In which I pity myself and feel like an outsider.
After reading through the LJ Wank-Garbage thread, I noticed that some people have mentioned (again) that if people didn't buy high-priced decants/bottles, no one would have them on their sales lists. And I feel guilty because I buy those high-priced things. I guess I'm a big fat jerk for driving up the prices for everyone else. But I've only been around for a few months, and some really good stuff was discontinued before I'd ever even heard of BPAL. It's not like I could buy it from the Lab right now.
I feel like it's okay to be different in the BPAL community -- goth or not, bi or not, pagan or not, whatever -- but it's not okay to have money. If you spend a lot of money on an imp of Pumpkin King, people bash you all over the place for being stupid and/or insane. And evidently it's not cool to have a big BPAL stash because then you're an obsessed fangirl who has no life.
I will come clean: I've spent several thousand dollars on perfume oils in the past three months or so. I'm not stupid, insane, or obsessed -- just... well, wealthy. $20 is not a lot of money to me. At all. And I feel like I'm being a bitch just for saying the truth. It's not a flaw, and I don't know why I'm ebarrassed about it. In my groups of friends in real life, having a comfortable home and money in the bank is the mark of hard work and success. It seems like in the BPAL community it's just a reason for people not to like you.
I love my BPAL collection, I like to talk about BPAL, I like to swap with people, and there are some exceptional people in the BPAL community. But I don't feel like there's a whole lot of love for people like me. If anyone said anything negative about someone's religion 20 people would jump to her defense. But when people say someone's an idiot for spending $50 on an imp of Storyville, crickets chirp off in the distance. Followed by a post of "Yeah, that's ridiculous!"
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