Your entry was just so interesting and thought-provoking, in it made the wheels start spinning right away.

First, I remember when I was about 10 to 12 years old, my parents went through Salt Lake City on vacation, and my mom wanted to stop and do the LDS headquarters tour. Of course, you can't get into the big temple unless you're a member of the church, but I do recall them telling us on the tour that if you're married by the church, you're married forever. And even then, my little pea brain thought: "Damn! Now THAT is a LONG time." It was what stuck in my head the most about the Salt Lake City experience, other than driving out to the Great Salt Lake and bobbing around.

When I was reading your entry, I started thinking about how Buddhists often say that we keep running into the same people over and over again in our lifetimes. There's a karmic connection that keeps getting played out. Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people to look at their mate and think: "You are you my darling? How long have we known each other? What is our connection?" I think that is so sweet and so soft and so open. It honors the connection.

So I see the LDS tradition as a similar way to regard a relationship as sacred. Of course, it gets that authoritative Christian bent, which, to me, avoids acknowledging the tenderness of many connections, and even numbs out deeper consideration of the intense emotion that bubbles around them. And often it creates fear. I know it's because I embrace the Buddhist notions, but I don't think you should be worried, because you and your Mister will be together, no matter what.

And that's the word from valentina, comparative religion geek and insufferable romantic!

Your entry was just so interesting and thought-provoking, in it made the wheels start spinning right away.

 

First, I remember when I was about 10 to 12 years old, my parents went through Salt Lake City on vacation, and my mom wanted to stop and do the LDS headquarters tour. Of course, you can't get into the big temple unless you're a member of the church, but I do recall them telling us on the tour that if you're married by the church, you're married forever. And even then, my little pea brain thought: "Damn! Now THAT is a LONG time." It was what stuck in my head the most about the Salt Lake City experience, other than driving out to the Great Salt Lake and bobbing around.

 

When I was reading your entry, I started thinking about how Buddhists often say that we keep running into the same people over and over again in our lifetimes. There's a karmic connection that keeps getting played out. Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people to look at their mate and think: "You are you my darling? How long have we known each other? What is our connection?" I think that is so sweet and so soft and so open. It honors the connection.

 

So I see the LDS tradition as a similar way to regard a relationship as sacred. Of course, it gets that authoritative Christian bent, which, to me, avoids acknowledging the tenderness of many connections, and even numbs out deeper consideration of the intense emotion that bubbles around them. And often it creates fear. I know it's because I embrace the Buddhist notions, but I don't think you should be worried, because you and your Mister will be together, no matter what.

 

And that's the word from valentina, comparative religion geek and insufferable romantic!

Thank you for this. I especially love the Buddhist quote. There is a part of me that strongly believes in reincarnation. Even before I had a grasp of what that really meant, I felt like there were people in my life that were always going to be a part of it; both good and bad. I still feel that way. I feel that way about strangers I've encountered only once or twice, and I feel that way about family members- but not all of them. I don't know that there is a gauge of how many people remain close and how many cycle out. Maybe it's dependent upon the person.

Your experience in Salt Lake was interesting to me. I remember learning about eternal families and thinking, "...ugh. I'd just as soon not be sealed to my parents." I also had the reaction of thinking eternity sounded like an awfully long time to spend with someone. Now, it sounds about right.

I think you are right. I don't think we will have to spend eternity apart. I just think that I will always worry, just a little bit.

Beautifully put, Valentina!

I've always had the vaguely gothish belief that if you don't suffer at least a little, than you really don't love the object of your affections. So to me your concerns for your and your Man's lives (mortal and otherwise) together is just proof of some Platonic truth.

(It was Plato that had that whole egg-soul theory, right? I'll have to rewatch "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" to be sure. Because I'm all philosophically sophisticated like that. )