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What's in a blog?

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filigree_shadow

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Andrabell's recent blog entry made me think about why I like to write blogs -- I started replying to her blog and then I realized that was WAY too much for a comment so I'm transferring it over here.

 

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Here's why I write personal stuff in blogs and LJ: I'm extremely indecisive and I like to talk through things with other people, in case they have ideas or points that I just haven't thought of. Or maybe they can see possible outcomes of decisions that I haven't considered. Or maybe sometimes I just want to hear "Yeah, you're on the right track."

 

The thing is, I just don't have very many real friends. Except for my three sisters and my husband, I have a total of three friends. One of them is a male drinking-buddy type that I see once every few months, one of them is a super-busy role model type (also male) that I talk to about my plans and ambitions, and the other one is so wrapped up in her own self and her own problems that mainly our friendship consists of her calling me and me listening to her. As far as "girlfriends" go, I am extremely lacking. I haven't chatted on the phone or in person with anyone about my own problems/issues in months. Literally.

 

In real life it's hard for me to make friends. I don't seem to have much in common with most women I meet, and men usually have wives or girlfriends who disapprove of them hanging out with me. I'm extremely introverted, and I'm a housewife who leaves the house twice a week to go to class (plus running errands and stuff like that). Even if I did make friends easily, I don't have much opportunity to meet anyone. The women I've met through the forums and LJ have pretty much become my "real life" friends.

 

I was watching the movie Tombstone yesterday, and in it a guy asks Doc Holliday why he puts his life on the line for Wyatt Earp. Doc says it's because Wyatt is his friend. The guy says "Hell, I've got lots of friends." Doc says: "I don't."

 

I guess most people have a network of friends they can call up and talk to whenever they want. I don't.

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You crack me up, because you say things like "I'm a housewife who leaves the house twice a week to go to class," like you're going to a community college personal enrichment class in flower arrangement. Nothing against community colleges and the art of flower arranging, but you are taking anatomy and forensic science classes at a major university! My brother is a scientist, and he has a few friends, he has a wicked funny sense of humor, he is always looking around him at the natural world, but he can also go for months without talking to lots of people -- he's very happy with his wife and his dogs and doing his thing. I think introverted-analytical people are simply wired like that.

 

It seems to me that you and indarkmoon and cordia are all introverts who have very close bonds with your sisters. I think that is so interesting -- I have anything but a close relationship with my sister, so I had to go outside my relatives to find my sisters, so to speak.

 

I sit on the borderline between introversion and extroversion on the Myers-Briggs, but I am more of an introvert, because when I am around people too much, I need to get the hell away to recharge my batteries. I think if you're not out around people too much, you're doing what's right for you. So more power to you!

And I'm glad you're on the blogs and LJ, so I can get to know you in this way! :ninja:

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Nothing against community colleges and the art of flower arranging, but you are taking anatomy and forensic science classes at a major university!

 

Heh heh. Well, I didn't say my classes were easy, I just meant I don't get out much. :ninja: And I have to say I agree with you about introverted-analytical people being wired like that. Being around lots of people exhausts me. (Also there's that pesky crowds phobia I have.) Usually I'm pretty happy with just my husband and our dogs.

 

It seems to me that you and indarkmoon and cordia are all introverts who have very close bonds with your sisters. I think that is so interesting -- I have anything but a close relationship with my sister, so I had to go outside my relatives to find my sisters, so to speak.

 

I can't imagine not having my sisters around -- I can't imagine what it's like not to get along with family, either. I would hang out with my sisters even if they weren't my sisters. My sisters D. and L. are incredibly funny, and S. is absolutely the nicest and most considerate person I've ever met in my life. My husband tells me that there are NO other women in the entire world like me and my sisters. I tell him, "That's because my mother only raised four girls." :) My mom is fantastic.

 

Anyway, I'm glad you've been able to find some sisters outside of your family. Sisters are important.

 

And I'm glad you're on the blogs and LJ, so I can get to know you in this way! :)

 

Yeah! :D

Sometimes I wish I were more of an extrovert -- it seems like being on the line between extrovert/introvert would be good.

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I do the same thing, not going much of anywhere and not having opportunity to meet people. I'm also like valentina in that I don't get along with my sister, so I've had to find folks online who are my family. (I like to think I've done pretty well there... I've got a "brother" and a "sister" and some "cousins".)

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has this problem, though.

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I do the same thing, not going much of anywhere and not having opportunity to meet people. I'm also like valentina in that I don't get along with my sister, so I've had to find folks online who are my family. (I like to think I've done pretty well there... I've got a "brother" and a "sister" and some "cousins".)

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has this problem, though.

 

I think you're definitely not the only one who has this problem. I "talk" to people online much more than I talk to people verbally. It still takes me a while to warm up to people online just like in real life, but for some reason it seems easier online. (Probably because no one can see me blushing and kicking the toes of my shoes while I try not to be shy and nervous.)

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I am in the same boat as you f_s; I have 1 good friend other than my sisters, and she lives out of state. I don't make friends easily either, it's almost like I've got some sort of wall around me, some sort of unconscious "Do Not Disturb" sign that makes me appear more aloof and reserved than I actually am.

 

I blog because I often can't sort out feelings or ideas until I've got then written down in front of me, the act of getting them out onto paper (or typing them in a blog) makes the processing of them more tangible, I am working with concrete words rather than nebulous feelings, emotions or philosophies. One could argue that I could just as easily do it in a private diary stuffed under my mattress or a Word document on my PC...but I too like to get other opinions and viewpoints. I don't know it all, I can't fathom that my way is the only way - I like to know what others think. I want to know an opposite take on a situation, a devil's advocate view.

 

Or hell, maybe I am alone. Maybe I just want to connect with like-minded women, and this forum, for all it's members, can be a lonely, isolating place. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this forum, but it's sort of like a crowd where everyone is shouting about themselves...but no one is listening to anyone else.

 

People listen here. I like that.

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I love this forum. And I enjoy having my blog so far--even if nobody reads it, it makes me happier to reflect on the things I've written. And having others comment and relate to what I'm thinking or feeling helps me feel much better about everything.

 

Personally, I've always enjoyed reading journals or diaries of famous people, and follow a number of regular blogs. I love seeing the commonalities of the human experience.

 

I have one sister whom I love dearly but am not very close to. She is 2 years younger than I and it's almost like we know TOO much about each other, so that makes us feel distant, although it makes no sense.

 

My best friend lives 5 hours away and is moving even farther away soon. My other dear friends live in Alaska and Oaxaca, Mexico. Consequently, I don't see them often. I have crowd phobia and even worse phone phobia. I'm much more of a "writing-based" communication type person. I don't get out much any more since we moved away from the metro--my husband and I only have 1 car and he takes it to work for his 12 hour shifts. If it weren't for this forum it would be a lonely life indeed.

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I understand.

 

I'm an only child -- no siblings to be close to. My cousins are much older than I am and two states away. There's only so much stuff I feel comfortable talking to my mom about. I didn't have any close friends in high school, and I've lost touch with pretty much all the people I called "friend" back then, anyway. My college friends knew me best, but since graduation, we're all strung out across the state. After a triangle drama over one guy and two of the girls and a whole bunch of BS lies spinning around, not many of us are still calling each other "friend" anymore, anyway.

 

I have two people in town I can call if I need to talk, but the person who probably knows me best and whom I feel most comfortable discussing personal matters with is a girl I've met only once in the nearly ten years we've been friends online. We keep in touch mainly by email. I'm used to typing out my thoughts, concerns, freak-outs, etc, to her. It carries over naturally into blogs. I just have so much trouble finding the spoken words to express this stuff on the rare occasion I actually do call up a friend to talk. It's easier to type it out.

 

:ninja:

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OK-have really enjoyed reading the posts here-fellow introverts. I have relatives I love, but I wouldnt really talk to them about something wrong in my life, and a few RL friends, and some friendships I've let slide unfortuantely...once people have babies,kids,teenageres,and time goes so fast......

 

 

anyway, now am making an effort to "get out there and do stuff">some of it feels ok,but some of it also, makes me wonder why Ive" wasted" my time and money!

So I suppose some of us are just more introverted...

 

I dont know about you, but I like seeing what other people are doing,almost observing, but I dont exactly wanna spend all my time with them, and I think that is really good and normal. quite frankly, I believe that the people who always HAVE to be doing something social are far stranger. The world needs us introverts!!!!

 

And um-thats just my 2cents worth!YMMV

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