(This was originally written on July 11th and should actually be the first entry, but it didn't get published -- probaby due to an ID 10T error on my part.)

To someone who isn't here...

I know that I said I would try not to turn into a hermit. Well, I tried.

It didn't work.

You know why; we discussed it when last we talked. And it's still eating at me. I walk alone these days, separated from people who both of us had counted on to, if not understand, at least refrain from hurtful behavior.

They haven't, nor do I think that they will.

To several other non-present persons, with reference to the first...

When someone mentions a recent, much needed vacation, the correct response upon hearing where the person went is not "I'm sorry." How you feel about the location in question is immaterial; the person had reason for their choice of destination, whether you agree with it or not.

Fine; maybe the place isn't a Vacation Mecca. Maybe the most famous local dish is something of a national joke. Maybe you don't appreciate what that place has to offer. It doesn't matter. There are a number of correct responses: what did you do, did you have fun, take any pictures -- any of those are right and good. "I'm sorry" is not.

And then, to compound it by proving that someone who had considered you to be, if not a friend, at least a good acquaintance, has completely dropped off of your personal radar -- that only compounds the slight.

So you're sorry that I went somewhere that I wanted to be. Well, I'm not. I saw a completely new place; somewhere I had never been before, and I saw it in the company of one who knows it, and considers it to be a Good Place. I saw beauty and wonder. I saw my delight at these new places mirrored in the face of that person, who has seen them many times; lives with them now, in fact. He can now see those things anew, because of my reaction to their new-ness. And we had the joy of seeing places new to us both; discovering them together. Those places will remain dear for that reason alone.

You're sorry? I'm not.

In the words of Gonzo, from "The Muppet Movie": I'm going to go back there someday; someday being sooner rather than later. And one of these days I just might not come back. Will you question my choice? Probably, but you don't get to second-guess me, nor ask me to do so to myself. It is not your decision. And if I also drop from your radar, then so be it. I will know that I have made the correct decision for myself.

If you feel "sorry" for this, then keep it to yourself.