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Found 34 results

  1. Jenjin

    Type AB - Beard Oil

    For the most discerning vampires. Dragon’s blood resin, black cherry, clove, cardamom, black leather, and kyphi smoke.
  2. doomsday_disco

    Veins of Oil Like Lifeblood Beard Oil

    Globs of bubbling tar and rivulets of motor oil oozing through the grooves of rusted scavenged steel.
  3. A symphony of rust and fire: dust-blasted leather and the jagged concrete and steel teeth of time-blasted ruins, spattered with blood, choked with smoke, and thrumming with the distant drone of engines.
  4. doomsday_disco

    A Kingdom of Dust and Despair Beard Oil

    The scent of a forsaken land: cracked earth, gasoline seeping into sun-scorched sand. The scent of balsam and leather drifts across desolate dunes the glimmer dully with shards of frankincense.
  5. Jenjin

    Pumpkin Spice Beard Oil

    Pumpkin spice EVERYTHING.
  6. Jenjin

    Bonfire Smoke Beard Oil

    Woodsmoke, glowing embers, drifting ash, and the memory of bones.
  7. doomsday_disco

    Dwarven Lustre Beard Oil

    Dwarves have the highest standards in beard care, and we aim to please even the grimmest and grouchiest of the lot. Patchouli root, golden amber coins, jewel-bright red musk, mineral oudh, and sweet ale.
  8. doomsday_disco

    Supahwizard Beard Oil

    Are you a famous, gruff, all-powerful sage shacked up in a quaint local village, dispensing advice to adventurers? Have you sent any hobbits on quests? Died battling epic demons, only to rise again? Are you the wisest, most venerable wizard in town? Well, you don’t have to be – but you can fake it with our Supahwizard Beard Oil! Frankincense, sweet pipe tobacco, and the well-worn leather and parchment of ancient tomes.
  9. zankoku_zen

    Byronic Antihero Beard Oil

    An aristocratic cologne of titanic passions, moody and brooding. This scent is dark with disillusionment and cynicism: a Victorian fougere and a dashing carnation boutonniere tainted by a cloud of khus, yew, and patchouli.
  10. doomsday_disco

    Masala Chai Beard Oil

    Assam and Darjeeling tea, milk, and jaggery with a blend of cardamom, ginger, cinnamon, star anise, pepper, and fennel seed.
  11. doomsday_disco

    Lich, Please Beard Oil

    Even the undead need to look sharp. Crypt moss and coffin wood, incense smoke and shards of bone.
  12. doomsday_disco

    Sugared Cardamom Tea Beard Oil

    Black tea and roasted cardamom with cream and a dollop of sugar.
  13. doomsday_disco

    Wild Fig and Amber Beard Oil

    Alluring, sensuous, earthy.
  14. doomsday_disco

    Taro Bubble Tea Beard Oil

    Taro root, condensed milk, coconut milk, and tapioca pearls.
  15. doomsday_disco

    Cthulhu Beard Oil

    "If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings… It represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence…" A creeping, wet, slithering scent, dripping with seaweed, oceanic plants and dark, unfathomable waters.
  16. doomsday_disco

    Crowley Beard Oil

    "Nothing about him looked particularly demonic, at least by classical standards. No horns, no wings. Admittedly he was listening to a Best of Queen tape, but no conclusions should be drawn from this because all tapes left in a car for more than a fortnights metamorphose into Best of Queen albums. No particularly demonic thoughts were going through his head. In fact, he was wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were. Crowley had dark hair, and good cheekbones, and he was wearing snakeskin shoes, or at least presumably he was wearing shoes, and he could do really weird things with his tongue. And, whenever he forgot himself, he had a tendency to hiss." Infernal musk, red patchouli, lilac cologne, mahogany, lemon rind, oakmoss, leather, and vanilla husk.
  17. doomsday_disco

    Aziraphale Beard Oil

    "Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Two of these were wrong; Heaven is not England, whatever certain poets may have thought, and angels are sexless unless they really want to make an effort." Ethereal musk, blonde woods, and dusty Bible accord.
  18. doomsday_disco

    The Antikythera Mechanism Beard Oil

    Bronze gears spin inside a polished wooden case, and an entire universe dances within. Teakwood, oak, black vanilla, and tobacco.
  19. zankoku_zen

    Dee Beard Oil

    His scent is soft English leather, rosewood and tonka with a hint of incense, parchment and soft woods.
  20. zankoku_zen

    Aristotle Beard Oil

    Oman frankincense, Greek sage, and white juniper.
  21. zankoku_zen

    Jolly Roger Beard Oil

    Sea spray with an undercurrent of leather, Bay Rum, and salty, dry woods.
  22. Ina Garten Davita

    Socius Beard Oil

    A solid, steadfast blend of patchouli, smoked vanilla husk, ambergris accord, and tawny oudh.
  23. zankoku_zen

    Daddy by Effy Beard Oil

    The scent is the same! A roll in the hay with a sexy demon daddy: a diabolical incense with a splash of bay rum and a hiss of infernal fougere.
  24. Ina Garten Davita

    Hellbeard Beard Oil

    Bourbon tobacco, gunpowder, and brimstone.
  25. zankoku_zen

    Bram Stoker Beard Oil

    "No man knows till he has suffered from the night how sweet and dear to his heart and eye the morning can be." Bourbon vetiver with opoponax, Italian bergamot, and hay absolute.
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