I feel like a missed the boat sometimes. I was always a late bloomer, so that's probably why I'm 'late' to getting married, and thusly will be 'late' having kids.

I know how you feel -- in a society where women are often defined by their uteri, if you decide not to have kids the first question is almost always "Why not?" It's your personal decision, just like your job.

I guess it boils down to finding your own path -- if you are fulfilled in your marriage, your job, or your home, you most certainly are not a "slacker."

I feel like a missed the boat sometimes. I was always a late bloomer, so that's probably why I'm 'late' to getting married, and thusly will be 'late' having kids.

DarkityMa didn't get married until she was 29, and had Snarky when she was 32... so Snarky shouldn't be feeling any kind of rush (in fact, the Darkity'Rents have been very supportive about the possibility of the Snarks being Childfree (so long as there's still hope with DarkityBro)). But sometimes she still does have a weird "left behind" guilt... which feels a lot like survivor's guilt for some reason.

I know how you feel -- in a society where women are often defined by their uteri, if you decide not to have kids the first question is almost always "Why not?" It's your personal decision, just like your job.

 

I guess it boils down to finding your own path -- if you are fulfilled in your marriage, your job, or your home, you most certainly are not a "slacker."

Snarky is happy with her home and her marriage... the job thing is still being tweaked... sometimes she feels resentful and boorishly American for identifying herself and others too strongly with what she does for money. Then again, it is a rather large chunk of her life...

Perhaps she will try to gain ownership of the term "slacker" just as she has been trying to rehabilitate "bitch" and "chink".

About 4 years ago, a friend admitted to me that she and her husband were trying for their first baby, my immediate resonse was, "But people our age don't have kids on purpose!"

Then I realized that we were about 23 years old, and plenty of people our age did, in fact, have kids on purpose.

That was a shocker, though none of my close high school or college friends, not even her, have actually procreated yet, and we are certainly inching up on turning 30.

About 4 years ago, a friend admitted to me that she and her husband were trying for their first baby, my immediate resonse was, "But people our age don't have kids on purpose!"

 

Then I realized that we were about 23 years old, and plenty of people our age did, in fact, have kids on purpose.

 

That was a shocker, though none of my close high school or college friends, not even her, have actually procreated yet, and we are certainly inching up on turning 30.

It only gets worse! One of The Mister's old college buddies is expecting their FOURTH child.

So far, there has only been one divorce (and re-marriage)... though there might be a second on the horizon in their circle of friends.

Snarky finds some consolation in the fact that they have two cats and are in their second house.

Then again, the "having babies" window is always getting extended further and further into our Golden Years... so there's always a chance... (though Snarky is beginning to seriously doubt it. Plus who wants to be sixty when their child graduates high school?) (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) (Mostly.)