One of my favourite movies is about quantum physics. It's one of those mid-level films that a lot of people heard about and then promptly forgot. What the Bleep do we Know? There are little touches to the movie that I love-- glimpsing herself, the crazy mad scientist looking guy, and of course the water.

What we believe creates our own reality, says the movie.

It's also impacted by collective belief; we are not islands.

So, yeah. I totally believe that I'm filthy rich and unchanged by money and seriously, no monkey's paw clauses. That shit freaks me right out.

I'm honestly trying to change my view of myself, though. It has to start small, or it won't work with me. I have to really convince myself.

Not that I'm wealthy or that I can fly or anything; just that I can deal with life better and respond to the needs of people around me without losing who I am.

Anyway. Enough quantum physics.

We had therapy today. Things need to change, but the ways we can go about making those changes are limited. Suggesting hospitalization is all well and good, but we checked that option out months ago. Hopefully having the therapist as an advocate in the matter will open some doors, but there's a lot of red tape. We're having to retrace the steps we took months ago, and that's frustrating, because none of those steps helped at the time.

It's absurd to suggest that he start the process of moving out onto his own. He's barely existing with us prodding him to take a freaking shower. Put him into a situation where he's alone, and it's just going to end badly. Not to mention he doesn't even have a job, his credit is shot, and he's not particularly interested in finding a job. So unless we're talking about him moving out to live under the bridge, it's not viable.

So what is viable? If those two things are out, what next?

I wish I knew.