As some of you know, I live my life in pain. I have pain every second of every day, and it's been like this for nearly 4 years now.

I've been called a faker, a whiner, that I bring people down, etc, etc - both on the internet and real life.

My former friends thought I was pretending to have headaches to get attention, and my dad has thought I was pretending to skip out of work, and doctors who thought I was crazy and chemically depressed.

I'm actually a pretty happy person. I'm married to a wonderful man, got a great job, great friends (online and off), and live in one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.

This doesn't change the fact that I'm in constant pain, and it does to a degree rule my life.

I did decide, after a very bad incident involves the Hard Rock Cafe in Detroit and the smell of raw onions (one of my headache triggers), that I wasn't going to let the headaches totally rule my life. After the aformentioned incident, my doctor told me that I shouldn't go out to eat, or to concerts, sport events or any place loud. I was all of 26 at the time.

My doctor pissed me off so bad that I came to two conclusions:

1) Trusting doctors is a bad thing for anything more than the flu or a cold - all they did was push drugs on me (that didn't work) and tell me I'm depressed (which if you were in as much pain as I get, you'd have bouts of depression too) and push more drugs on me for that.

2) I can't let the headaches totally rule my life

So, I found things that work for me - cold packs, and lots of sleep. I also kept a journal to figure out what my triggers are.

Though some days there is nothing I can do to prevent the onset of a really bad migraine. Like today - weather is a trigger and we have been having thunderstorms since this afternoon.

I really don't want sympathy (except if your name is Todd and you are married to me ) just understanding. Sometimes the pain is really bad, and I need someone to talk/vent to, and venting online does help.

I'm not a down person - I'm actually a pretty up person. I can have a horrible headache, but still have a smile on my face.