A year ago a coworker of mine (wasn't working in the same department though) moved away from here. I was pretty sad about that. Sometimes I had problems with her because she is even more fragile goods than I am ... but I liked her a lot. We always had a lot to talk and to learn from each other and enjoyed our time together.

When she moved I knew that I wouldn't hear from her any more.

I got one call and one mail ... well, she didn't get much more from me. It was just so obvious that our friendship would end here.

Today she came here by surprise Another friend of hers is celebrating her birthday and she wanted to give me a quick visit, too. And she has got a new car, a job (finally! She searched so hard!) and - tada!! - she is pregnant!

She is one of those woman that I think become really good mothers. I know she's a bit "childish" (that sounds so wrong - there is nothing wrong with being a bit childish - you always should be!) - well, skip this ... I can't put it into the right words ... anyway, I am convinced that she will grow with her task and I am so happy for her and her husband

But ... yes, of course, there HAD to be a "but" - anytime I hear that someone is pregnant or just had her child ... I want that too. I know I am childish - and now I mean it in not only the positive way! - but I know I'm going to be a good mother. And Olli a great father - specially when we should have a boy that likes planes It's a kind of jealousy. Not that I don't want THEM to have a child - I really do - but in the way that I want, too. But that will have to wait. I don't have a perpetual job, Olli and I aren't married yet - and those are things that I want to have before we think about children (we already know we want two - we hope for one boy and one girl). It's just that I feel so damn fragile right now (hand, sleep, family) and now it hits me like a slap into my face to have to cope from the "I want to get pregnant, too!"

But it was so nice to see her - and so great to know that they're going to be a family in March