I feel so confused right now ... don't know what I want and what would be best for me. I can simply hope that God will guide me and that the way he chosed is the "best" (meaning please easy and comfortable) one. I myself don't want to make this choice - even if I don't know all the facts. Doesn't make it easier.

And I hope so much that my BPAL order arrives today. Could need a cheerup ... CnS was on the second of march ... could work ...