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BPAL Madness!
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Hair Apparent

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darkitysnark

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The Mister has a bit of a hair fetish to complement his foot/naughty secretary thing. And Snarky really never knew about the extent of it until recently.

 

When he first met Snarky, she had a slightly angled bob that just curled beneath her chin. She had been maintaining the relatively chic 'do after a free makeover going in to her third year in college. Up until then she had rather a rather laissez faire approach to her hair except for the white streak (a la Rogue of X-Men fame or Pepe le Pieu's paramour, take your pick) she tried to maintain until she burned a bald patch on the side of her head.

 

She lapsed back into just growing it all out while in Europe for a semester, ending with a dramatic chop off "mas corta, por favor" in a "Super Tall" in Spain. (Who knew Super Cuts had gone international?)

 

Leading up to their wedding, Snarky finally returned to letting it all grow out in order to fulfill some deep-seated conviction that All Brides Must Have an Up 'Do. Her hair continued to grow until 2002 when, after a successful run doing impressions of "The Ring"'s Samara (and scaring the bejeezus out of all her co-workers), Snarky allowed her hairdresser to give her bangs.

 

This was the beginning of the end.

 

The bangs became Bettie Page bangs one hectic morning after Snarky's shaky attempts to even out the regrowth.

 

After that, it was only a matter of time before she succumbed to the inevitable and chopped it all off for charity.

 

Since that fateful November day (she kept the long hair one more Halloween in order to channel Cleopatra) Snarky has more or less kept the 'do at either page-boyish or rather Pat Benatarian levels.

minigolf.jpg

The Snarks take their mini-golfing very seriously.

osw_back.jpg

Growing out the highlights, and no, Snarky is not Flamenco-ing. She's modeling a knitting thingamabobber (Glampyre's One Skein Wonder, if you're curious)

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A better look at The Benatar in all her glory.

 

After the unfortunate Hitler Bangs incident, Snarky finally agreed to let it all grow out again.

 

hitler_bangs.jpg

Lest we ever forget... re-posting proof of the Hitler Bangs.

 

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This old photo most closely approximates the currently sideswept bangs (if you can make them out on her teeny tiny head). Is it just Snarky, or does it look like she's about to be plucked off the Earth by an Ent?

 

And for The Mister, there was much rejoicing. For while he has never once complained in all the years of Snarky's follicle fancies, he had been harboring a secret hope that she would return to the p0rn hair of yore. Every time she now wears her hair in the funky little pigtails - all she can currently manage - he gets a certain speculative gleam in his eye and breaks out into a boyish grin of delight.

 

It is this anticipation of his that is helping Snarky through some of the most difficult growing out phases she has ever encountered (and she's counting the skunky bald patch!). Right now she is currently at "vaguely choppy kinda-sorta rock mulletini-y" and would really just like to drop all the -y, -ie, -ishness and have a damn definitive 'do, already!

 

The things we do for love!

 

Edited to add: If she can find old pics of the old long hair, Snarky'll post 'em. She's also got a picture to be downloaded off the camera of the current oh-so-age-appropriate pigtails yet to post.

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Wow, that's some hairstory! (I had the Rogue Le Pew streak as well, btw)

The things we do for our menfolk, I tell you. I would have chopped off this landmass sitting on my head a long time ago if he wasn't so damn insistent!

 

Well, good luck with the growing, and I do have to say, in the one pic you are definitely more Bjork than Benatar. Bust out with the swan dress already!

 

Ha ha, just kidding. But seriously, that's an edgy, funky do...all of them are, and they're great :)

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Wow, that's some hairstory! (I had the Rogue Le Pew streak as well, btw)

The things we do for our menfolk, I tell you. I would have chopped off this landmass sitting on my head a long time ago if he wasn't so damn insistent!

 

Well, good luck with the growing, and I do have to say, in the one pic you are definitely more Bjork than Benatar. Bust out with the swan dress already!

 

Ha ha, just kidding. But seriously, that's an edgy, funky do...all of them are, and they're great :)

 

:) Snarky was just about to post lyrics to The Sugarcubes' "Sick for Toys" on inkdarkmoon's blog (Snarky surmises that they are both tired of their old toys, and need some new toys)... and now she's channeling Bjork? Synergy!

 

Truth be known, Snarky loved having long p0rno hair. It was just a bitch to maintain, and more days than not she would just slap it into an out-of-the-way twist than anything fancy.

 

Funny how one always wants what one cannot have. Snarky's dream hair is sort of Anne of Avonlea-esque.

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I'm lovin the Benatar! Good luck with growing out your hair. I recieved what I thought was my most flattering cut in Thailand for $8. Everything else that followed including a ridiculously overpriced cut has never quite measured up::sigh::

 

As for the Ring thing, I totally do that to my boy when I get annoyed at him :) He gets freaked out everytime 'cause I also add the jerky arm movements and whisper "I've fooouund youuu!"

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Snarky agrees: the Benatar rocked all kinds of casbah. Unfortunately she hasn't been able to find the stylist that gave her that rockin' 'do again (instead, she got the woman who gave her Those Bangs). So... to appease The Mister she's gonna try. "Try" being the operative wrd. (She's caught herself on more than one occasion recently looking at her fluffly, droopy silhouette with dissatisfaction and dismay.. everything is so... floopy right now!)

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My boy looooves my long hair. I never know what to do with it. I figure, it's going to waste on me. Might as well donate to somebody who needs it! I love growing it out and then doing a dramatic chop. I need to do that. I go through so much shampoo with it long.

 

Loving your Bjork hair!

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But short hair feels sooooo good! :)

 

:) Back! Back! (Snarky totally agrees... but she also likes playing with long hair. Maybe she should get a wig?)

 

My boy looooves my long hair. I never know what to do with it. I figure, it's going to waste on me. Might as well donate to somebody who needs it! I love growing it out and then doing a dramatic chop. I need to do that. I go through so much shampoo with it long.

 

Loving your Bjork hair!

 

The Chop is all kinds of theraputic and cathartic and all that good stuff. Snarky is lucky in that her hair does grow rather quickly, so she might get it long enough to appease for a bit and then SNICKETY-SNACK return of La Benatar/Bjork.

 

(Is Snarky the only person who wanders around saying "Bah-JORK e-jorky-jorky" a la the Swedish Chef of Muppet Show fame whenever she thinks of Bjork?)

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Ha! This thread combined with the forecast of 100 degree temperatures for the next week has inspired me to go get my hair chopped off tomorrow at the punk rock/roller derby salon. Not that I have that much to hack off, since it's only a chin-length bob, but it feels sooooo heavy and I end up pulling it back in a barrette and looking like a total dork. :)

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My lord, I loved the snark hair travelogue. It was just superb. I wish I had a travelogue of my hair colors, it would be a rather vivid thing, especially in the '80's. Then again, maybe I'm happy I don't have too many photos. :)

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Then again, maybe I'm happy I don't have too many photos. :)

Tell me about it -- I had some weird ideas of what looked good, including borrowing a guy friend's barbershop clippers and, yeah...

 

I did like the photo album, darkity! I say keep the Benatar and get a "hooker wig"

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I'm in the 'grow my hair out because I want an updo for the wedding' phase.

 

I so long to chop it off... I hate long hair.

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Then again, maybe I'm happy I don't have too many photos. :)

Tell me about it -- I had some weird ideas of what looked good, including borrowing a guy friend's barbershop clippers and, yeah...

 

I did like the photo album, darkity! I say keep the Benatar and get a "hooker wig"

 

Snarky has some Fredrick's of Hollywood Hooker Wigs in mind, should she decide to go that route. :)

 

The most egregious hair don't Snarky ever committed was the home perm of D00M back in the fifth grade. First off, Asians with perms are just WRONG. Secondly, the "puffy pyramid of lopsidedness" look, when paired with her decidedly dorky fashion sense at the time made for her Most Embarassing Class Photo Ever. If she can find it, she'll post it... but she thinks she probably burned all copies.

 

I'm in the 'grow my hair out because I want an updo for the wedding' phase.

 

I so long to chop it off... I hate long hair.

 

Long hair can be fun too... but yeah, for day-to-day it's a pain in the a**.

 

Snarky's old favorite long hair 'do involved rolling up her still-damp hair along her hairline, clipping the rolls into place with heavy duty butterfly-style clips, and doing a somewhat elaborate curlique coily thing in the back. This made for a funky crown effect that also resulted in fairy-ish curls at the end of the day.

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