If I were a dessert, I'd be tiramisu... who'm I kidding? I'd be a pint of the best haagen daz.

If I were an alcoholic beverage, I'd be hot buttered rum.

If I were a type of music, I'd be Nightfall, by David Lanz.

If I were a color, I'd be pale blue.

If I were a fruit, I'd be a pomegranate

If I were an animal, I'd be a white tiger.

If I were a story, I'd be emo.

If I were a car, I'd be a toyota.

If I were a poem, I'd be my own.

If I were a bird, I'd be a crane.

If I were a BPAL oil, I'd be Et Lux Fuit.

If I were a country, I'd be India.

If I were a mythological being, I'd be a naiad or meliae (hamadryad of the ash tree)

If I were an article of clothing, I'd be a well worn and loved hoody.

If I were a reptile, I'd be a boomslang, and disappointed that I wasn't chocolatey.

If I were a natural disaster, I'd be a monsoon.

If I were a plant, I'd be a lilac bush.

If I were a planet, I'd be Neptune.

If I were a tree, I'd be a white birch.

If I were an album, I'd be Our Lady Peace, Happiness is Not a Fish

If I were a fabric, I'd be fleece.

If I were a work of art, I'd be a Renoir.

If I were a book, I'd be a fantasy.

If I were an element of human emotion, I'd be hope.

If I were a constellation, I'd be Leo.

If I were a season, I'd be Winter

If I were a flavor, I'd be Chai with milk and honey.

If I were a geographical feature, I'd be a still pond.

If I were a shoe, I'd be a fuzzy slipper.

If I were an M&M, I'd be dark and blue.

If I were a queen, I would have both national tea time and nap time.

If I were a song, I would be an unfinished symphony.

If I were a light source, I would be a scented candle.

If I were a stone, I would be aventurine.

If I were a kind of panty hose, I would be silk stockings.

If I were a movie, I'd be a box office flop, but eventually I'd have a cult following.

If I were a spice, I'd be cardamom.

If I were a cosmetic item, I would be lip balm

If I were a hot drink, I would be homemade cocoa.

If I were a sound I would be discordant.

If I were a famous person in history, I would be Anne Bonny.

If I were a sport, I would be poker.

If I were an actor, I'd be Angelina Jolie.

If I were a musical, I would be the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

If I were a number, I would be 1.

If I were an invention of humankind, I would be air conditioning.

If I were a sexual item, I would be a silk cord. A long one.

If I were an instrument, I'd be a cello.

If i were an element I would be be fire.