tehriaz

mmffghmmnnnm. anyone who's heard anything from me before knows I am extremely picky about scents, and that even the scents I like in the bottle have about a 95% failure rate on me (80% bitter and 15% stale sweet, they all dry down exactly the same in either category.) but this doesn't do either. I first tried it several months ago and didn't like it - it reminded me of smelling cheap scented candles and bloody splinters (seriously! it was a sharp woody red scent - bloody splinters. don't tell me you don't know what I mean.) but aging has done fantastic things to my half decant. I tried it today on a whim and now I need more. this is PERFECT. mellow, rich fruits with a dirty woody undertone. I can distinctly smell the patchouli, and this is the kind I LOVE. not stinky headshop patchouli, but a true earthy smooth, almost golden kind. it has elements that faintly remind me of mme moriarty (naturally) but the two couldn't be more different on me. mme is horrendously stink-bitter, like all the worst smells in the world combined (seriously!) but this is smoooooth brown with a little bit of reddish rasp. I have this amazing fuzzy blanket that is a deep rich purply red with some kind of darker burgundy design on it, and this scent conjures the image/texture of the blanket. mnnfhhgh *eats arm* if she stays like this in a couple weeks, and isn't just nice right now as a result of pms skin chemistry, this'll be a new top 10. it's not terribly crowded up at the top for me - out of 500+ bpal scents I've found under 10 that I can actually wear. it's so sad. so that's huge praise for this one I also can't stand most of the CD art (wah wah blasphemy etc) but I like dionysia's art

okay - I tried both the original and the resurrected today... wet - oh gross. smells a lot like mme moriarty - trying to suppress gag reflex on skin - bathsheba. drying - I don't get snake oil at all. the arabian musk/plum combo is shrieking bathsheba to me. a slightly more nauseating bathsheba, where instead of clean carnation there's an indistinct cloying foody disgustingness sitting heavily and fatly all over the plum and arabian musk (it IS a nice musk though, and one I can wear [OMFG. I normally can't do musk], DAMN I wish the vanilla and coconut and amber weren't so god damned disgusting). why the hell doesn't beth use arabian musk more often? it's the only musk I actually like and can wear. dry - I'm not even getting any spice - this is just heavy and WAY too sweet and buttery and disgusting, with a dollop of fake cough medicine type fruit on top. nope, not even candy sweet fruit - cough medicine. this is just so... high pitched. does that make sense? some blends settle into my skin and mellow out but this is just WAY too sharp and only seems to get higher pitched and more cloying with wear. I really cannot express my revulsion, it makes my nose burn from about a foot and a half away. so, to sum it up, incredibly artificial smelling and unwearable. it doesn't really even morph on my skin much, it just seems to get higher pitched. for all the warping my skin does to EVERY OTHER BLEND, why couldn't it have warped this into something pleasant? how disappointing - I was actually expecting this to be at least understandably pleasant. the only positive thing I have to say about this blend is that it doesn't go bitter on me like 90% of bpal, falling instead into the "stale sweet" category that's only very slightly less repulsive.

um, banana? smells like fake banana both in the bottle and on skn. ew. eta: fake banana drizzled in artificial vanilla. this is incredibly gross, but I'm kind of fascinated and keep sniffing out of morbid curiosity I guess. WHY is it that the gross ones have such massive throw?

I cannot figure this one out! I couldn't STAND IT at first, it just smelled so artificial and gross. I let it sit for 20 minutes and the fruit is coming out, which is nice, but there's still a rank sweetness there, probably from the gross red musk. maybe I just hate red musk. ugh that's foul. *waits a bit longer* yup, it still smells artificial. the comparison to hair dye is spot on, it's that kind of artificial chemical undertone that's turning me waaaaay off. but oh, those little whiffs of fruit I keep catching because the throw is phenomenal... and the simple fact that this hasn't turned bitter! I catch a whiff and mmmmmm... and then I catch another whiff and then euughhh. there's something rubbery that makes me think of halloween masks about it too. I know you guys are going for horror, but um, I don't think that's quite what you had in mind. well, I'm giving it some serious consideration, I just wish I could get past all the damn chemical stink. I'll update this later... eta: this is turning out to be a big surprise! the fruit is sticking (it NEVER does on my skin) and it's DELICIOUS. that weird artificial edge is still present, but it's less offensive than it was. most importantly... it HASN'T GONE BITTER. this one might be a winner. gonna try wearing it and see how it goes, will likely update then too. I'm snowed in and have nothing better to do

oh WOW did I have high hopes for this one... in the bottle and first applied, this is LOVELY fruity green, DELICIOUS, but as I'm sniffing, within about 10 seconds, it goes straight to wasabi. I forgot about it for a couple minutes and went back to sniff, and it's... morphed into green phoenix. and now it's fading. wait a minute, that's supposed to be kiwi? oh, I guess I can see how.. yeah maybe, with a good stretch of the imagination. if I sniff my skin, this mostly smells like a sour green phoenix. there was something about GP that was nauseating to me, something about the combination of artificial tropical fruit and bitter greens (in that case papaya and sage) and this one is similar enough to not be an exception (I think I'm also learning what people mean by "soapy"). however if I lightly sniff the throw, it's actually quite nice. I guess really the throw is what's important, right? I'm gonna sit on my little testable sniffie of this stuff for a couple days to decide if I need more. I'll update this later... eta: THERE'S the bitterness. I knew it'd show up eventually, this one just took a lot longer than usual. how sad, I was actually starting to enjoy it for a little while there.

count me in with the wintergreen crowd. it's not really even minty - if it was, it wouldn't be this horrible. it's just a harsh artificial weird chemical smell. I can't trade this away fast enough.

I CANNOT understand why this scent isn't getting worshipful praise. okay. I've been holding off reviewing this one for a while cause I never feel like I can do a scent justice with my disorganized crap reviews (and I only bother writing a review if a scent REALLY moves me, and that goes for either end of the spectrum, including if I am utterly revolted by it). suffice it to say I'm pretty sure this is my favorite bpal EVER. this is a huge compliment especially because out of probably 500 scents, I only like/am able to wear (the two seldom overlap!) about 10-12 of them. it actually received an unsolicited compliment from one of my best friends who caught a whiff of it in the car when I opened the window to spit outside or something ("ooh, what is that? wow, that's a perfect 10!" and he's normally pretty "eh") and the lad gives it a high 9, and he's as discerning as I am. read: we're all elitist pricks. lol. this is just the most fantastic scent... it's a little incensey without being annoying-wannabe-hippie headshop loiterer (you're almost half a century too late, go away), spicy without being spice cabinet, sweet without being cloying, masculine in a unisex way (perfect for a RUGGED TOMBOY like me, but it would be incredibly nice on a man... something about restrained animalistic tendencies, I guess?) my nose picks up mostly patchouli in the bottle, with a bit of clove, but on my skin it just melts into a masculine clove vanilla, almost cookieish without being at all foody. and WOW that is some AMAZING patchouli - that's like, the ideal patchouli that I NEVER find in bpal. mmmmmmmmmmmm... and other bpal almost had me convinced that I did not in fact like patchouli, despite happy experiences with it beforehand. ...oh. oh NOW I've done it. okay, I'll sum it up thus: luscious penis-shaped spice cookies, made with dirt. 'nuff said.

I don't have good luck with beth's metallic notes, or wood, really, so I didn't have tremendously high hopes for this one... but oh. my. god. this is absolutely FANTASTIC. this is one of maybe 1% of bpals that I absolutely love in the bottle, wet on my skin, and dry. it's just ALWAYS fantastic. wet, it reminded me slightly of f5 and door 13, and a little bit of szepasszony while it was drying - that general impression of clean and wet and a little bit green. I LOVE this. I've only had it for a couple hours, but it's already in my top 5. there's something so sweet in a non-sugary way and relaxing about the drydown - there's a hint of something like chamomile in there. what a strange association. but, damn. I LOVE this. and out of maybe 400-500 scents with a success rate of about 1% - that's DAMN high praise. I hope I can find more of this!

oooomg - I LOVED this one instantly. someone said something about the little mermaid, and that's an absolutely perfect description - it makes me want to watch it! fruity, tropical, beachy. this is such a fun scent! ohhh I hope hope hope this doesn't dry down to single note "bitter crap" on me like 90% of bpal does... because this is lovely it makes me feel hydrated - how strange! ETA: yep. it was nice for 10-15 minutes, and there it is - straight nose-burning bitterness without the slightest hint of the former loveliness. this is un-fucking-fair.

ha! now I know what I'll do when I run out of f5 it's like f5 mixed with wilde. cool.

mmmm... in the vial: patchouli and sarsparilla with a hint of pine. mmm... on skin: oh jesus the pine amps up and it's *terrible* for a bit. euuughh. then I forgot about it for a while and sniffed my hand again later and.. drydown: *swooooon* no seriously, I am probably the pickiest sombitch on this forum, it is DAMN hard to get this reaction from me. this is LOVELY. the pine stfu'd and let the almond milk and patchouli cuddle on my skin. it's almost faintly buttery, but in a good, rich kind of way (I HATE foody) and the pine keeps it... dynamic? 's the best way it can be described. 9.7/10 *quietly adds to wanted/wish lists*

a first, this is a headache in a bottle. my nose burns for about 20 seconds after a single sniff. on - super sweet - I'm having a lot of trouble sniffing past that, and the burning. just sweet, nothing more. drying - it's starting to settle down, and I think I can pick out the tobacco. and hey! that MIGHT be the copal, the note I was most hoping for. I looove copal. there's a bit of the rose, but this is already turning bitter on me. dry - something's hitting me in the back of the throat a little unpleasantly. I really want to like this one, but it doesn't particularly jump out at me. it just has an overwhelming "dry" impression, and that's not really my style. it's pleasant enough, but I never find myself reaching for it. also that initial blast of nose burning sweet is way too much for me to handle, and I barely put any on!

hahah, what? this smells like a spicy vanilla on me. WAY off. but oh my god delicious. I hope it's this good when my chemistry and nose aren't off!

Annihilation. The ice, desolation and barrenness of nuclear devastation shot through by a beam of radioactive mints. sorry guys, I'm not seeing how "sugared christmas tree" equals desolation. gross.

what the hell? I'm slathering myself in ROSE and FRANKINCENSE as we speak. hell must have frozen over. these are two of my least favorite notes ever, that usually ruin blends for me. I only sniffed and tested this one to laff at the trainwreck. but WOW. this one just BLOOMS on my skin. it's so clean and comforting. I think maybe it reminds me of a box in my grandmother's house ten years ago. this really is fantastic! might consider a bottle... (what the HELL. I HATE rose and I HATE frankincense...)

what the hell? this dries down exactly like urd. wasn't too huge a fan of urd, either :\

this stuff is absolutely disgusting. it's just straight dirty laundry with a bit of fake fruit overtone in the bottle, then on my skin it goes through several disgusting morphs before ending up harsh, headachey bitter within 10 minutes. that bitterness amps out, not a trace of fruit or vanilla or anything nice - it turns to straight fresh wet asphault mixed with crushed vitamins and excrement. this is absolutely horrendous. I've tried a decant, a fresh bottle, a several month aged bottle, and a year aged bottle, and they're all the same, except they smell a little different in the bottle - aged ones are rotting fruit versus cough medicine in fresher bottles. my rating scale doesn't go low enough for this one. 0/5, though DAMN, it's REALLY a lot lower. eta: on TOP of how horrible it is on its own, I get a migraine every time I try to wear this hateful poison.

damn.. had high hopes for this one. sickly sweet fake vanilla splattered on a generic rear view pine air freshener. just makes me think of clean leather seats. where are the exotic resins? where's the tobacco? gross. it's making me a little bit ill ETA: I take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THIS STUFF. oh my god it's so good and has a stay unlike any other bpal I've ever tried. I put some on at 5am when I went to bed, and woke up at 10 and could smell it on my arms and my boy. wonderful. it just needs a little time to mellow on the skin. and don't smell it close up because ech. but wafting... it's the most incredible thing I've ever smelled. WOW. need multiple bottles. one more ETA: DJFKLJHDKJHFKJDHF this is incredible ETA ONE MORE TIME: euuughh! I just got a bottle of this stuff aged, and it's horrendous! it smells like fucking graham crackers and molasses with licorice overtones! what the fuck, I thought this shit would age well. this is gross. maybe I should sell my backup bottles now while they're still worth something.

I can't sniff this even lightly without coughing. this is one of the most nauseating bpals I've ever smelled. it's burnt plastic and cloying head-aching sweetness. this is HORRID

bug spray. I'm hope hope hoping that my chemistry's just off this week...

my skin's mostly pulling out the wood and spice, for once! oh this is marvelous. it's dry, strong chai type spices over a mellow hint of snake oil, bobbing merrily over turquoise waters. I'm so glad I chanced a bottle unsniffed. providing this doesn't take a sharp turn to something gross, or last all of ten minutes on my skin like most bpal, I think I may have found a new favorite. delicious!

it's SO good for ten minutes and then it turns to nauseating bitter oakmossy crap, which is the ONLY smell my skin holds onto for more than fifteen minutes, EVER. how the hell can you people wear these good notes for so long?

straight up diapery jasmine, and nothing else. IT'S MAKING MY HAND ITCH

Water lily, peony, seaweed absolute, lotus, Spanish moss, violet leaf, and marine accord. mm... this is what I wanted selkie to be. it ends up drying down the same way ophelia did on me... but I think it's different enough. I'll be hunting modestly for a bottle...

what the HELL? how is it possible for anyone to take such a delicious note list like that and completely ruin it? these are all of my favorite notes - it's like I dreamed this blend into existence. I had such high hopes for this one, but this is completely foul. the cardamom is WAY too green and sharp, and the black pepper is an outright assault on the nose. it's absolutely beyond unpleasant in the bottle, but improves a bit on the skin. eventually it turns a little creamier and more tolerable, after about half an hour or so, but by that point it's too faint to even be detectable. I can barely even smell it on my skin. I'll put this aside to age for a couple days, maybe a couple weeks, even a couple months, because I really want it to work on me. I'll likely update this review then. but as it stands, I'm completely disappointed. 2/5. ***ETA: almost two months later, this has aged really nicely. it sort of reminds me of spiced donut dusting, if that makes sense? and it smells almost fried, like a donut. cinnamon sugared donut, what the hell. it's okay. I like it anyway. 4.5/5. ETA ONCE MORE: gonna have to revise this yet again. this... is really fuckin good. smooth, unsweetened spices... just what I've been looking for. on me, there's almost a salty note to it that reminds me slightly of scherezade. I love it. 5/5, in my top three for sure, multiple bottle purchase. ETA ONE LAST TIME PROMISE: this stuff went super sicky sweet on me for a couple months, and now the cardamom turns stale and gross after about 10 minutes, like graham crackers or something similarly inappropriate. I know it's the "cardamom" because bezoar and hay moon are repulsively stale too. I LOVE cardamom, I make authentic chai from scratch, grinding the spices by hand in a mortar and pestle, and I can tell you that a freshly ground cardamom pod smells absolutely nothing like this shit, and I've also had the orgasmic pleasure of sampling real pure cardamom essential oil (thinned for skin application of course), and it's wonderful beyond words. no idea what's actually in this blend then; how sad, as I really really wanted to like this. 2/5. on a side note: for the love of god, ladies, STOP calling it "CHAI TEA." it's incredibly redundant.