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XXXIII In bottle: light diffused honey On skin: sugared roses Half-hour later: the delicious O honey has warmed up under some fairly strong florals, maybe jasmine or orchid? In conclusion: I'm so in love with O, it could be blended with anchovy paste or garlic and I'd still enjoy it. Sometimes floofy flowers like rose and jasmine can be overpowering, but the O base is quietly assertive, simply shrugging its shoulders and saying, "Ain't no thing but a chicken wing on a string." Like Honey Moon or Hony Mone with more luscious honey.

Really ridiculous, insanely inappropriate, and staggeringly silly! Cranky groundhog musk sweetened up by chocolate-covered black cherries, cardamom, French vanilla, and caramel. In bottle: creamy coca On skin: blast of cocoa, then spicy cinnamon warms up. I’m not a big cinnamon fan, but this is more sweet and boozy like cinnamon schnapps Half-hour later: still lots of sweetened cinnamon In conclusion: where’s the caramel? Where are the chocolate-covered cherries? The groundhog must have eaten them on the way, because all I got was lots of cinnamon. This may be appropriate as a February LE because they do remind me of the heart-shaped cinnamon candies you'd get as a kid with your Valentines.

Do not smirk as a hearse goes by, For you may be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet And throw you down six feet deep. They put you in a big black box, And cover you up with dirt and rocks. All goes well for a week or two, Then things start changing; all is new. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout. A big green worm with rolling eyes, Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes. Til your blood turns mossy green And oozes out like Devonshire cream. Worm Moon marks the season of rains, when the worms scuttle forth, aerating the earth with their movements and enriching the soil by digesting waste in organic material, which creates organic fertilizer. Since April is Black Phoenix's Month of Absurdity, we present a melding of Victorian Grotesquery and springtime fecundity: mold-crusted dirt, decomposing organic matter, coffin wood, drooping funeral flowers, congealed blood, gloomy lunar oils, cuckoo flower, and a gruesome burst of overripe red fruits. Love the jaunty skeleton on the label! In bottle: clean chlorinated dust On skin: dusty white florals with a clear chlorine tang Half-hour later: some watery fruit (like cranberries floating in a bog) has become stronger, but that and the flowers are just hanging out under that great "clean" dirt note In conclusion: this is amazingly clean-smelling when the description is all rotting and decomposing. This blend ranks up there with Dead Man's Hand as something to experience, not just something to grab before work or going out. Amazing and unique! I really like this one.

THE LAST OF THE SPIRITS The Phantom slowly, gravely, silently approached. When it came near him, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and mystery. It was shrouded in a deep black garment, which concealed its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible save one outstretched hand. But for this it would have been difficult to detach its figure from the night, and separate it from the darkness by which it was surrounded. He felt that it was tall and stately when it came beside him, and that its mysterious presence filled him with a solemn dread. He knew no more, for the Spirit neither spoke nor moved. “I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?” said Scrooge. The Spirit answered not, but pointed onward with its hand. “You are about to show me shadows of the things that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us,” Scrooge pursued. “Is that so, Spirit?” The upper portion of the garment was contracted for an instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had inclined its head. That was the only answer he received. Although well used to ghostly company by this time, Scrooge feared the silent shape so much that his legs trembled beneath him, and he found that he could hardly stand when he prepared to follow it. The 70 Spirit paused a moment, as observing his condition, and giving him time to recover. But Scrooge was all the worse for this. It thrilled him with a vague uncertain horror, to know that behind the dusky shroud, there were ghostly eyes intently fixed upon him, while he, though he stretched his own to the utmost, could see nothing but a spectral hand and one great heap of black. “Ghost of the Future!” he exclaimed, “I fear you more than any spectre I have seen. But as I know your purpose is to do me good, and as I hope to live to be another man from what I was, I am prepared to bear you company, and do it with a thankful heart. Will you not speak to me?” It gave him no reply. The hand was pointed straight before them. “Lead on!” said Scrooge. “Lead on! The night is waning fast, and it is precious time to me, I know. Lead on, Spirit!” Blackcurrant, myrrh, and vetiver. Wet: stinky (slightly skunky) vetiver On skin: dirty vetiver and dusty myrrh are duking it out Half-hour later: ah, this is much nicer. The blackberry has appeared to sweeten things up a tad In conclusion: this is a moody and reflective blend, dark and appealing. The vetiver isn't stomping all over everything, and I really like the myrrh in this one, it's assertive and self-righteously wrathful like an evil preacher. I liked this a lot more than I thought I would.

Skoll the wolf who shall scare the Moon Till he flies to the Wood-of-Woe: Hati the wolf, Hridvitnir's kin, Who shall pursue the Sun. Red musk, black currant, violet leaf, wild frankincense, lavender, black orchid, Darjeeling tea, vetiver, red moss, myrrh, Moroccan spices, blackened fruit gums, and tobacco. In bottle: dusty flowers On skin: lots of black tea and dust Half-hour later: the tea is less dusty and more infused with "red" notes, especially the fruity black currant In conclusion: I knew this would be a light and dusty blend between the tea, myrrh, violet leaf and frankincense. This is like Chrysanthemum Moon with all the dusty florals, with additional red fruit popping in later. I love the ending, the fruit isn't too sweet. Beautiful!

Among these the most formidable was a burly, roaring, roystering blade, of the name of Abraham, or, according to the Dutch abbreviation, Brom Van Brunt, the hero of the country round, which rang with his feats of strength and hardihood. He was broad-shouldered and double-jointed, with short curly black hair, and a bluff, but not unpleasant countenance, having a mingled air of fun and arrogance. From his Herculean frame and great powers of limb, he had received the nickname of BROM BONES, by which he was universally known. He was famed for great knowledge and skill in horsemanship, being as dexterous on horseback as a Tartar. He was foremost at all races and cock-fights; and, with the ascendancy which bodily strength acquires in rustic life, was the umpire in all disputes, setting his hat on one side, and giving his decisions with an air and tone admitting of no gainsay or appeal. He was always ready for either a fight or a frolic; but had more mischief than ill-will in his composition; and, with all his overbearing roughness, there was a strong dash of waggish good humor at bottom. He had three or four boon companions, who regarded him as their model, and at the head of whom he scoured the country, attending every scene of feud or merriment for miles round. In cold weather he was distinguished by a fur cap, surmounted with a flaunting fox's tail; and when the folks at a country gathering descried this well-known crest at a distance, whisking about among a squad of hard riders, they always stood by for a squall. Sometimes his crew would be heard dashing along past the farmhouses at midnight, with whoop and halloo, like a troop of Don Cossacks; and the old dames, startled out of their sleep, would listen for a moment till the hurry-scurry had clattered by, and then exclaim, "Ay, there goes Brom Bones and his gang!" The neighbors looked upon him with a mixture of awe, admiration, and good will; and when any madcap prank, or rustic brawl, occurred in the vicinity, always shook their heads, and warranted Brom Bones was at the bottom of it. The butchest, manliest of musks covered in well-worn leather. In bottle: sweet dusky leather On skin: woo, there's a blast of swarthy musk, but it's tempered by the dry slightly-sweet leather Half-hour later: pretty much the same, the smutty musk anchoring the dry leather In conclusion: the simple ingredients of dark musk and sweet dusty leather make an awesome combination. The musk isn't too masculine on me either; it's deep and dreamy. This ends up as an acceptable dupe of Dead Man's Hand, one of my favorite uniquely-BPAL blends. I knew I'd love this one!

In bottle: vague cocoa On skin: punchy musk and patchouli, woof! Half-hour later: this is lots of dark musk and patchouli, and cocoa is trying in vain to sweeten this up a bit. Blood musk is in Tombeur, a big favorite of mine, and turns out different than red musk on me. Definitely darker and more feral.

In bottle: light dusty incense On skin: sweet incense, pretty! Half-hour later: still lots of sweet incense In conclusion: this goes for hours and hours -- how nice that this doesn't disappear on me. The sweetness isn't too sugary or floral, and is a nice top note to the barely-wooden frankincense.

In bottle: green, like A Blade of Grass On skin: lots of fresh juicy green with a little bit of rose. Pretty! Half-hour later: rose is stronger, but it's a light perky rose, not deep & dark like Rose Red In conclusion: I was hoping this would be more dusty leaves instead of juicy greenness, but the rose is so nice and not powdery (and strong too!) that I don't mind. More of a spring/summer blend than a fall one.

In bottle: salted almonds On skin: lots of leather, half-way between dusty Dead Man's Hand and shiny-sleek DeSade or Spanked Half-hour later: still some leather, and patchouli with a vengeance In conclusion: all I got with this one was leather and patchouli, and nothing else appeared on me. However, it's a nice combo -- I like it more than the discordant patchouli and vanilla combo of Banshee Beat. Both the leather and patch are mellow versions of itself, and it's comforting in a "hug from a good guy friend" way.

You come to a building that seems to have been hastily erected from splintered wood, stone, and plaster. Flickering light from within sparkles out through blood-tinged chunks of glass that have been wedged into the arch entrance. You push open the thick velvet curtain that covers the mouth of the building and look inside. The chapel is small and cramped, and the air is thick with heavy incense, bitter wine, sulphur, and the coppery scent of blood. A massive stained glass window is set against the back wall, glowing brightly. In the center of the room, a groveling figure is crouched before a woman draped in purple-black clerical robes. The woman's eyes are filled with righteous hellfire, and she extends a hand in benediction to the man who has fallen prostrate at her feet. He murmurs, "Libera Te Ex Caelum", and she gestures for him to rise. As he gets to his knees he winces in pain and moans in a strange expression of ecstasy, and you see small horns growing from his skull. Black incense, bitter wine, brimstone, and blood. In bottle: gritty dirt On skin: wowee, this is a dark blend. The incense is as black as charcoal, smoldering on a stone altar Half-hour later: sweetens up a bit with the wine, but this is the scariest, spookiest wine blend I've ever tried In conclusion: this blend sounded almost too dark for me, but I'm hypnotically lured by any wine blend. This one is a great combination of the sweeter wine with the pitch-black eeeevil.

In bottle: pungent incense On skin: dry sandy incense Half-hour later: clean incense, almost soapy In conclusion: this is another Southern California blend, like June Gloom '09 -- both remind me of home. The dry incense and soap combine to make a blend full of fresh air.

In bottle: sweet musk On skin: blast of smutty musk, pow! Half-hour later: dirty honey has appeared, with a bit of wood and dusty champaca In conclusion: this reminds me of several favorite blends -- Womb Furie mostly, but also Snake Oil (obviously) and even Hellion with the patchouli and champaca flower. Another classic blend.

In bottle: delicious rum extract On skin: boozy rum, not too sweet Half-hour later: warm vanilla wood In conclusion: this one seems complex for a "single" note. The ending is what I liked about Hony Mone, dark creamy vanilla that's good enough to eat. No strong clove or almond on me.

In bottle: high-pitched perfume On skin: creamy Lace base right away, that perfumey vanilla Half-hour later: the Lace base is dustied up with dry leaves and tobacco In conclusion: I like that this one starts out as Black Lace ends, the vanilla and linen that's strong and "perfumey" but not too obnoxious. The dustier ending reminds me of Hunter Moon 2007, those October leaves crackling above the vanilla. This blend is stronger overall than the past few Laces I've bought, which seem to fade quickly.

In bottle: sweet light roses On skin: roses with bitter resins Half-hour later: sweetened roses with a bitter incensey tinge In conclusion: I love the BPAL Rose blends for the most part -- such a snooty flower, but so pretty. I like the resiny incense base on this one, like what I wanted Parlement of Foules to be.

In bottle: flan! On skin: plastic? boooo Half-hour later: luscious butterscotch pudding, but oops! I dropped it in the dirt! 5-second rule? I'll eat it anyway In conclusion: I'm glad that plastic phase disappeared, but that's typical of some of the dessert-y blends on me. Very Midway-esque, starts out a bit "fake" but mellows out. This ends up reminding me of Banshee Beat, that odd yet endearing combo of sweet and dirt.

THE HERAEON OF ARGOS Argive Hera. The temple in the Argolid that was dedicated to Hera, the Queen of Heaven, in her aspect as the Great Triple Goddess. Pomegranate, apple blossom, fig, willow bark, and almond. Wet: sweet almonds On skin: acidic pom juice, great for a cocktail! Half-hour later: the pom juice has disappeared, leaving me with dusty sweet figs In conclusion: I had to scroll through previous reviews to find what this reminded me of: Miller v. California! I think it's the figs and the willow bark turning "brown paper bag" dusty.

In bottle: very light flowers On skin: sugar-sweetened floral Half-hour later: fading fast, how sad In conclusion: this one reminds me of Numb, without the strongly astringent mint. Light and pretty, but wish it would hang around instead of flitting away.

In bottle: dark juice On skin: acidic fruit juice, too sour to drink Half-hour later: settled down a bit with a base of light musk In conclusion: this is definitely the blueberry from Crawdad Dream, super-juicy and not too sweet. I like that there's a musky base -- not a bakery base, but something to keep the fruit from disappearing or turning to plastic. A great long-lasting fruity blend.

In bottle: astringent On skin: light & airy licorice, not dark at all Half-hour later: darker and sweeter, with lots of sugar. Nice Lace base too In conclusion: I took the plunge on this one, even though absinthe isn't one of my favorites (too much like black licorice). But this is great -- sweet without being over-the-top, not too boozy and no overpowering black licorice. I've been wearing this one all week.

In bottle: watery sweet tea On skin: lots of dusky almost-white musk Half-hour later: settled down into that creamy Lace-ish base, sweet and dusty In conclusion: my only fear was the tea, and luckily that doesn't come out too strong on me. This one lasted a decent amount of time on me too. Another nice Lace blend.

In bottle: tropical drink On skin: boozy and sweet Half-hour later: the coconut has arrived, dark and dusky In conclusion: as others mentioned, this has the more "natural" coconut from Tiki Princess. I was a bit disappointed that the ambergris wasn't stronger (I know!) because I thought that would make it more saltwater beachy, but I can't complain. This is a darker summer blend, if that makes any sense -- something to wear out at night in the summer when it's still 90 at 10:00.

In bottle: alcoholy floral On skin: slightly boozy sweetness, but nothing overwhelming Half-hour later: lots of frankincense and champaca, dusty and sweet In conclusion: I was a bit nervous when other reviewers complained of too much sweet & boozy rum, as that's how Red Lantern ended up on me and I had to swap it away. I love that this blend has lots of champaca and frankincense with a little bit of booze, it's strong and distinctive without being too heady.

In bottle: sweetened nuts On skin: delicious honey & nuts Half-hour later: musk and just a touch of pine has "fuzzied" the nuts In conclusion: there's just the right amount of berries, nuts and musk to make it sweet and luscious without being too foody. Even black cherry and pine, normally too strong in other blends, are mellow and smooth. Blackbear and Oak Moon are two edible Lunacies, unusual and interesting!