Failmingo

Howdy, all! I'll be traveling to NYC to sell our licensed Dr. Caligari (1989) perfumes at the Metrograph screening on March 4th, which will be the premiere of the film's full restoration. We'll have a little table in the lobby to vend before and after the screening. Tickets are available here: https://metrograph.com/film/?vista_film_id=9999003137 Due to our split with the house, we'll be selling these scents for $40 per bottle; later this spring they will debut on our website for $30. I figured at the very least, folks could come and test them all if they wanted to, so they know what to buy later on. If anyone has any questions about any of this in the meantime, please hit me up! Here's the full list of perfumes: TONGUE WALL Fleshy and fruity: guava musk, slick strawberry lip gloss, and blood-tainted digestive juices. CALIGARI A-GO-GO A fragrance inspired by the atmosphere and art direction of the film as a whole — its layers of grit and ooze, pop-art colors standing out against a starless void, clumps of debris, fake flowers, vials of mystery fluid, rumpled straitjackets and crisp lab coats. Green amber, jasmine bud, cotton blossom, eucalyptus, secondhand smoke, dirt, and petitgrain. I KNOW YOU’RE WATCHING ME The scent of full-blown nympho housewife hysteria: a smear of flushed, pearly skin musk splashed by a sophisticated vintage aldehyde perfume and drenched in the secretions of high-pitched arousal. DOOM CAKE A drug-induced vision of grabby, gore-slicked tentacles erupting from a facade of thick buttercream and lemon sponge soaked in cherry-flavored goo. CANNIBAL SOLILOQUY “I know what I am, but I know I’m not what I am. Beauty lives inside me. But oh, when beauty is trapped, it gets ugly…” A perfume worthy of a fading Tennessee Williams heroine wandering through a mirror-maze of memories, only slightly singed from too many Electro-Convulsive Therapy sessions: wafts of burning frankincense rising from a hot-seat occupied by duelling champaca orchids, white amber, Sicilian mandarin, and bergamot. SCARECROW BOYTOY A lusty, bubbling cauldron of thick, black tar spilling forth from a pile of dusty straw and secondhand clothes. XXX MEANS KISSES “Life imitates bad art.” A rare portrait of innocence and integrity amidst the corruption of Caligari’s asylum. Tart hibiscus, skin musk, shea, and the faintest whiff of nicotine. MINTY ON MY LIPS Even the brainiest femme fatale schemes are bound to collapse under the weight of a monstrous ego. The scent of defeat snatched from the jaws of success: a soft, satiny pink grapefruit punctured by a shiny metal drill bit.

Hello, everyone. You may have noticed in the Luper launch that the prices have been modestly increased to $29. A quick note about that! Please prepare for this to be the new standard. We're going to have to raise prices on a bunch of our existing licensed collaborations as well, since so much has changed since those original financial arrangements were made. As I wrote elsewhere yesterday: in a world where the prices of basically everything else go up, ours need to as well. Maintaining the quality of our product demands it, paying and insuring our employees demands it, and neither of those are negotiable expenses for us. Every time BPAL's prices have gone up, it's been long overdue and only as a last resort. It's terrible to imagine losing customers as a result of choosing to stay in business, but we've already dramatically cut expenses wherever possible, including fully uprooting and moving families and employees to a more affordable location (very expensive in the short term, but truly the Lab's only hope for continuing to exist). I recognize that just as we have to keep our heads above water, so do our customers, and so even small price increases may ripple through other folks' budgets and leave them with some difficult choices. Fragrance is a luxury product, and everyone will have different estimations of what that's worth. We want to keep our products accessible to as many folks as possible, for as along as possible, and for those products to be as pure and trustworthy as possible, and to contain as much artistry as possible. The figures associated with those goals rule our lives. I'm sure many of you can relate in your own way. Hopefully as a result of the move we'll be able to reorganize in ways that save money and forestall further price increases. But we gotta do what we gotta do, and will just keep trying to be worth the $$. I apologize for not informing you earlier, we were very deeply embedded in Luper land last week, and I wasn't aware until launch day that THIS was the time when the change would be taking place. If you see anyone asking about it, you're welcome to refer them to this post. TB

It's that time of year when BPAL fans collectively tilt their phones and monitors away from others' view so they can browse the Lupercalia collection in its full glory. This year's release is swollen to the point of bursting with scents crafted to stir the senses and awaken dormant desires. Here's everything that's included in the launch: 🫀 LUPERCALIA GENERAL CATALOG - A mix of classic Lupers and brand new enticements fresh from our laboratory https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/lupercalia-main-2023/ 🫀 SILK FLOWER BOUQUET - A romantic bundle of hyperchromatic fantasy florals which are realer than real https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/silk-flower-bouquet/ 🫀 CHERRY BOMB - A series of scent-note suitors lining up to meet-cute with variations on the cherished cherry https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/cherry-bomb-2023/ 🫀 BOX OF CHOCOLATES - Let your fingers wander over the shiny surfaces of these rich, sweet scents, selecting just the right one (or all nine) https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/box-of-chocolates-2023/ 🫀 RAUNCHY HEARTS - These aggressively explicit variations on candy heart messages are sure to start a few conversations — or perhaps abruptly end them! Gutter sweets aren't for everyone. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lupercalia-2023/raunchy-hearts/ 🫀 SHUNGAS 2023: NOVEL IDEAS FOR SECRET AMUSEMENTS - Each year our fondness for historical Edo-era erotic art overflows into a massive perfume collection highlighting our latest faves. This year we've managed to include some Hair Gloss blends as well! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/novel-ideas-for-secret-amusements-2023/

Hi everyone, we've been invited by local Philly folks at Jinxed to contribute to their Heartshow art event, which is also a fundraiser for Lutheran Settlement House! The event is this Saturday evening, Feb 11th, from 5-9pm. Naturally there will be a perfume oil crafted exclusively for that night — 100% of the proceeds from this scent will be donated to the aforementioned cause. Here's what we've got for the crowd that night: HEARTSHOW Cherrywood, red amber, and red musk with a smidge of vein-blue cotton candy.

Hallo, here's our latest attempt to get back on schedule: the elusive November Lunacy scents, plus the latest iteration of 13. Are you feeling lucky, punks? https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/november-2022/ https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/13-perfume-oil-6/ "Help steel your nerve in the upcoming year with this earthy blend of 13 symbols of luck and stability steeped in smoked cacao: purple sage, lavender bud, patchouli, Irish moss, thyme, ambrette seed, chocolate mint, rice milk, vetiver, hazelnut, barley, tobacco, and cedar."

This one sneaked up on me, y'all. I haven't given all the Snows a proper sniff yet, and history has shown it's not a scent type I'm particularly predisposed to love, but I'm always keeping an open mind. In the bottle it's cool without being minty exactly, fresh without being too mineralic or zesty, and the sweetness of the musk stands out perfectly. I have a hard time tracking musks sometimes, I don't think my nose always receives what they're broadcasting, but this one is framed so well by the other elements that it's unmistakable. Lilac is another of those notes that I'd have a hard time picking out of a lineup all by itself, and it's a delicate part of this brew -- the perfume doesn't read as "floral" but the lilac element definitely contributes to my overall enjoyment of this blend in a delicately balanced way. I don't know whether "citron" refers to the evergreen plant or its fruit, but there is definitely some kind of evergreen property to this. The citrus is dryyyyy, the only sense of juiciness or humidity seems to come from something cold and lushly green. My mental picture is of appraising an overnight snowfall early the next morning: the delicate stillness, the softness of the color palette, the vapors exhaled by the trees as the first light hits them. Overall the blend smells very fancy to me, and reads even less like a masculine cologne than the original Whitechapel did. Something about dragging it out into nature (thematically) and letting it freeze overnight has lent it an especially otherworldly charm, like a forest fairy prince who can't be counted on to ever fully warm up to you -- and might imprison you in a hollow tree if the two of you ever really hit it off. It lasts quite a while on me, and the scent remains pretty stable from first dab till the last gasp, though I'd say it's the musk that dies last, and that harder edge of frostiness is what melts away first. Still though, a total triumph and complete surprise -- upon first reading the list of stuff that got Snow-ified, this was not the one that leaped out at me.

Hallo hallo, we have gone ahead and done something rather rash and reckless: we just launched a little NYE perfume series inspired by weird old cards! And ALSO added a Strawberry Buttercream Sufganiyot scent to the Yules (as we originally intended to). Happy New Year from our strange little workaholic family, may these provide some fond winter jollies during the cold months ahead. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/new-years-creepers-oddments https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/yule-2022/strawberry-buttercream-sufganiyot-perfume-oil/

WE DID IT! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/yule-2022/ Here's everything the update contains: ❄️ Yule General Catalog • Old friends, new friends! ❄️ Carved Wooden Holiday Village • A series of woody fragrances to be enjoyed and rearranged year after year ❄️ Cranberry Bog • It turns out you can teach an old bog new tricks! ❄️ Creepo Yuletide Greetings • Perfumes inspired by a series of strange old greeting cards that we'd love to send and receive ❄️ Snow On Snow, Snow On Snow • BPAL's classic SNOW WHITE fragrance casts a frosty spell over a series of General Catalog scents ❄️ The Cake Boys • A special yuletide sponsorship scent for these NYC pals, a troupe of drag kings and alternative queer & trans performers • https://www.cakeboykings.com/ ❄️ Santa Doesn't Need Your Help • A fragrance crafted to accompany the entertaining new Christmas storybook by Kevin Maher and Joe Dator ❄️ Yule Hair Gloss • Gloss your hairs!

I'm not JUST here to tease you with glimpses of the Yule update (which we're hard at work on!), but to help pace expectations related to holiday shopping. As in the past few years, there's basically NO guarantee that we can ship these brand new scents in time for Christmas. The world is chaos, the postal system is slammed, and the new facility is operating with a decidedly NON-ginormous skeleton crew. If you really, really want gifty 'fumes to arrive in time for Christmas, you basically have two options. Firstly, you can order now, TODAY, from the vast array of amazing options that are already in stock on our website. Yeah, I know, boringgggggggg, but still. That is the safest path to order fulfillment ahead of Dec. 25th, and we greatly appreciate the business. The second option is more of a wish and a prayer, and that involves including a note IN THE COMMENTS OF YOUR ORDER that it's a gift and you really need it by Christmas, and we'll do our best (still no promises!) to prioritize it. No, these two options aren't mutually exclusive. Also, the second option won't really work if people are grinchy and use that trick to hasten their regular orders for themselves, will it? So there's a bit of an honor system thing going on, and others' Christmas dreams are likely to count on you (YES, YOU) being honorable. And as is my annual custom, I'll also drop a mention of our Gift Certificates, which are available in any amount and will allow people to find and discover their own 'fumes at their own pace. You can buy those right up till the last minute, since they are delivered via email! The perfume teased below is slated as a fundraiser scent for Transanta, an org we've posted about on Instagram that shares gift registries for young trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming folks who can't count on receiving gender-affirming gifts (or any at all) from their families this Christmas. That's a great place to do a little shopping while you wait for us to finish up: https://www.instagram.com/transanta/ I'm figuring the Yule collection will go live next week? That's all I know! Thanks, friends, and hugs. We're really trying.

Okay, contrary to what I said elsewhere, we have indeed managed to restock a few more LE's! It felt important to get the word out, so folks can still pounce on the Free Gift imps if they haven't already. Cherry Red Oct 33rd The Shadowed Veil Samhain Every Day is Halloween Lightning Strikes Literature Apple Macchiato A Sorceress Sorry for the mixed messages, we really are just off-roading through this stuff because of the move.

Hey y'all, we managed a quick and dirty (read: unplanned) restock of the recent SCHRODINGER'S CHECKMARK release, just in time for Cyber Monday, which means you can access our Free Gift imps if you order it today. Kablam! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/schrdingers-checkmark-perfume-oil/

We've whipped up something special for Black Friday weekend! Anyone who spends $15 or more at BPAL from Fri. Nov. 25th through Mon. Nov. 28th will find the following trio of 1/32 oz. perfume oils tucked into their order: 🥧 BLUEBERRY BANANA CREAM PIE 🥧 CARAMELIZED PECAN RUM CAKE 🥧 GINGER CAKE WITH QUINCE AND ORANGE ZEST These perfumes are impossible to obtain any other way, will be given out while supplies last, and should under no circumstances be tasted, nibbled, or otherwise ingested. Thanks for supporting a small business during your holiday shopping, it means the world to us!

Hello, very pleased to announce that it's Lunacy time once more. And to thank everyone for being so marvelously patient and supportive during our move (which is still ongoing!) we've made sure to sprinkle this launch with some special standalone Limited Edition stuff. Enjoy! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/late-october-2022

Boo! Looks like we've managed a Spoopy Kid restock. Due to the move we're stuck doing this pretty much on a case-by-case, catch-as-catch-can basis. Thank you for rolling with it! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/lilith-2022/spoopy-kid-assaulted-by-a-sunbeam-perfume-oil/

We blew it when we launched the 'Weenies, accidentally omitting PUMPKIN RUM CAKE. We've launched the scent to coincide with the sniff vid in which we sampled it -- link to the perfume is in the caption. Thank you, and apologies once again!

Halloween has a magic that transcends season, and we have bottled it for year-round enjoyment. This year's perfume collection is finally here! 🎃 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/halloween-2022 Contained therein, you'll find... 🎃 A bounty of General Catalog 'Weenie scents — some old, some new! 🎃 Ginormous Yard Skeleton — four perfumes inspired by the stages of acquiring this contemporary spooky-season staple 🎃 Bobbing For Apples — our mind may be in the gutter with these variations on BPAL classics, but at least we get a healthy snack! 🎃 Pile of Leaves — the Lab's time-honored Dead Leaves accord has returned to imbue the air around you with a distinctive crackle 🎃 Witches, Sorceresses, and Sorceries in Art History — a sinister museum tour painted in scent 🎃 Lightning Strikes — three variations on BPAL's classic Lightning fragrance, created in collaboration with PS Publishing to celebrate the release of their new non-fiction book about The Bride of Frankenstein 🎃 Persephone's Bounty — a wealth of autumnal pomegranate perfumes

A beautiful new (old) hardcover book, postcard set, and accompanying fragrance by BPAL! BEAUTIFUL MACABRE: SALOME "Sensual, undulating veils of wild plum, sweet aged patchouli, cardamom seed, myrrh, red labdanum, vanilla bourbon absolute, saffron, and leather-touched incense."

This Saturday morning at 9am Pacific, we'll be dropping another small batch of candles — small, as in under ten of EACH of the following fragrances. Truly first come, first served, at this link! Thank you for giving them good homes. BLOOD JASMINE EMBALMING FLUID GRAVEYARD DIRT POMEGRANATE PATCHOULI VETIVER SUGARED ABSINTHE

[No additional description provided.] In the bottle all of the above listed notes kind of smash on the nose equally. The effect is similar to a drink I'd order at a Manhattan cocktail bar that would probably cost as much as this bottle -- a spicy pineapple margarita with smoked salt. IMMEDIATELY on the skin the notes fall into rank, with the pineapple's sweetness soaring high above the others, and the dead leaves effectively blanketing the patchouli and vetiver so they're muffled to a dull roar. This is among the least "dead leaves-y" blends from the collection IMO, probably because the pineapple note takes it in a direction one doesn't associate with "autumn." Ten minutes after applying, I'm getting a sort of dead leaves reverb effect whenever I go to sniff, which suggests that note will last on the skin long after the bright, sunny pineapple has perished. Brava!

This year, we've released our Lilith/Fatherhood collection simultaneously with the HARVEST MOON Lunacy. For reasons! Those reasons are not important, but notifying you about these perfumes certainly is: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/lilith-2022 https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/september-2022-lunacy Our video announcement is below!

We're still cleaning out the Lab's old facility ahead of our move, and have returned with another round of rare mistakes, misadventures, and various oddities. Those have been updated here: https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-category/the-purge/ Also, it looks like we had enough leftovers from LAST year's Dragon Con to constitute a lil mini-release of those perfumes. Get 'em while they're hot, hot, hot! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/virtualcon-2021/

Hello, I'm here to inform you that our August Lunacy offerings have arrived! And please note that we've included a few of our "clearing out the Lab" scents as well, blended by mistake but released on purpose: CHOCOLATE DOOBSICLE LAVENDER BUTTERCREAM SUPPOSED TO BE A PRETZEL BUT SMELLS MORE LIKE POPCORN, SO... https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/august-2022

The new Sphere + Sundry drop celebrating Exalted Venus contains four incredible new perfume blends capitalizing on a particularly benevolent astrological conjunction. Brief descriptions below! https://sphereandsundry.com/product-category/series/exalted-venus-ii/ CONDOLEO "A sweet, comforting oil: a balm for despair, a heart-healer, and a catharsis." SQUAMA "This oil was crafted as a protection from the ravages of personal and global grief by enabling you to keep an open heart, letting the darkness of the world pass through you without injuring you. Squama assists in helping you remain able to acknowledge and process pain with eyes that remain open and hearts that remain open while enabling you to continue to react with love to yourself and to others no matter how dark the world may become." POMPILUS "Loosely inspired by remoras, this oil will assist you in befriending those who – at first glance – may seem to be your enemies, in finding (and charming) unexpected allies, and in guiding you to your destinations (literal, spiritual, and metaphorical) in safety." LEPOS "An oil of effervescent charm, quirky humor, captivation, and enchantment. The allure of the odd, the magnetism of Poe’s 'strangeness in the proportion,' the amplification and cultivation of the strange things about you that make you uniquely lovely." Available for $45 each, or as a full set for $180

Now that CRANE MOON and the rest of the July offerings are here, please remember: in a week we'll be taking down Lupercalia, Yule, and all the other stuff we've been warning about for a bit now. Do with that information what you will! https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/product-tag/july-2022/

Welp, we've just released a new perfume to raise emergency veterinary funds for the Barrials' littlest, Maggie, who is in trouble now due to complications from her spay surgery. Obviously the timing couldn't be worse for them; we're dropping a special LE in hopes that it will help ease this unforeseen financial burden. (As Beth writes on the product page, any additional funds raised will be donated to https://redrover.org/. Thank you all so much for your support during such a delicate time. And on a personal note, I'd like to request that folks give the Barrials some space to take care of things in this sensitive moment -- they really shouldn't be deluged with messages and notifications during their special gal's time of need. https://blackphoenixalchemylab.com/shop/limited-edition/margaret-magdalena-muffinhead-perfume-oil/ MARGARET MAGDALENA MUFFINHEAD "Miss Margaret Magdalena is a chocolate lab baby so her perfume is a thick, smoky fudge brownie scent with a heavy handful of coffee beans. She has golden eyes with a hint of green, so I added a bit of caramelized amber and green cardamom."