In addition to writing proposals, reviewing proposals, developing assessments, creating presentations, drinking coffee and reading Perez Hilton, one of the most tedious, but relatively amusing tasks that I have is reviewing job applications. Now, the first vetting isn't something I do regularly, and would only usually do it if I were filling my own position; however, serving as Project Manager for the project I totally made up I feel like I need to have greater control on how this whole thing kicks off.

So, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, I give you excerpts from applications:

Makes what swell?

“I have done my second research paper had a title of ‘Hot romance movie and its impact on the swell of HIV/AIDS’”

&*#@! I hate ampersands.

“I have a Bachelor degree in STATISTICS as MAJOR and COMPUTER SCIENCE as a MINOR from ADDIS ABABA UNIVERSITY. Therefore, I have very interested and best hood in working in the vacant position, which I am applying for being competitive & successful in the position. Attached here with, I enclosed all my documents that witness about me.”

Alright—at least three applicants talked about “exerting [their] efforts” (not in my office you don't):

“I would be glad and most powerful if you give me a chance of employment so as to exert my effort with dedication & honesty.”

“…to exert my effort with dedication and honest.”

At least it is better than being a “steamed” organization:

“I am writing this letter of application to request for an open position in your estimated organization…”

Fill in the blank, we aren’t picky:

“I am interested to work as (in pen) Monitoring Officer in your school/college /organization…”

Finally, the respect I deserve:

“Dear: Sir/Madam

I have the honour to inform your Excellency that I am very interested to employ in the position of Monitoring Officer…”