Holy s***, hon! I'm... freaking out a bit for you. Which is totally unhelpful. I've been trying to brainstorm a workaround... did your friend have any alternate plans for you? What a... horrible last minute bomb to drop!

How fancy pants do you want your cake? Are you near any major pockets of Asian people? I was thinking of some sort of fancy looking Japanese dessert... thingies in lieu of cake. Or at least a basic (read: easy/inexpensive/last-minute-orderable) cake with Japanesey embellishments (cherry blossom-shaped marzipan?)

I'm so sorry this is happening!

darkity's response made me think of a wedding reception that I attended recently, and the couple had a middle eastern bakery make their cake, and it was astonishing. They had a whipped cream frosting with a few decorations on it. It wasn't the traditional tower cake with the traditional frosting, but oh my, it was delicious. Everyone commented that it was the best wedding cake they could remember eating. Did I say how good it was?

I think a distraught bride's entreaties can get a bit of attention, and don't hesitate to pull out some drama. What the hell, you deserve to!

Holy s***, hon! I'm... freaking out a bit for you. Which is totally unhelpful. I've been trying to brainstorm a workaround... did your friend have any alternate plans for you? What a... horrible last minute bomb to drop!

 

How fancy pants do you want your cake? Are you near any major pockets of Asian people? I was thinking of some sort of fancy looking Japanese dessert... thingies in lieu of cake. Or at least a basic (read: easy/inexpensive/last-minute-orderable) cake with Japanesey embellishments (cherry blossom-shaped marzipan?)

 

I'm so sorry this is happening!

Well, I didn't care how fancy it was, and then when I got with her, I got really excited about how it was going to look (edible flowers! black frosting on sattellite cakes!) and now... I don't know. My mom is going to bake cake mixes for it, which is incredibly nice of her (she's borrowing pans from a friend- they're round, not square, but I can't be picky at this point) but it makes me so mad, because she shouldn't have to do it. I suggested cupcakes, which she shot down as being more difficult to decorate. I suggested brownies and ice cream, and she rolled her eyes. I don't know. It's just... WTF?? Also, nobody will do any wedding cake without a week's notice. So... There will be cake, it just won't be... tasty. And that's sad, because it could've been if we'd known sooner that she couldn't do it... I'm so freaking angry.

Thank you so much for your support. The boy has been really calm about it all (to try and keep me calm) but it's nice to have my panic and anger validated. Your suggestions were really good ones, I just wish there were more time.

darkity's response made me think of a wedding reception that I attended recently, and the couple had a middle eastern bakery make their cake, and it was astonishing. They had a whipped cream frosting with a few decorations on it. It wasn't the traditional tower cake with the traditional frosting, but oh my, it was delicious. Everyone commented that it was the best wedding cake they could remember eating. Did I say how good it was?

 

I think a distraught bride's entreaties can get a bit of attention, and don't hesitate to pull out some drama. What the hell, you deserve to!

It sounds gorgeous. The boy is being protective and trying to keep me out of the line of stress as much as possible. Sooo, he thinks it's best to just let my mother bake the round cakes and... it's going to be a disaster.

Y'know, I'd rather have a plain cake that was really tasty than a fancy cake that was gross... but I have a feeling I'm going to get a really fugly plain cake (not a lovely, simplistic cake- which I sort of wanted- but a truly fugly cake) that tastes disgusting. At least there'll be cream puffs and fortune cookies.

We'll laugh about it afterwards, right?

Thanks! I wouldn't hesitate to use the drama, but we don't have the money to cover a last minute cake, which is part of the reason I'm so furious about the way this happened.

Hee! I just had a wholly inappropriate mental image of one of those kiddie birthday cakes, but with a Godzilla figurine with a bridal veil sort of smashing through it. If anyone deserves an honest to goodness Bridezilla moment, it's you. Between all the dress shenanigans and now this cake crisis... right now I wish two things: 1) that I could get up there to help and 2) that I could bake worth a darn (that's The Mister's area of expertise. I'm too improv for good baking.) because I would be all about the emergency cupcake brigade.

You've got a good man to help you through all this mess and in the end (after all the chaos and craziness) that's what's gonna stick with you.

In the meantime, I'm getting right pissed off for you too!

PS Lovin' the fortune cookies! I wanted to do them for our wedding but didn't get my act together enough to order them.

I'm so sorry this is happening. Why are weddings so stressful? They're supposed to be fun, dammit!

Just try to stay focused on why you're going through all this: to become married to the wonderful man you found. We got married in Vegas at the Paris hotel, and had a little reception afterwards with cake and hors d'oeuvres ("horse dovers" as we fancy folk say). Mom asked me later if I noticed the cake was crooked! It wasn't on tiers, but 2-3 layers stacked on top of each other and was tipping over a bit, and I never even noticed. So there's the importance of the cake at our wedding.

One other thing: black frosting, while it looks cool on a cake, is a bad idea at a reception, because it stains everyone's lips and teeth and the pictures come out real ghoulish-looking. Unless that's the look you're going for

Hee! I just had a wholly inappropriate mental image of one of those kiddie birthday cakes, but with a Godzilla figurine with a bridal veil sort of smashing through it. If anyone deserves an honest to goodness Bridezilla moment, it's you. Between all the dress shenanigans and now this cake crisis... right now I wish two things: 1) that I could get up there to help and 2) that I could bake worth a darn (that's The Mister's area of expertise. I'm too improv for good baking.) because I would be all about the emergency cupcake brigade.

 

You've got a good man to help you through all this mess and in the end (after all the chaos and craziness) that's what's gonna stick with you.

 

In the meantime, I'm getting right pissed off for you too!

 

PS Lovin' the fortune cookies! I wanted to do them for our wedding but didn't get my act together enough to order them.

Heh! We were at the bakery today, and they had a pirate ship cake for a kid's birthday, and I was like, "Man, we missed out. We totally should've had a pirate theme instead." He was more inclined toward the spiderman cake, however.

Thanks for your well wishes- they are much appreciated!

I'm so sorry this is happening. Why are weddings so stressful? They're supposed to be fun, dammit!

 

Just try to stay focused on why you're going through all this: to become married to the wonderful man you found. We got married in Vegas at the Paris hotel, and had a little reception afterwards with cake and hors d'oeuvres ("horse dovers" as we fancy folk say). Mom asked me later if I noticed the cake was crooked! It wasn't on tiers, but 2-3 layers stacked on top of each other and was tipping over a bit, and I never even noticed. So there's the importance of the cake at our wedding.

 

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Thank you for that! You're very right.