Eoywin

Todd and I keep our money separate, and we have never wanted to merge our money, even after we got married. Well, I mentioned in my lj yesterday that he had lent me some money for my new glasses, and that got one of my lj friends up in arms. Apparently we are 'less' married, because when you are married you must have your money combined. The lj friend even went to recommend a book to 'help' us with our problem. This pissed me off, because our way of dealing with money works for us, and how dare someone who doesn't know us judge? Well, I posted a pissy vent in one of the lj marriage communities, in which someone responded that she also thought we must merge our money, since marriage is about 2 people becoming 1, and therefore married people must never have separate money. GRRRR!

This smelled to me just like fresh baked caramel popcorn. So yummy!!

I've been a Christian since I was born. My dad was Lutheran from birth, and my mom basically converted from Lutheran in name to Lutheran in practice. I believe in the Christian God, and have had those 'whoa, he's touching my soul' moments. But, I have some beliefs that rather go against some ideals that some Christians have. I know there are ghosts, and I believe in magic and the possibilty of other gods and goddesses (I've never had a 'whoa' moment with any other deity, but I'm not discounting their existance) - if I ever get some time to devote to it, I'd love to be able to research / learn more about some pagan paths. And I really, really want to learn how to read tarot cards. My mom looked at my horoscope when I was born, and it said something to the effect I would be very religious. She always took that to be Christian religious, which I have been for the most part. Heck, I seriously toyed with the idea of becoming a Pastor when I was in college. But I have to wonder sometimes if that meant something beyond the Christian religion.

We got a new kitty yesterday!

Well, I do think merging is okay for some people. But it's so not okay for us... Once I change my name, I'm going to get a credit card solely in my name, partly to help rebuild my credit. Right now, the only credit cards we have are in his name... but I don't really foresee us having any joint credit cards every either.

Their whole arguement on this was, when you are married the Bible says 'Two become one'. Now I'm a Christian, but I don't think that Todd and I are one person now. (I have an image of a huge Mandy/Todd monster in my head ) We are still are own people, and we are a family, but we need to do what works for us. The post that started all of this said that marriage is about merging people (becoming 1 person), and is not a joint venture.

That's what I think... combining money for me and Todd would be very, very bad I just hate judgemental people, who think their way is the only way.

I've about had it with work this week. It's been hard and stressful, and I'm getting all stressed out which is giving me a headache. What's going on today it V-8 badness. V-8 is the new turbo that is going to make or break us, and right now everything is all fucked up. Today alone I've dealt with inventory issues, quality issues, capacity issues (which is something purchasing should have done something with a long time ago) - all are things that could shut the line down, and shutting the line down is very, very, very bad. With things as bad as they are with the V-8 program, I'm a little worried because both Todd and I work there. I'm beginning to wonder if it's time to look for a new job. I really don't want to look for a new job, because I really do like my job. It's not that hard, but it's busy and hectic enough to keep me occupied during the day. And I hate looking for a new job... hate it with a passion. The reasons to look for a new job is the temp. thing (I can't get my boss to stand still for 5 minutes to give him updates on parts, let alone have time to take about my tempness.), and of course, the badness with the V-8 program. It's got to slow down and get more stable eventually, but it's hard right now. I'm going to talk to Todd about it, and try and find some time to pin my boss down to talk to him about the temp. issue. If I was given a date when I'd be hired in (even if it was still a while off), I'd stay. I make decent money, so that's another reason to stay. Things might get worse before they get better though. I have two co-workers who are also temps, and one has been seriously looking for another job for a couple of weeks now. I shudder to think what things would be like if we didn't replace her right away. She has over 70 vendors! I'm just torn... and really tired

I have a cat named Star, and we've had him since March. I love my cat very much, so I'm worried how he is going to react when we bring home another kitten. We briefly had another pet, a puppy back in March, and that did not go well. Star and the puppy did not get along. We didn't take the puppy back because of that, it was because the puppy bit Todd in the face, and kept going for our faces. So, since then Star has been the king of the house (pet-wise anyway ). Now that the wedding is over, we are going to get another cat. I want a kitten since I think it will adjust better if it's younger. But I'm not sure how Star is going to act. He's going to have to get used to having other pets around (Todd wants us to have 2 cats and 2 dogs eventually), but I've been kinda dragging my feet on getting the new kitten.

A couple more pictures - from our reception this time:

Thanks! Todd did help a lot with the decorations. The pumpkins were my idea, and I found the idea for the banners online. It was a lot of work, but saved us a lot of money in the long run. The cake was beautiful and so yummy. I loved my wedding cake!

Purple was one of our wedding colors - since it's Todd's favorite color. I'll post more when I get home from work since my sister in law sent me some pictures

Here's some pictures of the things we bought or made for the wedding:

I was never popular in school - I was too geeky, shy and quiet to be popular. Most of the time I was okay with that, but sometimes I longed to be noticed. I'm not liked at work because I don't smoke. Nearly all my co-workers smoke, and take smoke breaks together. I try to engage them in conversation, but they don't really seem all that interested because they are at totally different phases of their life. I don't have a lot of friends, and the several attempts I've made to make new friends since moving to NC have failed for reasons that are unknown to me. I miss when I did have a group of friends - my last year of college was the only time I've felt vaguely popular. I was in a larp group on campus, and was friends with most of the people who played. The group was very large (nearly 40 people at one point) and I felt liked and wanted. Now my wedding is less than a month away, and I'm keenly aware that I have no friends coming. My sister has more friends attending my wedding than I do. I feel sad because I wish I had someone to go shopping with and do girly type things, but more often than not when I reach out to someone to be their friend they just don't seem interested.

I came to a realization yesterday, after emailing back and forth with my sister. My family is so absorbed in their own lives, that they couldn't give two shits about my wedding (and me). My sister doesn't want to do anything that will put her out in the least (like sleeping on the floor for one night - the night before my wedding), and thinks that my gameplan for the wedding day is dumb. Oh, and she thinks is stupid to have my MIL be our hair dresser (she's really quite good, and free). My sister and I have never gotten along, since we are like night and day. She was the one obssessed with popularity in high school, where I was the shy, quiet, geeky girl. My sister has also never grown out of the phase where she thinks she is always right (therefore, I'm always wrong). My dad changed a lot after my mom died, which is to be expected. Except he changed into someone who is very self-absorbed. He made my life more miserable when my headaches first started, because I was living at home, and he'd wouldn't believe that I was feeling as sick as I did. He'd goad me into fights, even though he'd know that if I got too upset and cried too much, it would trigger a migraine-worthy headache that would land me in the hospital. He got married in June, and doesn't really bother with me anymore. He'll call if he wants something, but that's it. He'll go with his wife to Philly to visit her daugther (they have done this several times in the last year), but he has yet to come and visit me. Plus he ditched me when we were moving, to meet his now wife for the first time. That really hurt, because I really needed his help. I'm not a selfish person. I'd do anything for my friends, but this quality seems to be a rare one, and one that drives people away. I used to have a group of friends, but they all decided enmasse that they didn't want to be friends with me. Apparently, asking them to call or email once a month or so, so I didn't always have to be the one calling / emailing / visiting was too much for them. I would have done anything for them, because they were my friends, but instead all they did was ditch me and hurt me, and then say horrible things on lj after I said I no longer wanted to be friends with them. So, for some reason people don't like me. I have two friends now, but we aren't super close. I've really tried to make new friends, but I haven't been sucessful in the least. Now that I realize that my family really doesn't want that much to do with me either, I have to wonder why I'm such an undesirable person to be around.

On the way into work this morning, I heard about the foiled terrorist plot that has shut down the big airport in London, and has made changes come about even over here, about what you can or cannot have in a carryon. This makes me very nervous when I think about flying again. I'm really hoping to talk Todd out of flying to Disney, since it would be a waste of money. But, we are going to have to fly, when we go to Europe in 2008. This whole thing also effects my job, as parts from overseas are air freighted in. I even have a supplier in England, and the parts I get from there are air freighted from London. I'm glad that I wasn't needing a shipment to go out today, and hopefully the airport will be back in business soon. Now, on to bridezillas! There is a show on WE that is called 'Bridezillas'. I tape it every Sunday night, and usually watch it on Monday. A lot times the brides that are featured on the show, are being unreasonable and overly stressing themselves out, but usually calm down once the ceremony is over. Not the girl on last Sunday's episode. She was pissed off her entire wedding day. She had a pretty decent reason to be pissed (her in-laws were late, causing her wedding to start an hour and a half late), but I would hate to be that bride and look back at the video and see how unhappy I was on my wedding day. Yes, I'm pretty stressed out over everything right now (though honestly work is more a stressor than the wedding right now), but I'm going to be happy and enjoy my special day. And I don't think I've ever been as unreasonable as the brides on 'Bridezilla'.

I feel like a missed the boat sometimes. I was always a late bloomer, so that's probably why I'm 'late' to getting married, and thusly will be 'late' having kids.

Or at the very least, a lazy one. I used to keep records of who got who in each swap... but the last few ones, I've gotten lazy. Mostly because my free time is pretty limited, so I quickly try and get everyone's assignments out quick as possible... and sometimes I do that at work. From now on, I'll have to keep that information... I feel badly about not having it for the several swaps in motion right now. Thank goodness I don't really have any swaps between now and the wedding (though I'll probably start the Halloween card signups before I leave for the wedding).

Today would have been my mom's 55th birthday if she was alive, and it's Todd's 31st birthday, so I feel a bit conflicted. I find a bit creepy that my mom and my husband have the same birthday. Mostly because he never met her, and we didn't start dating until after she died. Birthdays are a big deal to me, so I try and make the people I love's birthday a little special. This weekend, I took Todd out to eat and to the movies. He doesn't really like birthdays, so that's about all the fuss he'll let me make Today I'm taking him out to lunch, and finishing his cake (I was too tired to frost it last night).

It could be the time of year, but I've been feeling sad and unwanted the last couple of days. Sadness comes from the fact, mostly, that my dad has sold my childhood home. I'm a little sad that I haven't been there since April 2005, and I won't see it before he sells it. And of course my mom's deathday (and birthday) coming up very soon makes me sad too. The unwanted comes from wanting to go to various meet and sniffs, but not feeling like anyone really wants me to come. Of course, not getting enough sleep and having to come to work on a Saturday leads to these feelings as well.

Todd and I are friends with another married couple, A & J. They are pretty much my only friends thus far in Asheville. We get along with them rather well, and every Sunday night we go to their house to role play. When we started last fall, J was the storyteller. Well, a couple of months ago, A started to run a game. She hadn't really run a campaign before, so we all have tried to cut her some slack. Except J gets pissed at something she does nearly every week she runs. They get into a fight nearly every week. Yesterday, A was busy with my character, because my character ran away from the rest of the group. Well, J was pissed that A didn't ask what he was doing, even though he could have easier said "I'm doing this and this" which is what Todd and I would have done if the scene at the time wasn't focused on our characters. So, J pouted and picked up his gameboy. And then A posted in her lj that she felt like she was the most horrible storyteller ever, because she did badly. Their dramamongering makes me feel like rolling my eyes. They need to realize that it's just a game. Unfortunely, they take these games really seriously! I really need to find some more friends in Asheville, or maybe another game to play in.

When Todd gave me the choice of Vegas or Disney World, the choice was easy. Disney! I really wanted to go back to Disney World as an adult. I'd been there twice before - once when I was 7, and once when I was 16. But Todd's been there 4 times (the last time he was about 17), so he always said he didn't want to go back there. Todd pretty much made my birthday this past year into Todd's Day (he bought a truck for himself, and got a dog I didn't even want on the day we were suppose to celebrate my birthday - he was suppose to plan something special for us to do, and obviously didn't), so I think he wants to make it up to me... so that means I get my trip to Disney World! We are also going to do something he likes - his favorite wrestling company, TNA, tapes their weekly show at Universal Studios in Florida, so we will be getting tickets to go see that. Plus we plan on spending a day at Universal anyway, since I've never been. All in all, I'm really excited. It's going to be a wonderful mini-honeymoon. Unfortunely, my mind always goes to my headaches when I think about doing fun stuff. I will have to make sure I have plenty of time to rest, so I don't get worn out and hurting. I have good days and bad days when it comes to my headaches. Today is a bad day, because the pain is hard to ignore. It's a cold pack day, and I worry that I don't have enough to get me through the whole day. Plus, Todd's still sick, so I'll have to go home and do housework, instead of resting myself

Thanks I doubt it would be more crowded... I think the prime times to go are over the holidays and in the summer, since it is a place for families. October school is in full swing, so I doubt it's a big vacation time. I'm sure it will be crowded, but hopefully not overly so. I'm really excited