Kittyflop

I've worn Hope about six times in the last two weeks. Normally, I wear any given scent about once or twice a month, if that. I just keep being drawn back to it. Sugary rose wet, rose with sweet vanilla dry. I do get a vanilla undercurrent after it dries down. It lasts forever as well - the first time I put it on was at noon, and I could smell it still the next morning. I've always had to mix bpal's roses with something sweet to make them work on me, and this is the one blend that has it all, in just the right proportions.

I'm also firmly in the 'jasmine' camp. It's not straight jasmine, there's something else floral playing there, but I'm one of those 'skin amps jasmine like the dickens' people. Which is sad, because I wish I could get more of the subtlety from it.

OK, that came out totally wrong, but I admit I did say it. I love Shanghai Tunnel. I was trying (in my poor verbal skilz way) to describe somthing both mineral/stony, and green/mossy/living. The aquatic element is different from what I normally think of as 'aquatic'. It smells like underground. It morphs over time, from the aquatic to the woods/greens to the stony coldness. A very unique aroma.

Since I'm terrible at naming notes, I had to cheat and read through previous reviews. This is a gorgeous, strong, creamy floral. It's gardenia in all it's glory. I haven't found the rose yet, but it may just be well blended, and the musk gives it a lovely earthy feel. It's the best kind of flowery. It has tremendous staying power, too. A beautiful tribute to this city!

First whiff, slightly soapy floral. Like a very high-end, nice laundry soap. As it wafts: I get more of a sweet, clear violet. It has a strong throw. (I have it in a scent locket) . It smells cold. Icy. I don’t get much of the amber. Sadly I can’t remember what orris is like, so it might be showing too. A few minutes later – holy CRAP that is strong! Even in a locket under my shirt it’s making me sneeze. Off off off. I think I like this but must use verrry little. After discarding the felt, about 15 minutes later, I can still smell it faintly wafting up from the locket - and I do like it.

Fruity, lightly sweet. Pear? A bit of green-ness to it. Fresh. Watery. A stream of lightly pear-scented water. As it dries, some floral notes come forward to compete with the pear. (I’m not sure why I’m stuck on the pear – I don’t think it’s in the notes!) Pretty, a bit light for what I’m used to, but it is lasting a surprisingly long time. This will be a lovely spring scent.

Wet in the bottle my first thought was GRAPE! I think that's as much because I was expecting it to be. It's very purple - great representation of a beautiful color. On drydown, it's a very rich, full vibrant floral with a tang to it (cognac?) and also an underlying sweetness. It's beautiful and deep - and is lasting. A small bit goes a long way on me. I will use this one often, methinks.

We're just not communicating anymore. We don't have the same things in common. Sure, we used to be like two peas in a pod - finishing each other's sentences. We always knew what the other was thinking. But now? We're just not clicking. First it was Carnival Diabolique. Your words were so pretty, but you scents just didn't add up. Carnival Noir was so dead on - everything I smelled just enhanced the experience. But with CD, we're just not on the same wavelength. Nothing you said made sense. Then Tavern of Hell - a complete disappointment. This should have been so perfect! But no connection. And Horreur Sympathique is the proverbial nail in the coffin. Fruit? How did we ever see eye to eye? Sure there have been a few good times. 'I Died For Beauty' - wow. you were so eloquent, it touched my soul. But like all good things, the feeling didn't last. There's still a chance we can save this. But, I have to be honest, I'm finding myself attracted to others. Others who understand me more. No, really, it's not you - it's me. I'm changing. You were my first - and that will always be special to me. But maybe it's time for us to explore new options. *Dramatical note: yeah, this sounds like teh drama. I've often watched people make Le grand exit - selling off all their bpal because 'they just don't want to be a part of this'. I ain't selling it - I love what I have! To be honest, the reason for all this is to make me so embarrassed about my dramatic departure that I won't sign back in. I really need to break myself of this addiction that is the forum. I doubt I'll succeed, but hell, it's worth a try. And it's all true, at that..

Fruit. Sweet, candy-like. Not the slightest bit hellish or hellbound. Not sure if it's just my nose, but this is a total miss. It's a nice scent for the fruit fans, but nothing like I expected from the description. Too.... sweet and fruity. Exactly the opposite of hellbound, I'm afraid. *pout*

Thanks for the support minilux! I have trouble finding the grey area between 'not giving something a fair shake' and 'trying to force it'. I want to be curious and not dismiss something out of hand, but it's hard. But I also believe that forcing myself to participate in something that doesn't feel right, not only makes me feel silly (and guarantees that I'll fail), but disrespects the tradition that I'm attempting. I feel awkward going through the motions, just as I would feel disrespectful participating in a church service that I didn't subscribe to. It's a chicken 'n egg thing - do I participate because it feels right, or do I gain that comfort level through participation? And thanks for your input too Lucretia. I think that's it - I want to believe but can't. And I really don't know why I want to so badly, other than a general feeling of 'something's missing' or 'ain't there more to life' or what have you. I think there are constant reminders that skeptics = cynics, or that because I can't believe in (god/magic/alien worship/fill in the blank) it's because I'm deficient in something, something spiritual or personal - in other words, I'm an automaton. Walking computer. I think it's interesting that you've found a resonance with tarot. That's one area that I have no familiarity with yet. Perhaps I'll add that to the list of explorations ps - I realize these rambling were mostly focussed on the wiccan/natural faiths, but recent discussions in the religion thread have reminded me that I have the same dichotomy with traditional religions too, and everything in between. (I wrote that whole thing about a week ago, it's taken me a while to post it, and I've been reading avidly in the duration).

I was raised in a very objective, scientific household. Reason ruled the roost, and we control everything around us. I still am, to this day, a very strong skeptic of anything that is unprovable through the scientific method. Can't see it? Doesn't exist. Astrology, ESP, magick, reiki, and prayer are all outside of my mental comfort zone. However I have always been curious about religions and various occult practices, and find myself drawn to them in some way, despite that. I want to believe, but can't. Through much of my adult life, but much more strongly in the past year, I have found myself dissatisfied with my life in some way. I know that I crave some kind of spirituality, harmony, meaning in life, what have you. I feel that I want to connect with our natural world on a different level than just what we see on the surface. But, whenever I begin to actually explore anything in that direction, my inner skeptic starts squealing and scares me off. I love the ideas of reiki, tarot or herbal magick, but when I start reading about them, I feel silly. My skeptic won't let me accept that rhyming words and waving herbs around can accomplish anything, or that one herb can be connected to love and another to money, or that certain colors are affiliated with certain planets - because I can't find any logical scientific reasoning to explain it. To the same extent I have trouble believing in prayer, God, or the general idea that can be something other than molecules banging together in the universe. (Please, I mean no offense to those of you who do believe - this is not my whole view, I don't believe it is that simplistic or silly at all, but it's the skeptic voice in my head that I can't shake.) I know there are people who are able to reconcile science/objective reasoning with their faith. Some very prominent objective scientists are religious, and somehow are able to encompass both into their lives. But I'm having a very hard time with it. Has anyone out there gone through a similar struggle? How do you reconcile faith and reason? I know this may seem very obvious to many of you, but I'm stuck. I understand that, long ago, television and airplanes and cell phones would have been considered magick, because we just didn't understand the forces that now make them work. So I should be able to believe equally that there are forces, such as plant or human energies, that we simply haven't figured out yet, but are no less real for our lack of understanding. But, that damn voice again, it holds me back from full acceptance. I am a Virgo, and very much a control freak. I try to control completely how the world perceives me, and I live in constant fear of being wrong, or being weak. I'm one of those who says "I meant to do that!" while picking myself up from the ground after tripping over a rock. I think that where I'm trying to go will require me to relinquish that control. There's a reason that spiritual knowledge is often referred to as 'the mysteries', right? Leap of faith - letting go of what I know and understand. Maybe that's the hurdle I'm at. Just posting this is going way out on limb for me. Thanks for reading this far, anyone who has.

Shollin, I find this all very interesting. Several years ago my girlfriends mother died. I was there with her during the last few days (while she was in a coma) and then back again for the funeral. Her mother was a Unitarian (not sure if it was that or UU, or what the difference is) I recall being very impressed and surprised by the congregation. Everything from the members who visited the hospital at length, to having an art gallery in the church, to the 'greeter' who happened to be a transvestite, to the startling lack of the word God during the service. I was pretty confused as to what exactly made this a church, but given the stress of the situation, didn't give it too much more thought. I had pretty much forgotten about them until now. (FWIW, my background is irish catholic upbringing until about 5th grade, when my family moved to the west coast, away from the grandparents, and all church-going abruptly ceased. Very secular family from there on out, and the only times I've been in a religious building of any kind since was for weddings and funerals, most of which left me feeling very excluded and reaffirmed my desire not to have anything whatsoever to do with religion. However, at almost-but-not-quite 40 years of age, I have been noticing the gnawing of a slight spiritual crisis around my edges. I wonder if the UU'ers might be something to investigate. There's much more to the story, probably, but this probably isn't the place (I should resurrect my own blog, I suppose) but wanted to say that I'll be following this should you post any more about it, as I'm very curious about it, and thank you.

Candy! Sweet fruity candy. Witha bit of softness. No pepper on me, sadly - I think it could use a bit of edginess. On drydown some soft florals come out, but after about an hour it's all completely gone. Might have to try this in a scent locket when I feel like sweetness. It's a nice scent but the kind that has no staying power on me.

I you, Snarky, I really do. What lovely pictures of our region's seasonal offerings! Makin' me hungry. In the midst of our forest of fir trees, we have one lone strand of decidous trees (don't ask what kind, I'm an accountant, not a botanist!) that are currently blazing in New England-esque fall colors. Took me completely by surprise. Enjoy your retreat - that looks wonderful! (ahem... and thanks for the idea! )

7:30 and all is well. The rain has stopped, for now, but the forest still drips water. I discovered today that I really cannot handle Tisiphone's mojo. I like her scent, but every time I've worn it weird things have happened. It has far too much nervous energy for me, and makes me irritable. This is the first time I've really acknowledged that the inspiration for Excolo scents should, perhaps, be taken into account more seriously. I'm hoping the evening will be calmer.