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Who isn't in love with Lloyd Dobbler?

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antimony

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I watched "Say Anything" again tonight. (for like the 1000th time)

 

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

 

I'm a brain. Unfortunately, *not* trapped in the body of a game show hostess.

 

My boyfriend basically shares Lloyd's worldview. He's not into the whole buy/sell/process worldview. He doen't have a degree, and although he has a good job in computers, I don't think he's figured out what he wants to do when he grows up.

 

Plenty of aquaintances have questioned what the hell the two of us are doing together. He makes me laugh. He's sweet to me. He's the kind of guy who would point out glass for me walk around. I spent about 11 or 12 hours studying today. He brought me a warm lunch, and warm dinner. He's been cleaning the apartment. He makes the whole house run while I focus on my studying.

 

---

 

I was discussing relationships with other actuaries at a seminar a couple of weeks ago... And we all realized that of the sucessful corporate high-ups we knew, most of them did not have high-powered spouses. Even the female partners at the consulting firm I used to work for, their husbands were artists, caterers, one owned a fly-fishing shop... All good careers, but not corporate. And the men too, their wives didn't work, or also had similar non-corporate careers.

 

I think there's a lot of value in having both people in the relationship working in fields with very different challenges and very different definitions of success. I think it makes it easier. You get stressed over different things, and not always at the same time, kind of makes it easier to be there for each other.

 

That, and for people in very time-consuming or high-stress careers, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be with someone who is more home-oriented than career oriented. I don't think it's a gender role thing, after all, I'm the one working all the time, and who spent the first couple of years as the primary income in our household. But, you know, *someone* needs to keep the home fires burning.

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Damn, I love "Say Anything" as much as you do. I LOVE the song "In Your Eyes" because it's a great song, and because every time I hear it, I look around for Lloyd with a boombox.

 

And you have a Lloyd? Oh, lucky you. He sounds like a gem.

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I think I have a Diane. :D

 

I've got a crap recording of "In Your Eyes" in a cappella. So very pretty. (Even with the crap!)

 

Though I've been with The Mister for (whoa) eight years now, I think we're still defining our roles in and outside of the home in relation to each other. A lot has to do with both of us being in career limbo. Moving and spending a year in a tiny apartment also hit a "reset" button on our nesting.

 

Now with the house looming (closing is in less than two weeks!) and a somewhat stable job situation, I'm curious to see how things shape up.

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