myoubi

My hoarded, standards, best-beloved and kept-in-stock products LUSH Snowcake soap *** Lip Lite lip balm Butterball bath bomb Villainess Scintillating smooch! Scintillating whipped! Tval Frosty Pop skin smoothie (custom blend) Frosty Pop bath treat

astringent. Boozy scents are not my friend

On me this is all nutmeggy-cinnamony-sugar at first. It's got quite good throw. I can smell something graham-crackery and cheesecakey in tone, but the PUMPKIN! isn't jumping out and mauling me like it usually does. Very strange. I don't need any more, but I'll keep my quarter-of-an-imp. The waft is much nicer than what I can smell when I huff my wrist. The waft is warm and sweetly spicy and grahamy; the at-wrist bit smells like plastic-sweet cinnamon hearts over pumpkin pie. Go figure.

very, very sharp apple. Some caramel in there somewhere, and caramel never behaves on my skin. I have to wash this off. Dammit! ((shakes fist)) oh well, one less thing I have to single-mindedly go after and collect...

This vanilla is not soft at all! It's not the cookie-dough-ish vanilla I'm used to smelling (I have a friend who /smothers/ herself in vanilla oil, and while it's not too bad from seven feet away, up close it's smothering). THis vanilla is actually rather sharp -- sharper than sniffing vanilla extract. Smoky it certainly is, and almost flowery as well, there is something distinctly orchid-y about it. It does have throw. It was taped shut and in a little baggie when I received it, and as soon as I opened the baggie the scent hit me. I'm actually not a huge vanilla fan -- so I can't say I'm surprised that this doesn't love me. Oh well, I'm grateful I got a chance to try it

Feh. Dusty dry-sweet patchouli-dragon'sblood-musk. Everyone seems wild about this one -- not so much. I could care less if it works, frankly -- I can't bear the scent. And MAN is it strong. I put a dab in my cleavage and one on the back of my neck and it's overpowering everything. And normally I have difficulty smelling my perfume when it's applied to my pulse points, cleavage, and hairline. ((goes to wash it off))

A soft, sweet herbally scent, not a biting green herbal. I quite like it. It's light and soft and subtle. ...and works ::

Couldn't sleep until 2AM last night, worrying and feeling crappy. Woke up at 6:30 instead of 5:30 because of it. Woke up feeling horrible. Worst weekend, aside from the weekend my Uncle Jim died, in my memory. I'm just clinging to the hope that somehow this will all be over soon.

Squeeee! Thanks to the ass-saving generosity of my dear beloved father whom I love and adore, I have a Thunder Moon order! Thunder Moon Cancer (I've been looking forward to this for SO. LONG.) Selkie (yaaaay! my therianthropic is /awesome/!) Other outstanding order: Blue Moon 2007 Brisingamen Oh, hearts and flowers, hearts and flowers I'm sooo excited for the Cancer blend. I was expecting it to be a rose/chamomile scent because those are the plants most often associated with Cancer, and I wouldn't have been at all unhappy with that -- but wild lettuce? that sounds yummy, gentle, cool and vaguely sweet. I promised myself that no matter what (unless it was, like, black musk and ambergris and red wine or something) I'd order my birth-month moon and therianthropic. I'm hopeful for Selkie, although I'm shaky on Thunder Moon -- it sounds lovely but a little too masculine/aquatic for me. I'll try it, and persevere, and persevere, and God Dammit my force of will shall prevail. squeeeee!

I called the Superintendent of Pfoho, and /finally/ got ahold of him He said he's going to mail out all my packages to me today! YAAAAAAY!!! I really hope he does! Oh that's so good, i really want my goodsmellies.

Generally I refrain from commenting on BPAL-related issues because the community is kind of touchy, and if you get a bad name from your opinions that'll likely be reflectected in who will buy, sell, or swap with you. To two community members, I've done the same thing myself; and I've gotten caught up in the fandom's crazy-sensitivity before, and it took a reality check for me to get my head out of my butt. Against my better judgment I weighed in on the issue of pricing/who to sell to and how. I've gotten really good deals on some bottles I wanted to try, and I've made money when I re-sold those bottles after careful thought and found that they totally failed on me, no matter how much I wanted to like them. I have Snow White 2004 in mind here. I've also lost a lot of money in my obsession, by eating shipping costs, reselling bottles at significantly lower prices than I bought for, and in some cases selling underpriced bottles because I wanted to. On balance, I'm still hugely in the red as far as my obsession goes. The concept of 'profit' is utterly alien. For me, the cost is worth it for the delight of sniffing so many scents -- but that doesn't change the fact that it's money I'll never recoup. I don't think I (or anyone else) should be criticised for trying to decrease our losses as much as we can. There are people who try to squeeze every last dime that they can out of their BPAL -- I'm not one of them, nor I believe are most people who sell at higher than they bought. There are other ways to give back to the community, like offering special discounts for n00bs, or selling them things that you'd otherwise only swap away. I've done the latter, and I've seen and applauded people doing the former. You're also not obliged to sell to just whoever comes your way -- if someone pings you and says "I really really really want this bottle" you can take them at their word and offer it to them, even for a discount if it's what you think is fair. On the subject of ebay, stop bellyaching about letting the market decide what to pay for things. If you don't want to pay $100 for a bottle of perfume, then don't! It's just perfume! If it matters that much more to someone else, then let them have it and keep quiet. Either shell out the money and lose the exact same amount of options they do*, or realise that if you lose the auction, you'll live. In my own swapping, I tend to favour first people I've dealt with before. There are a couple of people (Chrisann comes to mind) who are just a joy to deal with, and a few more that I've dealt with so many times that I give them preference because of how good they've always been to me. After that, I tend to deal with people who have a good reputation in the community and n00bs. If I find someone who /really/ wants a scent, I like to give it to them if I reasonably can -- I sold an imp of Beaver Moon that I wanted to save for swaps, because the gal was a newbie and I know how hard it is to break into the market and what you usually have to shell out to do so. But the BPAL community /isn't/ a free market -- it's a heavily controlled market, both by price caps in most selling venues and the politics of the fandom. That's good and bad. The good part is, it limits pure profiteering, and ensures that by and large the emphasis is on enjoying scented art instead of narrowly reducing each purchase to a risk/benefit analysis. The bad part is, the politics of opinion are fierce and a little paranoid, and if you're a rare collector building strong relationships is much more important than it should be. The field of people who hold real rares is small, and the people willing to swap those rares is even smaller. It's a microcosm of the world, impacted more intensely. I'm out of rare-collecting, mostly; I sold off most of my rares a while ago, and those that I've kept are for the purposes of briefly testing, then dangling out as bait for the few scents I collect heavily. --- *I tend to think of money in terms of how many options you give up when you lose it or give it away. Money is worth different things to different people, some people have more or less, and some people have to work much harder than others to scrape together much less. But it's much easier to compare how much freedom or what kind of options a sum of money gives you, since those are much closer between different groups of people.

NOTE: My bottle, which has a very oilstained label, reads "Limited [i'm assuming it's Limited because nothing else makes sense] Oblation Blend". Maybe my label is weird? It's not the 2003 version, because it's in a newer cobalt bottle, not one of the squat ones. The first time I tried this one, I hated it. I had a bottle and an imp, and they both were just NOT my friends. A blast of peppermint, and then coconut city, and I had to wash them off They both got swapped away. But then I decided to try it again (as a result of switching medications, a lot of scents I used to hate now love my skin chemistry) and lo, it was yummy! for the first five minutes I get an initial haze of peppermint, but it's nowhere near as overpowering as it was before; then the coconut/butter rum combination comes into play, and the buttery alcohol cuts the sweet coconut so it's not sickening. I usually /hate/ coconut, but here it's nice. It dries down to a buttery, delicately foody scent with hints of cocoa and vanilla. I don't smell like a bakery, but I do smell yummy. My skin eats this one in about six hours. I've got about an imp and a half, and I won't need more, but I'm so glad to have tried it again!

I am very pleased with myself. I managed to find a tea set that I like and that didn't toally break the bank. Between Mom (for my birthday present) and I, I have a teapot, two teacups, three mugs (which don't quite match but whatever), a cream and sugar set, and a tea caddy. Yaaay materialism!

Am I the only one that this happens to? Sometimes when I wake up, I can't move. Or I can move imperfectly. I'll be awake and conscious inside my head, screaming at my body to forget getting up, just move my fingers properly, and they just won't. Sometimes I can't move at all, oftentimes I can kind of flop around -- like I'll be able to shift my arm a little bit, but forget fine motor control, and moving anything major is out of the question. Oftentimes I have some degree of control over my head -- I can turn my neck, but occasionally I have imperfect control over parts of my face, so I either can't open my eyes properly or it's a struggle to close my mouth. It doesn't happen often, but although it's been happening since I was about nine it still creeps me out every time. It lasts anywhere from ten or fifteen seconds to, on one memorable occasion, about a minute and a half. Usually what happens is I have to focus on the part of the body I can move, and make it move as much as I can, which will often increase slightly with time -- and then all of a sudden I'll manage to jerk it particularly far, and my control will come flooding back again all at once. I wonder what this is?

Wheeee! I have Christmas presents for seven people on my list already! Next year's roommates' gifts are already wrapped, as are the gifts for my four older-than-me Toronto friends. I have a good idea what I'm getting my mother and my Godmother, and I have a present for Janet, my Spiritual Advisor (in heavy quotation marks). I also know what I'm getting one of my grandmothers, and I have half of the gift for my beloved girlfriend in the hand and the other half planned out. The following are the gifts I still need to organise: DONE: Allison(vanilla), Kirsten(jasmine), Care(orange), Tory(pink sugar), Janet(gardenia), Haiwen(honeysuckle), Lisa(mint and black tea), Eleanor(vanilla sugar), Mom(sugar pear and earrings), Nanny Greene(apricot freesia), my Godmother(cocoa sandalwood), Amy (she reads this journal so she doesn't get to know yet!) TO FIND: Hannah -- this has to be special Jenny -- ditto Daddy -- will probably be a CD Nanny Rowe -- looking for something in Rome Caitlin -- something small but appropriate and shiny. must be shiny. Isaac W -- almost certainly a book Ian -- not sure if I'm getting him anything. Only if I see something. TO FIND FOR MY MOTHER TO GIVE TO PEOPLE: Brenda, Joan, Mary -- I have gifts in mind for these three, from Tval! Gary -- he's a challenge to buy for, and I'm better at gifts than mother. Jane and Stewart -- if Mom won't find them anything nice I will take it upon myself to correct her rudeness. Luffluffluff buying presents for people I have 100 Euros for my 10 days in Rome (not nearly enough, but Mom will probably be willing to lend me another 25 or so). I'm looking for a gift for Nanny, with a budget of 35; something small for Caitlin, with a budget of 12; something for Jenny, with a tentative budget of 13 (if I find something she'll love, though, I won't pay any attention to that); and something for Amy, but I've no idea what it will be so I suppose we'll have to see. Ah well.

Tval. Go now, to the nicey smelly body stuff and drool. Based out of St. John's Newfoundland (which is where I am right now) they also sell through www.thesoapboxco.com -- another place I drop huge wads of cash. I am trying to rein in my body product obsession and restrict myself to a few favourites, and so far it's working, but the Tval tub treats are really too templting to resist -- and at $3 apiece, are much less expensive than Lush's monstrosities. They also don't smell as strongly, which may be a negative for some but in my view is a plus as I do not like things clashing with my perfume (this is why I don't buy Lush hair products anymore -- apart from being stupidly expensive, they also smell to the high heavens. /Days/ after washing my hair and I still can't get rid of the smell of American Cream.) I just had a bath with a Frosty Pop treat, and my skin is soooo soooooft, and with just the barest you-really-have-to-look-for-it sniff of vanilla pine. Yumm. They also make a line of products scented like Green Tea Ice Cream. Luff at first delicately-scented sniff. My Staples Villainess Scintillating Smooch Villainess Scintillating Soap Tval Green Tea Ice Cream Skin Smoothie Tval Green Tea Ice Cream Soap for summer -- Heaven and Earth Essentials Voodoo Punani Whipped Body Souffle for summer -- Heaven and Earth Essentials Voodoo Punani Bath Bombs Almost every girl on my Xmas list is getting /some/thing from Tval this year. You have been warned.

The acting: so bad! So universally awful! The dialogue: so melodramatic! - but predictably so, I wasn't expecting anything less, and I'm even relishing its blue-cheese-like deliciousness. But honestly guys, stop poncing about speaking in low, mysterious, dramatic voices and start talking like normal people, mmkay? I mean, there's a point. Verdict on the film: Whoever did the music for that film fails at life on an epic scale. Music should enhance mood, not distract from the film itself. Brad Pitt, as attractive a man as I'm willing to admit he is, should not have long hair -- it is really not a good look for him. Equally, long hair looks truly heinous on Antonio Banderas. I appreciate androgyny much, much more than the next girl, but putting square-jawed Masculine Men in poncy outfits and then trying to make them look vaguely girly just doesn't work. Brad Pitt's scenes with the interviewer were Not Good. His voice-over narrations were likewise poorly done, and although Tom Cruise really had his moments as crazy egotistical Lestat (typecasting?) he too often descended into the Low Mysterious Voice that forces me to restrain a giggle. Also, all of the men, particularly Armand, seemed to have this problem with their necks wherein they had to look at the world up through their eyebrows. It was most disconcerting. And yet... and yet. Claudia was the high point of the film for me, and I love the relationship between her and Louis -- in the book she's a lot more scary and abhorrent, which I sort of missed, but as a character she makes me happy and Kirsten Dunst wasn't half-bad. (the Hellsing animated series, which is heavily derivative, offers a version of Claudia who's less bloodthirsty and creeptacular. sanitised, in other words.) And while I certainly wouldn't want to own the film, I can see watching it again -- and enjoying it for all its cheesy deliciousness. Anne Rice, like McDonald's french fries, has a special place in my heart.

I watched Death and Rebirth and The End of Evangelion today, because apparently I like pain. I keep coming back to Eva at different points in my life, watching it again and hoping to find some kind of answer -- because of how it resonates with me, and always has. I haven't found the answer yet. Or maybe it's there but too uncomfortable for me to think about. Either way, it's an exercise in frustration -- both because the series resonates so closely even now, and because it doesn't pretend to solve its characters' problems, and by extension my own. Whether or not it's because I saw the series years ago and it made such an impact that the ideas were buried in my brain, many of the things Shinji thought and said are things that I did as well. Do, sometimes. Sometimes I think that giving up individuality isn't too high a price to pay for an end of loneliness and fear. Sometimes I just want it all to stop -- the constant insecurity and needing. There is no way out of that. You can think yourself out of anything, if you try hard enough. The reason that despite some experimentation with drugs I seem incapable of getting high, is because I think myself down from it -- even though I've felt the physical effects of every drug I've tried, I've never experienced the concurrent effects on the mind, and people around me notice no change in my attitude or behaviour (except for wobbly walking). This is something that distresses me, because I could seriously use some chemically-enforced release, but also that I'm perversely proud of: see my iron self-control, look what I can do! My iron self-control has gotten me through a lot. It is also part of the reason that I am unhappy. I'm a creature of extremes: to find some resolution I'll need to either disregard that control entirely, or embrace it completely. The latter option, as isolating as it is, looks so tempting. Because I /know/ how to do that. I don't know how to be normal or let go. These aren't new thoughts -- they're realisations i've come to before. That makes me wary of them, because it's like a groove I have worn in my brain, but it also makes them easier to believe. To sink into I-don't-know-how-so-I'll-give-up is to really take myself one step further towards turning into Shinji.

At first the tobacco amps on me, and I think immediately of Perversion. Then I get a hint of the spicy clove wafting underneath, and /then/ a red cherry pops out, almost a maraschino cherry scent. Good throw, I can smell the backs of my hands from a foot away, and that was only one swipe of the imp. There's something musky underneath it all. It's dark and reminds me a lot of Perversion, only this is fruitier and juicier and, surprisingly, less heavy -- perhaps because the tobacco is prominent on me in both blends. After about five minutes something cherryish comes out even more, until it's a musky swirl of cherry and tobacco.... that's not as gross as it sounds. At this stage the clove also comes out to play a bit more, and I get a hint of clove cigarettes, but it's a sweeter wetter smell. Yeah, this is a sexy blend. And yes, it's gorgeous. I can understand why people go wild for this, even if I haven't been quite bitten meself. The catch? It burns my skin. The /only/ blend to do that, and it had to be F54. Oh well. I like Perversion for my tobacco hit anyway. ETA: that's what that sweetness must be, the cognac. I don't smell any booze, though... weird.

Tonight I was walking home from driving lesson and looked up at the sky... it was a perfect velvety sky, soft like the fuzz on a peach, completely starless and blue. Shining -- not glowing, as it often does -- was the bright white fingernail sliver of the moon, and beside it I'm not sure what, a planet or satellite or unusually bright star, one single pinpoint of light in the sky.

Unseelie lives up to its name -- wispy, ethereal, dark. It smells something like a vintage perfume, it's older in style and definately a sophisticated scent. While I can't sort out notes at all, such that I won't even try, I will say that it's a beautiful, beckoning scent with moderate throw. I don't understand the Snow White comparison at all -- there's none of the clear whiteness or creamy coconut quality of Snow White to Unseelie, but perhaps that's just skin chemistry doing its thing. There's something in here that reminds me a little of Brisingamen, although Brisingamen is a much brighter clearer scent. They both go a little powdery on me after a bit -- fortunately I'm a fan of powder. Verdict: a lovely scent, and if it were GC I'd have a bottle in an instant; and if someone offered up an imp, I'd probably swap generously for it. It reminds me a lot of Dark Delicacies -- not in actual scent, but in tone. And since I love DD and have a lot of it, I'm not dying for more Unseelie.

Smells like Shub! The soap is very creamy in texture and doesn't overlather like some soaps do. It also just plain looks pretty. I find the shub smell lingers a bit, so I make sure to dry my hands very thoroughly afterwards, and even then a bit stays on my fingers. The scent is rather strong and very true to blend. Nice.

today RO and Hymn to Pan did zilch. Oh well, that's life, you win some you lose some, etc. It just means I'll start decanting from my bottles when I see ISO's for these guys. I've swapped or sold most of the rare stuff I was wanting to cull from my collection. I feel better now that I have less stuff I don't use, but it's weird having the feeling of /not/ being able to swap for virtually anything I want anymore. I amassed a collection of rares and semi-rares such that when I wanted stuff stood a fairly good chance of finding someone to swap with; now I don't have that, and even though I'm happy to get stuff out of my way, it's a bit odd. My bottle collection is also too big, but every time I try to cull it further I just can't choose. I love the scents I have so much and there aren't any that I want to get rid of; and I have a lot of new ones coming to me, as well -- 29 new scents, that I've never even sniffed before. I'm optimistic about at least half of them, but my tried-to-kept ratio tells me that I probably won't even consider keeping more than four or five. The rest will get swapped or sold. I love BPAL fandom, it's so much fun -- and it's a product so worthy of notice as well, which makes me very happy -- but my initial wallet-busting enthusiasm has waned to the more sedate desire of wanting to have merely what I will use and love. I really like the idea of a signature scent, but unfortunately my changeable personality won't permit any such thing -- the closest I have is La Fee Verte, which I actually don't use that often in an effort to never run out. As I've written many times before, I want bottles of Brisingamen, Boomslang, Blue Moon and Tarot: The Hermit -- and then I think I'll make an effort to cut back my collection even further. -- phooey... I have to go to bed early tonight (as in before 3, like last night/this morning) to be up and presentable for lunch with Richard at Lakes tomorrow. Not that I'm doing much at the moment any way... I'm indulging in the McDonald's French Fries of literature at the moment [Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter novels -- so bad, and yet so greasily delicious]. I have started rereading Pamela, oh God, and I want to get through the two collections of essays on British colonialism in the 18th and 19th century (respectively). I also want to start losing weight again, since I'm currently dissatisfied with the state of my figure, and I could definately stand to do some sit-ups -- my dancer abs have all but dissolved since I stopped Ballroom. Still thinking about my SG application. While it would be awesome to do some sets, I'm not sure I'm quite the sort of girl they're looking for. Perhaps because I'm shy, somewhat retiring, not given to excess or presenting myself in a manner that causes people to make assumptions about me -- I just happen to be a budding nudist who's vain enough and mischievious enough to want to get her picture taken naked. I think, given a couple of shots of tequila to blank out my worry function, doing a set would be a lot of fun, and it'd put me in the same (broad, broad, broad) ballpark as some ladies I admire (and think are ridiculously attractive and I'd do them in a second). But the fact is that I still have self-confidence issues, lingering but inconsistent body-image issues, and a somewhat raised-eyebrow approach to my unfortunately high sex drive. We'll think on this.

I am meeting Care for dinner today and I'm excited because I'm getting dressed up. On with my pink foofy dress which makes me look like I am five! On with my gorgeous six-inch-high PVC platform boots! And the best part is, my entire outfit cost me less than $40. Which is pretty awesome considering the boots alone are $85 regular price. it is almost 2 in the afternoon and I am listening to "Ashes to Ashes" (David Bowie) and contemplating whether or not glitter eyeshadow would be too much, or so much too much it's just right. And I smell like Monster Bait: Closet. I am a happy kitty. --- I am also trying out a combination of Road Opener and Hymn to Pan -- Road Opener on my palms, with a very small 'opening ritual' and a plea to bring new opportunities and clear my path, and Hymn to Pan on the back of the neck. Hymn to Pan doesn't get pulled out often -- the first time I wore this particular combination, it was /very/ effective, although the last two times I wore it it has been pale... and usually I use Hymn to Pan more for its element of 'rock star debauch' than specifically its sporadic fits of creativity and inspiration. I've never had much luck getting inspired, but I have had fun connecting to the part of me that I'm often too shy and self-conscious to allow out. Pan being as unpredictable as He is, however, I never quite know what I'm in for. It'll be interesting either way!

just wanted you to know that I feel the same way. When I got into my dream school I was outwardly excited but inwardly nervous, and that feeling grew and ultimately impaired my ability to learn and work... I finally decided to take a semester off to figure my stuff out. Maybe you just need a genuine chance to step back, instead of fleeting "breaks" which serve as welcome distractions instead of reflection time. Also, the Lush massage bars kind of freak me out. I applied one twice, and my room and my sheets stank of it for literally weeks.