So, after freaking out the other day I remember why I always ought to pay attention to my feelings. My friend was in a car wreck. She's going to be fine, thankfully, but the timing was just odd.

My timing seems to be consistently odd. I don't know if I truly believe in ESP and other psychic things, but I do know that I have a lifelong pattern of knowing when something bad is going to or has happened. There are almost daily moments of knowing little things, but these are the main ones:

1) right before my mom got phone calls telling her of my grandfather and uncle's deaths, i told her not to pick up the phone because it was going to be bad. we were living in Japan and neither of them had been sick before they died.

2) i dreamed of my grandfather's death the night before he died. not just of him dying, but the exact manner of his death.

3) i did the pre-phone call thing when my grandmother had the final stroke that put her in hospice care. i answered my phone and said "it's grandma, isn't it?" before my mother said a word. i'd actually been anxious and worried for a few days before, starting the day that she had her first stroke.

4) the morning of 9/11, i had a feeling that i needed to take the train into penn station instead of the WTC. i'd never gone into school that way before.

I think I need to stop dismissing these feelings.