smallvoice

I don't like having rare scents. I thought I did, but it feels like there's too much responsibility involved, especially when they're scents I don't -love-. I'm over-anxious about swapping those scents, because I'd be really sad if they got stolen or lost in the mail. I'd be over the moon for a bottle of, say, Storyville, but that's because I can't imagine I'd ever want to get rid of it. I held onto the Monster Bait scents for WAY too long, because none of them really worked for me, but I didn't want to regret getting rid of them. I swapped (or maybe sold?) Red Lantern and Smut way, way too quickly. I can't remember what I swapped them for- I think I may've gotten Lotus Moon out of Red Lantern, so that's a decent trade- I love Lotus Moon. Anyway, I digress. Dude. I am having anxiety attacks non-stop. I think it's sugar and holiday stress and, oh yeah, my dad's first wife is dying. And my sister in law is being a complete bitch to my brother, which just blows my mind. It blows my mind that he is in a relationship where his wife can just act like that and, in her mind, it's completely acceptable to do that. Yet, I really do love her and I think she loves my brother, and I know he loves her, so... it's frustrating. And I can't even think about what would happen to him if they did divorce, because she would fight DIRTY for custody of the kid, I think, and... yeah, my mind is just f'n racing right now. I don't want them to have a bad relationship. He deserves a really solid marriage. And then I feel guilty for judging from the outside, but I can't believe she would call him up like that to just... screech and call him every name in the book because her anxiety is bad. I get it. I thankfully don't know what it's like to be in her head, but I know a bit about anxiety, and she really needs help. She needs to take her f'n medication, she needs therapy for coping skills, and she needs to be accountable for how she behaves despite her condition. Those are hard things, but you learn to do them for the things in life that really matter... like your family. I don't know all the ins and outs of married life. I'm newly married and I've only lived with my husband for just under a year. So I know I'm not speaking from a point where I can say I really understand what it's like to be living with somebody in a long term relationship for 6+ years, but it still seems like appalling behaviour. The watchdog group still hasn't contacted me. Our line will be disconnected (rather than the service being interrupted- this means the number will be gone, etc.) on the 18th, and I think that will screw with our DSL connection. Can anyone tell me for sure if it will? I guess I could call Verizon to check on it. This is just giving me fits. I'm applying for a student loan so that we can dig ourselves out of this hole we're in at least a little bit. My husband is applying for financial aid and plans to start school in the fall, which is very good news. It gives him a goal to focus on, rather than just idly sitting by waiting for more paperwork about his application for disability. He's still doing that, but school is a more immediate thing that is in his control. My sister better really be moving back into town. I miss her, and it would be really great to get to know her kids. So, check it out! She's going to school for hair-styling, and we were talking recently, and I had commented that this summer I was going to chop all my hair off and give the length to Locks of Love, and I was thinking about dying it blue. My 40-year-old (and before people get offended, keep reading!) conservative, LDS sister was ALL FOR IT. She wants to do it. I love my sister. I would also love very much to look like her when I am 40. Actually, I would like very much to look like her 40-year-old self right now. I don't know that I've gushed about my sister enough here, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself, but it simply must be said, and my thoughts are running a mile a minute right now. (I just emailed the watchdog group. I really hope they get back to me.) Anyway, the awesome part about my sister is that she's always been beautiful, but she's never been snobbish about it. And I'm not being generous because I care about my sister, she is everything I would love to be, only I'd keep my hair. She is tall and thin and her bone structure is gorgeous- but she is the kindest person ever. She's strong and smart and really thoughtful and... okay, I miss talking to my sister. I am so very glad that I got to have siblings, thanks to my dad's first wife. I do love them, though we are quite different in age ranges. I think we'll all four be together at Christmas, if my sister in law isn't a complete bitch, or if my brother can get time off- which he should be able to. Okay, I think I've gone on long enough. I am just all over the place right now.

I'm sure you do a fanstastic job! I've heard you talk about your sisters, and it sounds like you have a really wonderful relationship. Sorry to make you anxious, though! ETA: You probably won't read this again, but just in case: Hee. I appreciate the comment about my blog title. I change it when the mood strikes me, or when the old one feels like it's no longer appropriate. This one was inspired by an episode of Scrubs, but it feels right, which sounds odd. But, yeah. Anyway! Thank you. I appreciate the quote about cravings, because it feels extremely true to me. So it's not too philosophical at all! My family isn't well put together, but I have great siblings. I guess nobody has a perfect family, though.

Thanks for pointing me in this direction, Fil. The guy called my cell phone today and told me that he wanted to know immediately if the phone line was disconnected, because they're not supposed to do anything to our line while an investigation is pending. Hopefully this will get sorted out soon! Meanwhile, we'll be able to stay online! I should go find the number, just in case. Eep. Anyway, so that's great news! And I know what I want to get for my mom, I just can't get it right now. It'll have to be late, sadly. Ah, well. And I think I need to find some more imps of MLST so I can get her a few in a roller bottle, because I think it would smell fantastic on her. Anyway! I'm feeling better now that somebody is looking into the situation. I am so freaking pissed at Trinsic, it's not even funny, so I hope they get taken to the woodshed. Or at least get a stern talking to, and we get our phone back. In other news, I watched part 1 and 2 of the Lost Room, and I'm bummed because I love the premise, and it's almost exactly how I wanted my NaNo to go- the things they needed to find were going to have odd properties, and there are all sorts of directions to take it. I may still use it and draw on the show- it's not like I'm going to be published or anything. (I'm going to flesh out my characters this year and then write out the novel next November. It'll be better!) Anxiety is high again, can ya tell? My mind is just racing. Okay, gotta go figure out what I'm doing. Take care, dearies. Thank you for your support.

Okay! Here's the deal, folks. I have no idea. I got an auto-reply from the watchdog group saying that they'd be gone until after the 20th, so nobody has gotten in touch with us, which I find really strange... Hopefully they can do something about this, but I'm pretty sure my dsl won't work without an active phone line in the house, so I may be gone for a bit. If that is the case, please remember: Happy holidays, whatever you celebrate! I'm thinking of you and will be going through massive bpal.org withdrawls. I love you guys!

I don't know if my line is gone yet or not, but I'm still online for the time being. I'm not confident I will be later, but just thought I'd pop in while I still can. I have no idea what to get my mother for Christmas. We got a gift card to Sears from the wedding that we're using for it, though. Soooo. I'm also going to nab her some books and a few other things. My mom loves unwrapping gifts, and she loves having gifts that are for her. Childhood trauma and all. Plus, who doesn't love presents? Heh.

Oh! I forgot to mention this in my post. I think somebody else said it too, so I second or third this one. A gorgeous, soft sunshine feel.

The Lion is the scent that is most evocative of sunshine and warmth to me. It is, as I've told others (Ms. Betty, I think), like wearing my own magnificant mantle of glorious sunshine. Or something incredibly superlative like that. So let me add my voice to the chorus of recommendations there! The Mouse's Long and Sad Tale made me think a lot of summertime and light-heartedness. It has a very delightful and childlike tone to it. Brisingamen is another one that is warm and like sunshine, to me, as is Bastet, to a lesser degree. Amber tends to be a very sunshiny note. Good luck!

At first it's this very complex blend on me that is evocative and strangely beautiful, and then my skin sorts it all out. There is a note that is in every BPAL blend I've tried with "snow" in the name- pine and something extra- that does not work for me, and that note is what all of those scents become. Somehow, Djinn got his hands on some of this snow and it is burning merrily away. I don't know. There's also something sort of herbal or fruity there, and it's just not good. Actually, it now smells like a men's body wash, which makes sense. I bet my husband would smell fantastic in this. Hmm. Off to plot.

Chemistry is so freaky! I would not have thought of Dorian as a comparison to MLST in a million years. This doesn't smell like Dorian on me at all, obviously. Then again, I don't think I would have made a connection to baby products, but it does remind me of them on my skin. Oddly, in a very comforting way. I've gotten ahead of myself, though. I didn't want to try this one because sandalwood is a Very Bad Note for me, but I've heard so much good that I recently swapped for it... and promptly put it in my imp box. Today it came out- and such a surprise! I can actually smell the sandalwood and it's not bad. It has that creamy goodness- I think it's taking it from the vanilla. I do love amber, and sweet pea is so delicate... it's a very girly, delicate scent. It is like summer and dresses and giggling. I don't think I compare scents to colours the same way other people do, so don't get freaked out over this if you're not a "white scent" sort of person usually. It's not striking me as a pink scent, though- more like a white lacy scent. I really like this. I think I'd like to have a bottle someday. EDIT: January, 2008: I do have a bottle, and it's six months old, and let me tell you- aging is a wonderful thing. It turns into this incredibly sweet incense-y smell that I adore. Fantastic! Someone recently compared it to Death Cap (Christine Daae, I think?) and I was thinking that earlier today when I pulled my bottle out. Lovely!

Amber and fruits? I'm SO there. Except... all I can smell is the sandalwood. It's just not very pretty on me, I'm afraid. It smells like dusty, slightly sweet amber. It isn't rancid or anything, it's just not my favourite blend. I think I expected this to be juicier than it is.

I did something right with psychology- I got a 3.8!! Math is, of course a 3.4 (curses! I was hoping to make it to a 3.5, but it just didn't happen.) and the fitness center grade was a 4.0. So my quarterly GPA is a 3.83 and my cumulative is 3.42. I'm just sort of thrilled over psych right now. Hopefully my classes for next quarter will have similar results. In other news, I'm now a super member on the forums!

Could somebody who's tried Fruit Moon and Treat 1 tell me if they're at all similar?

My husband is making me steak and salad for dinner! And maybe I can convince him that we should rent some movies- we need to go find a copy of Saw for his dad, apparently. Yes, that does freak me out a little. Heh. He needs to wake up, though. But, dude! A 3.8 in psych means that I scored at least 162/200 points on the final. I know that's just an 81 or so, but it's a comprehensive final, it's not just from the midterm on- once school starts up again, I'm going to have to check it out. I was so afraid that if I did anything less than a 3.8, I'd have to take it again just to get into the radiology tech program, because it's going to be pretty competitive. Now I just have to really buckle down and study where it counts... pretty much everywhere. Heh. It'll be so nice if I can get into this program, though... I'll be going to school in town, rather than on the campus almost half an hour away, and I will be on my way to getting a real job. Oh, and dude, I am so sure you could do better than a .5 in math (especially with the instructor I had). But thank you for the compliment anyway! Whee! It will be a good day.

I don't think I've tried writing poetry in over a decade, and it's been way longer since I tried haiku. I have seen a lot of people expressing things through haiku on the forums and thought I'd try my hand at it. Eh, we'll see. It's 5/7/5, right? Disability Is such a pain in the ass and in the wallet The famous Snake Oil simply does not work for me such disappointment O, Katharina You, of the fruity white musk always comforting You lovely readers subjected to my meager attempt to create Right... That was fun. I think I shall have to continue! Some other day. My grades are available technically today. I hope I didn't completely blow psych. I am really excited about my new classes, but I shall be extra busy. More math! Plus loads of reading to do for my Lord of the Rings class. I'm most nervous about that one, to be honest.

Darkness was the first to come to mind, and then later I thought of Death of the Gravedigger! Updating with a post about my grades, because

I was surprised to find that, on first application, I really like this scent. It is fairly simple, but I love the lotus in it! And, joy, it has the bubble gum note that I just love! (No sarcasm, seriously.) It's more of a fruity note than the old fashioned pink sort, but it balances the roses very well. I wish I could describe it better, but it really is quite lovely. I'll update again if it changes on my skin for the worse!

How is it that I have not yet reviewed this scent? Euphrosyne is the blend that convinced me that I really AM a floral person. Or, at the very least, that I can be. It smells amazing and not heavy and the vanilla lends a sweetness without being too sweet, and how strange is it that it has rose and gardenia AND jasmine in it, yet I still love it??! It's really a masterpiece, that's for sure.

I'm glad to know there are less swapliftings than there used to be, but I'm wondering if the ones that do happen now are on a larger scale- I know MT stiffed a lot of people, and I know at least one other person was left hanging by DM. I'm just very grateful for the swap feedback area; it was an excellent addition and it really does make swaplifting a more public offense. With regards to my own swapping, I'm considering a policy of having the swapper send me their end first... but that just seems wrong. It feels wrong. If I don't trust them, why should they trust me, y'know? Then again, I think a third swaplifting would be extremely hurtful to me. As much as I hate losing the CT and not having the bottle and decants from Mistress Tera or Duck Mountain- or the money- I still feel like I've come out on top, which is a wierd way of saying it, but I can't think of a better expression. It's just that the people here are so very generous, that all the kindness and the frimps and socks and notes of encouragement more than balance out the missing bottles. I feel sad and cheated by those people, but I don't feel cheated at all by karma. Does that make any sense at all? I love the perfumes and the labbies and it's all well and good, but without the community here, I think I would have lost interest, which sounds insulting to the lab, but I don't mean it like that. I've just never been a perfume person, so I don't know that I would have been so drawn in without this network of amazing people. This place has become a sanctuary for me, and I am so grateful for that. So, in the end, I have just one thing to say: :joy:

That rocks! Hee. I'd have that as my avatar if I could. I'm filing a complaint with a state government agency about the phone troubles we've been having. I'm hopeful we can get it resolved that way- our line is frozen, though- Verizon verified that we can't get service through them until we clear things up with the assholes at Trinsic. /update hijack!

Thank you so much! I'm feeling quite leery of swapping at all, though. There've been a few swap offers that I've just stopped myself from making today. FOR GLITTER! But I digress.

I think I realized why this recent swaplifting has me so more upset than the first one did. I think it's because I lost a unique bottle in this swap, whereas I'd just paid Mistress Tera for the bottle and decants the first time it happened. But this time... My Chaos Theory is just GONE. I can't swap for it again. There isn't anymore of it. It was one of a kind, and it was mine, and... yeah. It's not anymore. And I don't have anything to show for it. I'm thinking of sending them both Christmas cards (or holiday cards, I guess) and asking politely for a refund of what I gave them in it, but then I just get too angry and don't even want to deal with it. I think I might sell my bottles from here on out. Hoping for the best is just wearing on me. Of course, I won't. I'm too addicted to swapping. Here's the thing, though- I can't even say that I'll just limit it to reliable swappers, because both of these people were reliable prior to swapping with me. WTF? Please, please, stop choosing the time that I'm swapping with you to wig out and leave everyone hanging. I think I included frimps in with the CT.

That would be a really nice feature- to be able to call up a list of people who have low ratings, and also if we could call up people who have been reported for swaplifting, who maybe did not get rated for it. Duck Mountain was supposed to send me Beaver Moon, which is one of the few things I was willing to trade that bottle for. I've reported her and left negative feedback and I encourage anyone else in the same situation to do the same. I just feel awful, y'know? As an aside: SCHOOL IS OUT!!! Congrats on surviving!

Because the lab does updates so often, the search engine is a bit behind, so I decided to search the forum for mentions of opoponax in the reviews section, and here are blends that came up as a result that sound like things you might like: Horreur Sympathique, the Music of Erich Zahn, Satan and Death With Sin Intervening, Schwarzer Mond (g'luck finding it, though!), Geek, Doc Buzzard (see note on Schwarzer Mond), King of Spades (A lot of hard to find scents keep popping up!), and Noir. And, of course, Venom. Since opoponax is a sweet myrrh (which I only just now found out), I thought I'd recommend some blends with myrrh that sound sweet. (Am I stretching this too much?) Blood, Velvet (which I expect to be absolutely nothing like Poison, but sounds like something you'd really dig), Bastet, Thanatos, Viola, Athens and Sri Lanka.

Hades is the only catalog blend I can find with opoponax listed as a note, so you may look into trying that one. I would also recommend Blood Countess, as others have already suggested. Others you might like (some I've tried and some I have not): Dee, Libertine, Florence (this seems like a very good one, and I have tried and liked it, too!), Eclipse, Lolita, Hollywood Babylon, Mme. Moriarty, Blood Kiss, Nephilim, Alecto, Highwayman, and Jezebel. Hope that helps! This is based on the notes listed for Poison here. (You have to scroll down to P rather than using the links to the left.)

Yeah, poor me. Hah. I am actually okay. My husband and I were grumpy at one another tonight and so I was in a bad mood- it's strange, because we rarely have arguments; we're pretty good at straight-up communication, I think, but every now and then we just sort of misfire and get on one another's nerves, and that's what happened tonight. BUT I'm trying to let it go. I made six loaves of bread today, and studied in between. SIX, people! I gave one to my parents. Does anybody know how many cups are in a gallon, approximately? I need to figure out how many loaves of bread I get out of a gallon of milk. So, when I was brand new, a few people sent me free imps just to get me hooked. Every now and then, when the spirit moves me and I have extras, I offer to send some out. I did that recently with someone I'd been corresponding with and feeling pretty friendly with. So I sent them to her, and it's like she fell off the face of the planet. She quit coming to the forums a few weeks after it should have arrived, and I sent her a couple of messages telling her it was on the way, and then asking if it had gotten there safely, and I heard nothing from her. This bugs me. It's not like I wanted her to shout it from the rooftops or anything; I know plenty of other people do this, but just some acknowledgement via PM or SOMETHING would have been nice. Arg. My brain is all over the place. And I can't remember where in the brain Wernicke's area is. Finals are scary!!!