Failmingo

As promised! Here are the hair glosses. https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/dog-days-of-summer/ Here's our romantic perfume commercial starring Pickle, Wednesday, and Zoe's butt: https://vimeo.com/230695689 ++ THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER A paean to the Hounds of Black Phoenix! The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state that the dog is full of love. I've also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest. Proceeds from the sale of these hair glosses will benefit the Pasadena Humane Society & SPCA. The Pasadena Humane Society & SPCA is a donor-supported, nonprofit organization that provides animal care and services for homeless and owned animals in the Greater Los Angeles Area. The organization is dedicated to promoting humane treatment and compassionate care for all animals. The animals in its care come from 11 animal control contract cities, as well as partner shelters across the Los Angeles area and beyond. The Pasadena Humane Society & SPCA also offers lifesaving programs and services to the community that support the human-animal bond and keep pets in homes. Please note: these are hair glosses for human hair. Not dog fur. Or cat fur. Or hamster fur. Not lizard scales, not tarantula carapaces, not turtle shells; neither is it for feathers, whiskers, or paw pads. This is a human hair gloss for human heads that is inspired by doggos but is NOT to be used ON doggos. ELLA Not a dog, not a hound, but a 100% genuine cur: Brian’s crazy swamp girl, the Blueberry Catahoula Hog Dog! Louisiana’s olive blossom and magnolia swirled with blueberries. GRANITE Brian’s sweet Granite passed at Halloween in 2014, and our hearts broke. This scent is a captured memory: the day that a bottle of body lotion accidentally fell on him. It’s a rich patchouli carnation mingled with warm fur and a hint of corn chip-paws. LOLA Jacquelynn’s beautiful baby! She has a unique independence that I attribute to her being an Aquarius. She hates closed doors and crates. She likes the option to join the party or not. She is intelligent, loyal and protective. Super affectionate with people she knows, but aloof with strangers. A wintry-white flurry of snow, as pale as her eyes, with lacquered black pepper and oudh. PA-POW Pa-Pow the Wonderdog: the great love of Teddy’s life, his little soulmate. We lost her in 2008, but her spirit will be with Teddy forever. Three golden ambers with a hint of jellybean. PICKLE Lilith’s bright, bouncy, goofy Leo! A gleaming vanilla cream poof of coconut with a hint of tiare. PUGSLEY We lost our darling Pugsley many years ago, but Lilith swears that she can hear his ghost barking at the mailman to this day. Dedicated defender of the household, bane to all small birds. We miss you, Pugsley. Black tea, tonka bean, and licorice root with sweet black musk. WEDNESDAY My cantankerous old lady, a dog of many names: Lumpy, No-Fun Dog, Grandma, Day-Day, and Cranks. She always looked like a s’more to me, so her scent is scorched marshmallows and melted chocolate with cinnamon sugar-dusted graham cracker bits. ZOË Ella’s best friend and Pickle’s nemesis! A voracious lover of food and all things foodlike: warm milk chocolate and Canadian maple syrup with amber and caramel.

Hi everyone! We know some of you are bummed you won't be able to dig into our Dragon Con scents, so take heart -- this afternoon, we're launching a special Trading Post update called The Dog Days of Summer. That's eight hair glosses inspired by BPAL staff's beloved companions, past and present. (These are for use on humans only, pls.) We wanted our forum friends to be the first to hear about it. Keep your eyes peeled for an announcement from Puddin' as the links go live!

For those visiting our booth at Dragon Con this year -- as well as those sending someone to shop on your behalf -- we offer the following draconian scents. You're reading this correctly: eight perfumes and five hair glosses! Look for the label art and full video promo rollout on social media in the next day or so -- but this should help with organizing group orders in the meantime. Tread carefully, friends... HC SVNT DRACONES ++ DRAGON CON 2017 BPAL ($26) BADGERED BY DRAGONS Dark chocolate, coffee absolute, sugar cane, caramel, and tobacco. CHASTISING YOUR DRAGON BAD DRAGON! BAD! Cherry blossom, bourbon vanilla, rice milk, and white sandalwood. DRAGON CHORUS Sweet red patchouli and hay absolute with a hint of orange peel, cocoa, and amber. DRAGON SIDE-EYE Golden peach and black oudh with lychee, auburn musk, and Italian bergamot. DRAGON SMOOCH Honeyed mint and peach marshmallow. DRAGON WITH A JAUNTY CAP A sassy strawberry red musk chypre. NO PLS Dismissively forbidding: white musk, honeyed orange blossom, and orris slammed by black pepper, tobacco absolute, blue musk, and cedar. SURLY DRAGON Sour orange and fiery pink pepper with mandarin, neroli, and rum absolute. ++ DRAGON CON 2017 HAIR GLOSS ($28) DRAGON MLERM Vanilla marshmallow apricot poof. DRAGON UMBRAGE Black currant bud, crumbly rose, black clove, strawberry seed, and bergamot. DRAGONFLY & DRAGON Blue lotus blossom, iris root, iridescent musk, green tea, and a touch of fiery anise. SENSITIVE FOLK MUSICIAN DRAGON Nag champa, patchouli, and red sandalwood. SO JUDGEY A splash of gin, bitter lemon, and spiky juniper berries.

Hello, everyone! We're aware that some of you are receiving strange privacy notifications when you visit our site, and we're actively working to correct the problem. Thanks for your patience -- we're on it!

Hi everyone, the annual drag pageant that BPAL sponsors has crowned its 2017 winner, Qualms Galore, and we made sure to send a video message from Lilith congratulating them. (Here's her message from last year, if you want a double dose of cuteness.) The Nobodies raised over $600 for charity last night alone! We are proud to be part of such an inclusive and original event. If you want a heads up about next year's pageant, follow their page here: https://www.facebook.com/mxnobodypageant/

...Tadd Melson of San Diego, who signed our Black Book at Midsummer Scream last week. Here's what Tadd's getting in the mail: BLACK BOOK Hand-tooled leather and gold leaf, yellowed pages smeared with a sliver of black ink, and dusty balsam, all bound with a dark, smoky oudh. Your next chance to sign will be this Friday's Lunacy event at the Lab, between 6-9pm. Rules and regulations here: http://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/new-from-bpal-sign-our-black-book/

Congratulations are in order for Tyler Butler, the winner of our latest #BPAL7wordstory contest, for this entry submitted via Twitter: "Galatea wept as Pygmalion carved new statues." This story will serve as the inspiration for a new scent, which we'll debut later this month! Our sincere thanks for the hundreds and hundreds of entries we received -- it's only getting harder to choose as this contest proceeds. We'll share some honorable mentions on social media over the weekend!

Those who live within striking distance of the Lab won't wanna miss our August Lunacy event -- it will be hot, so we're making sure you don't have to layer up. Come to our Innsmouth Beach Blast! August 11, 6-9pm 12120 Sherman Way North Hollywood CA, 91605 Here's the video teaser Galen Adair made for our event! Feel free to circulate and invite your friends. https://vimeo.com/228276383

Our friends The Nobodies are here with another installment of a video series so refreshing, we just had to capture it in scent. This time the drag troupe reviews WWE's "Battleground" event, which seems to have temporarily united wrestling fans in their appraisal of its mostly-awfulness. Enjoy!

Hello, Everyone. As most of you know, your purchase of a CD fragrance includes a printed pitch card and carnaval ticket. Yay! Unfortunately, our vendor for these paper goods has let us down, backing out of our latest order and leaving us with a sizable backlog of customers still awaiting their ticket and card. In the interest of satisfying our customers as swiftly as possible, the Lab has decided to go ahead and fulfill the perfume portion of these orders ASAP. We're keeping a list of those who're still owed their cards, and we'll mail those out separately once we have them, at zero additional expense to the customer. While costly and cumbersome (and not a little disappointing) for us at the Lab, this solution is your fastest route to the midway, and we believe it's the best way to go. Thanks for your patience and understanding in the interim -- we know these particular scents mean a lot to people, and we're determined to live up to your expectations. Sorry for the extra wait, in the meantime!

Today, the Trump administration announced that they will be reinstating the US military ban on transgender people. This policy not only affects the livelihoods of thousands upon thousands of transgender military personnel, but also paves the way for further acts of bigotry and hate in our government and communities. We are hosting an emergency fundraiser for our friends at the National Center for Transgender Equality and for ACLU Nationwide. The two scents that are going live are being pulled from a future coffee-themed update that was slated for 2018. I specifically chose these scents because they are cheery and uplifting – without the usual highly-specific socio-political context that we attached to many of our fundraiser scents – in the hopes that it will sell well and sell quickly so that we can be as effective as possible in helping out. Help us take an immediate stand to fight this unconstitutional, immoral, and unnecessarily cruel ban. Even if you choose not to make a purchase, please consider donating to or volunteering with the NCTE and/or ACLU. Stand with the transgender community, and be a compassionate and hard-working ally to all marginalized groups whose civil rights, livelihood, happiness, health and well-being are being trampled by this administration. IRISH COFFEE BUTTERCREAM Irish whiskey, granulated sugar, brown sugar, whipped cream, buttercream and coffee. SPICED RUM BUTTERCREAM COFFEE Coffee and rum laced with allspice, nutmeg, clove, star anise, cardamom, and cinnamon gently whipped into buttercream.

As another Con season descends upon us (this year we’ll be at Midsummer Scream, Dragon Con, and NYCC), we at the Lab offer the following extra enticement to come visit our tiny, fragrant island of tranquility in the midst of those teeming masses. All it will cost is… your soul. Just kidding, mostly! At our convention appearances and Los Angeles Lunacy events, you’ll find a gorgeous black tome on display, hand-crafted by McCall Company. Sign our tenebrous guestbook with your name and email address (plus any additional love notes), and not only will you receive our occasional email newsletter — you’ll be entered to win one free bottle of a scent that’s impossible to obtain any other way. That’s right, the following blend will never be available for sale on Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s site. So go right ahead: take a deep breath, steel your nerve, and sign our Black Book. BLACK BOOK Hand-tooled leather and gold leaf, yellowed pages smeared with a sliver of black ink, and dusty balsam, all bound with a dark, smoky oudh. BLACK BOOK Official Rules and Regulations Only one entry (and email address) per person, per event. Duplicates will be fed directly to the flames. If we can’t contact you, we can’t send you a prize. Please write legibly! One winner will be randomly selected following each event, and publicly announced by the name written alongside their email address. While all entries will be added to our email list, you may unsubscribe at any time. Employees of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab or any of their respective entities, subsidiaries, and immediate families (spouses, parents, children, and siblings and their spouses) and/or persons living in the same households as such persons of each are not eligible to enter. The winning entry or entries will be selected in the sole discretion of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. The Lab reserves the right to select one or more entries based on the quality of entries received. Entries will be judged on their overall narrative, as well as their potential for providing scent inspiration. The Lab agrees to use all commercially reasonable efforts to provide credit in whatever format entrants request (i.e., real name, forum name, other pseudonym). All applicable federal, state, and local laws and regulations apply. You are responsible for knowing the laws of your jurisdiction with respect to contest entry. The Black Book project and these rules will be governed, construed and interpreted under the laws of California. By entering, you agree to be bound by these rules and by the decisions of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, which are final and binding in all respects. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab reserves the right to change these rules at any time, and in its sole discretion, and to suspend, cancel, postpone or extend the project. Individuals who violate or fail to comply with these rules, violate any law, rule or regulation in connection with participation in the application process, tamper with the operation of the entry process, or engage in any conduct that is detrimental or unfair to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, the application process, any other applicants (in each case as determined in Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s sole discretion), are subject to disqualification.

We wanna try to keep the RuPaul's DragCon spirit going year round, so we at BPAL decided to sponsored the NYC drag troupe The Nobodies' annual pageant, "MX. NOBODY." Their competition is open to people of all genders, ages, sizes, talents, you name it! For the second year in a row, we are providing the pageant with its grand prize: Mx. Nobody 2017 will receive $500, not to mention gift certificates from Gothic Renaissance and some other great sponsors. Here's Lilith serenading last year's winner! In the meantime, The Nobodies' video series in which they review WWE pay-per-view events has enjoyed sudden and immediate popularity among wrestling fans -- they were even invited to do an AMA in the official wrestling subreddit. A lot of wrestling fans haven't been exposed to much in the way of drag, but apparently there's enough crossover between these worlds for the videos to net tens of thousands of views. Isn't 2017 a wild time to be alive? In any event, if supporting the LGBTQ means crafting the ultimate drag-queens-watching-wrestling scent, we are here to serve: NOBODIES WATCHING WRESTLING Black leather and strawberry lip gloss. If you're interested in attending one of the nights of the Mx. Nobody pageant in person, here's the schedule! (These are FB event pages) WEEK 1: Thursday, July 13 WEEK 2: Thursday, July 20 WEEK 3: Thursday, July 27 WEEK 4: Thursday, August 3 GRAND FINALE: Thursday, August 10 You'll see The Nobodies at our booth this year at New York Comic Con. Be careful, Bearica's a hugger!

Thanks to everyone who came to visit the other night -- photographer Jason Thompson has been snapping event photos for us and was very proud of this set. Everyone looks terrific! http://www.blackphoenixgazette.com/your-june-gloom-photos-are-here/

Antique Lace lovers, this is for you: Tomorrow, Black Phoenix Trading Post will release the remaining 150 bottles of Antique Lace Hair Gloss. That's Tuesday, June 20 at 1 p.m. PDT! If past sales are any indication, they won't last long! Here's the link: https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/shop/antique-lace-hair-gloss-hair-gloss/

Lordy, we sure hope those tapes exist too. In the meantime, why not help the ACLU fight the major battles headed our way? LORDY For the folksy FBI agent in your life. Reminiscent of a classic 1950’s men’s cologne with a shuffle of paper, a briefcase-snap of black leather, and yesterday’s cold coffee. Proceeds benefit the @ACLU https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/lordy/

Anyone stalking our Shiny section already knows, but for the rest of you: American Gods has 26 new perfume oil blends for you to browse, plus three new atmosphere sprays up on Trading Post. Enjoy -- just as before, these sales benefit the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund!

Drive by and do some good next Friday at L.A. Lunacy Event: JUNE GLOOM, where you can buy an exclusive new scent that helps ensure the survival of those living on Skid Row. . According to the BBC, Los Angeles' homeless population has gone up 23% in just one year. Many of these citizens live outdoors during the hottest months of the summer, without access to running water. By donating to Drive-By Do-Gooders, you help ensure a bare minimum of support for those in the greatest need: water, alcohol-soaked cleaning wipes, and emergency protein. Whenever possible, the group also makes sure that clothing, tarps, and menstrual hygiene products also make it to people who, for whatever reason, would be otherwise unable to get them. (Many people living on the Row have physical and mental disabilities that keep them from traveling to drop-off points or places that dispense these resources.) http://drivebydogooders.com Those attending our event on the 16th can donate by purchasing this exclusive fragrance, which honors the life that persists in barren places: DANDELIONS & CONCRETE ($24) Sun-yellow petals thrusting through asphalt, a lilting touch of white musk, crisp juniper, blackcurrant bud, and ambrette seed.

This weekend was a joyous occasion for the entire BPAL family. Thanks one and all for your well wishes!

That feeling you're feeling? It smells like this. Behold, our newest scent with proceeds benefiting the ACLU: COVFEFE Is it abstract nonsense poetry? Surrealist performance art? Cryptography so subtle and devious that it would make an Enigma machine blush? The verbal component of whatever spell that orb casts? Safe word? A typo fueled by cheap hooch, NoDoz, and poor impulse control? Is negative press covfefe anything like French press covfefe? This perfume makes no fucking sense: orange marshmallow cream, bitter lemon, black pepper, orange carnation, and gin. Proceeds from this late-night nonsense benefit the ACLU, which has been working overtime to defend the rights and liberties guaranteed to everyone in this country by the laws and Constitution of the United States.

Howdy, all! It's time for us to revive our #BPAL7wordstory contest, which invites one and all to dazzle us in as few words as possible, with the ultimate goal of having a perfume inspired by your story. This time our theme is ENVY, and all the rules for entry can be found over at the Gazette. Multiple entries via Twitter or email are fine (you can include them all in one email, or send them separately). The deadline for this round is June 6th. Get ready... get set... spite us in seven!

The moon ascends, springtime swells to ripeness, and our coffers (and coffins) are bursting with Lunacy fragrances. Behold: ANTIQUE LACE PERFUME https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/limite…/antique-lace-2/ ANTIQUE LACE HAIR GLOSS https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/…/antique-lace-hair-gl…/ SINGLE NOTE: LEMONGRASS https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/single-note-lemongrass/ STRAWBERRY MOON https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/a-lit…/strawberry-moon/ A SONG: WHEN JUNE IS PAST, THE FADING ROSE https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/…/a-song-when-june-is-p…/ And an exclusive for those attending our L.A. May Lunacy: Necro-PROM-icon event: SQUAMOUS TUSSIE-MUSSIE ($24) A regional variation of the traditional prom corsage: black rose, purple carnation and belladonna with a spray of baby’s breath, dusted with frankincense, opoponax, and crushed yew seeds.

Woe for the blood-bespattered locks of gray, alas for the rent robe, which you assumed, it seems, only that you might be slain in it! Cassius Dio Ambergris and bay leaf, lemon peel and regal mandarin, white cedar and khus, grey oudh and star anise. I know the time period doesn't line up AT ALL, but I was really looking forward to this as a sort of debauched powdered-wig scent, based on the name as well as the listed notes. And I've gotta say, I was not disappointed! In the bottle, I'm getting the same ambergris note that really makes Black Forest glow. Here, that same air of mystery is injected into an insouciant gentlemen's cologne, with almost none of Black Forest's sweetness -- I'm glad she went ahead and used the word "regal" in the description, because that is all I can think when I smell this in the bottle. The overall vibe is... hazardously amoral. On the skin, the khus is less forceful and sort of lifts the other notes on a waft of smoke, an effect someone at Lunacy last night described as "infernal." The ambergris going airborne like that is what contributes to the powdered wig association in my mind -- it teases the nose from a distance with a deceptively soft touch, but the deeper you lean into it, the darker it gets. Like so many of these Ides of March scents (and the recent Lupercalias) this blend seems to hint at a cover-up job -- a thin veneer of respectability stretched over something utterly unwholesome. It would be ravishing on a man, but there's nothing in this one that I think would read as masculine on a woman. There's a spiciness in the dry-down thanks to the anise -- this probably wouldn't read as anise to anyone who hadn't read the description, so if that's not a note you cherish, you are probably still on pretty safe ground. I'll be holding on to this bottle for a long time.

We celebrate the debut of Neil Gaiman's American Gods by sprinkling a few more scents into our ever-growing collection. Behold the following additions: AMERICA’S NEW GODS BECOMING THUNDER THE BEST LIES THE BUFFALO MAN CIGARETTES AND OFFERINGS GLASS EYE THE JEWELED SPIDER SEARCH ENGINE TAKE THE MOON Meanwhile, Trading Post is overflowing with new atmosphere sprays and nail polishes! https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/…/officia…/americangods/ ++ BPTP ATMOSPHERE SPRAYS THE HALL OF FORGOTTEN GODS IBIS AND JACQUEL’S FUNERAL PARLOR MR. NANCY’S HOUSE ++ BPTP NAIL POLISH SHADOW MOON ZORYA POLUNOCHNAYA MISTER WEDNESDAY BECOMING THUNDER THE BLOOD MUST FLOW CZERNOBOG LAURA THE JEWELED SPIDER AMERICA’S NEW GODS BILQUIS THE INTANGIBLES MAD SWEENEY TECHNICAL BOY EASTER MR. WORLD COIN TRICK MR. NANCY’S GLOVES Hope you enjoyed the show's premiere -- so much more remains to be seen!

Hey hennies, we are thrilled to be appearing in full force at this weekend's 3rd annual RuPaul's DragCon. Last year we did two scents and two wig sprays... this year we're doing three of each! Take a gander over at our Tumblr post if you wanna see all the accompanying art. See you at the Con! ++ DRAGCON 2017 EXCLUSIVE PERFUMES $24 apiece. Featuring label artwork by Lily Gabrielle Hoyda. COMEDY QUEEN Orange blossom and honey cotton candy. PAGEANT QUEEN Sickeningly effervescent: electric tuberose, neroli, and lily of the valley bubbling with glittering aldehydes. GOTH QUEEN Clove smoke, opium poppy, blackened patchouli, and a dribble of sugared absinthe. ++ DRAGCON 2017 WIG SPRAYS $25 apiece. Featuring label artwork by Eric Thurnbeck. BLONDE WIG SPRAY Cascades of honeyed oudh. BLUE WIG SPRAY Silvered lilacs and violets, white grapefruit, glittering musk, and a squirt of blueberry. GINGER WIG SPRAY Hot ginger root, red musk, rooibos tea, and coconut husk.