Failmingo

If you haven't revisited the actual short story "The Masque of the Red Death" in a while, compliment your Masque perfume sniffing experience with this video storybook the Lab has made from Tenebrous Kate's label artwork! Yours truly lent voice to the project, and persuaded a musician from a past collaboration to provide some haunting music to accompany the story. Our idea was to create a thing of beauty that people can enjoy long after our limited edition scent collection has vanished from the earth. Here's to keeping this timeless and terrifying story near the front of our collective culture's mind, right where it belongs!

This year we've truly outdone ourselves by exploring strange new depths in diablerie as well as perfumerie. In addition to many classic treats, we've got a spooky Chaos Theory, a timely Poe tale storyboarded in scent (art by Tenebrous Kate!) and a ribald new series of blends inspired by goats in classical art. Trading Post's update is still forthcoming! BEWARE... You may find more thrills here than e'er you bargained for:.. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/halloween-2018/

It's really happening -- here's a message from Ted: "THIS IS A PRESALE! Black Phoenix Trading Post is pleased to offer a presale for our .925 silver scent lockets. These lockets are exclusive to the Trading Post, and were created by and for Black Phoenix. They cannot be found anywhere else in all of Heaven and Earth. Here’s how the presale will work: we will start taking orders for these four stories lockets, and when sales reach the target of twenty lockets, we will place the order for them with my jeweler. Once we reach our goal of twenty presales for an individual locket, I estimate it will take about 40 days to receive the lockets before I can start shipping. After the goal is reached, I will contact everyone that purchased a presale locket with the estimated time of shipping. If, however, sales of a certain locket style do not reach 20 lockets within 60 days of the start of the presale, you will receive a full refund. These are heavy lockets, thick with silver, and are perfect for use as a perfume oil conduit. Dab your favorite Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab concoction onto muslin, velvet or cotton, and place the swatch inside the locket. Your body will warm the silver, and the locket will exude pure, unadulterated scent. Each locket is hand cast .925 sterling silver, and each locket’s bale sports the alchemical symbol for brimstone." Thanks, Teddy! That presale link is here: https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/jewelry/scent-lockets/presale/

One of the incredible things about a new game is that all of us get in on the ground floor. OVERLIGHT, the new release by Renegade Game Studios, is just the equalizer we’ve been waiting for – a “kaleidoscopic fantasy” that is somewhat less combat-based and more about the story. In creators’ words: “Characters will search for personal meaning among a fantastic, sometimes violent, and overwhelming world.” When we heard about the concept for OVERLIGHT, we had two thoughts. First: When can we play? And then immediately afterward: How can we get involved in players’ aesthetic experience? The latter question gave way to the following products, which are finally available on our sites after a strong debut at Gen Con alongside the game itself. You don’t have to count yourself among the Skyborn in order to enjoy them… but if you’ve ever wanted to dig into a fantasy world that runs counter to the traditional identities associated with RPGs, this could be the chance you’ve been waiting for. That’s something you can announce to the world with our SKYBORN perfume, or one of Black Phoenix Trading Post’s seven Shard nail polish colors. Full descriptions below! Perfume: SKYBORN “The Overlight, we called it. and it is by its colored rays that you will know your power, oh Skyborn child” An otherworldly, iridescent shine, casked on-site at the Manifold Elixarium: opalescent lavenderine, sheer white musk, wild bergamot, iris and white amber drifting on a pale cloud of Hearthwood Ash. Nail Polishes: NOVA A soft linear holographic top coat filled with holo microflake and iridescent shifting flake in two different color ways. It can be worn as a topper for any of the other Shards, or alone in 3-4 coats. ZENITH Red-based purple linear holographic filled with holo microflake and sparks of rose. QUILL Royal blue linear holographic filled with holo microflake and sparks of metallic turquoise. BANYAN Kelly green linear holographic filled with holo microflake and sparks of blue and green. HAARK Bright, lemon yellow linear holographic filled with holo microflake and a coppery sheen. VEILE Tiger orange linear holographic filled with holo microflake and a bright gold shimmer. PYRE A stop sign red linear holographic filled with holo microflake and a bit of copper shimmer.

The second flight of Lilith-inspired scents is finally here -- don't worry, she's still just as double-digits as she was a week ago. Here's Ted's scented tribute to his daughter's tenth year: https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/fatherhood-2018/

Dominus vobiscum! We're still all recovering from Too Much Dragon Con, but Tom and Galen still managed to pull together a quick Sunday Service video: Dominus vobiscum! We're still all recovering from Too Much Dragon Con, but Tom and Galen still managed to pull together a quick Sunday Service video.

In addition to our "Fair Maiden Side-Eye" and "Lifestyle Blogger Dragon" exclusives, the Dragon Con crowds have also wiped out our entire supply of the following BPAL products: 13 Hours Agnes Nutter The Crescent Moon Deadly Nightshade Honey Fighter The Forest of the Empress Fuck You, Said the Raven Kumari Kandam La Petite Mort Lightning Love Me Persephone The Red Robes Robe of Pomegranates Satyr Tavern of Hell Vixen Water of Notre Dame If these are on your shopping list, you'll have to rely on our website. We're so grateful to see so many familiar faces, and friends sent with fairy orders. We're here for you, thank you for showing up for us! We'll update this list as the weekend wears on.

Are you going to Atlanta's DRAGON CON or know someone who is? Here's a link to your BPAL event exclusive shopping list: 11 perfumes and 6 hair gloss blends inspired by silly dragons in Medieval art. Prepare yourself for the Dragonsplaining of a lifetime! Our booth is #1417-1419, on the first floor of AmericasMart Building 2. This will be important info to hand to any friends you send our way with a shopping list! (As an added bonus, they get to request stuff like “Ass Yell Back” from us, which is practically worth the price of admission.) Without further ado: ++ DRAGON CON 2018 - PERFUME ($26) ASS YELL BACK He protecc He attacc But most important, he yell at own ass and ass yell back - Jessica Mihaichuk I posted this image while working on tidying up the DragonCon scents, and a comment of Jessica’s made me rethink the whole scent concept. A highly specific manifestation of internal conflict: dragon’s blood resin, black pepper, aged black patchouli, agarwood, and hot geranium. BLARPING DRAGON RUDE. Sweet black patchouli and pink peppercorn right in yer face. DRAGONSPLAINING Well, actually…. Sweet aged patchouli interrupted by a cloud of cedar smoke. DRAGON BELCH A braaaaaap of oakmoss, labdanum, lightly-chewed villager, and smoke. DRAGON DOODLE A scribble of honey-drenched strawberry and white pear. DRAGON EATING BEES HAHA GET IT? Not bees, B’s. Might not be that funny to anyone else, but I haven’t had much sleep, so it’s hilarious to me. Dragon’s blood resin, wildflower honey, and beeswax. FAIR MAIDEN SIDE-EYE Crafted in response to Black Phoenix Trading Post’s Horking Dragon Hair Gloss: saucy gilded amber, ambergris accord, vanilla cream, and peach-tinted skin musk. LIFESTYLE BLOGGER DRAGON Positive vibes only: apricot-squeezed vanilla bean with a squirt of peach, coconut milk, and a floofing of marshmallow. SERF-EATING GRIN Supernaturally smug, draconically self-satisfied: red currant, persimmon, and oudh. STRAWBERRY DRAGON Candied strawberries and pink pepper. OBLIGATORY PEACH PERFUME OIL* Sheer peach musk with white peach pulp, tiare, white tea, and gossamer vanilla. *As required by the Georgia Board of Tourism ++ BPTP DRAGON CON HAIR GLOSS 2018 ($30) DELICATE DRAGON Gilded vanilla orchid, cherry blossom, crystalline pale petals, flecks gold leaf, and drops of daemonorops draco. DRAGON BOUFFANT Fiery cherry sugar whirled into guava cotton candy. HORKING DRAGON Crafted to be paired with Fair Maiden Side-Eye: a bushy plop of patchouli root, sticky molasses-clotted almond, tonka bean husk, tobacco absolute, and bourbon vanilla. KNOTTY DRAGON I had considered calling this “Naughty Dragon”, but y’all might be burnt out on my stupid jokes by now. Get yourself untangled with a soothing blend of lavender, hops flower, ambergris accord, white musk, black currant, and dried blueberry. STRAWBERRY DRAGON Candied strawberries and pink pepper. OBLIGATORY PEACH HAIR GLOSS* Peach marshmallows with a hint of pumpkin puree. *As required by the Georgia Board of Tourism Are you going to Atlanta's Dragon Con, or know someone who is? Here's a link to your BPAL event exclusive shopping list: 11 perfumes and 6 hair gloss blends inspired by silly dragons in Medieval art. Prepare yourself for the Dragonsplaining of a lifetime!

It must be Sunday, because here's this footage of two Lab rats sniffing themselves and talking about butterflies:

Our favorite horror shop (and Magnolia Park stalwart) Dark Delicacies is a constant source of inspiration, and we’re returning the favor by offering two new Lace variations exclusively via their store, for $26 apiece. Without further ado: AMBER & LACE The Golden Hour, casting a glorious light onto all it touches: sweet amber and golden oudh with vanilla cream, white cognac, saffron, and warm golden musk. SHADOW LACE Dusky plum oudh casts a pall over frayed strands of green cognac and tobacco leaf. This tangle of threads is stained with a smear of patchouli and opoponax and intertwined with vanilla cream lace. They’re available online now, and if you want to skin-test them in person, wander over to Dark Delicacies at 3512 W Magnolia Blvd, Burbank, CA 91505.

Hello all -- the rumors are true, we're scrapping the event this Saturday because our air-conditioner repair crew aren't going to be able to make it before then. We promise to come back strong in September! In the meantime, if you’d like to help us defray the cost of this repair, consider a bottle of FUCK THIS HEAT: “Slivers of ice to cool things down, lavender and hops flower to soothe the nerves.” Vermont and Atlanta Lunacy events are GAME ON, so do venture forth and support our sister cities.

Galen and Tom (that's me!) from the Lab's media team have posted a video review of last weekend's Midsummer Scream exclusives. You can watch here: We're hoping to do Sunday Service as a weekly video talking about stuff the Lab has going on/coming up -- we'll see how that fits in with our upcoming convention travel schedule!

Hello all! We launched The Emperor with Genius Loci on Friday, but in keeping with tradition, it's gotta have a proper video launch in its own right. Here he is over on YouTube -- and while you're there, please go ahead and subscribe to the channel. We're going to be posting some scent reviews and occasional fun content there in the future, and you won't wanna miss out. Thanks very much!

Fair warnng, there's no open-house event at the Lab in July -- we'll be too busy running around to both San Diego Comic Con and Midsummer Scream. Below you'll find a list of the event exclusive products we hope will serve as an enticement for visitors to come find us... or as a shopping list to hand any friends who plan to attend. See you on the midway! 'Censored' SDCC Scents Raise Money for CBLDFThe Comic Book Legal Defense Fund's opening night gala has become an annual San Diego Comic Con tradition. In addition to our usual caravan of Neil Gaiman-inspired perfumes -- proceeds from which go to the org! -- we'll be offering the following event exclusives as a special fundraiser: ++ CENSORED 2018 Nothing to see here – just sugar and spice and everything nice! $28 apiece, each presented in a 5ml amber apothecary bottle. P%$S Sugared lemon and sour lime. C#@T Honeyed lavender with Madagascar vanilla and plumeria. S^*T Cacao and vetiver. We’ll also be previewing our collaboration with Michael Varrati's queer horror podcast DEAD FOR FILTH. We'll keep a few bottles of this gory attraction -- "raw patchouli, opoponax, and a coppery dry blood exhale" -- stashed at our table for the enjoyment of anyone who shambles by. It will become available on our site the following week! MIDSUMMER SCREAM 2018 This weekend in Long Beach (July 28/29) is everything you could possibly want in a Halloween-in-July hoedown: costumes, haunted attractions, and plenty of that sweet convention center air-conditioning! Buy tickets with the code BPAL and you'll get a 25% discount. We normally save our pumpkin perfume releases for fall, but we're making an exception to treat this year's attendees. Here's the new batch, featuring art by Drew Rausch! ++ MIDSUMMER SCREAM: PERFUME BLENDS ($26) PUMPKIN AND GREEN CHYPRE PUMPKIN DOOB PUMPKIN RICE PUDDING PUMPKIN OAKMOSS ++ MIDSUMMER SCREAM: BLACK PHOENIX TRADING POST ($30) AMBER PUMPKIN HAIR GLOSS PATCHOULI PUMPKIN HAIR GLOSS BONUS: On Sunday the 29th, the Lab's own Tom Blunt [that's me, Failmingo!] will be moderating a queer horror panel for Midsummer Scream, featuring a skeleton crew of exciting guests, including Alaska Thunderfuck. More info on that here!

Pardon us for neglecting the Trading Post -- it’s been a bit warm outside, and every extra ounce of energy’s gone toward fanning our nether-regions with sheaves of voter-registration cards. Will any of these make it up to you? CARAMEL PATCHOULI HAIR GLOSS VIOLET AND GREEN TEA HAIR GLOSS (Remember, Black Phoenix’s Hair Gloss is paraben and sulfate free, and contains no petro-chemicals, no GMOs, and no triclosan!) Don’t neglect your other body parts -- there’s also a fresh array of bar soaps to lather up with: MOUSE’S LONG AND SAD TALE SOAP “Vanilla, two ambers, sweet pea and white sandalwood.” ANNE BONNY SOAP “Named in honor of the most notorious female pirate to ever set sail. Wicked, cruel, beautiful, intelligent, resourceful and dangerous: a true role model. A blend of Indonesian red patchouli, red sandalwood, and frankincense.“ DIRTY SOAP “A wonderful antidote to an all-nighter oozing with drunken, addled perversion and debauchery. A fresh, crisp white linen scent: perfectly clean, perfectly breezy.” ***Note there are two versions available of each, one with silk peptides added, and one without (making the latter option vegan). For now, only the silk version of Mouse’s Long and Sad Tale is available. We’re not done treating your malaise just yet! We’ve also got this glossy black mug, which helps you safely administer most liquids directly from hand to face. Perfect for coffee, tea or one of Doc Constantine’s own questionably effective plague remedies! 1350 A.D. MUG Stay cool out there, friends! Never forget: smelling good is always the best revenge.

How much glory can you stand? We're testing to find out today with a flurry of releases: this month's Lunacy scent, our #BPAL7wordstorywinner, a fundraiser for a local roller derby squad, and at the heart of it all, twelve scents inspired by The Empress (AKA, the heart of it all). Here she is without further ado, squishy cushions and all: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/the-fools-journey/the-empress/ And here's that Lunacy blend, KARI, visiting all the way from Saturn's orbit: "White pear, dandelion sap, and champaca blossom, chilled by a gust of white musk." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/a-little-lunacy-limited-edition/kari/ Amidst all the world's strife, let's not forget to support the kids in our communities who are training to take on ever-greater challenges. BPAL is proud to support our local Angel City Junior Derby 2018 A-Listers with the proceeds from this blend, LIKE A GIRL: "A sleek skin musk with Mysore sandalwood, bourbon vanilla, frankincense resin, and a touch of costus." https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/collaborations/like-a-girl/ Our story contest concluded recently with this winning GREED-themed entry: "Killed the last rhino for its horn." The resulting scent is a solemn blend of ambergris accord, orris root, and carrot seed.(Congrats again, Melanie C! Keep your eyes peeled for a complimentary bottle in the post.) blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/seven-word-story-greed/ Empress willing, may everyone enjoy a little peace this weekend.

It's time to announce the winner of our seventh and final #BPAL7wordstory contest! Congrats are in order for Melanie C., who submitted the winning greed-themed entry via Twitter: "Killed the last rhino for its horn." This story will go on to be adapted into a perfume oil blend in the very near future. It was a particularly tight race (and indeed, this was not even the only rhino story we received). Below are a few honorable mentions. "They kick ragged men, snatching dropped coin." -- Kiana Nguyen "The factory doors were locked; they burned" -- @Tommer_m "After he starved, she unpacked the rations"-- AJ Taylor "The crow took both eyes—one slipped." -- Dianne Thornhill Thanks one and all for your creativity and your kindness toward the winners. We kicked off our 7 word story contest in February 2016. Since then we've read literally thousands of submissions, and released some wonderfully unusual fragrances. Keep your eyes peeled for scent notes and a sales link for this GREED entry in the days to come! It's time to announce the winner of our seventh and final #BPAL7wordstorycontest! Congrats are in order for Melanie C., who submitted the winning greed-themed entry via Twitter: "Killed the last rhino for its horn." This story will go on to be adapted into a perfume oil blend in the very near future. It was a particularly tight race (and indeed, this was not even the only rhino story we received). Below are a few honorable mentions. "They kick ragged men, snatching dropped coin." -- Kiana Nguyen "The factory doors were locked; they burned" -- @Tommer_m "After he starved, she unpacked the rations"-- AJ Taylor "The crow took both eyes—one slipped." -- Dianne Thornhill Thanks one and all for your creativity and your kindness toward the winners. We kicked off our 7 word story contest in February 2016. Since then we've read literally thousands of submissions, and released some wonderfully unusual fragrances. Keep your eyes peeled for scent notes and a sales link for this GREED entry in the days to come!

Hello all -- Just a note imploring you to be forgiving if Trading Post seems slower than usual in responding to your requests this week. Ted is having a minor surgery today and it may take him a few days to get back in the proper swing of things. Feel better soon, Teddy!

It's the little things that make artist sponsorships worthwhile... around 6:05, the new episode of Two Minutes To Late Night features a hilarious ad for their BPAL scent WHIFF-LASH, “A real scent you can buy for money which we get to keep.” Here’s the link to the perfume! Get on it, you unwashed metal muckety-mucks. A scent for the consummate gentleman thrasher: Oiled black leather, grease paint, and aftershave.

You dainty dame, for that you be so coy, I will so pluck your plumes as you shall say no more: Go, go, go, seek some other where, importune me no more. Queen Elizabeth I Red roses, red carnation, and grandiflorum jasmine grounded by regal amber and sweet, dark patchouli. In the bottle, the roses dominate everything, as they tend to do (and rightly so). Naturally, as soon as it hits the skin the jasmine rises off of it like smoke, as it tends to do (and again, rightly so). The carnation does its thing spicing up the background, making this bouquet appear even fuller. The amber and patchouli are here to make sure it's not mistaken for a celebratory one -- there's a distinct heaviness, an ache. Overall the blend is a bold gesture, and definitely a disdainful one, but throbs with irrepressible desire, and I personally found the overall effect quite consoling -- I think that's the amber, breathing gently at the very end.

Not a drill! These long-dead vintage BPAL scents are back for a limited time in a slightly tweaked form. Due to component issues, the originals are gone for good, but their spirits are back to haunt us until August 28th. Here's the list: Venom Aeval Bread-and-Butterfly Black Hellebore Bluebeard Dragon’s Eye Forbidden Fruit Ultraviolet Umbra Loviatar Silk Road Baghdad De Sade Also! Take note that the following scents are back in stock (in their original formula) after a component-drought hiatus: Grandmother of Ghosts Red Rider Night Gaunt Blood Pearl Gomorrah Hades Deadly Nightshade Honey Destroying Angel Mag Mell Malice Hopefully this will put a shine on what we know has been a very difficult week for a lot of people! Have a good weekend, friends.

Before we lose you for the weekend, a handful of updates! First off, The Fool’s Journey continues into uncertain territory with THE HIGH PRIESTESS, a set of eleven scents reveling in various aspects of the tarot deck’s second trump card. Speaking of the cards, we have collaborated with Fabio Listrani on a divination blend specifically attuned to his Santa Muerte Tarot, published last fall by Lo Scarabeo. The result is ADVICE OF THE DEAD: “Wisdom dispensed from beyond the grave: black copal, golden chrysanthemums, myrrh, worm-slick soil, and gilded marigolds.” Last but not least, this month’s Lunacy blend lights up the atmosphere just like its namesake (if you happen to be on Saturn). Here’s ANTHE: “Blueberry and tangerine for the bright plunage of the kingfisher, limned with frozen flower petals.” Have an excellent holiday! May the Priestess provide one and all with the wisdom and clarity that remain elusive in the world around us.

That's right, we went there. We're raising funds for the ACLU with this new scent inspired by the White House's recent landscaping problem. With our help, you can be fashionable, topical, AND charitable. "The scent of a swamp self-draining: globs of wet earth, crushed grass, and untended dandelions sliding into a morass of moss-crusted opoponax, labdanum, and tar." Share it with your friends, we're definitely hoping to ride the coattails of this year's hottest sinkhole (to date) into viral stardom: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/activism/i-know-words-i-have-the-best-words/sinkhole/ Our gorgeous new SINKHOLE perfume raises funds for the ACLU! With our help, you can be fashionable, topical, AND charitable. "The scent of a swamp self-draining: globs of wet earth, crushed grass, and untended dandelions sliding into a morass of moss-crusted opoponax, labdanum, and tar."

Friends, it’s time to kick off the seventh installment of our #BPAL7wordstory contest! The winning GREED-themed story will be translated into a limited edition perfume by our house expert on scent and sin. Any la$t words? You’ve got until June 1st to email your entries to 7words@blackphoenixalchemylab.com, or tweet them @bpal with the hashtag #BPAL7wordstory. We’ll pick a winner mid-June, and the resulting fragrance will debut at our June 30th Lunacy event. The winner also receives a free bottle of their story’s scent. Here are the official rules and regulations, and here’s a link to our six previous winners! Ready… set… GREED!

Hi, everyone! As a result of new improvements to our website, everyone with an account at http://blackphoenixalchemylab.com will be prompted to reset their passwords. Just a note so you don't panic when it pops up!