat. And although I really like Mania, the red musk in it overpowers the grapefruit, so I can't say it's primarily a grapefruit scent on me. It's primarily red musk. However... Manhattan is the winner. I like its sleekness better than the pretty florals in Croquet.
LEs THAT CONTAIN GRAPEFRUIT
Hungry Ghost Moon: Offerings of ginger candy, sugar cane, smoky vanilla and rice wine mingle with a ghost's perfume of white sandalwood, ho wood, ti, white grapefruit, crystalline musk and aloe. This scent is tapered by the presence of seven herbs, woods and resins used in the purification of the spirit and the purging of earthly concerns from the soul. This one smells like sugary grapefruit on me, and I liked it. However... I haven't worn this in a year. (Wow, I didn't realize it had been that long.) I need to get out my bottle and test it again.
The Ectasy Of Infatuation: Black cherry, pink grapefruit, white musk, lemon verbena, champagne grape, pikaki, plumeria, and Hawaiian ginger. This one is a little too floral for me when it's dry.
Monster Bait: Biggercritters: Five vanillas with Moroccan jasmine, white gardenia, and pink grapefruit. The jasmine in this smelled pungent on me. I need to try one of the white-label bottles, though, because when I smelled one at a meet n' sniff it smelled a lot different in the bottle than the critter-label one I tried at Convergence.
Queen Of Diamonds: A glittering icicle of a woman, regal, proud and cold: shimmering white grapefruit, pale flowers and lemon bark with orchid, rose and a dash of mandarin. The grapefruit in this one seems to have disappeared. I like it, but I don't think it'll ever be my favorite grapefruit scent because I can't really smell much grapefruit in it.
Out of those, I think Hungry Ghost Moon is my favorite. But I like the GC grapefruit scents better than any of these.
Verdict on Favorite Grapefruit Scent: Manhattan
I made the awful mistake of returning to MySpace after an absence of several months. The MySpace group for my little group of college friends apparently had people flocking to it in droves while I was away, and now it's full of people I knew 15 years ago in college.
Clicked on the picture of a girl who didn't like me because she thought I caused her boyfriend to break up with her. She's gorgeous now. Clicked on the picture of a guy I dated on and off for a few years but lost touch with. He's a damn fine-looking man. Clicked on the picture of a guy who was full of himself and was a dick to me. Still looks like he's a dick. Clicked on the picture of a guy I dated for a couple of years. He's been hitting the gym. He never looked that good when he was with me.
And what do you see if you click on my photo? A dumpy-looking middle-aged woman with a stupid hairstyle who has gained 25 pounds since college and looks like a mess. Niiiiice.
I was feeling pretty embarrassed about the whole thing and ranting about it in an exaggerated fashion to my husband -- he pointed out that it is impossible for everyone I knew in college to be better-looking now than they were then. I know that. It's not everyone. Just everyone I dated. And the girls who were catty to me because I went out with the lovely sensitive goth boys that they were all swooning over. I would not be at all surprised if some of them looked at my photos and thought, "HA! She got fat and ugly. Good."
I usually don't think I look that bad. I think for whatever reason people often tend to be close to people who are more or less at the same level of attractiveness, and in my current circle of RL friends I don't feel out of my league with any of them. But when I was in college, I paid a lot more attention to my appearance. (These days I'm lucky if I'm wearing two shoes from the same pair half the time.) If there was such a thing as a beautiful people goth/skater clique at my university, I was probably in it. Those people wouldn't give me the time of day right now. They don't let you back into the beautiful goth people club if you gain 25 pounds and move to the suburbs.
In a couple of days this probably won't bother me any more, but right now I'm unhappy that I thought I was comfortable with my appearance and where I am in my life right now... and apparently I'm not. Apparently I am embarrassed by it. This revelation is unsettling to me.
I've had a horrible migraine today. I wandered out of bed for a bit here and there, but mostly I've been trying to stay as quiet as possible. However it seemed to be waning around 8:00 or so, so I decided to take a nice warm bath. I figured that since it was a special occasion I'd bust out the expensive bath products and use the last of my LUSH Christmas Kisses bubble bars -- one and a half of them (I have a big tub).
So I crawled in, deployed the bubble bars, and before I knew it the bubbles were arching over my tub in a humongous mound. Light was glinting off the bubbles in every direction, making me feel like I was snowblind. Bubbles, thousands of them, were popping and fizzing in my ears. (Did I mention I have a migraine?) The scent, which I normally love, was WAY too strong for me today. But by then I felt trapped in the tub under all those bubbles, and I didn't want to waste the last of my bubble bars by getting out of the tub, so I forced myself to stay in there until I couldn't take it any more.
When I was ready to get out I had to call my husband to help me because there were still so many bubbles that if I got out I'd have bubbles all over and they'd get on the floor and on my towel. I wanted him to rinse me off with water while I was still standing in the tub so I wouldn't be bubble-covered. He came in, and I looked down because I was embarrassed of the situation and wanted to hide my face, which is when I noticed that the water was cherry red because I had used so much bubble bar. So there I was, already irritated and upset because I'd made my headache worse, when I realized that I probably looked like a giant piece of fruit trapped in a tub-shaped cherry jello mold with whipped-cream-like bubbles everywhere. And I'd just invited my husband in to witness this spectacle.
I told him about the bubbles fizzing and light glinting and how I used too much and now I felt like fruit in a jello mold and I was nearly crying... I'm not sure that he understood what I was talking about but he tried to be very sympathetic and helpful. He was also trying not to laugh while he was rinsing the bubbles and drying me off, but a few giggles escaped. The whole thing must have been quite a sight. This is my first bath ever that was torture the whole time and ended in humiliation. He told me that I shouldn't feel bad since I had a life-long run of successful baths and only one failure so far. Somehow that didn't make it better.
Here's a strange question for you. What do you do when you realize that your professor is giving wrong answers in class?
Last quarter I had a 300-level anatomy class. This quarter I have a 100-level physiology class. This is the first time this professor has taught at Northwestern -- usually she teaches at a community college.
Last week she mis-identified a bone on her own lecture slide as a humerus when it was very clearly a femur. She sort of hemmed and hawed over it for a couple of seconds and then said humerus. So it wasn't just an oral typo.
Last night she spelled the muscle sternocleidomastoid wrong on her lecture slide, and then she mispronounced it as well. But the real kicker was that she had it up there as an example of how muscles are sometimes named based on their points of insertion. She said this muscle is named for its three insertion points: the sternum, the clavicle [both true] and... "mastication, which is chewing, which means it goes into your neck." Ummm... no. It's attached to the mastoid process, which is a piece of the temporal bone of the skull that sticks down behind your ear.
I realize she may need to simplify some explanations because it's a 100-level class, but simplify does not mean the same thing as "tell students the wrong answer." When a student asked her what the difference was between "extends the thigh" and "extends the leg" when we were talking about different muscle functions, she didn't know the answer. Our anatomy professor beat us over the head with learning to call the upper part of the lower limb the "thigh" and the lower part of the lower limb the "leg." She told us specifically not to call the whole lower limb the "leg" because that was anatomically incorrect. So why did my physiology professor not know that?
I don't know what to do here. I paid full Northwestern tuition for this class, and this is the first time at Northwestern that I felt like I was getting a crappy education for my money. All my other Northwestern professors have been stellar.
Should I go to the dean? Should I ask my advisor what I should do? I've never been in this situation before and I don't know how to approach this.
Here's something that bugs me about the BPAL community.
Whenever anyone (usually a newbie) comments or complains about long ship times from the Lab, at least four people jump down the person's throat saying things like "When I started buying BPAL we had to wait three months to get our orders. This is nothing. You should shut up and stop complaining." Or they say "It only seems long right now to people who started buying BPAL when the Lab's shipping times were shorter."
Here's the thing: The Lab's shipping time two years ago has absoultely no bearing whatsoever on whether or not a newbie is feeling excited and impatient and wants her BPAL as soon as possible.
It seems like people say things like that because they think they're defending the Lab, but it comes across to a newbie as "You're not allowed to have an opinion about ship times until you've been around for as long as I have." Or worse, "Your opinion matters less than mine does because you haven't been around for as long as I have." That's a personal insult, which is a lot different from the newbie's original comment about a business practice.
I wish people would stop saying things like that.
A couple of days ago I was reading dawndie's blog, totally engrossed in her Sixth Sense Part 1 story. I don't usually talk about things like that because for one I'm afraid people will think I'm nutters, and for two it seems very private. But I feel encouraged by what she wrote, so... here goes.
About a year ago, my husband and I were getting ready for work one morning after it had been raining all night. He was in the shower, I was in the bedroom. Midway through his shower, he thought I was in the bathroom because he heard the sink faucet turn on. When he got out and didn't see me standing there, he yelled at me for leaving the sink on. Problem is, I didn't turn it on. And it's not like I could have left it on and forgotten -- we have double sinks in the master bath, and it was his sink that was on. I never use his sink. We have the kind of knobs that you have to turn clockwise to turn on the water, and it was full-blast. We had no idea how it happened and discussed having a plumber come out to look at it.
When my husband was leaving, he set the alarm as usual, then went in the garage and got halfway to his car door when he realized he forgot his lunch. When he came back in the door a few seconds later, the alarm went off. The whole shebang with sirens and bells, not just that buzzing noise that it does when you open the door and you have 30 seconds to turn it off. It doesn't do that. That's not supposed to be possible. You're always supposed to get 30 seconds of leeway whenever you open a door. When I heard the alarm sound I came flying downstairs to find out what was going on. He was standing there looking at the alarm panel. He turned and looked at me with this confused look on his face and said "What the hell is going on around here today?" He told me what had happened, and I couldn't figure it out either.
I started to walk back upstairs, and when I got to the bottom of the stairs I heard water running. I yelled out, "Oh great, now the faucet has started up again." I started up the stairs, and quickly realized I wasn't hearing the faucet. I came back down slowly as my husband was coming around the corner. I said, "The faucet's not on. What's that noise then?" We stood there for a couple of seconds, and then I said, "Oh, wait. It's the sump pump. We had all that rain last night." He brightened and started to say something, probably to agree with me, when his face suddenly changed. He said, "I haven't heard the sump pump at all this morning." (Our sump pump makes this really loud THUNK noise when it switches off -- you can hear it all the way upstairs in the bedroom.)
He ran down to the basement to see what was going on, and that's when he discovered that the sump pump was broken. Water was already coming out of the pit into the basement. We looked at each other strangely, and he said, "If we had both gone to work this morning, we would have come home to a flooded basement." We looked around at all our boxes of stuff that we store down there, and we both felt a bit of a panic. Anyway, he wound up calling the plumber, and I agreed to work from home until the plumber arrived.
Right after he left the house (he tried opening the door again, no sirens this time), our dog Prudence started going nuts in her crate in the family room. Barking, whining, scratching at the door. She never does that. She was specifically trained to be quiet in her crate. Even after I said, "No" and "Quiet," she kept barking. By then I was pretty freaked out by all this weirdness, so I let her out of the crate. She ran straight into the kitchen and started barking at the stove. I've never seen her behave like that. She wasn't growling, just barking. I thought maybe someone had left food on the counter and she wanted it, but there was nothing there. Everything in the kitchen looked exactly the same as it does every day. She trotted off, and then turned around and came back and barked some more at the same spot.
I opened the fridge to get a drink, and after I shut the door I turned around and looked at the kitchen counter again. I noticed that one of the demitasse cups had been knocked over, and the water that was in it had dumped out on the counter. I am 100% positive it wasn't like that before I opened the fridge. I checked the counter when Prudence was barking! Those cups don't just tip over, they're short and squat. And Prudence hadn't been charging into the cupboard or anything -- there was no huge bump that could have knocked it over.
Then... nothing. The rest of the day, no weirdness. And nothing that strange has ever happened in our house since. I didn't feel anything spine-tingly the whole time. I didn't feel like I was being watched, I didn't feel like I was in danger -- nothing like that. I wasn't afraid. The bizarreness of it freaked me out, sure, but it didn't make me feel like the house was creepy. Actually I felt safe. Kind of protected.
I don't know who or what was here that day, but ever since then I have always knocked on the basement door before I go down there. It seems polite. Just in case.
I love Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe books. I think I've read almost all of them. They're funny and clever, and I like the characters.
My husband recently bought some Nero Wolfe TV shows on DVD -- apparently this was a series that A&E produced at some point in the last few years. When he told me that he was getting them I raised an eyebrow and expressed skepticism. I told him that I seriously doubted they could find any actor who could pull off Nero Wolfe, and since Archie Goodwin is my favorite Stout character I didn't want to see him butchered by some Hollywood ignoramuses who probably never even bothered to read the books.
What a surprise. I love this series. The guy who plays Wolfe (Maury Chaykin) does a fantastic job. He's a little more shouty than I pictured Wolfe, and he's also not quite as heavy as I pictured Wolfe. But other than that he's very good.
Archie Goodwin is spot on. Timothy Hutton plays him, and he's also one of the producers. I think he does some directing, too. This guy, obviously, has read these books. He's perfect as Archie Goodwin, too. He looks like Archie and talks like Archie and is basically exactly right. I'm very impressed.
On top of all that, they stick to the stories as perfectly as they can in this format, and they even use Stout's dialog. They don't take many liberties. And the whole thing is very pretty. The sets are beautiful and the lighting is lovely.
All in all, this is a highly successful adaptation. Apparently A&E cancelled it after only a couple of seasons, which is a great disappointment. I would have loved to see a lot more of these.
Hunh. I didn't know they could do that. I mean, I guess somewhere in the back of my head it must have registered that maintainers can shut down comms, but I was totally surprised by the announcement. To be honest I didn't know that Beth started alchemylab, I figured that some people started it with her blessing and she jumped in from time to time to make comments or suggestions.
It seems a drastic step, which makes me wonder how bad it's gotten for Beth and the Lab. I seriously bet there are times when she just wants to scream at everyone for being such nitpicky demanding dumbasses. (I just hope she's never wanted to scream at me for being said dumbass.)
Personally, I think that shutting it down is a great idea. Hell, if I ran a business and maintained a comm associated with my business, and the comm was full of people jacking up the prices on my products and selling them to make profits, and talking trash about my business and each other, I'd want to shut it down too.
I know that some people are upset because they feel like they'll lose touch with some folks they had gotten to know, but for the most part I think those of us who like to talk to each other are over here on the forums anyway. Hopefully the people who like the "community" aspect of alchemylab will come on over.
