Signior Dildo

[Dark Alice]

SIGNIOR DILDO
With thanks to Sir John Wilmot.

This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb
As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;
Then away with these nasty devices, and show
How you rate the just merit of Signior Dildo.

Count Cazzo, who carries his nose very high,
In passion he swore his rival should die;
Then shut himself up to let the world know
Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior Dildo.

A rabble of pricks who were welcome before,
Now finding the porter denied them the door,
Maliciously waited his coming below
And inhumanly fell on Signior Dildo.

Nigh wearied out, the poor stranger did fly,
And along the Pall Mall they followed full cry;
The women concerned from every window
Cried, 'For heaven's sake, save Signior Dildo.'

The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughter
To see how the ballocks came wobbling after,
And had not their weight retarded the foe,
Indeed't had gone hard with Signior Dildo.

A scent of pearls and ivory: orris, violet leaf, narcissus, and Madagascar vanilla.

This is a soft gorgeous violet scent. The orris root is not too dry as a matter of fact it keeps the violet from becoming too sweet and too floral. By no means is this a comparison to faith-sugared violets. I don't smell any narcissus either. This is straight up Madagascar vanilla, with hints of orris and violet. Just lovely. If you love vanilla and violet...this one is for you.

[hlemonds]

Lovely fresh, sweet floral. This is quite a bit stronger than i expected, but that isn't a bad thing! As this ages i anticipate that the vanilla will assert itself, making this even more gorgeous. I'm really pleased with this one!

[tielan]

Signior Dildo was violets and herbal in the bottle, but five minutes after I put him on, he was gone! Violets, orris, narcissus, vanilla. All vanished in an instant!

 

Signior Dildo gave me no pleasure at all.

 

 

[Pepperminx]

I was hoping for more violet from Signior Dildo.

 

Wet it smells rather dry-ish and I don't get any vanilla or violet. As it dries, though, out comes the vanilla. All in all it smells like, dare I say it, a big flesh colored dildo. There must be a reason they are scented like this - it smells really pleasant.

 

Still wish there was more violet in this, but am glad I got a bottle as I think the vanilla will age beautifully.

[Lorelai1945]

In the bottle this is the most amazing mix of vanilla and soft floral. It is FANTASTIC- I wish it smelled like this on me. When I put it on, I smell mostly floral- it reminds me a lot of a scent I used to wear from Crabtree and Evelyn. It's almost like lilac or wisteria- that must be the orris or narcissus. I don't get as much vanilla as I was hoping for, but it's there underneath the floral, and it's a nice soft floral. The more it dries, I get a little vanilla. I hope this shall get better (i.e. more vanilla) with age.

 

Hmm. I dunno. Still not much vanilla coming out in this. I don't mind it, but I wanted more vanilla.

Edited February 16, 2010 by VioletFemme

[DeltaCat]

Very light and feminine scent. Very light actually. I don't get very much vanilla, but I do get lots of violet. This one doesn't last very long on though.

[edenssixthday]

Signior Dildo - This scent is a perfect example of why I test even the scents that sound awful and don't smell good in the bottle. This scent's ingredient list didn't intrigue me in the least, and when I smelled it in the bottle, I was unimpressed. But I tried it on, and was instantly blown away by the gorgeousness it takes on the moment it touches my skin. The narcissus isn't present in this scent at all (to my nose, at least). The vanilla isn't the rich, warm, buttery scent I associate with most of the vanillas I prefer, but it's light and sweet, and almost floral. The dry orris and sweet violet compliment the vanilla perfectly. I can't put into words what a beautiful, feminine fragrance this is on me. It's perfect for springtime and just delightful. I'm soooo glad I tried it after all!

 

Edited to add that my skin tends to eat up vanilla blends, but this one has really good staying power, even though it sticks pretty close to my skin after the first hour or so.

Edited February 16, 2010 by edenssixthday

[reynardine]

In decant: very pretty floral

 

Wet: Violets! And something else behind them, but mainly violets.

 

Drydown: Oh, I am just reeling in the prettiness of this blend! There’s just a touch of vanilla—not enough for the dread plastic tinge, but to give it a sweet taste.

 

Later: That’s it. I must have a bottle of this.

 

 

[musichappens]

A very light, soft floral with just a hint of vanilla. Even though I was hoping for a little bit stronger of a violet in this blend, I still really like it! It's definitely more of a girly-feminine type of scent which I can see myself wearing quite a lot once Spring finally gets here.

[SmileCat]

This is soft, sweet, and white-smelling. At first a sweet and floral blend, it dries into powder. Not powdery-smelling but literal powder. I could almost feel the particles tickling my nose. Expensive, scented powder however. Then when fully dry it has a similar feel and quality as Antique Lace, but without the linen note that sometimes overpowers on me. Dusty vanilla. Innocent smelling. Pretty.

[Saya]

This is quite pretty. Mostly vanilla with a hint of violet. It's a soft smell but it has incredible throw and longevity. After awhile it almost has a skin musk scent to it. Very nice, I think I'm going to need a bottle.

[Little Bird]

I have to agree with SmileCat's review in that this smells like an expensive dusting powder. I get sweet, dry, powdery violets and an expensive smelling vanilla. It smells luxurious and makes me feel like I should be sitting naked at a vanity and dusting myself with a variety of decadent, expensive potions. It's very romantic and pretty and makes me feel kinda shy and vulnerable. I could see myself wearing this when the hubby takes me out for a surprise romantic night and we're getting all dressed up. I would not, however, tell him the name of what I was wearing (the name does not seem quite as shy and romantic as the oil makes me feel, lol)...

It reminds me a bit of LUSH's Bathos scent.

 

ETA: My bottle of this went bad after about 2 years it now smells like melting plastic, honeydew melon and smoke. Drydown is all of that with a whiff of sickly sweet, cloying, tropical-ish vanilla. Weird and gross. I wish I'd worn it more when I first got it.

Edited January 25, 2013 by Little Bird

[wl552]

"A scent of pearls and ivory" sums it up nicely and neatly. First time I sniffed it in the bottle and today for a full wear it is beautiful. Soft and sensual; it makes one feel innocently sexy, but somehow in a very naughty way. I love this one a lot. Definitely glad I have a bottle.

[thekittenkat]

I must admit that I was somewhat afraid of testing the Signior, as orris and violet don't usually work on me. However, this oil has the leaf and not the flower of violet, so that made a difference. But the vanilla overwhelmed everything, so that came up vanilla with some florals. It's surprisingly pretty and sweet and good. Not at all what I was expecting, so pleasantly surprised. Also: I love vanilla.

[Leopard403]

I agree with the comparison to Lush's Bathos, because this is a sugary violet to me. Also similar to Faith, though not that top-note-sweet sugar; this is deeper, and must be the vanilla. It's nice and needs more testing.

[theseagrows]

hm, this scent is weird. it smells very young and very mature to me at the same time-not sure why that is. this is an interesting vanilla-paired with the orris it's reminding me of a slightly white floral-white musk combination. the violet is evident at first, but goes into the background once dry, and the narcissus (i think) comes up to the forefront, making this like a narcissus-white musk kind of scent on my skin. it smells like a musky yet fresh spring scent. i don't really love it, nor do i hate it...andi'm not sure i'd wear it too much.

 

[milo]

Wet, this is just lovely on me. A beautiful warm, woody vanilla. As it dries, the narcissus amps out of control on me, and it becomes a heady floral. Narcissus is lovely for me in some blends, but here it is just much too overpowering. I wish it stayed how it was wet, it would have been hoard worthy for sure. I'll hang on to my decant, in case things change with age, but won't be seeking out any more Dildos.

[Venneh]

In the imp, this is a creamy, sharper floral... and, like Penis Admiration, this is very similar smelling to a dildo. Beth seems to have a knack for that with this update. On my skin, I'm definitely getting the violet leaf and the orris and the narcissus, but not so much the vanilla. We'll see what hapens. Ends up being a light floral on me, quite similar to Eos, which I was wearing earlier today, the vanilla shows up to make it a bit creamier, but never makes a huge appearance. Gonna pass on this.

Edited March 6, 2010 by Venneh

[Siberia]

This smells absolutely amazing in the bottle, like a really clean vanilla floral without any headachiness to it. When I put it on, the florals stay well-behaved, but instead of vanilla, it turns into this weird watery-ozone-y note of death that I think of as the lab's "slush" note and that I get from the snow maiden. I'm going to give this a week or so to see if it settles down, but if not, it's going in the swap pile.

[pinkstardust420]

this is sooooooooooooooo pretty! a musky vanilla, with a touch of violet...and to my nose, this has a hint of black opal in it somewhere too, I think. it's beautiful.

[crebbsgirl]

 

This. Is. Gorgeous.

 

I think the best way to describe this smell is sex in spring. Not "actual" sex, but the anticipation and lusty feelings leading up to the first time you do it with someone new. The intoxicating rush and the sense of something new. The violets and narcissus give this a distinctive flowery smell, but the blend itself is not overly floral. More like a sweet freshness. The vanilla and orris prevent this from being straight up flowers on me, and give it some depth and softening. The entire effect is quite swoon-worthy. I want to bathe in this stuff!!

[thestrangeheart]

This is probably my knockout for the Lupers-- I got a half bottle but I'm not sure that will be enough!

 

This is just such a pretty scent. In the bottle it's a soft, sweet violet with vanilla musk hiding in the background. Once it's on me, though, the vanilla and violet have about equal predominance. The other florals combine to soften up the violet. It makes me think of a young Grecian girl in an organdy dress and a wreath of flowers in her hair. It's a tiny bit reminiscent of Antique Lace but much more floral and lighter. This had pretty decent lasting time and throw, and it just makes me happy to sniff my wrist.

[lainevierge]

Wet, this reminds me a lot of Black Lace and Raven Moon. However, it's less plastic than Black Lace and not as sexy/spicy as Raven Moon. On the drydown the violet goes powdery and while it's still lovely, I like my bottle of Raven Moon more.

[fairnymph]

Extremely pale yellow nearly colourless oil. Soft, sweet, creamy and cool. The narcissus is less sharp and obnoxious than usual, the vanilla is delicate but not weak and very creamy, the orris is a lovely softly powdery violety note. And then I get a bunch of lilac, blue lilac, which is giving the cool feel combined with the light herbal edge of violet leaf.

 

LILAC! Alllll about the lilac. And unfortunately I think lately Beth has been using a lilac note that goes rotten on my skin, because as in Penis Admiration, the lilac here is doing that. The narcissus is sharper and stronger, but the vanilla is too - sweeter, richer, heavier. A tad more violet leaf, which is reminding me a bit of sage - sort of a dry, almost masculine herbal note. The orris remains soft and lovely, no amping but no fading either. I think I would like this quite a bit without the lilac and narcissus...

 

LILAC LILAC LILAC LILAC . Soapy, heady, slightly rotten, revolting foul. It's so strongly floral it reminds me of an evil gardenia and it amps the same crazy way on my skin - INSANE THROW. The violet leaf is a bit dry and crumbly, not so great but bearable, and the narcissus is a bit sharp and plastic, but beaten into submission a great deal by the lilac of doom. A light and lovely base - what I WISH this scent were - of rich, syrupy vanilla and soft, violety orris that's only faintly powdery and one of the loveliest orris notes I've ever encountered - very similar or identical to the one in Silver Phoenix.

 

Epic fail.

 

Also, this oil never dries. Not even after HOURS!

Edited March 15, 2010 by fairnymph

[anomie]

Imp: Violet and narcissus. Far more demure than I would have expected for a scent of this name.

 

Wet: Narcissus! Sweet and fresh.

 

Dry: Where did it go? Whiffs of vanilla, narcissus and orris, but it's almost gone already. Sad. Off to the swap pile.

Edited March 22, 2010 by Nomie