Antaria

I have my own room at work - well almost. About 4 hours per week we are 2 in the room. Me and - let's call him Tom. And we really are not best friends. It's not that we hate each other, we are just too different. He is as non diplomatic as one can be. I think I can be diplomatic if I want to. At work I usually want to Well it started with calenders that we can order now. They should be for work, of course. He told me to get one for home. I'm too - well half and half - I have him always with me and therefore there are work-things in at as well as private things. Anyway, he thinks I'm too correct. Tells me that he does not believe that I never overlay my break. In fact - I don't. I have my mobile ringing when it's time to go back to work. If I stay too long away anyway, I take this time from my overtime. It's just the way I am. Yes, I surf while I should be working but it would be wrong to tell him so, he would use it against me if there would be the opportunity. I'm just so tired of this ... every now and then he starts with it and in the end he says "Well, doesn't matter, I don't care." - "Funny, you talk a lot about it, doesn't seem as if you wouldn't care." - "No I don't. I don't have to. Your partner has to." - ehm sorry, why are we talking about my partner now?? This was about work! After that he usually start to call me a bitch (hope the use of the word is the same as Zicke in German). I think I'm not. Well okay, sometimes I am, but I really try not to be. He surly is. I started to be faster then him and call him a bitch right away at this point of our conversation. It's really that he wants to hear from me that I screw our employer - because he is doing so and wants sanction for that. The point is: I think he is terrible. The way he economies with his money, the way he works and so on - but I don't say anything to him about that. I never start such discussions as the one we had now. I just accept that he is different and try not to mix into his stuff or way of handling things. Why can't he do the same? The only explanation I have is that I really bully him in my silent way ... I know he hates that I have no problems with our boss because I am ... different. I tell him straight away what I think about something and if he asks me some awkward questions, I don't say "ehm er errr ... well ... er". I prefer the easy way, even if that means that I have to tell our boss something that he does not want to hear. I am terribly afraid in such situations (it's never nice to say "no I have not finished that" or "sorry, it will never work") but I try to play cool - and I guess that's why my boss and I come along ... he knows somehow to trust me. Tom tries not to say something negative to our boss - but most of the time our boss gets it and finds out. Well we are different. But where is the problem??

Something important, I'm afraid! On Sunday I wanted to feed my ants. So I opened the glass box - here it is called arena - and put some honey and water in it while my partner was on the phone. Of course I was listening to what he was saying ... and forgot to close the arena again. Monday after work I realized that the lit wasn't there. I can't even tell if any ants are gone. The queen and approx. 11 workers are still there. Perhaps none of them is gone - I have the feeling that they already decided that it is time for hibernation (they hibernate even at normal temperatures, but of course you should bring them to a colder place - it's only nice because they show you when it is time) and so all the ant might be still in the nest. Lets hope so.

I waited pretty long before I tried Snake Oil - it just seems that scents that are loved by most in the forum don't work for me. In February I got my imp of brand new Snake Oil. I hoped for lots of vanilla. In fact it was like a light version of Van Van to me. So nothing bad - I love Van Van, but on the other hand: Why use a light Van Van when I can have the real one? So I decided to let it age a bit and try again. Yesterday I did so. It has certainly changed! I skip the wet state because I always think that it does not last long enough to buy a bottle of BPAL because of this state. Anyway, dried it is like Blood Amber. Which is my favorite scent, so I'd say: Snake Oil is good. I will even buy a bottle. But it will be more a backup for my Blood Amber

Yesterday I spent a lot of time with my pigs. I cleaned their cage and usually they are in an enclosure I built in their room or our living room and after that I bring them back to their cage. Yesterday I had a little bit more time (sweety was just taking a nap) so I cleaned the cage and after that I sat myself in the enclosure. Maus came directly to my fingers - she still thinks that they are eatable. But I was able to use my fingers to lure her onto my lab Even Pebbles - the shyest of the 4 - came closer, after a while she found out that it is nice to sit next to my leg because its warm there. Wittgenstein enjoyed it when I caressed him under the chin - he can make such a looooong neck. Willow was very greedy - she was choking 3 times on her carrot. A terrible noise. 3 of the 4 decided that my toes are eatable - I disagreed. It was really nice sitting there with them. In the end Maus was a bit nerved because I had to comb her - she's a US-teddy and has scalls - she made it clear that the comb is not her friend and that she is pretty quick. Wittgenstein, Willow and Maus gained weight, only Pebbles lost about 18gr. But I think 18gr is not that much so I'm not worried.

Okay, a new category! Today I tried Snake Oil again. I got it in February, I think and I applied it once. Conclusion: Boring. A not so perfect Van Van. I decided to let it age because a lot of you say that it's great aged. New Conclusion: Not as great as Blood Amber, but nice. Quite and not too striking, but nice. A bit like candy ... sweet but not too sweet. I think I will buy a big bottle of it someday. Will have to buy a bit BPAL anyway ... I think twice a year I am allowed to do so. Perhaps I wait for the Jule-scents ...

Okay, I am angry now ... the managed to restore a part of my page! With SCC-file (edit: ooooops! CSS, of course!) and all! But they wrote that they are working for a new page that will appear in the end of September. Anyway ... I hope they don't use my css! I know that I won't be able to tell them that they are not allowed to do so, but I'd like to! Anyway, they could have make an own design for this temporal page! And if it was only white, so what?? But to use my design without asking me is not okay - at least I think so! They are *put in some terrible words in here*!

My 4 guinea pigs make me happy every day. I stand up in the morning, go into the bathroom and after that in their room - before I even open the door they are already calling out for me - or better: For food. When I open the door they start to sit up and beg - against the cage-fence (I'll be so happy when we finish our biiiiig guinea cage with glass), pushing each other away, squeaking so loud that I wonder how my partner can sleep. Even our smallest, now 7 1/2 weeks old, starts to do it and shows her sweet little belly. I call it "The Belly-Parade" Then I take the bag with the hay and this sound makes them go crazy. They start dashing through the cage, sometimes clashing to each other, bouncing like silly (in German it's called poppcorning) and squeaking even louder. It is so wonderful to watch. And when it start to trickle the hay down on them they jump more and more ... you really could think they don't get any hay for years - in fact they get it 3 times a day, sometimes more often when they eat it fast. In the end there is a big mountain of hay in the cage and - it's moving! Because Maus - the little one - crawl ito the hay and starts going here and there while eating it ... after 5 minutes there is no mountain left, it's all bulldozed down by the 4 pigs. I always loved my pets but I never thought that guinea pigs would be that great

I always loved my bed - sometimes I start to giggle when I go to bed because I'm just so happy about my bed. Then I think "Everybody should have such a bed". A week ago I decided that it was time for a bed-change. Since my Sweetheart and I moved together we had a self-made bed because he had his mattress and I had mine, his was to hard for me (but we both could fit in it if we have to) and mine was too small for us both and too soft for him. So each of us kept the own mattress and we built a base where they both fit. So we had a really huge bed - but it was not what we wanted. We have been dreaming about a waterbed since we knew each other and last Friday we finally bought one. And now I even love my bed more than before! It is wonderful even if the fine-tuning is not perfect yet - I'm still thinking that the wateramount is not perfect but I don't know if I need more or less water. We can change the slow-down (or how it might be called in English) ourselfes when we want and I guess I want it with less slow-down. It is so nice to lie down in this wonderful bed, nothing aches and it is warm ... the only thing I don't like is the venyl-scent but it will go away, I think. And you can counteract it by applying BPAL before goinig to sleep. Unfortunately I forget that very often and then I am too tired to go and get some - I should place an imp beside the bed ... good idea. Most of the time at work I think about my bed ... and how wonderful it would be to go to slepp right now. Well, it is nice if you are happy about your bed every day - but it makes it very hard to leave it in the morning.

Thank you, naeelah! From those I only know Bliss - a nice scent - again for those who know Finnish food: Like Masa Liisa fresh from the oven. But not at all like Royal ... I guess it's hard to find a scent like this one - and really isn't a very chocolatty scent. But I always wanted to try Gluttony, so I'll try that one too.

I'm still thhinking about what fish to put in our little aquarium ... it is only 54l big so there is not a lot of choice. I'd love to have Guppys - but someone who is living together with me thinks that they are tacky. The tank is already a few years old an there is only one fish left in it ... a Characiformes ... don't find the proper English name for it. And as nice they have been - they are colourless. Now I want something bright ... like Guppys or a Betta. I think I have to reconsider how is in charge for the tabk. Till now it was my partners job because it was his tank. Well, hie care may be the reason why there is only one fish left. I mean, the other were several years old, but I geuess that's not why they are dead by now. So perhaps I should care for it - then all the pet would be in my hands. The guinea pigs, the ants and the fishes ... well ... yes, I guess that would be best. If I only had time, I would start cleaning up the tank today ...

So I was in the choir yesterday and it was okay. I behaved as if everything would be fine and I guess that's what bothered one Lady, lets call her Tad. She was once the "leader" of our choir. I never liked her, she wants to be in the spot light all the time. We are approx. 100 singers and she was the conductor. She always made such a show herself as if she didn't want the audience to listen to us but to look at her. Anyway, she was sitting next to me, one empty chair between us because she is in a different pitch of voice than I am. After our warmup someone must have told her that I erased the old homepage - I heared "What?? And now we have none? So close to our big concert?" - and than she went one row back and stayed there for the rest of the rehersal ... guess it was a sign for her disapproval. I have to say: I enjoyed it. And their fault - should have waited till the concert is over and kick me out then And nothing more happened ... I hope it stays that way - if they announce that somebody new is in charge for the homepage by now they should not mention the reason for the change - if they do and it is not the truth I'll have to stand up and say how it really was and I don't want to do that. I'm terribly afraid of speaking to so many people. But I'll do it if I have to! But I am proud that I went there and that I smiled and behaved as if it would not bother me how they treated me. Guess that makes people like Tad really angry ...

Try it, it's wonderful! I live in Germany and I buy a lot of chocolate in Finnland and bringt it along ... try Pigall, Fazer sininen ja punainen, Famy, Pätkis, Ahaa! ... oh there is soooo much! The moment you open the bar you should be in a cloud of just the scent I'm searching for. Guess it's a childhood thing for me, thats why I'm so attracted to it.

After my holidays I had an unsettling time. For one we bought a new guinea pig becauce one of the others died before my holidays. It was the first guinea pig of mine that died and it was a shock ... well ... anyway, the new one - Maus (=mice) - is wonderful but had mite. Had to go to the vet with her. After that I got ill - so my partner. Not so nice, especially if you have a baby pig that you want to cuddle and your not allowed because it could be infected. And because it is a summer-flu it takes really long to go away. My partner had problems at work rightaway after the holidays, so he es trying to stay calm there and search a new job. Right now it seems that he has got the possibility to get a really nice job! At my department at work we had to say goodbye to a really nice secretary and after 2 weeks of a vacant office we got a new one. She seems nice, is - I guess 55 years old - and I think I like her - but she will mean lots of works for me ... I mean, yesterday she came in to sak me how to write an email ... öhm ... you know, where to click, what to do. And then the final decision: Enough with our selfmade bed - it was good but now it is time that we buy what we always wanted: A waterbed. So since Sunday we are sleeping in a waterbed. The wateramount is not quite perfect, but I guess thats only a question of time. And now the choir-thing - I am somehow tired. Well and of course I want to go home only to sleep in the new bed. It is sooooo wonderful!

I copy again from the "How are you feeling"-thread ... I really should stop that. I was in charge for the homepage of my choir ... I waited for 2 years for new information to put on the page, asked several times different people to give me something because I was not in charge for the content, they told me they would provide me with everything. Well, then I had holidays and received a mail with content. But of course I would not update the page while I am abroad and in holydays! I came back and I took approx. a week when I got ill. Almost 2 weeks went by till I was better again. In this time I got 4 other mails with content. And on Monday I got a call "do you still want to do that, we need the update now" - so I told them I would do it till Wed. I managed to finish the update yesterday morning - and in the afternoon they called and told me that they are not willing to let me do it anymore (have to say that I never wanted to do it ... they begged me and in the end I was okay with it). Well ... because the main work was the design, I felt really ... silly. They let me do the work an the nice copy and paste stuff would be okay for them - of course if they update the page, they would put their name under the page. So I erased the page to "protect" my design. That may be childish, but I think it is the right way to do it ... Only point: It keeps bugging me. I hate stuff like this. And today is choir again and I guess I'll have a hard time ... and I am sensitive, I'm afraid they say something and I start to cry in front of all these people ... I'd love to stay at home but I guess that would make it worst, wouldn't it?

Hello there! This is a tricky one and there won't be a lot of people who can answer it. I'm seaching for a scent that is similar to the scent of the red "Royal" chocolate that is sold in Finnland. To explain it for those who don't know this chocolate: It has a very nice and not really chocolatty scent. It's more warm, sweet, velvety and there is a hint of coconut I think. But almost no real chocolate. The taste of this chocolate is wonderful, by the way. Velvety! Hard to describe. So, show yourself you Finnish people and help me out! (There must be a non-BPAL-scent that is very much Royal - some woman in the building I work must use it but I don't know which one ... I only think so because of the scent of the restroom - as strange as it may sound: Sometimes it has this wonderful scent ... like today. Already thought of putting a sign there but I don't dare to). CU Tina

Well ... somehow I'm stuck. I had my job interview and it was bad - so I assumed the "Sorry, you don't get the job" letter to arrive within 3 days. I did not. Now is has been 7 working days since the interviews stopped and still nothing. It kills my motivation. If I knew that I won't get the job, I'd try to please my boss here to make sure I get a new contract. If I knew that I leave soon, I'd try to finish as much tasks as possible, because otherwise I think I'd have to come after my regular working time to help them out. But since it could be that I get the other job (WHY am I still thinking that this is a possibility??) I just hang around, pretend to be working, waiting for my boss to come and to show him "here, that's what I've accomplished so far" - he will think that I did well - I told him before how long it would take to do what he asked for (and it is true, it takes a lot of time ... well but not THAT much). It is silly - both cases would imply that I should work harder ... so I just could start with that. But NO. I don't. So, there is no forwards and no backwards right now ... I just stand here, jump back and forth to some favorite sites in the net and I wait. Hope the letter comes soon. Or that I decide to call them.

I thought I'd hate this one because I can't stand lavender! I ordered it to try it on my boy ... I guess I need a 5ml of this and if he does not like it - I do! Okay it is lavender - but somehow not like the others which give me a headache and makes me want to puke ... no it is so nice! It has a sweet base to it, nothing candylike, just a bit creamy. I'm lucky I don't detect any citrus! Can't smell any lilac either. It surly is masculine ... well or unisex - I'm not sure about that. I tend to like masculine scents on me (by the way, guys do also like them ... everytime I wear one I get compliments by them) and somehow that makes me think that they can't be very masculine. Anyway: Big surprise that I love this one!!

After trying some of my chosen imps from my last order which turned out to be ... well ... not that nice on me, I decided to try a frimp. Whoever packs the frimps into the orders seems to know me better then I do. Czernobog is ... well "funny" on me. It starts pure Coke! Simply Coke. Then it starts to turn into a really nice and wearable Coke-scent with a nice warmth and something so grown up! Really nice, somehow I can see me wearing Czernobog while wearing a beautiful gown ... what I want to say: While this is Coke-based on me it is not childish at all. It is simply wonderful. Can't pick up any musks, dark myrrh, vetiver or mullein - besides I still don't have the nose to be able to discover and recognize them.

This is going to be an easy and short review: Smells like Jelly Belly buttered Popcorn tastes. Not for me, sorry.

If you like Davidoff Cool Water you should try Danube. It is not the same scent but it reminds me so much of it ... watery, fresh, simply nice

Well ... I thought the amber would make this one of my new favorite scents. But no ... even after drydown this is like curry on me. Curry + some other spices - stuff I really love for cooking, but not on my skin. Sorry Lion ... we are not going to be friends, but I promise I will think of you when cooking my next curry!

Our signature oil. A dark, languid scent. Promotes hedonistic tendencies and extreme self-love. You won’t stop kissing mirrors for a month. I so wanted this to work ... Cherry + Almond are some of my favorite scents. Kissing the mirror sounds good - well ... wet this is beautiful! Cherry, Almond + some cake, really nice. But after about 1 minute it starts to turn a bit sharp, salty and soapy. And it gets worst. After 45 minutes it was some cheap almondsoap, really disgusting and it gave me a headache. I had to wash it of A shame that the labs signature oil does not work on me at all.

Wet Eat me is pure caramel with a hint of apple to me - but this takes only a few seconds. After that it turns into sweet cake with a fruitcream. For me there are cherrys + x? Very foody scent. After some time it goes more and more on the cherry side. Not a fresh one, more a ... a little bit candylike sweet one with a hint of cake under it. Very nice! Somehow this is how I imagined Jailbait to be. I'm afraid this goes to my bottle-wishlist, too.

I feel so confused right now ... don't know what I want and what would be best for me. I can simply hope that God will guide me and that the way he chosed is the "best" (meaning please easy and comfortable) one. I myself don't want to make this choice - even if I don't know all the facts. Doesn't make it easier. And I hope so much that my BPAL order arrives today. Could need a cheerup ... CnS was on the second of march ... could work ...

I copy this psot from the "how are you feeling right now" thread to my blog. Mar 6 2007, 09:21 AM