Failmingo

Hi everyone -- our littlest drag aficionado wants to officially welcome you to next week's DragCon proceedings: We'll have Con Exclusive scents and wig sprays (three of each!) We're very excited to be able to do a local event that supports so many worthwhile artists and members of our LGBTQ community. See you there!

Hello everyone, today marks the return of our collaboration with Neil Gaiman on AMERICAN GODS -- soon to be a huge collection encompassing perfumes, atmosphere sprays, and nail polish. The first in a series of updates has gone live today! Proceeds benefit CBLDF, and we're thrilled to have Hugo-winner Julie Dillon on board to create our stunning new label art. It's all here for your perusal, with more coming soon! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/neil-gaiman/american-gods/ https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/official-neil-gaiman/americangods/

Tonight’s Pink Moon paves the way for next month’s Flower Moon – get ready for May with our particularly intoxicating take on this potent portent! (Don’t forget to stock up on this month’s Single Note, SRI LANKAN LIME.) FLOWER MOON A toxic interpretation: lily of the valley threaded with fly agaric spores, castor flower accord, hemlock bark, crushed belladonna berries, a cascade of wisteria, white oleander, and opium tar. Please note: this perfume does not contain any toxic or poisonous plants. The description is poetic, not literal. The scent is fantastic, but it will not literally knock you dead.

BIG NEWS! This Friday, BPAL will launch the next phase in our ongoing collaboration with Neil Gaiman: a huge addition to our American Gods fragrance line - including new nail lacquers and atmosphere sprays , with proceeds going to Comic Book Legal Defense Fund and featuring art by Hugo-winner Julie Dillon. CBLDF fights for the First Amendment rights of all those who love reading and creating comics. This new collection (more than sixty scents in all) is a dream come true for BPAL, in which a terrific cause meets a unique artistic vision. The party starts at BPAL and BPTP on Friday, April 14th! Video trailer by Galen Adair:

Did you think we’d let you off this easily? Black Phoenix Trading Post is celebrating April Fools’ Day in style with two more timeless pranks: POP-OUT EYEBALL GLASSES Hair Gloss, and RUBBER CHICKEN Bath Bombs! Both feature artwork by Drew Rausch. HAIR GLOSS: POP-OUT EYEBALL GLASSES Lemon-squirted champagne with sugar and a splort of blueberry and blackcurrant. RUBBER CHICKEN BATH BOMBS Rubber chickens are to Black Phoenix what the ravens are to the Tower of London. Rubber chickens have been an integral part of BPAL since time immemorial. Every physical location that the Lab has inhabited has contained at least one rubber chicken, and we have several Emergency Rubber Chickens on-hand in case one vanishes. They buoy our optimism, they are icons of the absurd, they remind us not to take ourselves – or anything else – too seriously. They are part and parcel with the soul of Black Phoenix, and now we’re sharing a little fragment of their rubbery, orangey joy with you. Be safe out there, pranksters!

Beloved Fools, You're a hard bunch to surprise, so we're landing on you a day early with this very special April Fools' Day update, complete with upsetting label art by Drew Rausch. Dare you inflict our JOY BUZZER or RUBBER POOP on your unsuspecting friends? Dare you risk meeting the same fate as our LAB RAT, pinned beneath the combined weight of hundreds of BPAL scents? Welcome to PRANK - the olfactory equivalent of that gum that turns your mouth black! Please prank responsibly -- and keep an eye out for pranks as you prowl Black Phoenix Trading Post in the near future, you never know what foolishness might await you. ++ PRANK CHATTERING TEETH Electric cherry and iced vanilla. JOY BUZZER Silvered honey zapped with fizzy champagne grape. RUBBER POOP Chocolate and caramel with flecks of cacao bean and toasted tonka. SNAKE CAN Fancy salted Snake Oil with a hint of mixed nuts. SQUIRTING BOUTONNIERE Hot pink rose wet with cucumber and water lily. WHOOPIE CUSHION Raspberry pulp with orange blossom, patchouli, and a pfffffft of red musk ++ LAB RAT 2017 Those who enter the Lab in North Hollywood, or approach our booth at conventions, often ask: “Mmmm, what’s that I’m smelling?” Naturally, the answer is: EVERYTHING. The aggregate of literally hundreds of perfumes hangs in the air around us while we work, staining our clothes and lingering on our skin after we go home. Just another day in the life of a smelly Lab Rat! Despite many requests, this weirdly specific scent has never been available for purchase… until now! In the spirit of mad science, we assigned one of our laboratory helpers the ignoble task of gathering samples of literally every scent currently in BPAL’s general catalog, and combining them in one immense jug.*** The Lab Rat in question took copious notes during the blending process, documenting the scent’s evolution as he worked through shelves packed with alphabetized bottles. (The cumulative effect of this olfactory journey must have taken a psychological toll — he hasn’t returned to the Lab since.) For those with an academic interest, we have included our Lab Rat’s notes below — the portions that were legible, anyway. 21 through AZATHOTH: Just got through the A’s, and so far we have a spicy, lively, almost disturbingly energetic scent, hovering over a sort of dark, fruity abyss. It’s almost too bad we have to keep going, it would be great to just stop here. 21 through BURIAL: Already so different — now we have a lovely astringent, almost coniferous smell rising on a cloud of… *sniff sniff* black tea? 21 through CZERNOBOG: This has suddenly become a sort of musky, foodie smell, gleaming with… honeysuckle? Or is it just honey mixing with other flowers? Starting to feel a little dizzy TBH. 21 through DRINK ME: Molasses, leather, mint… like nothing I’ve smelled in the GC so far. Only at the D’s so far and my hands are already getting tired, my head feels clobbered, and the jug is still mostly empty. What time is it? Is that music coming from a radio somewhere? 21 through EVENT HORIZON: Mossy night-flowers, glimmer of spice, something alive and restless. Working through my lunch break just to get this over with. 21 through FOREST REVERIE: Fruity jungle blooms, crop circles, disco balls. The nose equivalent of trying to read the subject lines in my junk mail folder. 21 through GROG: ?????? 21 through HUNGER: Juniper, freesia, alpine air, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, the hills are alive, THEY’RE ALIVE 21 through THE ISLES OF DEMONS: ?????//???? honey apple gardenia please kill me 21 through JABBERWOCKY [REDACTED on the advice of our legal counsel] LAB RAT Eau de Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. The cumulative weight of hundreds of scents — a cacophony of mythology, fiction, folk magic, and other arcane influences, all clamoring for your attention at once. ***A note to those with allergies and skin sensitivities: by definition, LAB RAT contains any and every possible component

Immerse yourself in the luxurious romance of Art Nouveau! Support Century Guild, and pick up one of the scents that we created exclusively for this project! FLOWERING LINES rare ART NOUVEAU posters graphics 1895-1910Romantic Art Nouveau artworks from the Golden Age of Vintage Poster Art: Rare images from the Century Guild Museum of Art archives. Back their Kickstarter at $54 and in addition to a book, you’ll nab one of the corresponding Limited Edition BPAL scents (or scoop up all three books/scents for $159). BEAUTIFUL MACABRE Ink-black patchouli, red and black musks, honey carnation, red currant, and oakmoss. FLOWERING LINES Apricot-tinted lilies, heady white climbing roses, sweet pea, and red carnation. TRANSCENDENT LUXURY A lavish white amber chypre with lemon verbena, opulent white gardenia, tuberose, and tonka. Tell 'em BPAL sent ya!

Hello all -- in anticipation of the notorious Ides of March, we have a special six-scent update inspired by historical accounts of the death of Julius Caesar. You can find those here: ++ IDUS MARTIAE Also we have a PINK MOON Lunacy scent for you, as well as a VANILLA ORCHID Single Note. Beware! (And enjoy!)

They're here, folks! Hair gloss, bath oils, and atmosphere sprays to get you (and/or others) in the mood. This year's divine offerings: ++ Novel Ideas For Secret Amusements ++ Box Of Chocolates https://blackphoenixtradingpost.com/category/lupercalia-2017

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! (Be ours?)

Congrats again to Crystal Rose-Thompson for inking the words that inspired Beth to craft the following blend: ++ BPAL7WORDSTORY GLUTTONY “The sirens eagerly beckoned the approaching ship.” Sea splash on murky labdanum and gleaming olibanum, veiled in lavender, diaphanous osmanthus, gilded saffron, and honey incense. Stay tuned for more contest announcements coming soon!

We've got more stuff going live right now than you can shake a stick (or any other phallic object) at! ++ STARSTRUCK 2016 PISCES Mutable Water: the essence of faith. This is the scent of belief, be it in oneself, mankind, the gods, our myths, or our potential. This is the willingness to explore the darkness, the push towards the edges of fantasy or delirium. This is the perfume of the Psychopomp and the Mystic, the Saint and the Madman; this is the scent of the lifegiving salt of blood and ocean, and the darkest depths of the sea. Red musk and brine, ships’ planks of thorny acacia, an indescribable abyssophelagic musk, soporific lavender, and a strange, sweet waft of benzoin. ++ A LITTLE LUNACY WORM MOON Do not smirk as a hearse goes by, For you may be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet And throw you down six feet deep. They put you in a big black box, And cover you up with dirt and rocks. All goes well for a week or two, Then things start changing; all is new. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout. A big green worm with rolling eyes, Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes. Til your blood turns mossy green And oozes out like Devonshire cream. Worm Moon marks the season of rains, when the worms scuttle forth, aerating the earth with their movements and enriching the soil by digesting waste in organic material, which creates organic fertilizer. Pink and wriggling globs of grapefruit syrup clotted with congealed moss-green blood, rotting coffin wood spattered with soil, decomposing organic matter, and a gruesome burst of overripe blackberries. And don't forget those special Lupercalia Single Notes: ++ SINGLE NOTES LATEX RIDING CROP

Hi everyone, here's the link for the first wave of Lupercalia treats -- the Trading Post update should be coming next week. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/limited-edition/lupercalia-2017/ Enjoy!

I am just getting around to trying this one now. This is one of those examples of scents where Beth gets so deep down into the poetry the scent is referencing. Fresh on the skin, this scent is like a rolling dive from a white, clean space into a very mournful dark place. The passage back and forth in between evokes the earthy greenish imagery of the weeds and such mentioned by Frost. Not picking up on the vanilla at all until the last gasp of the drydown, which reads to me like it's meant to be something of a consolation, leaving you in a softer and more tender place than you were before -- the end of the path leading out of those woods, and back to the (relative) comforts of home. Terrific interpretation of literature into scent!

Crystal Rose-Thompson, with the following entry: "The sirens eagerly beckoned the approaching ship." Scent description and release forthcoming -- but you can count on sampling it at February's Lunacy event. Congrats, Crystal! We'll be posting some honorable mentions soon. In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for more chances to compete! Thanks for playing, everyone.

Hi, everyone! If you enjoyed NASTY WOMAN, then you'll be keen to hear about FAKE NEWS -- our new scent benefitting the ACLU. Include your Twitter handle in the Notes when you purchase, and we will tweet a fake news headline about you from BPAL's twitter account! Details below. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/fake-news/ FAKE NEWS 2016 turned out to be the year of the NASTY WOMAN — and thanks to your purchases, BPAL was able to donate thousands of dollars to Planned Parenthood and Emily’s List! Unfortunately, 2017 is already shaping up to be the year of FAKE NEWS. In anticipation of the upcoming inaugural proceedings — and the months, nay years of high-volume dishonesty that are to follow — we offer the following blend to help penetrate the dense fog of of misinformation that’s already begun settling around Truth, Justice, and other historically celebrated American ideals. Wear it in vigilance as you sift through the memes, trolls, clickbait, hate-speech, and outright propaganda that continually threaten to overwhelm all the world’s kindness, wisdom, and informed expertise. Wear it in courage as you refute ignorance and insincerity at every turn — even from our nation’s highest-ranking figures — with indisputable facts from well-researched sources. And try not to lose your sense of humor as you fight back, or your own essential humanity. As Anne Lamott once wrote: “You don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too.” FAKE NEWS: A scent of misdirection, of 140 frantic characters typed out in spite at 3am, and paranoia-clouded churlish accusations hurled at perceived enemies: crushed pink pepper pod, bitter white tobacco, gnarled patchouli, all covered in glinting, garish slashes of gold. Proceeds from FAKE NEWS will go to the American Civil Liberties Union, non-partisan defender of the rights and liberties guaranteed by the Constitution and laws of the United States. When purchasing, be sure to include your twitter handle in the Notes section of our order form — for every bottle you buy, we will tweet one fake news headline about you from our Twitter account (@BPAL).

Don't forget: this Friday will be our January Lunacy event at the Lab, and it’s also Friday the 13th, so make your way carefully through the world on your way to us. We’ll be accepting donations of socks, tarps, and cold-weather gear for Drive-By Do-Gooders, which will hand them out to those withstanding this very wet winter outdoors, on Skid Row. The tip jar for our refreshments will also benefit DBDG, and we’ll be hamming it up Shakespeare-style in accordance with this month’s theme: Tragedies. (Lilith wants to screen Hamlet, but which version?) Our Dirty South event will be on Saturday the 29th at 4pm, so do keep that in mind for later! Below you’ll find this month’s Lunacy offerings: Starstruck is drawing gradually to a close, the Winter Jasmine is blooming, the Hunger Moon is rising high in the sky, and – why look at that, 13 has returned to teach us a bit about the true reason for the season. ++ STARSTRUCK 2016 AQUARIUS Fixed Air: the essence of knowledge. Not the possession of knowledge, per se, but the desire for knowledge, the path itself, and the drive to seek truth, both personal and universal. This is a scent of progressiveness, modernism and intellectual curiosity, and of unpredictability and independence. This is the perfume of the humanist and inventor, electric with caprice: clove, mastic, and spikenard with benzoin, tonka, sweet vetiver, frankincense, and white pepper. ++ A LITTLE LUNACY HUNGER MOON When Hunger Moon hangs high in the sky, the fields are frozen, and game is piteously scarce. Sleet covers the ground, and biting winds chill to the bone. This is a quiet, cold perfume: desolate and despairing. It is a clear night sky that and bracing chill wind that bears the promise of snow, sharpened by the pain of hunger, and the sharp, rasping stab of thirst. Ozone, white sandalwood, crystallized white amber, verbena, oakmoss, clary sage, black pine pitch, and a hint of white citrus rind. ++ SINGLE NOTES WINTER JASMINE ++ FRIDAY THE 13TH 13 13 is significant, whether you consider it lucky, unlucky or just plain odd. Many believe it to be unfortunate……because there were 13 present at the Last Supper. …Loki crashed a party of 12 at Valhalla, which ended in Baldur’s death. …Oinomaos killed 13 of Hippodamia’s suitors before Pelops finally, in his own shady way, defeated the jealous king. …In ancient Rome, Hecate’s witches gathered in groups of 12, the Goddess herself being the 13th in the coven.Concern over the number thirteen echoes back beyond the Christian era. Line 13 was omitted form the Code of Hammurabi.The shivers over Friday the 13th also have some interesting origins: …Christ was allegedly crucified on Friday the 13th. …On Friday, October 13, 1307, King Philip IV of France ordered the arrests of Jaques de Molay, Grand Master of the Knights Templar, and sixty of his senior knights. …In British custom, hangings were held on Fridays, and there were 13 steps on the gallows leading to the noose.To combat the superstition, Robert Ingersoll and the Thirteen Club held thirteen-men dinners during the 19th Century. Successful? Hardly. The number still invokes trepidation to this day. A recent whimsical little serial killer study showed that the following murderers all have names that total thirteen letters: Theodore Bundy Jeffrey Dahmer Albert De Salvo John Wayne Gacy And, with a little stretch of the imagination, you can also fit “Jack the Ripper” and “Charles Manson” into that equation. More current-era paranoia: modern schoolchildren stop their memorization of the multiplication tables at 12. There were 13 Plutonium slugs in the atomic bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki. Apollo 13 wasn’t exactly the most successful space mission. All of these are things that modern triskaidekaphobes point to when justifying their fears. For some, 13 is an extremely fortuitous and auspicious number… …In Jewish tradition, God has 13 Attributes of Mercy. Also, there were 13 tribes of Israel, 13 principles of Jewish faith, and 13 is considered the age of maturity. …The ancient Egyptians believed that there were 12 stages of spiritual achievement in this lifetime, and a 13th beyond death. …The word for thirteen, in Chinese, sounds much like the word which means “must be alive”.Thirteen, whether you love it or loathe it, is a pretty cool number all around. …In some theories of relativity, there are 13 dimensions. …It is a prime number, lucky number, star number, Wilson Prime, and Fibonacci number….There are 13 Archimedean solids.AND… …There were 13 original colonies when the United States were founded.Says a lot about the US, doesn’t it? You can’t always prevent misfortune, but you can face it with courage, grace, strength and good humor. This is a blend of thirteen enlivening, bolstering, cheerful, strengthening oils against a backdrop of dark chocolate: Himalayan cedar, clove bud, champaca resin, ginger root, lemon peel, Madagascan vanilla, golden honey, High John the Conqueror root, black tobacco, oak leaf, saffron, smoky patchouli, and cognac.

We're aware that there's a checkout issue with Song of Creation -- working on getting it fixed asap! Thank you so much for your patience.

Happy Solstice, all! It's time four our fourth installment of #BPAL7wordstory. This time you'll be twisting Beth's nostrils with depictions of gluttony -- the best story will be enshrined in scent alongside our past winners. See our complete list of rules and terms, then proceed to stuff us in seven! You may submit your story to 7words@blackphoenixalchemylab.com, or by tweeting it @bpal with the hashtag #BPAL7wordstory. The deadline for this one is January 1st! Here are those previous winners: LUST“He breathed smoke across her pomegranate-stained lips.” - Deborah J. Brannon SLOTH“can’t commit to finishing a whole banana” - Amy DeNies WRATH“The poison worked slowly, to her delight.” - Miss Paulette

Hi everyone -- sorry for not posting sooner, but here are the cutoff dates we have set for guaranteeing delivery by Christmas: (Dates are by 12:01am PST. Gift certificates are not affected by the cutoffs, since they're sent by email.) BPAL Domestic cut-off December, 14th BPAL International December 8th for Australia/New Zealand, Asia/Pacific Rim, Mexico BPAL International December 10th Canada, Caribbean, Europe, Middle East BPAL International December 1st Africa, Central & South America We will hustle to fill these orders! Have a joyous holiday season, wherever you are.

Hello all, we're hoping you can join us for BPAL’s annual toy and canned food drive in Los Angeles! This year’s organizations are Spark of Love and Burbank Temporary Aid Center. For each bag of groceries ($20 value) you’ll receive one 5 ml bottle of CHOCOLATE SLUSH. For each toy (no plush please!) valued at $20, you’ll receive one 5ml bottle of CHERRY SUGAR COOKIE. Both scents are limited editions for this year’s donations only and are not for resale! Available while supplies last. (Because of the limited quantity, we implore you to be scrupulous about adhering to our requested donation value of $20.) In observance of the season, bedeck thyself in all things KRAMPUS! We'll be in our fuzzy finest, and invite you to dress as beastly as you please. We'll have info on the other Lunacy events soon! In the meantime, here's the FB event page where you can invite your friends and follow updates. https://www.facebook.com/events/1768125120103914/

Just a note to those who'd want to know: if "butter CO2 extract" is listed as a note in a scent, it is not vegan. We have updated our FAQ to reflect this: "With the exception of our honey-based products and CO2 Butter Extract, everything that comes from BPAL is vegan, and we abhor animal testing. Black Phoenix does not test on animals, and we do not work with companies that utilize animal testing. Black Phoenix is entirely cruelty-free, as our four dogs, many fish, and resident cat will attest. All products are tested on staff, family, and friends. Always double check the ingredients or contact our Customer Service before making a purchase if you are unsure of any components listed in an oil’s listings." We apologize for any confusion or disappointment this may have caused.

At long last, we finally get to sample the scent inspired by Miss Pauline’s prize-winning 7-word story: WRATH The poison worked slowly, to her delight. Bitter almond swirled into black patchouli, with red amber, rum absolute, and lemon peel.

At November's Lunacy event at the Lab, we’ll be raising funds to buy cell phone charging stations for Hope of the Valley Rescue Mission with the proceeds from our latest $26 fragrance: CACAO POD Blackened cacao, black sandalwood, coconut, and dark, sweet musk. Join us Nov. 21 from 6-9pm! Bring your food, clothing, and hygiene donations as well – those will be circulated to Burbank Temporary Aid Center and Drive-By Do-Gooders. The night's dress code is "Horns," so we'll all be celebrating in our pointiest attire, excited to stick up for a good cause (as it were). Won't you join us? There will also be sister-events in Georgia and Vermont, benefiting local charities. And now for the rest of those scents: ++ STARSTRUCK 2016 SAGITTARIUS Mutable fire: the essence of optimism. This is a perfume of energetic positivity, freedom, exploration, tolerant idealism, and spontaneity. This is the scent of the wandering philosopher, the fearless adventurer, and the outspoken activist. Rugged cedar and white pine, wise rowan and California white sage, soft mosses, well-worn leather, peppery tomato leaf, and fiery saffron. ++ SINGLE NOTE ROSE OF SHARON ++ A LITTLE LUNACY: MOONS OF JUPITER LYSITHEA