Ambition. It does'nt shame me to say that I have none. Aside from a general desire not to be a burden on anyone and to be a positive (or at least entertaining) influence in my community, I have no drive, no lofty goals, no metaphorical mountains to peak.

Naturally, it would be nice to be wealthy, or at least financially comfortable, but it's not a big priority in my life. As long as I can still afford BPAL every once in a while (and books, and the odd costume), I don't mind living paycheck to paycheck.

Don't get me wrong. I have passions in life. In these veins flows fiery dedication to certain pursuits. But there is nothing I could make a career out of. Or even successfully volunteer at.

I love to juggle (stage balls, chiffon scarves, pins, even torches), but though there have been phases in my life when I practiced consistently, I was never good enough to charge even a paltry fee at a children's birthday party. One certain-to-eventually-occur miscalculation with a flaming torch and WHOOSH, there goes little Billy's mass of cherubic curls.

Playing dress-up has always been one of my favorite past times, and was the only truly feminine element of my childhood. I was the proverbial tomboy. Even now that I'm a legal adult, I still spend hours of my leisure days floating around in frivolous knock-offs of Arwen gowns, reproductions of Anne Boleyn court gowns, saucy wench outfits, and feathered masks. But I can't draw, accessorize, or sew (and I've both attempted and studied all three), so costume designing is out.

Could I make an occupation out of testing BPAL oils? Wouldn't that be delicious? Although, to be skilled I'd have to study perfumery and train my nose to pick out specific notes. Scratch that. I'd rather just enjoy my own oils and enable all my friends.

The truth of the matter is, I'm a hedonist. To the core. I work to play, I don't play to work. Sensual pleasures obsess me, and the academic paths I follow don't lead to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, though they are rewarding in their own right. Still, I don't see a degree in my near future.

I see the value in saving the universe. Hey Beautiful, I recycle, reduce, and reuse. I donate to help natural habitats and to end world hunger. But I don't know what my purpose is, other than to delight in the simple pleasures, to look after myself and offer assistance to some others, to not step on any human or other creature (either figuratively or literally), to nourish my addictions to music, BPAL, Firefly and Serenity, and of course, making out with boyflames.

Mmm. Making out with boyflames.