I've been in France for almost three weeks, but have been unable to post about the trip so far because the first hotel where I stayed (in the toxic industrial town of Melle) claimed to have internet access, which they in fact did not. Plus, three days after I arrived I became so ill I was making phone calls home to tell people I loved them, because I was sincerely convinced I was going to die. The hotel owner wanted to take me to the hospital, but I couldn't even come up with the energy to agree. I was extremely ill for about 12 days. On top of that, customs seized my bike and tore him apart looking for what? Drugs? That I mailed to myself? Assholes. So I had to rebuild Morpheus when he finally turned up. Somehow, I managed to get some work done. A couple of the churches in Melle had been restored, which is nice for the tourists, but I have to wonder how true to the original some of the sculpture is, you know? I think things are sometimes simplified and sanitized for mass consumption. I have to say, though, that two of the churches (St.-Hilaire and St.-Pierre) were completely awe-inspiring in their sheer mass.

I felt very insignificant standing in the nave, looking up at the stone vaults high above. The one church I was unable to go inside (St.-Savinien) is the only one that had truly "obscene" elements. Below, notice the couple doing the nasty and a man with an erection crawling along.

Both of these are on the west facade of the church-- right by the main entrance.

A few miles outside of town I discovered a little church that had very little sculpture, but what sculpture it did have was nothing but monsters. No religious theme anywhere. I am particularly intrigued by column swallowers and find them particularly phallic, although one of my colleagues disagrees with me. Here's the swallower on the south side of the portal, notice the little hand up to his pointy ear.

His compatriot across the portal has left trails in the column with his teeth.

You can't tell me that's not phallic.

I think I was made ill by the factory in Melle. I still had five days left in the town yet my work there was finished. I gathered up my strength and checked out of the hotel, loaded up my bike, and pedaled 20 miles to the south to the tiny village of Aulnay de Saintonge, whose church I've wanted to visit for years, if for nothing else than to see the ass playing a harp.

What I didn't realize is that the ass also has an erection. In most tourist literature, that part has been photoshopped out. I spent two days in Aulnay and being there was like some sort of healing medicine for me.

Every time I have waves of strong emotion, I can't help but wonder if twelfth century pilgrims felt the same way. I really felt connected to that place and felt completely at peace there. I had planned to ride out of Aulnay and down to Cognac, but the proprietor suggested that, as a historian, I might like the old Roman town of Saintes better, so I took a chance and rode about 35 miles down to Saintes, a town full of medieval and Roman remains (and fantastic shops and restaurants!). Here was another place I felt completely connected to, and indeed, I would say happy. I had a great meal and found myself wandering a little drunk on wine along the banks of the Charente River at sunset,

purely blissed out and at ease.

The next day, I left for Pons, where I will be based for the month of June. Pons is a nice enough town, but I feel a little disappointed with it, especially after Aulnay and Saintes. The good thing is that I have a lot of work to do here to keep me busy and there is a train station (something that Melle didn't have), so I can go places if I need to get away. Saintes is a fifteen minute train ride away for $11, so I'm already planning on going there next Saturday for the day. I'm considering leaving Pons a few days early so I can go stay in Saintes and leave France loving a little bit of it. There's more to this story, of course, but I'm so behind in the telling of the tale, I'm just trying to get up to speed. More episodes later!