My first order actually came from the Trading Post, two soaps and one wicked little claw polish. The first soap I tried was Shub Niggurath. I should back up a little bit. *beep*beep*beep* Hey, baby got back, a'ight?

I got addicted to introduced to H.P. Lovecraft at the tender age of 13 by a Louisiana History teacher who knew I was a little off even then, I guess. I was young enough that some of the stories scared the bejeebus out of me, which means I read them alone as often as I could. So I saw this soap named after an Old One, the Black Goat of the Woods, no less. I was enthralled intrigued and thought, why not?

Why not indeed? Soap is too common a term for something that created a bathing event, but if I were to call it fthgngth, you'd have no idea what I was talking about or maybe be inclined to hand me a tissue and say, "Gesundheit," which in certain circles has been known to open a gate or three, so let's keep it simple and call it soap. The color: rich, deep cinnamon brown marbled with lighter brown and coated with metallic gold dust all along the top. Gorgeous! These soaps themselves are works of art all their own, I tell you, and I never lie unless it will get me out of trouble.

The scent: well, I've seen it described as the Devil's ginger snaps and a pumpkin pie that has gone through Hell in the review section, and I'd have to agree with both and then some. It's not foodie. You'd be insane--yeah, we all know that's what the Old One's want--ever to eat anything that smelled like this. You'd still probably want to eat it anyway and be happy when your belly bloated to twice its normal size, a small price to pay for something so delicious.

It's soap. Don't eat it. Bathe with it. Luxuriate in it. Let it worship your skin with rich, silky lather. Let it leave behind its scent mark in every open pore. Go to bed and find yourself unable to sleep because of the energetic ginger goodness. Better yet, save the bath until you want to wake up. This soap means business. If goats smelled like this, nobody would have dogs. But if the Black Goat of the Woods smells like this, assume that you now understand why She is also called "the Goat with a Thousand Young". Ladies, be prepared to beat the men away with sticks, or the women if that's how you swing. Men, this goes for you, too. The scent is unisex and wonderful for shower sharing.

A final word. Beware. This soap will make you:

• late for work
  
• late for bed
  
• buy a full bottle of Shub Niggurath oil
  
• susceptible to the darkest magics (maybe)
  
• highly huggable
  
• even more highly sniffable
  
• beg for more, more, more!
  

It's official. I'm a cultist of the goat, and I'm looking for converts. Any takers?