Failmingo

ALERT: I have been informed that the pre-orders for our MILK MOON and SPROUTING GRASS MOON tee shirts will end tomorrow. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/sprouting-grass-moon-tee/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/apparel/t-shirts/milk-moon-2020-tee/

Releasing our monthly Lunacy perfumes is still our favorite way to mark the passage of time! This month we have a Full Milk Moon swirling around somewhere over our heads — be sure to take a big sip if you see her tonight. Without further ado: 🥛 MILK MOON "A fertile scent, generous, life-affirming, and swelling with a sense of triumph, warmth, and abundance: sweet milk, golden honey, fig fruit, cedarwood, olive leaf, and dates." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/milk-moon-2020-perfume-oil/ ***Note that our MILK MOON and SPROUTING GRASS MOON tee shirts are both available for pre-order. Design by Dan Santat!*** https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/apparel/t-shirts/ ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS 🥉WHITE SANDALWOOD, SAGE & BOURBON VANILLA 🥉GARDENIA, TOBACCO LEAF & OAKMOSS 🥉COCONUT, SMOKED VANILLA & FIG 🥉DARJEELING TEA, COCOA DUST & INCENSE 🥉FRANKINCENSE, STAR ANISE & LABDANUM https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/menage-a-trois-a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/ And from Twilight Alchemy Lab: ⚗️ WHITE ROSE An oil of peace, harmony, and reconciliation – a ceasefire, an oil of amity, a blend that restores harmony and nullifies household discord. We’re all in this together – and in many cases, really REALLY together – and this oil was crafted to help make that stay-at-home-in-your-face togetherness as peaceful and sweet as possible "Three types of rose essential oil, rose petals from the TAL garden, borage, motherwort, passion flower, lavender, sumac berries, coriander, and magnolia blossoms." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/twilight-alchemy-lab/white-rose-perfume-oil/

It's time to ride! 🧹 The infamous HEXENNACHT (Witches' Night) of antiquity summons kindred spirits out of the shadows to take the biggest, juiciest bite out of springtime every year on April 30th. We've marked the occasion with a recurrence of our limited edition perfume blend. (Our video announcement below is convenient for sharing if you want to help us get the word out!) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/hexennacht-2020-perfume-oil/ "German fir and forest herbs, incense and bonfire smoke, broom straw, and the wet, glimmering scent of skin warmed by dance." But she didn't come alone! Accompanying this year's HEXENNACHT release is a small collection of nine brand new perfumes drawing from the same traditions, honoring the power of the oppressed to overthrow their oppressors through wit and guile: DIE ERSTE WALPURGISNACHT https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/die-erste-walpurgisnacht/ Remember, high-fliers: keep those broomsticks at least 6 feet apart! 🧹 🧹 🧹

I was a little afraid of this scent! Afraid because of what it embodies, and also afraid that I wouldn't like it, because I couldn't really imagine what it would smell like from the description. I was afraid of falling too hard for TOTALITY from a distance, and then discovering that it just wouldn't work between us in person. And then with all the Lunacies canceled, and not being allowed to come into the Lab to work, I didn't end up having a chance to try it, so TOTALITY ended up fading from my list of potential partners altogether. But then! Ted dropped off a whole box of all the partnership collaboration blends so we could photograph and review them during the lockdown. TOTALITY appeared on my actual doorstep, as if by magic! And then it was like I NEEDED to love it, which made me even more scared to smell it. But now I haven't smelled of anything else for at least five days. In the bottle: No joke about that abyss. Often there are crags and snarls and spikes that kind of break your fall a bit as you descend into one of these scents, but not here. The smoothness of the glide is part of the terror. Because, how deep does it go? The patchouli and frankincense don't claw at you or hold you back, they just grease the rails taking you down. Kind of at the last second, right when you think it might be going sweet, a scrud of smoke wafts up out of it... but no fire! It reminds me of the black hole effects in the film INTERSTELLAR. At first I thought I was detecting a leather note, like in SNAKE'S KISS (smelled side by side to confirm), or paper, like in bloodmilk's BOOKS, but I believe it's just the place where the pitch hits the fig and tangy tobacco. But if quizzed blind, I definitely would have guessed there was leather here! So overall, in the bottle, the scent's character lives in a kind of indefinable nether-region. I love the text references to fossils, because there is something distinctly protean and inhuman about this scent experience. It's undeniably sensual but not exactly mammalian or even terribly organic at first, if you know what I mean. I'm thinking of tar pits, maybe. Wet on the skin: The notes immediately seem to warm up upon contact with the skin. Here's where that amber starts to glow, and maybe there's something a bit mentholated from the pitch, and the tobacco becomes more identifiable, actually reminding me of fresh cigars. So yes, more glimmerings of organic life, but there's still something very "Before The Dawn of Civilization" about the whole thing. This is the phase where I began to get very addicted to this scent. It's just so mysterious and brooding, and lures you into those murky depths by teasing with half-obscured answers. I asked Galen what he thinks the dominant notes in this blend are, just from smelling it, and he said fig, amber, and tobacco. He can track the patchouli in it, but I really can't. It definitely reminds me a bit of GOMORRAH, an old love of mine, but TOTALITY is bolder, darker, smokier. It seems like the throw would be pretty robust. Hard to tell in quarantine! Dry: More of the heady fumes related to the pitch and tobacco, warmed by the amber. You can't really lean into the sweetness without getting pushed back by something else, it's mesmerizing. I look forward to this "glowing nimbus" when I'm first putting it on, it's a mysterious vapor lifts you out of that abyss... but never all the back way into the light. TOTALITY-dwellers are creatures of no world!

Since we're sheltering in place for a while longer, why not kick off another poetry contest? The theme for our new one is TOTALITY, which is the latest scent we created just for Haute Macabre: “The splendor and terror of Totality: an abyss of black patchouli, tabac, burgundy pitch, smoky frankincense, and black fig surrounded by a glowing nimbus of fossilized amber.” You've got until May 15th! Multiple submissions are allowed. Full details, including rules and regulations, can be found here: https://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/bpal-x-haute-macabre-totality-poetry-contest-rules-regulations/ In the meantime, you'll find the TOTALITY products freshly relisted in the Haute Macabre apothecary https://haute-macabre.myshopify.com/collections/apothecary

Releasing a batch of monthly Lunacy perfumes makes us feel almost... NORMAL again! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/april-2020/ Included therein is SPROUTING GRASS MOON, which should help bring some of the outdoors inside: "Patches of bright green grass bursting through the last snows of winter." Label/tee shirt design by Dan Santat! [Due to current circumstances, we are unable to print tees at this time. Please join the waitlist, and we’ll let you know as soon as we can go into production on the Sprouting Grass Moon tee. Thank you so much for understanding!] Also, invitations to the following Ménages à Trois: 🥉BLUEBERRIES, CREAM & CARDAMOM 🥉 LAVENDER, SEA SALT & RAIN 🥉 GRAPEFRUIT, YUZU & WHITE MUSK 🥉 COTTON CANDY, STRAWBERRIES & LIME ZEST 🥉 CARAMEL, SMOKED CHILIS & BLACK VANILLA And a special Twilight Alchemy Lab blend for gardeners, farmers, homesteaders, horticulturalists, and all people who shepherd and care for the Earth. We proudly present you with GAIA'S BLESSING! "Patchouli root, spikenard, burgundy pitch, barley, oakmoss, rice, purple sage, white sage, and clary sage, vervain, ivy, and myrrh."

The LOVEBIRDS Poetry Contest results are long overdue, but here they are at last! (Here's the link to a PDF containing all of these standout entries.) The grand prize winner, Crystalyn Kuhlmeyer ("a year in the life of birds") will receive both Lovebirds perfume blends plus 3 Lupercalia products of her choice. Congratulations! The three runners-up, presented here in no particular order, each win a mated set of LOVEBIRDS perfumes! We trust you will give them a good home. Those winners are: Scarlett St. James - "A Lovebird's Lives" Jill Baguchinsky - "Wing in Wing" Euna Bonovich - "In Love & After" Because this was SO DIFFICULT, we have named a handful of Honorable Mentions. Surprise! Each of you will receive one bottle of the Lovebird perfume of your choice. Those names: Hanna Hertzler - "Theatrebirds" Jacqueline Wright - "The Pink and the Green" Michelle Cast - "Lovebirds" Cathy Podd - "Rapture" We could have picked an entirely different set of entries to spotlight, without any detectable decline in quality. Such is the bind you have put us in! Especially since we are not qualified to “judge” your work in any significant way. Know that you have taken us on the wildest of emotional rides with your poems, and please PLEASE submit again when we launch our next poetry contest... which will be soon!

One more thing! All those Lunacy cancellations meant that no one got to preview the SPRING 2020 scents, so we've posted a vidya with some nosey first impressions. Part 2 coming on Monday! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/dum-spiro-spero-spring-2020/

Hi everyone! We are LAAAATE on announcing the winners for this contest. It's because we'd asked for input from a couple of poets, and suddenly everyone's workflow got bit silly due to the global pandemic, including ours. We're going to announce the poetry contest winners on MONDAY. But before we do, I wanted to spice up your weekend with access to the full catalog of entries. The PDF can be viewed and/or downloaded here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/mwbib66ljkoi7zl/LOVEBIRDS Poetry.pdf?dl=0 As far as I can tell, 100% of the entries are in this document. If we have skipped any, please let me know and I'll chase them down! We have tried to reproduce the text exactly as it was submitted, but slight shifts in formatting may have occurred in the transfer from email. I will always be grateful that I had these to read during the first early stages of the pandemic, when so much was uncertain. Something about wading so deeply into work revolving around the theme of love -- and inspired by these ridiculous, endearing perfumes -- really warmed my heart. If there are any problems with this PDF or the work contained therein, please contact me directly: tom@blackphoenixalchemylab.com Until Monday!

Hi everybody! While Beth and Brian and Ted are producing 'fumes and packing orders like crazy, Galen and I are working remotely and making sure to show our faces a bit... so that you can see human faces! We've kicked off a series of silly little videos in which we're just working through our BPAL collections and smellin' stuff. Two so far, both linked below! Hang in there, everyone. xoxoxo

Everything Must ̶G̶o̶ STAY! Due to the rippling of global infrastructure, the Lab will not be taking down our YULE and LUPERCALIA fragrance collections on the previously announced dates. They'll remain on our site for the foreseeable future, as long as we still have stock! 🎁 YULE 🎁 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/yule-2019/ 🌺 LUPERCALIA 2020 🌺 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2020/ 🌸 SHUNGAS 2020 🌸 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-shunga-2020/

Hello, fellow renunciates! A handful of announcements for ye. Firstly, the Lab is still very much operational, and capable of fulfilling orders. For now! Obviously, however, we have no control over what happens with those orders once they're in the hands of the post. So shipping MAY end up being way slower than usual? We can't really be sure yet. We're all learning together! Here's your reminder that if you currently have an order pending, you can combine it with a new order to save on shipping! Just email the info to answers@blackphoenixalchemylab.com and let us know. Now without further ado, here's a little collection of perfumes we'd intended to herald the arrival of spring... which has taken on an altogether new meaning, given the current state of things! Art can be slippery like that. Note that one of these blends is a fundraiser for the Los Angeles Food Bank, because we know these resources are among the hardest hit right now. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/dum-spiro-spero-spring-2020/ Thank you for all of the support and consideration during these dark days, we shall strive to entertain and comfort you in return!

We were planning on sharing some of these LOVEBIRDS poetry contest entries at our Lunacy event this weekend, but... well, you know. So, now you can head over to the Lab’s YouTube channel to hear my dorky self and actual poetry personage Tina Hyland read about twenty of the SEVENTY-ONE entries! That's right, we're your crazy friends who read poetry to you during a global pandemic. Enjoy!

You know what the world needs right now? SOAP! And we’ve got the good stuff, thanks to our collaboration with the uniquely talented Brooke Perry of https://www.bperrystudios.com/ Tomorrow at 9am Pacific we’ll release limited quantities of these four exquisite, handmade creations on our site. That’s 20 seconds of fragrant bliss every time you scrub the cooties away! (Which you should be doing o f t e n .) Here's where you can get 'em: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/bath/soaps/

Hello, sad frens! As you may have seen elsewhere, we've created a Spotify station with playlists to help people chillax while self-isolating. We're adding more throughout the weekend! Just passing this along in hopes that it will make you day less dreary: https://open.spotify.com/user/3cvl9y7x5kcentefrvshyduwd?si=fVX3-FKATi6aD91ykVAZkQ

It seems like only yesterday we were ducking and weaving calendar-related psychic attacks! But here we are again, and to show we're taking none of this personally, we've sugared things up in our traditional '13' perfume blend: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/13-perfume-oil-3/ "The sweetest of the sweet: 13 types of sugar including sugar cane, granulated sugar, demerara sugar, confectioners sugar, pearl sugar, spun sugar, brown sugar, rainbow sanding sugar, turbinado sugar, and muscovado sugar." Available for one accursed day only!

UPDATE: You will NOT be seeing us at the Oddities Flea Market in LA on April 4/5. Kudos to their team for doing the right thing and postponing the event until July 11/12. If you have questions about your tickets, head over to their Instagram for a video announcement (also embedded below) explaining how all this will work. We look forward to seeing you all face-to-face once again, just as soon as it’s safe! In the meantime, please look for opportunities to support all the artists and vendors who are missing out on important sources of income as these events close. We shared a post on FB where anyone may link to these folks' shops. Thanks, as ever, for your understanding!

Real talk, kids. As much as it pains us, the Lab will be suspending all public events until further notice. Yes, this includes this Saturday's BPAL 'Ides of March' Lunacy. We're truly sorry to leave you hanging! We do not wish to panic anyone; we know these are small events and the risk is not great. However, we're a small business as well as a family-run business, and we simply can't afford to take unnecessary risks that could threaten our family AND our business in one swoop. Stay tuned for further announcements. And please keep WASHING YOUR HANDS, and do everything possible to help stop the spread of this virus. Everyone must do their part!

Now that it's March, we can finally talk in earnest about our upcoming open-house event at the Lab! Join us for the BPAL 'Ides of March' Lunacy on Saturday, March 14th, from 5-9pm. FB link: https://www.facebook.com/events/182715506328554 Here's everything you can count on us for: 🗡️ LUPERCALIA galore! All of this season's perfume, hair gloss, atmosphere spray, and bath oil offerings 🗡️ This month's Lunacy blends 🗡️ Our latest version of 13, the perfume that wards off "Friday the 13th" misfortunes 🗡️ The very latest Twilight Alchemy Lab offerings: ritual oils, ceremonial tools, tarot decks, hand-selected instructional zines, and more! 🗡️ A table of fine oddments and curiosities assembled by eagle-eyed collectors Tom Blunt and Ted Burton 🗡️ The unveiling of some standouts from our LOVEBIRDS poetry contest And many further enticements!

Greetings Lupercalians and Lunatics! It's been a moment since we held a contest, so we're launching a POETRY CONTEST inspired by the stars of our LOVEBIRDS perfume duo. The full rules and regulations can be found over here, and we urge you to read them carefully before submitting! We know the BPAL universe is full of fellow tormented creative types, so we want everyone's work to stand the same chance of being seen and appreciated. There are no restrictions in terms of content, and no right answers in terms of tone or message. The full range of human (and avian) experience is at your disposal! The judging will be infernally difficult, but we'll do our best to keep an open mind and read everything with fresh eyes. The grand prize winner will receive both LOVEBIRDS perfumes, plus their pick of any three Lupercalia products! Three runner up prizes will also be awarded. We reserve the right to share anything submitted to us, but unlike the 7 Word Story contest, no products will be created from these, and poets retain full ownership of their work once the contest is over. Any questions? Send them, as well as your entries, to lovebirds@blackphoenixalchemylab.com

You were all so wonderfully patient! And very loving with your messages over the past few weeks. We are thrilled to present, FINALLY, split across two links: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2020/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-shunga-2020/ LUPERCALIA - Classic depictions of eros unchained! Perfume & Hair Gloss SHUNGA - Products inspired by Edo-era erotic art (NSFW). Perfume & Atmosphere Spray BOX OF CHOCOLATES - Lift the lid and breathe in! Perfumes, Hair Gloss, Bath Oil & Atmosphere Spray. CHERRY BOMB - A *brand new* collection redolent of forbidden fruit. Perfume & Hair Gloss. LOVEBIRDS - A pair of linked scents to be shared by friends and lovers.

Attention Sovereign seekers! Those who were foiled in their attempts to score this Sphere + Sundry collaboration will be thrilled to note that a limited quantity has been restocked. https://sphereandsundry.com/offerings/the-golden-sovereign THE GOLDEN SOVEREIGN "This is an oil of power, but specifically it is an oil of power accumulated and wielded benevolently. It amplifies charisma, heals while providing healing to those in your sphere, amplifies authority, and brings opportunities for you to use your personal power to commit acts of true generosity, kindness, and compassion. The Golden Sovereign helps you to accumulate a bounty of resources and reserves to sustain and enrich you, so you can comfortably share the bounty of your good fortune with others. This is your kingdom; govern it with kindness and love. Be royal – not only because of who you are, but because of what you do. Honeyed amber with 24k gold leaf, organic Atlas cedarwood (Cedrus atlantica) and organic Western red cedar (Thuja plicata) essential oils, two organic frankincense essential oils (Boswellia carteri and Boswelia serrata), organic bay laurel essential oil (Laurus nobilis), organic bergamot essential oil (Citrus bergamia), organic clove bud essential oil (Syzygium aromaticum), chips of Baltic amber, bee pollen, saffron (Crocus sativus), whole wild-harvested cedar berries (Juniperus monosperma), organic chamomile flowers (Matricaria recutita), organic cloves (Syzygium aromaticum), calamus root (Acorus calamu), sunflower oil, single-origin olive oil, Ethiopian frankincense tears (Boswellia papyrifera), Baltic amber chips, and rue (Ruta graveolens), Mexican marigold (Tagetes erecta), rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis), bay leaf (Laurus nobilis) and angelica root (Angelica archangelica) that have all been harvested from the TAL garden on the day and hour of Sol, plus some heliotrope harvested on the day and hour of Sol from Lilith’s best friend’s parents’ garden. Whew!" PLEASE NOTE: this oil is not vegan.

In less than 30 minutes, we’ll be flinging open our doors to weary travelers and olfactory thrill-seekers and would-be Valentines alike! For those of you who can’t visit in person, here’s a recap of the Lunacy-specific perfumes and more that just arrived on the site. ++ A LITTLE LUNACY RACCOON MOON Many years ago, Ted and I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It was incredibly disconcerting: the tread was heavy and even, and it sounded just like a full-grown man was walking on our roof. Ted grabbed our officially-licensed Shawn of the Dead cricket bat and I grabbed a flashlight, and we tried to figure out if someone was breaking into our house. We couldn’t find anything, so we went to check the attic. I’ll tell you… opening up your pitch black attic in the middle of a pitch black night armed with only a cricket bat and a Maglite is some serious horror movie shit. Few things test your mettle like realizing you’re absolutely /not/ the Final Girl in a slasher film because you’re creeping in an attic at midnight while investigating strange sounds. Anyway, the thuds and thumps kept happening, and eventually we figured out that raccoons were humping on our roof. Every year since, raccoons have consistently found the atmosphere on our roof conducive to romance. Now, I’ve been trying and trying to write something profound and poetic to describe this scent, but this really is a perfume about raccoons schtupping. For the bulk of the US, February is the harbinger of Raccoon Sexytime, and for the next month my whole family will get woken up by the thumps and squeals of frantically lusty raccoons using our roof as a No Tell Motel. Bring out the amorous trash panda in you: a winter’s backdrop of slush, snow-covered evergreens, juniper, and winter gardenia with sweet brown musk, rooty patchouli, spicy birch, hay absolute, osmanthus, and a pile of uprooted pansies. The accompanying Lunacy Tee (featuring illustration by Dan Santat) can be found here! ++ LUNAR NEW YEAR METAL RAT A new year’s blessing! Peony, China’s national flower, with bamboo for flexibility, plum blossom for perseverance, courage, and hope, tangerine for wealth, lychee for strong family relationships and peace in the home, orange for happiness, pine resin for constancy, golden kumquat and quince for prosperity, narcissus and King mandarin for good fortune, coconut for longevity, and candied melon for good health, with a splash of blazing red of dragon’s blood… to help you scare away the rampaging Nian. ++ MÉNAGE À TROIS Harmonious three-note perfume blends! 🥉 MAHOGANY, WOOD MOSS, AND SMOKE 🥉 LEATHER, BLACK TEA, AND CLOVE 🥉 RED PATCHOULI, NUTMEG, AND OUD 🥉 SPICED RUM, VETIVER, AND CINNAMON BARK ++ TWILIGHT ALCHEMY LAB ENCHANTMENT This is a warm, sweet, and sensual oil that radiates a soft, rose-tinted charismatic glow. It is a poem in a bottle, a tender ballad, a girdle of gentle glamour; this is an oil of epic romance, of nobility, compassion, and valor – of love that inspires story and song. Includes: rose absolute, organic rose petals, jasmine absolute, bourbon vanilla, powdered vanilla bean, lemon balm, honey absolute, benzoin resinoid, butter C02 extract, helichrysum, and strawberry natural fruit compound. Please note that this oil is not vegan. ++ SCENT LOCKETS AQUARIUS SCENT LOCKET The Zodiac lockets have returned! Exquisite, elegant, and exclusive to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. These are heavy lockets, thick with silver, and are perfect for use as a perfume oil conduit. Dab your favorite Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab concoction onto muslin, velvet or cotton, and place the swatch inside the locket. Your body will warm the silver, and the locket will exude pure, unadulterated scent. The Zodiac lockets are hand cast 925 sterling silver that has been partially gold washed using a method popularized in the 19th century, and each is adorned with at least one stone corresponding to the sign the locket represents. Each locket’s bale sports one of the BPAL logos: the alchemical symbol for brimstone. Portions of the face of the lockets have been deliberately tarnished. They measure approximately 1.25″ in diameter. These lockets are heavy. They are not fragile, filigreed pieces; they are durable, extremely weighty with silver, and are suitable for your most adventurous airship excursions. These lockets are exclusive to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, and were created by and for Black Phoenix. They cannot be found anywhere else in all of Heaven and Earth. Each piece is hand cast. Our lockets come with a 24″ nickel-plated iron chain. The Zodiac lockets were designed by Alicia Dabney of Elements and Artifacts.

Not a drill! All Haute Macabre pre-orders are back, and there's a new member in this family: TOTALITY, available both as a perfume and a hair gloss. The splendor and terror of Totality: an abyss of black patchouli, tabac, burgundy pitch, smoky frankincense, and black fig surrounded by a glowing nimbus of fossilized amber. You'll find everything here: https://haute-macabre.myshopify.com/

A reminder! Tomorrow's your last day to acquire our WOLF MOON perfume blend and tee shirt, as well as that last flight of Duets from December: 👯 WHITE GARDENIA AND VANILLA CREAM 👯 VIOLET AND PALE WOODS 👯 RASPBERRY AND RED BENZOIN 👯 JONQUIL AND POET'S NARCISSUS 👯 CHAMPA AND MYRRH The Twilight Alchemy Lab blend and MÉNAGE À TROIS will be sticking around for a while yet!