Eoywin

I feel slightly bad, and greedy... but I love presents! I, of course, got a lot of neat things for my bridal shower this past weekend, but it sucks because I couldn't taken hardly anything back with me because I was flying and only had a large-ish duffel bag (I didn't want to mess with checking luggage in). Luckily, my sister had the foresight to just mail my presents, and put pictures in the card she gave me. So I have a brand new spice rack (with spices in it!) and a 4 canister set (which I plan on putting flour and sugar in two of them). Todd is home sick (he's got a nasty stomach bug), and emailed me that we had a package. I called him, and had him open it while I was on the phone (work is dull, I wanted a little excitement ) We are now the proud owners of a 6 mixing bowl set! It was sent by someone who couldn't make my shower. I really hope people send us wedding presents in the mail, so we don't have to haul all the presents back from Michigan... and because I love packages with presents in them!

I'm in the 'grow my hair out because I want an updo for the wedding' phase. I so long to chop it off... I hate long hair.

I'm flying to Michigan tomorrow... and I'm really getting nervous about it. The last time I fly was May 2000 when we took our last family vacation to Arizona, so it was before 9/11. And this is the first time I will be flying by myself. I'm an adult, and such, but being by myself and flying is starting to freak me out. I'm afraid that I won't find my gate, I'm afraid I'll miss my flight when I have my layover, and I'm afraid no-one will be there to meet me. I hope it turns out better than I'm thinking!

I'm sure you are right... I checked and if my plane gets to Detroit on time, I'll have a little over an hour before my next plane takes off. I wouldn't stop for food anyway, I'm that paranoid *L*

As I was adding up numbers today, I began to think about math. I know lots of kids piss and moan to their parents about how they will never use math, and such. I use math every day, at least at work. Of course, I do have my handy dandy calculator to help me out. But the more I thought about it, I realized we use math in play too. If I didn't know how to add and multiply, I'd have no idea how much damage I did to the bad guys in the roleplaying campaign I play in.

I live in haunted house... or more to the point, I pee in a haunted bathroom. For the first few months we lived in the house, nothing weird happened. It was just a plain ole house. But a few months ago, I noticed that the bathroom door would swing shut by itself, even if there was no air (like ac or a window open) running through the house. I thought it was rather weird, but didn't think much of it. Well, it stopped for a while, but started back up again recently. I remarked to Todd that I thought the bathroom was haunted, and he looked at me and said "I was just going to say that." Luckily, I don't get a bad vibe from the ghost, and he/she doesn't really bother me. Pretty much all he/she does is close the bathroom door.

I wouldn't want he/she/it to help out with that... that would freak me out Plus, I like to have the door open when I'm home alone and it's creepy to watch the door slowly close

I know I tend focus on the bad stuff sometimes, so I thought I'd list some good stuff that has happened in the last day or so. - Mailed out 99% of the wedding invitations last night! The remaining 5 or so, are Todd's friends, and it's up to him to get the addresses. I wanted the rest to go out now, so people have a chance of having their wedding invitation before the shower. - Had an awesome time at game last night. We had a very long game session yesterday, and it was one of the most fun games I've played. I'm really interested to see where it goes. - My friend, Carly, is coming to my shower!! I'm so excited! - Getting a manicure this coming Friday - since my plane is arriving in Saginaw at noon, we are going to have a bunch of time to kill before my bach. party, so my aunt and I will be going to the mall to get manicures That's pretty much it for now.. I'm going to try and relax tonight -I'm going to get me some Panera Bread (French Onion soup is my sicky comfort food) and watch some 7th Heaven and Live Action Sailor Moon.

I haven't slept well for a week or so now, so I'm nodding off at my desk (boring spreadsheet assignments doesn't help this at all!). Plus, since I'm still feeling pretty sad, that makes me feel even sleepy-er. I am amused by the new BPAL fanfic, though I think the first one is still the best. It was so funny! I hope this new one is fun though. I hope my Lotus Moon order gets here soon... I could use some smellies to cheer me up.

I wonder why I don't have any friends and no-one seems to like me? Truthfully, I whine a lot more online than I do in real life, but I still seem to not be able to attract any friends at all. If something happens to Todd, I'd have no-one, since my family doesn't really care either. I'm sure if I didn't make an effort to stay in touch, they'd never call me. My cousin is even ditching me the weekend of my shower to go to a Tigers game, which really makes me sad. I'm not going to be able to come back to Michigan very often, and she decides that she would rather go watch a baseball game in Detroit than hang out with me. I know now why my bach. party was moved from Saturday night to Friday night. Sorry, I'm just feeling very sick today, which makes me sad and depressed.

I'm tired and cranky, and I did a horrible thing. I bitched to Todd about his parents, about things I thought he agreed with, and now seemingly he is angry with me. So, now I'm crying at work, and I just feel like the world's most horrible person. The worst thing, is I won't really get to talk to him until Friday, because our differing schedules, and I have no friends to really vent to. I'm just worn out, tired, and seemingly everyone (including Todd) thinks I shouldn't be. Planning a wedding by yourself is hard, and my job is hard and stressful too. But no-one thinks that I need or deserve a break, which is what this past weekend was suppose to be..

My inlaws are driving me insane. I like them and all, but I hope they don't come back to visit for a long, long, long time. My mother in law tends to be really, really, really judgemental, and tries taking over things. She basically took over the bbq yesterday. She also took the wallpaper off in our bedroom (which I should add, I did quite a bit of myself), and primer-ed and painted that wall. Well, splaking (I have no idea how to spell that this morning) took place because there was a bunch of holes in the wall, and yesterday she tried to vacum up the splakle (sp?). Well, the vacum started to smoke, and she decided that it wasn't because she vacumed up the splakle, but because we hadn't changed the bag on it. We have hard wood floors, and only really use one room with carpet, so we don't need to vacum that often. But she proceded to bitch about it the rest of the evening (she also vacummed our hard wood floors, which pissed Todd off to the point that he unplugged the vacum) Plus their idea of cleaning is driving me nuts too. This includes Todd's grandmother too. I had to move stuff around in the kitchen because they put it away wrong (which isn't that big of a deal, but I'm wearing thin on patience because of tiredness). And what took the cake was this morning, at 6:30 am, I was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I went to comb my hair, and my comb was no where to be found. I keep a comb in the shower, for combing my hair out in the shower, and that's where both my combs were! Why in the world would I need two combs in the shower? It really irritated me. Plus, because of them being here, I haven't slept well since Sunday, so I'm exhausted. This is honestly the last thing I needed right now. What I need is a break, but instead I got a long weekend of being irritated and exhausted. Yesterday wasn't all bad. Our friends, Alice and Josh came over for the bbq, and I'm soooo glad that they did. We talked and watched tv, until it was time to eat, then we ate. Afterwards, we played quite a few games of 'Apples to Apples', then attempted to play Trival Pursuit - the 90's edition, but ran out of time. We headed over to Alice and Josh's place around 9, because we were going to watch the Lake Julian fireworks. But it started downpouring, thundering and lightening while we were driving over there, so Todd & I decided that we would just go home (after we went to their house and told them) because even if it stopped storming in time to have the fireworks, the ground would still probably be wet, and it wouldn't be that fun. I was pretty bummed out though, I was looking forward to seeing the fireworks. My inlaws are suppose to be leaving by 4 today, and I hope to God they are gone by the time I get home from work.

First, an update on the grey kitty. Our neighbors are currently renting the house next to us, but are looking for a house to buy. They are currently feeding the grey kitty, and planning on taking it to the vet, and taking it with them when they move. They don't have any pets, and they are rather nice, so it's for the best, since Todd and I don't have time to introduce a new pet into our house. We spent nearly the entire weekend cleaning, so our house is as clean as it's ever been, and we are now completely unpacked. Of course, Todd's parents brought him a bunch of crap with them, but he'll have to deal with that. They also brought our kitchen table, which I'm geeked to have. I have to go to Target today anyway, so I'll get a cool 4th of July table cloth. I'm at work right now, then hopefully I can finish the wedding invitations today (did a ton yesterday after the cleaning) and kinda relax since I'm rather tired. Our BBQ is tomorrow, so hopefully that will be fun!

I have a cat, his name is Star. When we bought our house in February, one of the first things we wanted to do was get pets. I got Star from a shelter in early March, then Todd brought home a dog the day before my birthday, which is near the end of March. The dog didn't work out, because it ended up biting Todd in the face (and trying to bit me), so Star has been our only pet since March. Well, in the last week or two, there has been the cutest grey kitten hanging around our house. We think it was someone's pet, and they just let the kitty out, and didn't go after it. The grey kitty is very friendly, and nearly followed me in the house yesterday. I expressed to Todd last weekend that I would love to 'adopt' the grey kitty, since he needs a home. Well, last night, I had a nightmare, so I got up to get the nintendo so I could play a bit of Mario before going back to sleep. In the process, I got to talk to Todd for a few minutes, and he said "If you want to bring the grey kitty in, you can". This surprised me, because Todd isn't really a cat person (though he adores Star), and Star won't be happy in the least if we bring another cat (or pet in general) in the house. So, I'm not sure what to do.

Thanks - it looks like our neighbors (who don't have any pets) are going to take in the grey kitty, which is fine, because I really don't have time to deal with introducing a new cat to the house. And thanks... I'll be glad when they are gone!

I'd probably do that... this weekend would not be the best time to do any new kitty stuff. My inlaws are coming to visit until Wednesday Plus, I haven't seen the grey kitty for a couple of days, though my husband says he has

Star is two years old... I think he'd adjust fine. We are having a house full of company this weekend, which will put Star out of whack anyway, so I'm not sure I'd want to bring the new kitty in this weekend.

Todd asked me to be his girlfriend. And I'm usually good about remembering stuff like that, but I didn't remember until about 5 minutes ago. This is proof my brain is turning into mush.

Since my brain is completely tuned to everything weddings, I thought I would post some pictures of the stuff for my upcoming wedding. Our engagement picture Pictures of my dress! My cake topper My University of Michigan garter My guest book The label I made to put on our bubbles My invitations This is what my flowers will look like The start of my centerpieces My favors

I think I'm becoming a Bridezilla I keep having wedding related breakdowns, and I just want it to stop! I snapped at Todd last night, and freaked out when he said that he oops'ed and didn't put a stamp on one of the response cards (I thought he had said 'some'). I really stressed out... there isn't enough time to relax or veg, and since my in-laws are coming to visit over the 4th, I won't have any days off until Labor Day. I had been looking forward to the 4th, but now I'm not. Originally I had hoped to do all the invitations during the two days we have off, but now I have to be the hostess with the mostess for my in-laws. It makes me tired and crabby just thinking about it.

When I was in college, this is how my typical Saturday would go. I'd be up at 4 am, so I could be to work at 5 am (I worked at McDonald's). I would work until about noon, then I'd head home. I've veg around the house until about 3:30, then it would be time to get ready for the LARP (live action role play). We would LARP from about 5 until midnight, and then we would go to Lil Chef or Shoney's for food. Afterwards, sometimes a group of people would end up at my townhouse, and we talk until 4 am. I wonder sometimes how I managed to do that! Now I usually sleep in until about 9 or 10 am, clean the house, run errands. In the evenings, Todd and I will watch a movie, but I'm usually ready to go to sleep by 10 pm. Sad, isn't it?

I have a disease called 'Daily Chronic Headaches' - the short explanation is that I've had the same headache since August 2003. I think my ordeal since August 2003 started with a trip to Michigan's Adventure. It's an amusement park in Muskegon, MI, that has a water park and a regular amusement park (their slogan is 2 parks for the price of one). My best friend at the time and I went there on a very hot August Saturday, and spent nearly all day in the water park. It was fun, but I'm positive that it lead to an ear infection. I started feeling sick not long after this, and I went to the doctor several times, only to be told it's a virus (aka they have no clue what's wrong). I was sick for a month, and so sick that it got to the point that I had to go to the hospital and miss a week's worth of work. At the hospital, I was told I had strep throat and an ear infection. Because my regular doctor never diagnosed the ear infection, my ear was permently damaged. This is also when my headaches started. My doctor gave me FMLA for my headaches, otherwise I would have been fired for missing the weeks worth of work. It was good that I did get it, because I ended up using nearly all of it up. The next 9 months, I spent in and out of the hospital with the headaches. My regular doctor put me on every known headache / migraine medicine he knew of, and none of them worked. I went to a neurologist (he thought I was crazy), and other specialists - no-one could help me and my life was falling apart. One of my co-workers convinced me to try chiropractic, and it ended up being a Godsend to me. I could return to some degree of normalcy. Even though, I don't miss work anymore, and I don't usually miss social things, and the fact that I don't look sick, doesn't change the fact that I'm in constant pain. I have to watch what I eat, how active I am, make sure I get extra sleep, and I still have my bad days. Today is a bad day - thunderstorms are moving into the area, which always sets off my headaches, and getting upset yesterday didn't help. So, I'm trying to make it through work, and then I'll go home and go to bed.

My first job in the company I currently work in was the best job in the world. I loved it so much, but I was only temping for two ladies who were out on materinty leave. I bawled on my last day, on the way home from work, because I loved this job so much. My boss thought I was a great worker and he tried to A) keep me in his department or keep me in the company. I'm still in the company, but I don't like my current job nearly as much. Plus my boss in the old job was great, and my current boss is too busy to do much of anything besides sit in meetings. I just got a company wide email that one of the ladies who had a baby is leaving, tomorrow. Since this is the first I've heard of it, I'm guessing that they have someone else taking her place. I told my old boss that I would come back in a moment's notice, but I guess that's not going to happen. I sent him an email - to see if her position was filled. I know if I could go back there, I would have a wonderful job, with wonderful co-workers, and I'd be hired in right away. Because my mindset is of a depressed one, I feel that someone else is already working in her place, and it makes me want to cry. I can't even apply for the posting for her job, because I'm not hired in.

Since we bought our house in February, I've been itching to have a party. Since Todd's parents are coming up for the 4th, we are hosting our first party, a 4th of July BBQ. It will be mostly Todd's familly and friends, though it does sound like a couple we are both friends with are probably going to be able to come. I'm excited, but I'm sad at the same time - going back to my very whiny comment that I wish I had more friends. I'm not really sure how to make friends anymore. I tried and organized an Asheville meet & sniff, and it was fun, but it didn't lead anywhere in the friendship department. I'm not sure where someone goes to meet people in their late twenties / early thirties who like some of the same things I do. I'd love to find another gaming group, but I'm not sure where to find those either (I have looked in every comic shop I go into to see if there is anyone looking for gamers to join a game). I'm at a loss, and I'm sad about it... mostly because the two friends I have in this town (not counting Todd) seem to be distanting themselves from me (of course, this could be my paranoia when it comes to friends). This is reason I have issues with friends - in my life I've lost (driven away?) two groups of friends. I'm shy, though less than I used to be. I was painfully shy in my childhood, and so I didn't have a real friend until I was in the 6th grade. Her name was Heather and we were 'best friends' for the middle school years. We even shared a locker throughout high school. In high school, I began to discover who I am - the weird, geeky girl I am today. And Heather was more interested in being mainstream, a follower. Plus she could only have one good friend at a time. We had a group of friends, and in my senior year of high school, I began to realize how these people were ditching me, and not really my friends. They'd talk about trips they were going on, right in front of me, but I was never invited. If I wanted to do anything with them, I'd have to be the one to ask, and plan out the details - that got old really fast. I wasn't invested that emotionally with these people, so I decided one day that I didn't need them, and I'd find good friends in college. And I did - at least I thought I did. I met Sara freshman year in German class, and we became best friends quickly. We had other friends too, and a group formed that there were about 6 or 7 of us by the time we all graduated from college. I tried really hard to keep in touch, but as time went on they were less and less interested in keeping in touch with me, to the point that I was doing all the work. Unfortunely, I was very much emotionally invested in these people. I loved them like family, and I would have done anything for any of them. Unfortunely, they all decided (on their own, or as a group - I'm not sure) they didn't want to be my friend, which ended up them all ditching me on my birthday (Birthdays are big deals for me, especially since my mom died - and they knew this). This started a very hard time for me, because I ended up getting told that I was a horrible person (via livejournal no less), and it was really hard. I knew they weren't good friends, and that I was better off with out them. But it was like losing my entire family - I really did love them. So, about 6 months after this happened, we moved to NC, and make 2 friends right away. It was nice, but I couldn't seem to make any more friends. I'm not as whiney and depressing in real life as I am on online (online = venting), so I don't know what the problem is. I began to think that whatever drove both sets of friends away must be me... but I don't know why I'm so undesirable as a friend. Anyway, I've rambled enough - if you read this, and have any ideas why I see to be an anti-friend magnet, please let me know.

Good luck with everything!!