I've been really sad this week... overwhemling so.

Wedding planning is hard, especially since my mom is gone, and I don't really have any help in NC. Todd helps when he can, but it's at the stage that he isn't interested in - making favors, getting the invitations ready, and such.

I was looking forward to having the couple days off over the 4th to get some of this wedding stuff done, and now I'm dreading the 4th because my in-laws are coming to visit.

I'm afraid I'll be kicked out of my own bedroom (my in-laws helped us move, and took over our bedroom. The first week of our marriage we couldn't even sleep together!) - I don't sleep well to begin with, but I really don't want to have to sleep on a blow up bed, then have to go to work for 10 + hours, then have to come home to 'entertain'. The very thought makes me want to cry.

I'm really sad that the SC meet and sniff isn't going to happen. I know I shouldn't have gone anyway because of the money, and because of the messy house, but I probably would have gone. I had been looking forward to it for quite a while now

And again, I wish I had friends - girl friends, mostly. I don't have anyone really to blather on about wedding stuff, to come to my fittings with me, to help me with invitations, to watch girly movies, and talk about things only girls can understand.

I miss having a best girl friend... and I even miss the best girl friend I had in college (though she become quite a crappy friend the last couple years of our friendship).

Life is hard... and I really try to keep upbeat (I know, it's hard to tell from my posts), but with feeling sick all the time (my lovely headaches insure that I'm in pain, all day every day) and being so lonely, it's hard to keep happy.