I'm bummed.

This weekend we invited family and friends to celebrate my birthday (which was almost 2 months ago) and the induction of our flat - one year after moving there ... we're not the fastest, as you can see.

Well, I thought everything was fine. And than I did something which was the last straw. I asked Ollis mom if she could remove her shoes. I don't like it if people come in with their shoes and ... well. I must have said in a wrong accent. I did not intent to do so, but it seems to happen a lot. And often when I try to let it sound casual.

Well okay, so she answered "No" - and I thought "well then", smiled and went back to the kitchen to cut more cake.

Then it all began. Ollis mom went on the balcony while all the others drank their coffee. I did not even think about it, that I could have caused this! My mom joint her to look what was going on. She claimed to have circulation problems.

Then Ollis sister took her children and went outside with them. She didn't seem too happy about me and my way with her children. When I get it right I should not worry about my laminate when they play on it (which always includes throwing cars, wooden cubes and so on). I asked the boy, if he could try to play only on the tiling - there I know that nothing will happen + he is not in the way of all the other guests. I have a different look on thinks like that - I have only one brother but we were raised in a different way. When we visited my grandparents there were 5-8 of us ... it was important to respect my grandparents, not to throw stuff, not to scream and so on. To know how to behave.

After coffee Olli and his parents went to see our new bed - I was there for some minutes and then rejoined the others. They stayed in there for approx. 30 minutes. I went back there to ask if everything was fine. They smiled and claimed to have talked about Ollis job.

Then Olli and his sister disappeared, I searched for them and there they were talking about me. Ollis sister believed that I don't like her. Because I said some stuff (yes, some of them were meant exactly how I said them ... and others I did not mean the way she got them. And I do like her. I just think we are different - which should not be a problem. I always like seeing her, going away with her). So I told her that, told her that I am happy about the family Olli brought with him and so on. And we talked a bit about the kids ... and she told me that the circulation problem was caused by me and my tone ... and that Ollis mom was afraid that the family would break apart over this stuff. I really could not understand it. It was ... I don't know! I didn't have a clue about the stuff going on!

So I went to Ollis mom, gave her a hug and told her that everything is fine.

It all would have been okay if Olli and I wouldn't have talked about it the next day. He revealed that his parents - better: his mom - talked about this stuff while they were in our bedroom. And they accused me of stuff that is not okay + they really hurt me. They always smile at me and are nice and now I hear such things that indicate, that they don't like me at all. I cried a lot. A lot a lot. Olli tried to calm me down and told me that this was the first time they did something like that and that I should try to forget it because he thinks it was because all the problems his mother is having. That's right, she has a tough time regarding a lot of different parts of her life. Her health, her friends, her working place and so on. Olli was angry that they told him such things instead of talking to me. So we agreed on forgetting the hole affair, because it was not worth it (well, first we quarreled about an hour ... which made it worse. I had a terrible night and had a dream about Olli leaving me - but after that we were fine again).

But ... I'm still so hurt. I try to tell myself that everything is fine. But it happened several times that I got the feeling that Ollis parents don't really like me. Which is somehow ridiculous because they treat me very nice. But sometimes there are things they say that make me feel bad again. But of course now I am really convinced that they dislike me. Even if Olli tries to affirm that they love me.

I really don't know what to do. I don't want to talk about it with them because I know how bad Ollis mom is. But on the other hand I don't trust her any more. I don't want to see her. And I am pretty much hurt.

So I just don't know what to do ... I tell myself over and over again to forget the hole story. But somehow it's not that easy.