Soupy Twist

A gorgeous slightly aquatic lily of the valley — the same note from the Wild Honeysuckle. This might be a bottle.

When I was, I dunno, 10 maybe, I had a little cylinder of solid perfume — basically Chapstick, but scent — which was lily of the valley. This is exactly that scent. It's very pretty, a little green, a little waxy, and I like it a lot, but absolutely lily of the valley and not honeysuckle.

turns out I don't. A nice raspberry ice cream in the bottle and on application, but the artificial lip gloss roars in and blots out everything else. Too much for me. my kiddo pronounced it "Gummy bears! YUM!" and insisted on adding it to her collection. So I suppose we have one up and one down vote.

wow, this is a disappointment. Bitter coffee grounds and rum dregs. There's a little spice, but it's sickly-sweet. I must have gotten the bottom of the pot and the bottle.

Vanilla ice cream with a little snow in the bottle. I had forgotten that the Lab's vanilla ice cream note has gone funky on me the last few times I tried it, so I was seized with apprehension, but forth Eorlingas and all that. Goes on as snow and ozone. The vanilla ice cream note flickers weirdly for a few seconds but then vanishes, to my relief. As it dries, it becomes less "snow" and more of a menthol/ozone blend. Very much like a Halls menthol cough drop without the hard edges. By the time it dries completely it's settled as a menthol-tinged white fir. I just got a bottle of White Fir, so I don't think I'll need this. Not as bad as I feared; not as good as I hoped.

A perfect dusty fir. Ranges from sweet to dry, never quite sour. Not much throw but it's really lovely. It doesn't feel super cool now but I bet this will be spectacular in December.

I am your absolute scent opposite, so I'mma check my "WOW did I not like this" list for your loves: Cathode (Ambergris, Spanish Moss, oakmoss and three electric mints.) Rumpelstilzchen (Firewood and ash with an oddly otherworldly blend of patchouli, cardamom, nutmeg, black pepper, tonka, vetiver, and myrrh.) Black Rider (Black leather, opoponax, tobacco, and black amber) Black Tower (white sandalwood, ambergris, wet ozone, galbanum and leather with ebony, teak, burnt grasses, English ivy and a hint of red wine.) Pottaskefill (Salt licorice, birch tar, black pepper, and leather.) Dracul (Black musk, tobacco, fir, balsam of peru, cumin, bitter clove, crushed mint, and orange blossom) Hatta (Copaiba balsam, battered brown leather, and Ceylon cinnamon.) The Avenue (Dark chocolate and clove bud with smoked amber, bourbon vanilla tar, and black and pink peppers.)

I love all these! Chaos would be grape soda (to parallel Hardison's orange), sweat, ozone, and cheap aftershave. For Eliot I'm thinking leather, hay, whiskey, steel, citrus, basil, and tomato leaf. A cowboy in a chef's hat. "You hold a knife like this, it cuts through an onion. You hold a knife like this, it cuts through, like... eight Yakuza in four seconds."

try reading the reviews of Strangler Fig and look for something with similar notes, or see if anyone says "if you like this, you'll love X."

Ginger in the bottle. Goes on as a somewhat promising white tea and ginger, but then a sour floral comes in — the iris, maybe? — and I'm done. Disappointing.

Increases the chance of successfully picking pockets by 25%. All woods. No beeswax. yuck.

Goes on as a floral cream, which is interesting for a minute or so, but the cream fades, the floral remains, and then it turns to rose and I'm done.

Slightly spicy Play-Doh. This is the scent of the playroom in the Wild West section of the amusement park, where you'd send your kids while you and your friends dress up in "Old West" costumes to take a silly sepia photo with pretend money, bottles of "hooch," and fake cigars.

Oh, I like this. Why does it have to be DC?! this is a perfect rosemary and juniper blend. It's fantastic.

Thirding Dana O'Shee, and also Almond Blossom.

Sea of Glass (perfect hyacinth) White Light, although that's technically TAL (pretty white floral) Grief (perfect hyacinth) Titania (fruits and lily of the valley) Humanite (florals, neroli, vanilla, hyacinth) Katharina (apricot and neroli)

merciful freya, how I have not recommended Honeyed Apple from the 2016 Weenies?! It is the most beautiful perfumy honey I have ever smelled. Door dries down to that same honey as well on me.

A much purer, more beautiful single chocolate note than Bliss. You can practically smell the froth of the cocoa. Divine. If you like the Lab's chocolate note in El Dia de los Reyes, Candy Butcher, Gelt, and the Box of Chocolates from this year's Lupers, this is the pure stuff. Not much throw, but that might be my skin chemistry lately, which has just been devouring everything.

In the bottle: Hard to describe. Booze with woody overtones? Like tequila brewed in oak? Goes on as a lemony tonic water — what you'd mix with the booze, I guess. This quickly turns nasty as it dries, becoming lemon floor cleaner and then just wood. Bleah. Where did the honey go?

You know how when you make strawberry jam or strawberry pie, and you cut up the fruit and add sugar before you pour it into the pot or crust to cook? That. ::swoon::

Herbs in the bottle. Goes on as herbs and honey, which briefly turns sickly sweet like a fake cough drop. This eventually calms back down and the herbs vanish, to leave a faint single-note perfumy honey, like the one from Honeyed Apple, which lasts for hours. Basically a cup of chamomile tea with honey and a store-brand cough drop.

Lemon Lysol floor cleaner. Scrubber.

Tea and powdered sugar in the bottle, but goes on as lemon floor cleaner.

You know how when you're looking for detergent and you just want something which cleans your clothes without leaving heavy fake fragrance everywhere, so you get "unscented" or "free and clear" or "linen"? That's what this smells like. Aggressively inoffensive laundry detergent.

Juicy honeydew with an occasional dash of pine. Lovely and summery.