Macha

I can hardly go into a bookstore these days. It's too heartbreaking; a reminder of things I have not finished. In this case, I haven't just not-finished one book — I haven't finished TWO. Ah, isn't it nice to be self-indulgent and whiny? Seriously though...I really need to shake these birds lose. Both books are dear to my heart, and both were begun almost a decade ago, when my ex-husband and I wanted to do something to 'bond' together and thought 'hey, we could always write a novel...' Both novels were written, and both novels were even finished — and both novels were absolute, unmitigated crap. Plot holes so big they could have been used as fallout shelters, themes and characters that were borrowed from RPGs (orcs, elves, etc.) for no other reason than because we'd always played RPGs: the best thing I could say about those books is that they were, for the most part, well-paced. So after the divorce, intellectual property copyrights in hand — I decided to re-write them. And that's where I've been ever since — rewriting. A whole lot of world-building, and a whole lot of self-editing, of "this isn't good enough." Now I'm stuck in both books, in almost the same place, with solid first halfs and good endings, but a little fuzzy on the last third. Guess it's time to break out the the notes and go back over things. I'm going to finish these, damnit. Wearing today: Obatala (creamy, milky goodness)

How the heck did I miss Determination from the last update? Hmm... Anyway, my tentative wish list goes something like: 1. Blessing of Isis 2. Anthelion 3. Blockbuster 4. Hymn to Pan 5. Lionheart 6. Mantle of Venus 7. Road Opener (for my boyfriend) 8. Foundation of Fortune 9. Haitian Gambler 10. King Solomon's 11. Lady Luck 12 Perpetuum Bonum 13. Snake Eyes 14. Aegis 15. Determination 16. Energy Himm...that's what...$400 worth of oils? Ahem...might need to pare that down a bit.

I use them all ritually — but in many cases the only difference between using them ritually and using them as perfume is intent. Particularly in the cases of oils like Concentration or Hand of Hermes, ritual use is nothing more than putting some on the palms of your hands, rubbing them together while thinking of the result, and inhaling briefly with my hands cupped over my face. I will either annoint myself with Nine Muses or put it in the wax warmer, depending on where I am. Catalyst tends to be the wax warmer only — it works great, but smells bloody awful on me, so I find if I actually try to annoint myself it's only a distraction, rather than a help. Most of the other stuff? A small votive candle dressed with the oil, a few contributing props that go with what I'm trying to accomplish, annointing myself. I'm not getting terribly complicated with these things. I'm very much still learning. Oh, I have been known to wear Aunt Caroline's Money Draw as perfume. Just can't help it. That stuff smells SOOOO good. I blame it on my dark little Capricorn heart.

I've generally found that the initial concept is easy (in fact, I have more of them than I'll likely ever turn into books,) plot is tougher (mainly because you will come up with something you like and only realize later that you missed something very important -- part of my current problem) and characters aren't usually very hard (although they take work to make interesting.) What I've found most challenging is the entire world...Hmm...more on this later I think.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately too. A lot. I've been working as a graphic artist or art director (read: graphic artist with a snazzier title) for 17 years -- half my life. In fact, I've never had a job that wasn't in this field. I have what is called a "career" -- I'm not the highest paid in my field, but I have skill and I can meet a deadline and I've reached the point in my life where if I'm turned down for a job it's probably because I'm overqualified (read: no longer young, hip and willing to do insane things for no money.) And of course, no one wants to pay graphic artists anything unless you get in at some high-pressure ad agency, and that has all the job security of a tofu salesman trapped on an island of cannibals. And through it all, the words someone said to me a few years back keep haunting me: "Wealth is how much money you make when you are not working." His point (one that I hadn't been particularly interested in listening to at the time) had been that I was not successful, not wealthy, not even "middle-class" -- because it all ends tomorrow if I'm too sick to produce. Any money I make is directly tied to my ability to create art -- put me in a position where I cannot personally draw/sketch/use a computer program, and those debts that follow me around like a pack of angry, yappy dogs turn on their owner very quickly. Once upon a time, an artist could count on royalties to see them through, but in this age of work-for-hire and all-rights-purchased, that's becoming increasingly unlikely to be the answer to my problems. I walk such a razor's edge. I have a few friends who own their own businesses, and a funny thing happens when they get sick -- their businesses keep making money. Their employees continue to sell their products, the wheels of their business machine might slow by the lack of their presence, but they continue to move. I've seen their frustrations and their risks and the ulcer-causing stresses they put up with, but I've also seen some of the rewards, one of the largest of which seems to be the freedom to meet life's challenges with considerably more grace and security than I currently have. I'm starting to feel a little like Scarlet O'Hara and vowing I'll never be poor again, you know? I'm so TIRED of living this way, of working for the success of causes I care nothing about (BPAL, it should be noted, is a cause I care a great deal about) or actively dislike. I'd like to whore for my own success, not someone else's. Just not sure how I'm going to make that happen. Yet.

I remember Beth telling me that she was working on a scent for Obatala, and three weeks later, she was still working on it — this from a woman with an uncanny talent for coming up with genius formulas in an hour or two when inspiration strikes. But Obatala needed to be perfect — it needed to be white and pure. She was, perhaps uncharacteristically, obsessing over it. And when she let me smell her creation, I knew that she'd gotten it exactly right. This is simply divine — when I first tried to describe it, I said that it was, "...predominantly of shea butter, with a soft, milky aquatic vibe. It's like stepping out of a milk bath and slathering yourself with a good shea lotion and wrapping yourself in a clean, thick cotton towel — that feel of warm and clean." Since then, I have become, if possible, even more impressed by the scent. The aquatic note keeps it from being too cloying sweet, the milk evens out the coconut, the coconut balances the aquatic. Further study reveals that yes, there is most definitely a coconut present, but don't let it scare you — it is the best coconut. It is the sort of coconut to help you find your love of coconut again. It's just a gorgeous perfume — subtle, creamy, pure and fresh. I love it.

I know what you mean. On all of it: the blogging (and for the same reasons,) the dealing with growing older, the dealing with death. I don't know if it helps to say I've gone through it too. Our pain always seems so unique. A biiiig I don't think this has been a very good month for many of us.

I don't think the Lab was happy about it, but the alternative was passing along crappy bottles that break or leak....well, you can see there was little choice.

We'll be seeing more and more amber bottles that have nothing to do with novelty — my understanding is that the lab is switching to them because they have yet to find a supplier of cobalt bottles that is reliable in quality.

Grabbed Saturn this morning on a lark...don't think it's agreeing with me. It's very dark, very strong, woodsy with a vetiver kick. Extremely masculine, but not in a sexy sweaty fun way. I don't necessarily have a problem with vetiver (it's not an automatic deal breaker for me) but that said, there is many a vetiver blend that would not be my first, fifth or fiftieth choice in the morning, and I suspect Saturn is one of those. Does a wonderful job of encapsulating the idea of Saturn though... I suspected that this might be the case, so I snagged a bottle of Benghal on my way out the door as my safety net. Needless to say, it's going to be used.

*cough* *cough* AHEM. I told you I was new to this blogging stuff.

Finally managed to get the Dragon Moon design to Beth last night. Of course, what I didn't realize at the time was that I probably sent it about 5 minutes after Ted's computer had its meltdown. Fortunately I was able to resend the art, and *crosses fingers* with luck it should go up soon. But the way the Lab goes through computers, I'm not taking bets or anything. *wince* As far as the shirt goes...I'm quite happy with it, and I'm a bit dragon obsessed, so there ya go. (I can vividly remember being an absolutely incensed twelve-year-old who, upon being asked to tone down my mural of Tiamat fighting Bahamut for the Girl's Club Tea Party, put my hands on hips and said "Tiamat is not CUTE!") Ahem. Not sure what that has to do with anything, except that I was quite a dragon-loving geek then, and still am. Oh, and am counting the seconds until Beth comes out with that Tiamat blend she mentioned, obviously. Anyway, Dragon Moon. I likie. Oh, and it just went live here.

Thanks. That entry above would have made SO much more sense if I had done this whole thing correctly when I wrote it (sometime last week) but ah well. Such is life. I can't wait to get my hands on a shirt too!

I snagged a bottle of Tarot:the Star a while back and promptly forgot about it. (I keep my 10ml bottles in a different container than my 5mls, so I don't tend to "see" them in the morning when I'm deciding what to wear, and out of sight, out of mind, as the saying goes.) Damn, but this is pretty. It's a delightful sweet, creamy lime, and reminds me a bit of the lime Italian sodas I've been making lately by adding sugar-free vanilla syrup to lime-infused soda water. I could truly dump this stuff on me...just spectacular. I now understand what all the fuss is about.

As far as the actual lunacy perfumes go, I anticipate that this will (likely) be my least favorite, since Lotus and I don't get along. On the other hand, as an artistic endeavor, the lotus is rife with some wonderful sexy symbolism. And I think I know just what I'm going to do....*cue evil theme music*....BWAHAHAHAHA...err....ahem. Sorry about that. I get carried away. Something a little different than the normal style. And my goal is to have it so the boys can wear it too. May not be possible...must play... (At this stage, of course, I have no clue what the perfume itself will smell like. That's pretty normal.)

Rappaccini's Garden has its own labels, which are standard for that line. So any Rappaccini's Garden scent (that includes Opium Poppy and Sundew) comes with the art deco garden label. The Muses, Come and See, Tarot, and Illumination scents also have their own labels.

Well...the Monsters hit when we were a bit crunched. They ARE clip-art. They're just clip art that we bought the rights to use. Peony Moon though, is indeed all mine.

It's not... The copyright issues alone. Oh vey. Any resemblance is quite coincidental.

Merged a thread covering the same ground with this one, but because Filigree_shadow hasn't had her question answered, I'm bumping it to make sure people see it. Just fyi, Filigree, I don't this anyone who's not lab staff can answer that question. It may be that CCNow is somehow factored differently into the work flow, but I've seen how the lab fufills orders and it seems unlikely. More probably — you just pulled some bad luck. Although with the lab getting more of the cut with Paypal, I'm all in favor of people thinking that method will get the order to them faster.

It's a Twilight Alchemy Scent, so it may be a little difficult to get a hold of, but try looking for Yemaja. Strongly melon and very good.

Ever had someone hand you a glass of coca-cola when you thought they were handing you root beer? That first sip is horrible -- not because the coca-cola is necessarily bad, but because it's not what you were expecting. Your mind was geared up for root beer...it didn't quite know what to do with the taste of kola nut. This is very much like my experience with Night's Pavilion. I opened up the bottle and inhaled and spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out where I had smelled that before, because it was very familiar, it was reminding me of something in specific, and to my nose it was neither chill nor frosty or reminiscent of night....it was tea. Yes, tea. Not just any tea, but loose yerba mate tea, unflavored. WTF? I had a jar of it in the office, so I wandered over to compare: an exact match. So I was a little weirded out by this. Certainly this was not what I was expecting, nor does it really match with any of the other reviewer's impressions so far. But...tea. There was no getting around it: I tried it on to see if it would change on my skin. And wet, it does not. It's straight yerba mate, drying down into a soapy note that I associate with some white florals in reaction to my skin. It has fair throw and is a bit light on the staying power side, but mostly I was expecting one thing from the perfume, and got something so totally different that I'm still in a bit of shock from it. As such, I'll probably pull out this perfume again in a few weeks and see if I change my mind, but right now I suspect it's just not meant to be.

Four. We couldn't make up our minds on which one to use.

When I first put this on, it is all sandalwood and incense, and very much reminds me of walking into the Psychic Eye on Ventura Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley, or any other occult/metaphysical bookstore of the same type. Ah, how quickly that changes. I have a peculiar relationship with honey, you see. I may have mentioned that before. I can't wear "O" or well, really any strongly honey fragrance. It doesn't just amplify on my skin, but goes very very rank and nasty. So there are a few BPAL fragrances that I have simply resigned myself to never being able to properly experience, and while I ordered Khajuraho, I certainly didn't expect it would work on me. So about 5 minutes after application, when my skin started to amp the honey, I assumed that was pretty much the end of it. But I must admit: Khajuraho surprised me. Yes, it does turn into sweet honey on me, almost single-note in strength, but to my amazement, it did not turn rancid. This honey is evidentally grounded enough by the florals and sandalwood to stay lovely, sweet and fresh. Basically, Khajuraho seems to be a honey alternative to "O" that I can actually wear, which makes me very, very happy.

If your order through CCNow hasn't gone through yet, you should be able to cancel it directly through them.

Hehe! Thanks! I just finished the Lupercalia labels. They make me happy.