Wank & Polite Society
So someone pointed me towards some LJ forum someone started up for the purpose of allowing people to anonymously vent their true feelings about the LJ Black Phoenix forum (and as it turned out, about bpal.org.) I read for a few entries before I had to stop, feeling absolutely sick to my stomach.
Who thought this was a good idea?
In my experience, anytime people can hide under a cloak of anonymity, the majority transform almost immediately into assholes. It's like passing notes in the back of the class in 7th grade or whispering to each other about how fat Susie is (and making sure Susie can hear them) — the desire to impress their peers with their capacity for cruel and malicious behavior manifests as the most horrifying vitriol. It all goes straight to "Lord of the Flies" island, because somehow, the people we meet on the internet aren't "real" people and so what we do to them smacks of the hypothetical. We don't have to be there and say these things to them face to face and deal with the chance that we might make them angry or make them cry — that we might actually have to face the consequences of our behavior first hand. It's all Unreal. We're all turned into sociopaths, because our audience comes pre-objectified for our convenience.
Are there people on these forums I don't like? Of course there are! There are even people I loathe, and people who are engaged in behaviors which I find self-destructive and/or unethical, and I want to throttle them. But you know what? That's okay. I know I'm not loved by everyone myself. I can be an insufferable know-it-all bitch (hey, even my Chinese horoscope says so) and I'm not always the easiest person to get along with. I know there are people on these forums who do not like me. I'm cool with that. They don't have to like me. And — and I LOVE this — we can continue to be civil with each other, because these forums are an atmosphere where its been made abundantly clear that civil manners and behavior are the rule of the day. As such, I try not call those people names or be nasty to them — one does not DO that in polite society. My reward is that sometimes these people I once disliked become friends I really love and enjoy — because I gave myself the chance to get to know them.
Of course, I suppose I could always log on somewhere anonymously and rant and rave and call people names, but honestly, what is to be gained from that?
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