Fellow virgo control freak checking in (or maybe I should say Vulcan). I think that if you do have a curiosity about things, you will eventually stumble upon something that does resonate with you, even if it seems illogical. There's no point in trying to force something that doesn't seem right to you. Just don't stop being curious!

I feel the same way actually. I tried the whole wiccan thing for a while, but realized I just felt stupid. Same goes for a whole of other things. I want to believe, because part of really wants these things to be real. But I know they aren't, and right when I think I've come to terms with it, I realize I still feel somewhat empty. I think tarot cards have somewhat filled that void that for just because from my perception it taps into your subconciousness, not some sort of magical power, and that allows me to both transcend the daily while still being rational.

I guess my two cents are, don't feel obliged to believe in anything. If it doesn't seem rational, chances are it isn't rational. There are too many people out there who walk around blind to reality. I think we should all try to feel better about ourselves as skeptics because the world could use more of us.

Thanks for the support minilux! I have trouble finding the grey area between 'not giving something a fair shake' and 'trying to force it'. I want to be curious and not dismiss something out of hand, but it's hard. But I also believe that forcing myself to participate in something that doesn't feel right, not only makes me feel silly (and guarantees that I'll fail), but disrespects the tradition that I'm attempting. I feel awkward going through the motions, just as I would feel disrespectful participating in a church service that I didn't subscribe to. It's a chicken 'n egg thing - do I participate because it feels right, or do I gain that comfort level through participation?

I feel the same way actually. I tried the whole wiccan thing for a while, but realized I just felt stupid. Same goes for a whole of other things. I want to believe, because part of really wants these things to be real. But I know they aren't, and right when I think I've come to terms with it, I realize I still feel somewhat empty.

And thanks for your input too Lucretia. I think that's it - I want to believe but can't. And I really don't know why I want to so badly, other than a general feeling of 'something's missing' or 'ain't there more to life' or what have you. I think there are constant reminders that skeptics = cynics, or that because I can't believe in (god/magic/alien worship/fill in the blank) it's because I'm deficient in something, something spiritual or personal - in other words, I'm an automaton. Walking computer.

I think it's interesting that you've found a resonance with tarot. That's one area that I have no familiarity with yet. Perhaps I'll add that to the list of explorations

ps - I realize these rambling were mostly focussed on the wiccan/natural faiths, but recent discussions in the religion thread have reminded me that I have the same dichotomy with traditional religions too, and everything in between. (I wrote that whole thing about a week ago, it's taken me a while to post it, and I've been reading avidly in the duration).