This weekend (and I'm including Friday for the sake of clarity) has not been the most fun.

Getting locked out of the Cafe's WiFi security wall on Friday, for nearly the entire day, was annoying enough. Since then:

• my middle sister, the MD and Navy officer, found out that she might be deployed
  
• a friend of my chosen sister took it upon himself to inform her abusive ex-fiance that she has moved back to that town
  
• the Grad Student and I have been on the telephone with one another three times, hand-holding one another through assorted emotional crises
  
• I tried to smash a bone in my finger to kindling while trying to hammer a ring shank into shape
  
• and some information has left me a little worried about my future ability to do my Friday shows at the Cafe.
  

I can't do anything about the possibility that Alex might be deployed, and the idea has haunted my nightmares ever since Shrubya declared Son of the Sandbox ("My daddy got a war, an' I want one too!"). I can't do anything about (possible) new ownership at the Cafe, even though the official owner has reassured me that nothing is changing. I can't bolt to Minneapolis -- I already have an airline reservation that's only 11 days away -- and I can't drop everything and camp out on Sioux's doorstep with a broadsword, much as I want to.

I have decided that I need to have the income of a Lady of Leisure, only without the attitude that usually accompanies it. I want to be able to throw money at the problems of family and friends until they go away; I want to be able to drop everything and fly to wherever I'm needed on a moment's notice. I want to provide boltholes and margaritas, storage and critter-sitting, tea and sympathy, and not have to worry about who is going to have to pay for all of it. I want to be a punk-rock, ElderGoth Auntie Mame to friends and family, and direct emotional and logistical support to D. I want it all, and right this second; but it's not happening on my current budget.

Mostly, I just want to make a difference that amounts to more than "I'm here, and thinking of you."